Any suggestions for giving my notice when I'm quitting because of my boss?

69 Comments

1. Michelle S.April 6,2022 at 5:09PM UTC

   This is very adult of you.

   :) I appreciate your thoughtfulness in approaching this situation.

   I definitely understand the need and want to outline reasons for leaving when a particular manager or situation is toxic or negative. Depending on the size of the company you work for, you could just put in your notice and then there could possibly be an exit interview with an HR manager. Those are always great because, as a former HR, I always tried to get honesty in feedback because it is genuinely helpful in monitoring sentiment and culture.

   so if you work for a company that does exit interviews, you don’t even have to say anything to your actual manager and instead you can offload those concerns with your HR.

   It doesn’t sound like you have a great supervisor but great ones do know that people don’t leave companies, they leave managers.

   Another thing to consider is who will be giving your reference? In the worst case scenario of someone needing an individuals reference for you, would they go to your HR or your current manager? That situation would also factor into your decision.

   It sounds like you are a highly intelligent individual so, if you feel like you can handle it and you need to get things off your chest, ask to sit down with your manager after you fulfilled your notice. Tell him or her why you’re leaving with the utmost respect and professionalism and get it off your chest.

   Hopefully they grow from it and if they are not the type to grow from it, as long as you’re professional, they can’t really complain about it.

   Best of luck!

2. AnonymousApril 6,2022 at 5:56PM UTC

   If no one in HR or management done exit interviews or investigated then they are not at all concerned and accept her explanations as fact.

   If you don't need any references or recommendations from the company and can afford to burn a bridge, then be vocal about your experience.

   I personally never speak about my experience, especially when others have gone before and said nothing or if they did, their opinions and experiences meant nothing.

3. AnonymousApril 6,2022 at 6:04PM UTC

   If you must say something, stick to your own specific experiences with your boss. Don't try and validate your experience and opinions by bringing other people's leaving into your reasoning. It invalidates your explanation and weakens your position. Your reasons for leaving should be specific to your experience alone. If HR and management are inclined to connect the dots that is their business. You don't need to do it for them.

4. AnonymousApril 7,2022 at 10:13PM UTC

   Along those lines...
   don't trust most coworkers. They may hate it but will stay because they have to or because it really hasn't been as bad for them as it's been for you. I worked with people who did not like my previous employer one bit but alas, they're still there. I've stayed in touch with them and have heard the same mantra for quite some time-- "I just keep my head down and stay out of trouble." It usually has to get pretty bad at an org or someone has to be the target of bullying for a person to leave. We've seen some just coast along at a crappy org, deal with the nonsense, and eventually get a promotion or transfer. Hard to say why some people leave, but never assume everyone hates it.

5. AnonymousApril 8,2022 at 7:26PM UTC

   Sotrue.

6. AnonymousApril 6,2022 at 10:04PM UTC

   While sharing your experience might make you feel better. I've seen situations where comments made in private before leaving have made it back to the individual and followed the person who really wanted just to share their toxic experience. It wasn't pretty and followed them as gossip for a very long time.

7. AnonymousApril 7,2022 at 9:13AM UTC

   In my last role I made it clear that management was toxic and outlined specific behaviors of the mangers. For example, I reported a manager for asking me to perform personal favors. But I knew absolutely 100% that I needed to do so. My female manger was toxic as hell. I know she is because upon her taking over, all senior leaders left and about 25% of the team left. She was a piece of work. And nasty as all hell. She also kept promoting and hiring toxic managers. She was able to rise to the top to lead the entire division by firing anyone who complained about toxic people. And she harassed people to the point where some left for lunch and never came back. I work for the government so people who quit suddenly without adverse action. It turns out that I wasn't marked as unhirable so I have been rehired to work in another division. Oh, PS>>>>Are you popular and very skilled? If so, that can determine whether or not you can complain and or suffer long term consequences.

8. AnonymousApril 7,2022 at 2:01PM UTC

   Nope, it doesn't matter. Everyone in your circle already knows she sucks.

9. AnonymousApril 7,2022 at 3:14PM UTC

   At a previous job, I had wanted to let HR know that I was leaving because of my manipulative, incompetent supervisor but did not have the opportunity.
   I was told they do not conduct exit interviews. It was a toxic org so I should not have been surprised that they had no interest in hearing the truth about their awful managers.

   So, if you are offered an exit interview, take advantage of it but don't turn it into a 3 hour complaint. Some places take these interviews serious and don't retaliate, others don't care or worse, will try to damage you for it. Make sure you have a good read on the culture.

10. AnonymousApril 7,2022 at 3:50PM UTC

    Your opportunity would be in an exit interview - if they offer them. If they don't, just move on and leave it as is.

    If you do get an exit interview, make sure to keep it neutral and not whiny. Provide facts not opinions.

11. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 12:06PM UTC

    Move on respectfully. Your exit comments, even well intentioned, won't fix this. Look forward to doing a great job at your new employer!

12. Susan KuhnApril 11,2022 at 12:22PM UTC

    Keep your eyes on where you're going. It's far more professional.

    As you say, it doesn't matter in the long run.

13. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 12:29PM UTC

    Something similar happened to me, I left a position because I didn’t like how my boss ran his area, we had a ton of QA checking, I had to document all of my work everyday it was a job on its own, and when I had suggestions it wasn’t ever considered, I was hired as a project manager but I felt like a peon. So when I had an exit interview and mentioned this my boss then turned around and made me not hireable at that company… so maybe it is best to just keep quiet if you are ever considering coming back to that company even in a different division.

14. AnonymousApril 12,2022 at 1:46PM UTC

    You should speak up if a manger is incompetent at leadership. Leadership is a skill, and it has to be developed - feedback is one way to help a manager to gain insight into what they can improve on. If the company decided to put "no hire" on your file, because you gave feedback that you were leaving because of poor leadership...that speaks LOADS about that company and not someplace you'd want to go back to and work. Besides, the "no hire" is insignificant and should not deter anyone from giving the feedback that corporate America desperately needs right now.

15. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 12:39PM UTC

    I agree with the posts here, move on professionally.

    In my 50 years working in corporate business, I’ve yet to see (I don’t say this easily) few in leadership that matter or pay attention to a lousy manager.

    I’ve been told “we know he/she/they/them are a problem, a bully but, they produce, so everyone else suffers at the hand of one manager . Companies provide training on hostile work environments, harassment, retaliation, I’ve seen all those rules thrown out the window and it’s made me very sad to admit that.

    I’ve seen human resource vice president‘s, directors, play favorites and bully people they just didn’t like. regretfully, it’s made me feel very differently about corporate America.

    What you have to worry about here is, the unknowns, how it will go down on record, how it might affect a reference??? Exit knowing you were professional and you kept your dignity and integrity and be happy you moved on.

16. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 12:41PM UTC

    Doesn't seem like there is any benefit to you in doing this. Look out for yourself and just move on. It is interesting to me to see how blind upper management/executive management is regarding these toxic bosses.

17. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 12:46PM UTC

    Do not confront her, share your concerns with HR upon your exit interview.

18. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 1:12PM UTC

    HR should not be updated, they are there to protect the company and they really don't want to listen.

19. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 2:55PM UTC

    I agree that the resignation letter should be professional and courteous.

    Regarding HR, HR is a leadership role that often has a reporting manager and subordinates. Just like any leader, HR wants to know what is going on and be aware of any issues in order to help remedy.

    I began a new HR role in January of 2021 - I should have seen the glaring red flags during the interview. As a leader I reach out to other leaders, department heads, and others to get "real life" insight into workflows, team objectives, and pain points. Three people quit my first couple of weeks on the job. One retired, one had already submitted resignation and I did not have the back story, one simply sent a two line email the night before. Within a couple of more weeks more people were complaining, resigning, getting fired, or going on PIPs. During exit interviews - 5 or 6 in one week - one of the ladies resigning stated "I don't want to leave, I don't feel appreciated". Most of the other exit interviews echoed a similar theme. They pointed to direct leaders or other leaders for lack of direction, lack of transparency, lack of opportunity to have any dialogue, etc. Believe me, this place was constantly "re-designing" and re-outlining duties and departments.

    As HR, I was very clear on how I approached exit interview and feedback - it needs to be balanced. And especially since I was newer, I did not always have the complete back story. But there should be a discussion with leaders with all exit interviews and triaging interviews that pointed to something possibly more significant. Another reminder point - yes, I am HR, I am also an employee. If there are issues, HR and every other employee feels the fall out and should feel responsible to remedy.

    I had one manager reach out to discuss what was happening with her staff's exit interviews. The CEO came on board a few days later wanting to get immediate feedback (especially if there was something glaring) and to schedule regular meetings to discuss the interview responses and the leadership/organizational goals (especially regarding engagement and feedback). I thought that was a huge win.

    The HR role I took was eliminated due to COVID; however, there were some very glaring issues with leadership that I should have recognized during the interview and while working.

    Anyone in leadership is tied into and responsible for employee engagement and feedback. There are some employees that are simply "bad eggs". Those bad eggs can appear at any and every level of employee from top down. If feedback and improvement are not emphasized, it is not one employee's issue (i.e., HR). There is a bigger problem - ego, "this is the way we do things", or they simply do not care. Trust me, I've been there.

    Therefore, write a professional resignation letter, be specific and professional in exit interview ("I'm seeking a better fit where I am supported and developed beyond what I am receiving here"). In one instance, I wrote a Glassdoor review "Management did not align with an autonomous and collaborative environment supporting growth and development" - nothing negative or ugly and not directed toward anyone specifically. It was an overall negative leadership experience. The definition of "people don't leave organizations, they leave leaders".

20. AnonymousApril 13,2022 at 11:14AM UTC

    If they do exit interviews it could be discussed at that time. That information is usually logged. Even if the current HR team doesn't care a new team or mgmt switch usually want to review such data. I'm going thru that at my current job now. We lost an employee over a yr ago bc of issues with her then (my now) mgr. They r following up with me regarding claims on her exit interview. They wanna know if I'm having the same issues. I never contacted HR mind u.

21. Alyssa BowkerApril 11,2022 at 12:48PM UTC

    I put my resignation in last week. I just said what position I was resigning from and my last day. They don’t NEED to know your next move or why. If it’s not a safe environment to be fully honest, only provide the bare minimum in honesty.

22. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 12:50PM UTC

    Move on. Save all of it for your friends/here maybe a therapist. I can understand the feeling. I have left a similar situation. They hired a person who looked the part but was dumber than a box of hair and expected me to do my job plus theirs. Attempted to write me up for refusing to stay to complete a project by days end after giving it to me at 8am when they hadn’t done the project for weeks. Every member of the team left except 1 within a year of them being hired and that person didn’t leave bc they were months away from retirement. I’m still having feelings of imposter syndrome but am better since leaving. Just remove yourself from the toxic boss. Hugs!

23. Heather BinghamApril 11,2022 at 12:59PM UTC

    I don't think it's worth it. It is always better to exit a job leaving the fewest ripples behind you, because you just never know what you'll need in the future. It doesn't sound to me like you're absolutely burning to make the point, so I very much doubt in a few years' time that you'll be sorry that you didn't. It is best to leave her to her ineptitude, with grace and dignity in tact.

24. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 1:08PM UTC

    Over a year ago, I left a lucrative position because of a horrific manager... I had tempted every possible way around this decision, and nothing changed. I could have stayed, maintained my position, kept my great salary and benefits. No one was forcing me to do anything, in fact I was quite successful in my position and made a lot of money for the organization. I am sharing all of this to say that at the end of the day, you are the one who decides whether you can continue working with your manager or not, and you are the one who decides that giving up a great job is a better decision than continuing to work with a horrible manager. In my situation, I quickly realized that nothing was going to change and the Chief Operating Officer didn't care a bit... so to answer your question, my advice is to always leave gracefully. Type up a very professional and gracious resignation letter. State how much you have enjoyed the work and the friendships and the learning experiences. And leave it at that. Because at the end of the day, the company doesn't really care about your opinion. If they did, they would remedy the situation with your manager and that is not what is happening. In the meantime, you never want to leave on a sour note. You never know when an employer will call you back a year from now after the horrible manager has left or circumstances have changed

25. Kimberly YoungermanApril 11,2022 at 1:13PM UTC

    Seconded. Especially when it comes to anything in writing. Keep it clean and classy ?

26. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 1:17PM UTC

    I don't think it would matter. Just be professional & courteous and explain this role is no longer good for you & keep it moving. Trust, they NEVER care because they will just find someone else. You already won, leave with dignity and no burnt bridges.

27. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 1:19PM UTC

    As the saying goes, people quit bosses, not jobs. Your boss trying to explain why it's 'not her' probably isn't fooling anyone. If your employer does offer an exit interview (many seem not to even bother any more?) just make sure not to burn any bridges.

28. YazBApril 11,2022 at 1:20PM UTC

    Whether you feel the company cares or not, the HR department is supposed to be on point by noting/taking all complaints or praise into consideration . You may feel as though it does nothing but trust me, I've seen where the complaints pile up and that one manager who felt untouchable, gets the boot.

    I'd even suggest that if you'd like to stay, then complain now and make it a point to iterate that you are being caused mental anguish.

    Stand up for yourself as you are your own best advocate. If HR does nothing, a lawsuit could very well be in their near future!

29. Cindy LaceyApril 11,2022 at 1:33PM UTC

    I agree. It does eventually make a difference. It is a lot harder for them to terminate a manager so they need lots of evidence. It took years before they terminated my former manager. Be professional, but make sure that HR knows why you are leaving.

30. Iris JuergensApril 11,2022 at 1:21PM UTC

    This is difficult. You want to say what you’re feeling but down the road you might regret what will remain on your permanent record with the company. An unemotional professional departure is best for YOU. For example:

    I respectfully submit my resignation from my position _____., effective _____. (2weeks?)

    Thank you for the opportunity! My sincere wishes for (name of your company)continued success.

    Best,

    (signature)

31. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 1:26PM UTC

    You can be vague and say it’s not a good fit any longer and at your exit interview explain the details. Eventually HR will figure out one boss’s entire team quit and figure it out.

32. Michele Christine PardonApril 11,2022 at 1:39PM UTC

    I was let go from a job because of a multitude of factors.

    I hated her, and she hated me. Yet, she would always never cease to ask me, how we could improve systems to make things run more efficiently.

    Every freaking time I tried that, she shot me down. Oh, we tried that, that system didn't work for us.

    Really? It works for everyone else...

    I now am temping at another company where I do not know if it can become permanent or not. No one tells me anything and the agency I am with does not offer benefits until one year.

    I am spending thousands of dollars on Cobra because I am not eligible for medicaid or Obma care until Open Enrollment.

    So now, I am just interviewing at other places that are permanent jobs. I cant stay where I am when I don't know its future, and when I have been an EA for over twenty years, this is ridiculous. I am done with agencies who promise me things and never materialized.

    Oh, they decided to pass on you.

    Did they say why?

    No.

    Is it not the job of recruiters to ask why? And if the hiring manager declines to say so, then why not push them further? I can not continue to go on in Nomands Land. Any advice would be tremendously appreciated. I am so Over the temp thing. I am better than that.

33. MidwestMaven456April 11,2022 at 1:40PM UTC

    Doing nothing changes nothing. The old days of leaving and saying nothing because they would give you a bad reference haven't helped change things, have they? Management might think there is a problem but can't pinpoint it. The best thing is to be direct and tell them what the issues were.

    Be professional, be specific and give praise where due. Do tell them there were issues, but DO NOT BE MEAN, PETTY or SNARKY. "Mary does well with detailed work and follow-ups but tends to micro- manage. I prefer a more hands off approach." "Bob keeps everyone in the loop but tends to have too many meetings that help me be less productive."

34. Kelli ThompsonApril 11,2022 at 1:48PM UTC

    Go with the approach that your future self will be proud of looking back on.

    1) Stick to the facts you know for sure. 2) Communicate your decision in a way that aligns with your values. (What are three words that describe how you want to be seen in this convo?) 3) Say what is yours to say.
    Good luck!

35. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 1:53PM UTC

    About six months ago I turned for similar advice to the community and here’s what I did after all of their advise: I was leaving for a better opportunity but I didn’t want to pass the opportunity to give feedback about my very bad manager, so during the exit interview when they asked me about my relationship with her I said something along the lines of “We have very different working styles, but I learnt to work with her and learnt a lot in the process, but I that difference in styles was part of the reason I was open to new opportunities”. I don’t think it did any good, as my former coworkers tell me things are pretty much the same, but I felt good addressing her shortcomings and being polite.

    hope it helps

36. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 2:50PM UTC

    So your manager is bad bc you have diff working styles?

    you expect your manager to adapt to you?

37. Claire McCabeApril 11,2022 at 2:06PM UTC

    I think you should skip the exit interview, if possible. They serve no one. You are already on your way to another opportunity, and there is no incentive for you to be honest. It won't help you now (and may hinder) - so there's no point. Exit interviews are an old-school HR function leftover from the 50's and 60's. People usually can glean why you left without it being in your file.

38. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 2:08PM UTC

    My environment wasn’t healthy or collaborative.
    I believe they had to external because nobody like my manager internally. I lasted almost 4 years, quitting in March. They meaning HE knew what was going on. He wasn’t the only problem but a big part of it. I did give them input in my exit interview but they called me last week for more. That’s when I was very detailed about the input. They needed to know what was going on.

39. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 2:08PM UTC

    tell them why! My company recently moved a VP (too bad they didn't fire her!) after several key people left and told why in their exit interviews. Believe it or not, change CAN happen even if it's too late for you. You can make things better for those who come after you.

40. Dawn S. CrossApril 11,2022 at 2:21PM UTC

    Make it simple -

    To whom it may concern -

    Please accept this letter of resignation effective (date).

    I have found that the working environment while previously enjoyable and offered me many exciting challenges has changed over the last (time period manager has been there).

    Regards,

41. Diane McDevittApril 11,2022 at 2:24PM UTC

    Express the reason. Even if your HR rep isn't tracking or engaged enough to be looking at 'reasons'. Have you approached HR on issues with this boss in the past? If you haven't - they could be unaware that she is the problem. Especially if your departed colleagues took the low road and didn't call it out. You don't have to write it - ask for an exit interview in your resignation.

42. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 2:33PM UTC

    I think you should let them know why you're leaving. It often takes a lot to make change even in smaller institutions, particularly when it's a matter of a boss, but if you think it's worth it, express it. And be succinct and professional while you're at it.

43. Eva SteortzApril 11,2022 at 2:36PM UTC

    Toxic culture is the number one reason people leave a job. You owe it to yourself and your co workers to speak up. Stay fact based and constructively describe your work conditions and how you have deemed them intolerable. It matters!!!

    We all deserve a career we love. I will be cheering you on!

44. EMILY KIKUE FRANKApril 11,2022 at 3:10PM UTC

    It's often said that people don't leave jobs, they leave managers. I would say to make some notes for HR, and discuss these things with them. I don't recommend putting this info in your resignation letter because anything in writing has the potential to follow you. I also wouldn't advise leaving it all for an exit interview, because those are pretty useless. So make a meeting with HR (or your next-level manager) and give your points succinctly and with as much proof as possible. Chances are good that nothing will change, but you'll know you've done what you could.

45. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 3:36PM UTC

    When I left my last job I literally answered the question "why are you leaving [company]?" By saying "I am leaving a job I love because of [boss] and [boss's boss] and their complete lack of professionalism."

    I was the 5th person in 4 years in my role (and the only one to last over a year) and there was another position that was on its 7th person in 5 years. From what I'd heard from other employees, most people were vague in their exit interviews, so I opted to be blunt.

    They knew full well what the issues were and opted to pretend that "people just don't want to work these days" (that exact phrase was brought up in nearly every staff and department meeting *eyeroll*) so I wanted to make sure at least one time they had it irrefutably contradicted.

    From the people I've stayed in touch with, nothing has changed, but I'm comfortable with how I handled leaving.

46. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 3:41PM UTC

    Here's the thing: You won't always like the people you work for. As was (not-so) eloquently said to me once when I went to HR about a supervisor who did not like me because they did not like my boss (I didn't particularly either) and could not see us as 2 different people

    "Everybody has a boss, and not everyone likes them"

    Be reminded that wherever you go, there you are.

    Not liking your boss is not unique to a single workplace, and you may find yourself in a similar situation again. If you can get complete with that, you will likely be fine anywhere. If not, expect to see this pop up again and again.

47. Susan Heidi WolmanApril 11,2022 at 3:48PM UTC

    Be polite and write the standard glowing thank you for the opportunity letter. You never know where she is going to pop up again and you do not need an enemy.

48. Bradford McCormickApril 11,2022 at 4:00PM UTC

    My advice: Keep you opinions to yourself. Anything you say can be used against you. You are leaving for a once in a lifetime offer. You are leaving because you have to take care of your chronically sick, dying mother. Your husband is being transferred to Singapore.

    Any excuse that cannot possibly indicate anything is wrong with your current manager or place of employment. Repeat: Anything you say can be used against you and bad people to precisely that. I try to be scrupulously polite to people who do not deserve it.

49. Arlene Frances Gottardo (Bryak)April 11,2022 at 4:03PM UTC

    Just make sure you have another job to fall back on ( if you need to work for a living).

50. LeslieApril 11,2022 at 4:07PM UTC

    My advice: sharing your why is your boss won’t make a difference. Your boss doesn’t seem to have a high self awareness or EQ so giving her your thoughts won’t be valuable for you….never mind her.

    Focus on the opportunity for yourself and the ability to get ow your career with the new opportunity. Be gracious for what you have learned from your current leader- if nothing else , you learned the kind of skills you don’t want to display with your team.

    Take the personal high road. Wish her and the team the best, have a great transition plan to help make the remaining team as successful as possible. Leave on a high note. It’s not worth it to do anything less.

51. Bernadette M MartinezApril 11,2022 at 4:21PM UTC

    Let them know explicitly. Professionally, but explicitly. There are probably rumors and chatter but unless people actually make complaints or let the powers that be know exactly why things are tanking, no one is going to be able to do anything.

    "Due to the drastic change in the work environment as a direct result of [boss's name]'s policies and actions, I have decided to leave [company name]. I found the company culture, work environment, and my supervisors and coworkers to be a pleasure to work with in the past. It is very disheartening to see that longstanding feeling deteriorate so rapidly."

    I see a lot of comments here to not bother, nothing will change, and you never know when you'll need them and it makes me ver sad for people saying those things.

    Nothing changes when people stay silent.

    When will I need someone who is clearly not supportive of my career or me as a person anyway?

    People are too afraid to speak out against wrongdoings and toxicity for fear of "burning bridges" but never stop to think that they're not going to want to cross that bridge or associate with anyone on the other side again anyway.

    I'm not one for hiding the truth of the matter. And I have never in my 41 years needed (or wanted) a recommendation or reference from someone who was a reason for me leaving.

52. nobody cannot delete accountApril 11,2022 at 7:20PM UTC

    I could not agree with this more! I am not afraid to burn those rickety badly built bridges aka toxic managers. Silence does nobody any good. Move on and tell them exactly why you are leaving. They may not want to hear it now but it will be documented for the people that may want to hear it in the future. Managers have the ability to tarnish your record, its about time we have the ability to return the favor.

53. nobody cannot delete accountApril 11,2022 at 7:23PM UTC

    All of the advice to politely move on means that the same toxicity will continue. We need to speak up about this because it happens to every female in the workforce and I for one am growing tired of it. I will say that I do this running the risk of being blacklisted in my industry but nothing will change if we do not accept that risk.

54. nobody cannot delete accountApril 11,2022 at 7:24PM UTC

    And you can still politely leave and tell the truth!

55. Nancy CincottaApril 11,2022 at 4:44PM UTC

    Personally, I would spell out the specific policies laid out by said boss that are making you leave. I'm leaving because the ____ department cannot effectively meet its goals due to ____ policy, etc. Then say, " I'll leave it up to you to decide where those policies came from." You're not naming a person, just the affect he/she had on your job/dept. If HR doesn't add 2+2, then it's because they don't want to.

56. Debbie ShapiroApril 11,2022 at 4:58PM UTC

    Honestly, most places I've worked don't even have exit interviews anymore. They really just don't care.

57. Joanne RosenApril 11,2022 at 5:33PM UTC

    When I quit a job, I had originally spoken to my manager about the workload and how it was overwhelming for all 5 of us in the department. He said, Well, that's just the way it is. They won't give us another person.

    We were all taking our briefcases full of paperwork home every night to keep up.

    I gave my notice and then decided to talk to the area manager, just so he'd know. He was shocked. Asked why we weren't all putting in for overtime. Also, said that the manager had NEVER asked for another loans officer. He asked me to stay and would hire someone else, too.

    At that point, I'd had enough and I said no. However, he kept his word and hired 2 people to replace me. The rest of the team was so grateful. No one had dared press it before. I simply had nothing to lose.

    Chees

    Joanne

58. AnonymousApril 11,2022 at 6:06PM UTC

    Is there someone at a level above her that you can talk to? I left one position (in retail) entirely because of the manager. When I was still hoping to stay in the job, I arranged to meet with the the district manager (her boss) about the problems and issues that she was causing in the store. I felt listened to, told that HR would look into the matter, but it appeared that no changes were happening so I moved on. Six months later, the District Manager called to thank me for speaking up. Although it had taken a long time, they had removed the problematic manager. They needed to go through the appropriate steps, which took a while. I have always been happy that I spoke up, as it benefitted my many friends who continued to work there. (Although I know this has the possibility to backfire on someone who wants to remain in their position.)

59. tiffany birchApril 11,2022 at 6:08PM UTC

    I find documentation of a situation to be my best friend. It provides clarity after the fact. Much continued success.

60. Lisa Olson TillyApril 11,2022 at 8:29PM UTC

    Most times it won't make a difference, unfortuntaley, unless there is causable action (discrimination, etc.) HR knows about these people...

    I had a BFH. Almost was always travleing & constantly calling me to update her changes - that alone wouldn't be a big issues, but even after confirming the latest one, I was still wrong (never her for not updating me yet again.) After I was hired (from outside the company, my coworkers said I was her 5th admin in 4 years & they couldn't fill from within because of her reputation. She had been with the company for 25+ years & was kind of "tenured" in - they didn't want to fire her so close to her retirement. I toughed it out for almost 2 years with this she-devil & was bound & determined not to quit - she would NOT win!, I was better that that! Finally, the day came & was told to go to HR, where they gave me the news that they were eliminating my postion, not for cause. I let them know how difficult it had been working with her (and you could read it on their face "yes, we know...)and they said thank you for the input. Was walked to my desk, packed up my personal belongings, turned to the beast standing in her doorway watching me. I walked up to her, shook her hand and said "It's been a pleasure working with you, I wish you the best". HR said that was the classiest thing they had ever seen - and one of my proudest moments in a 40+ years of working.

    Be better than they are, hold yourself to your standards, not theirs

61. EnzaApril 11,2022 at 8:50PM UTC

    Hi Lisa! As I'm reading your story, I'm here in awe, because that's exactly what just happened to me in my last job. Extremely similar situation, and I had no choice but to quit the job I really like at the college I was working at, all because of this, as you mentioned, "this she-devil" I may be out of a job right now, but at least I left with my head high and just as you showed her I had much more class than her! We are better than that! Thanks for sharing your inspiring story!

62. Joanna PoeApril 12,2022 at 12:20AM UTC

    Irreconcilable differences of opinion is a perfectly cromulent reason to put in your resignation letter, but it probably won't make a difference; HR likely knows and doesn't have any leverage or legitimately doesn't care.

63. Audrey KirschApril 12,2022 at 1:00AM UTC

    Even if it won’t matter, speak up. If more speak up it might not change anything but it might. The company needs to know.

64. AyianApril 12,2022 at 10:38PM UTC

    Find their superior or their superior's superior. Go as high as you feel necessary to get someone's attention and explain it to them in business terms. They're losing productivity and wasting approximately 10-15k on training each new employee.

65. AnonymousApril 13,2022 at 1:11AM UTC

    DO they do exit interviews where you are? If not, I'd still recommend you talk with HR

66. Paula BrantnerApril 18,2022 at 3:39PM UTC

    I recommend documenting it to whoever needs to hear, whether it's someone above her in the hierarchy and/or HR. Do so very objectively, focusing on the facts. That way there will be a record, coupled with so many people leaving, that if someone wants to do something about it they can, or if they don't, at least those who have worked with her have done what they can to fix things and have moved on when they couldn't.

67. Liz MilneApril 20,2022 at 2:00AM UTC

    Methinks the lady doth protest too much, to be honest.

    Why does she need to say it's not her doing unless she's a) being overtly told it's because of her or b) she suspects that it's because of her? Don't tell her she's why you're leaving: tell her line manager or HR.

    If you tell her, my nasty suspicious mind thinks she'll just make something up to tell the rest of the team...

68. Pooja KathoteApril 20,2022 at 11:24AM UTC

    It does matter if you highlight it. HR person would definitely not want to hire repeatedly in every 3 months or 6 months for the same profile again because of the behaviour of any senior person.

    I feel first you should speak with your HR just so you can let her know your issue and then let him/her handle it. If you won't get any solution then you can proceed further with your resignation.

69. AnonymousApril 24,2022 at 4:30PM UTC

    You instinct is right, it doesn't really matter in the end. If they can't notice so many people keep leaving, you saying something may only bring harm to you