Started a new company a year ago.

Anonymous

July 14,2023 at 10:35PM UTC

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Started a new company a year ago. Since then there have been layoffs and department closures. I myself do not feel stable. My employee resigned and is going to the previous company I was terminated from. I am concerned he will gossip about me. I still am hurt over the termination being I was there 15 years. I also feel like a bad manager even though he gave me positive feedback. How do I shake this feeling?

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AnonymousJuly 14,2023 at 10:46PM UTC
Unfortunately, everyone looks for things to gossip about - they feel like it makes them belong more.
I heard someone on TV today say that "these days, it seems like everyone is always looking for something that they can be mad about."
You'll be fine. Keep doing your job.
AnonymousJuly 15,2023 at 12:10AM UTC
I know I just feel ridiculed from my previous employer and now he is going to that company. Feels like a slap in the face.
AnonymousJuly 15,2023 at 2:52PM UTC
Your current company is unstable. One of your employees left and is going to a company that fired you. How is that about you?
In any city there’s a finite number of employers. Your employee wasn’t there to build your confidence. They were there to earn so they could eat and one day advance.
And now you are worried they will say what??? People there aren’t thinking about you.
AnonymousJuly 15,2023 at 11:54PM UTC
Agree. I honestly do not blame them just where they are going stings.
misskelleypJuly 16,2023 at 7:09PM UTC
Is he going there BECAUSE you were terminated? Or is there some connection? Or is it simply that this company is in the industry where your employee has experience? You're making it personal, when most likely it has zero to do with you. Take some deep breaths and let it go.
AnonymousJuly 16,2023 at 10:47PM UTC
It is the same industry and our competition. They have excellent benefits and never have layoffs. Trying not to take it personal. Thank you.
AnonymousJuly 15,2023 at 3:43PM UTC
How would this affect you unless you consider reapplying to the place that fired you? I agree that you should keep your head down and do your work to avoid being put on the following list of layoffs.
AnonymousJuly 15,2023 at 11:54PM UTC
That is what I am trying to do. Due to the instability I myself am thinking of leaving end of year.
AnonymousJuly 15,2023 at 4:31PM UTC
Sounds like you haven't gotten over being terminated from the company. You were there 15 years and feel you deserved better. I've seen companies lay off talented employees with 30+ years with the company. Please remember that companies will keep you so long as its good for their bottom line. When you cease to make sense economically you are out. Its not personal. That you were there 15 years should tell you it had nothing to do with your work quality. If this still bothers you, perhaps you should seek counseling. As for your associate you shouldn't care about him gossipping about you to an organization you've cut ties with. People will always gossip about you. If you feel he gave you constructive feedback work on those areas that need improvement. You should also take leadership and effective managementbcourses since you're a new business owner. Think about developing new business so you are in a position to scale your company and hire some of the folks from this group.
AnonymousJuly 15,2023 at 11:55PM UTC
I am in counseling for this. Hoping to get better.
AnonymousJuly 17,2023 at 2:26AM UTC
In addition, the employee who resigned probably did so due to layoffs. Those always cause people to look and some to then leave for other companies.
He was probably just looking out for himself in an unstable company.
AnonymousJuly 16,2023 at 2:18PM UTC
Feelings aren't facts, and being unable to shake them off despite knowing the facts is kind of the definition of irrationality.
Considering all you've been through, therapy is probably your best bet. Look for someone older. I wound up with a therapist who really had no idea what it's like to age within a toxic workforce and culture. Our standing in society is core to our identity, and losing that is really hard. I was terminated after 13 years in a job I expected to retire from, so I totally understand how devastating it can be, even after seemingly recovering and moving on.
Afo Ogbeyalu KaluJuly 17,2023 at 12:17PM UTC
GM.
I suggest that you consider discussing these feelings with a professional therapist. That person would help you develop strategies to utilize when you begin to dwell on how others may perceive you, or may talk about you.
AnonymousJuly 17,2023 at 12:25PM UTC
I agree with other posters that seeing someone might be your best bet. Just remember we can't control what others think or say so worrying about that is just wasted energy. Put your focus into things that are positive for you.
AnonymousJuly 17,2023 at 5:12PM UTC
I assume in your exit documents you have him sign some non-disparagement language? If not do this for sure and have it be both ways you won't disparage him and he won't disparage you. Startup life is hard for some people and perhaps this was why he decided to go back? If not have a chat with him and let him know that you still support him and that you wish him well as he returns. Bridges burned are not the thing, he hopefully won't go there. As for how to get over it? Hopefully your business is still functioning, if so focus on that and your next hire and keep going. Not everyone works out when you hire them, even if you worked with them in the past. If you cannot decompress, perhaps see a counselor for some guidance. Good luck.
AnonymousJuly 18,2023 at 3:14AM UTC
Thank you. I did not hire this person. Looking to build a new team.
AnonymousJuly 19,2023 at 2:47AM UTC
Please do not give legal advice unless you're an attorney. The National Labor Relations Board recently ruled broad none disparagement clauses are unlawful. In their memo, the agency's general counsel made clear the ruling was retroactive, applicable to agreements signed before the board's decision in February 2023. Now, there are certain kinds of none disparagement and confidentiality agreements which are lawful - employers can prohibit workers from making malicious, false statements (defamation) or spilling trade secrets. Please consult with an attorney licensed in your state.
Crystal HowellJuly 20,2023 at 4:07PM UTC
You moved on! look forward.
The past is in the past you need to grow and start a new you!
They no longer pay your bills, be happy for your new job.