Wisdom Needed

15 Comments

1. AnonymousJune 7,2022 at 1:26PM UTC

   First off, with this new job offer, even if the company makes the first compensation offer, you should definitely counter with a number that is comfortably higher than your recent 9% raise. It is 2022, everything is more expensive, and we can bank on inflation going up. Many times the only way to get a significant raise in pay is to find a new opportunity. It’s great that your current supervisor cares for you…but if they genuinely care about your happiness and career progress, they will also understand if you decide to leave and there won’t be any burnt bridges.

2. IntentionGirl630054June 7,2022 at 3:46PM UTC

   Unfortunately, I can tell you from my own experience that once I decided to leave the company for more interesting opportunities, and did the requisite effort to get a few offers, I did accept my manager's counteroffer. It was not a good choice on my part. I regret that I did not follow the newer opportunity. And part of the problem was that my heart/head had left the company. Females have a mistaken idea of loyalty to a company or manager -- in the USA, given 'at will' employment, this is just sort of silly. Make sure you choose based on your career needs. Also, grief counselors will often say to not make any huge decisions in the first year, but giving yourself the time to grieve, to share your grief with family members who are grieving, is also very important. If working remotely provides you the extra (non-commuter) time to do your job the best, and use your personal time as you need, that might be your best career move at this time.

3. AnonymousJune 8,2022 at 12:18PM UTC

   I agree. It's been my experience that when anyone accepts the counteroffer from their current company, it rarely works out. More money for the same work experience (unfulfilling/boring/limited growth) will not get your head or heart back in the game. I even had a recruiter friend tell me the average lifecycle is 6 months for employees who accept and stay.

4. Heather CutlerJune 8,2022 at 12:36PM UTC

   I read a statistic that when people accept a counter offer they still leave the company within a year.

5. AnonymousJune 7,2022 at 4:50PM UTC

   I have been in this situation and was very clear in not only my next step, I was very clear on my list of must haves and my value. I was coming from a nice level of compensation and determined through research that not only could I keep that salary, I aimed to increase it. I negotiated hard and was able to best my salary level because I was prepared, open to compromise and understood my value.

6. Nicolette ThompsonJune 8,2022 at 12:29PM UTC

   first, my sympathies for your family’s loss. A major loss like that can cause you to change how you look at things.

   second, once you’re above a certain pay point, the way you evaluate jobs must change. Those under that point don’t generally get it, those of us above it, it’s the norm.

   I made the choice between my 16+ year previous employer, a consulting company, and a startup, earlier this year. The consulting company was paying $140k, the startup $115k, my old job $101k.

   youre going to make a weighted matrix for your decision. All the points of the decision making get a weight and a score.

   First step: imagine all the jobs pay the same. Pick the highest number. What does your life look like? For me, not much different actually. Make cash compensation a weight of 1.

   compare the benefits package (pto, health, retirement) for me they were all comparable, and I have my retirement plans outside of any employer pension, weight = 1

   Next I had things like coolness factor, quality of team I work with, potential for advancement, potential for next steps, location, company ethics, company culture… all real subjective but also important.

   I suggest you make your own matrix - take some time and think about what’s important - and discuss it with your current boss once you have scores in there. They may be able to fix some of it (bump the score up for employer A) but it also may gently prove that employer A is no longer a fit for you as your life has changed. AND THATS OK.

7. Carma SchrammJune 8,2022 at 2:24PM UTC

   This is an awesome way to think about the evaluation process! Thank you.

8. RiaJune 8,2022 at 5:08PM UTC

   Love this response!

9. AnonymousJune 8,2022 at 12:43PM UTC

   First, wait until you get the offer from the new company and see what the total package is (comp, benefits, WFH opportunities, etc.).

   Second, just because your current manager made a counteroffer doesn't mean you have to accept it. If the most important thing to you is full time WFH and your current job will only let you WFH 3x/week during the summer, if that doesn't meet your requirements then that's fine.

   Good luck!

10. AnonymousJune 8,2022 at 2:23PM UTC

    It's hard to say...

    On one hand, it seems like a very good offer and they really want to keep you... on the other hand, you may need to find another position... all in all, it's up to you. Do what your heart feels is right for you.

11. JYJJune 8,2022 at 2:53PM UTC

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I wouldn't have said anything to my current supervisor until I had the offer in hand. However, 3 days remote only during the summer? Does that mean for the other 3 seasons, you're back to 5 days a week with that awful commute? Money is important, but it's not everything. Follow your gut-that place between your head and your heart. It will never steer you wrong.

12. AnonymousJune 8,2022 at 6:13PM UTC

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

    In terms of the post, I think you should also price out the cost of how much you pay for the commute (train ticket, gas, parking) or lunches etc any expenditures you have to pay currently in order to get to your job.

    On paper you make six figures but if you spend a good chunk of it on just getting into the office then it defeats the purpose. Price it out at the current salary, plus the proposed new 9% increase. I think that will give you a better idea of where you stand when/if you get the offer for the new job you’re applying for.

    Also, don’t forget to compare the benefits that come with the current job vs potential new job. (Healthcare, Retirement package, Wellness benefits etc)

    Good luck!

13. AnonymousJune 8,2022 at 11:15PM UTC

    Hmmm this is a tricky one.
    If it was not for the 1hr commute (1 way I am guessing) I would say, most tough jobs tend to level off by year 2 or 3 as a person gets used to the day to day. But if it is really 2hrs a day spent to get to and from work, that could be rough. But teleworking 3 days a week and a supporting boss, not bad.

    My Advice: If you are giving the new job, rather than quit your current job. Ask to take 2 weeks to test drive the new position. See if the new employer will give you an opportunity to test it out so you can determine if it is something you would really like (yes even if for free). Because what you don't want to do is roll into another job where even though it is remote, but the work is more stressful and the people are toxic. And you would not know until you are immersed in it. Some people work their entire lives and never encounter a boss that is as accomodating as yours. From the way it sounds, you are even makng mistakes and she is more interested in your longterm growth. But good luck either way with what you decide. With regards to your nephew recent passing, my condolences make sure you take some bereavement time off as needed.

14. AnonymousJune 9,2022 at 12:13AM UTC

    You are in a *great* place, because your current company clearly values you and you are also being considered for a new role. *Congratulations*, along with deep sympathies on the loss of your nephew.

    Here are the steps I would take:

    -Make a list of all the factors that you value for your next job with a score for each item, weighting the factors, if necessary. That allows you to score the two jobs fairly objectively. (Note: you can include a “gut feeling” factor and reactions of family members.)

    -If/when you receive another offer, compare the offer against your present job. Get 5 (or more) business days to respond to the new offer.

    -Decide for the job with the higher score OR (if you wish to do so) give your current company an opportunity to counter the new offer. (If there is a counter from your current company, you might want to ask new company to improve its offer before you make a final decision.)

    If you decide to leave your current job:

    -Express sincere appreciation for the support of your current company and all that you learned there.

    -Make yourself available for a month or two for questions from your current company concerning the transition. [NOTE: quick questions, not hours of your time.]

    -Stay on a friendly basis with your current company after you have moved on. If, after you have moved on, there is an opportunity to refer business to your current or to help them in any way (without hurting the new company), do so. And if you refer someone to your current company, let them know directly. [Call or e-mail saying: You might be hearing from [name]. I’ve referred them to you because I thought they’d have interest in your xx product/s/service/s.]. This will ensure continued good relations.

    Again, congratulations to you!

15. Rosa GoesJune 9,2022 at 12:57AM UTC

    My condolences to you and your family. I would stay in the current position to give yourself time to grieve. You don't need the added stress of learning a new job, meeting new people, etc. You have the familiarity & routine of your current job to help you reprioritize your life, and you will know when it's time to move on. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck!