How common is it for your direct reports to sabotage you?

Anonymous

December 25,2022 at 2:46PM UTC

Welcome to Fairygodboss!

We’re the largest online career community helping women achieve their career goals. Gain access to articles, jobs, events, and a supportive network of women and allies. Membership is free, always.

How common is it for your direct reports to sabotage you?

I have recently experienced a terrible situation. I accepted a job leading a department, but one of my direct reports who actually wanted the job, started a campaign of lies against me - saying I’m a bad leader, etc. No specific examples given though. Strangely enough, others in the department won’t tell her to stop it, or stand up against her. It’s really a crazy situation. I feel like I am about to get fired for things that are completely untrue. I’m not sure to handle this situation. HR is of no help. They have worked with the person who wanted the job and like her.

Why women love us:

Daily articles on career topics
Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
Advice and support from an authentic community
Events that help you level up in your career
Free membership, always

49 comments

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

49 Comments

Join the conversation

AnonymousDecember 25,2022 at 3:54PM UTC
I have dealt with this one too many times. They will be one of three people: they will see your value and eventually stop, they will be bitter and eventually leave thinking they are sabotaging you, or they will stay and remain toxic and you may have to get rid of them.
the key to it all is documentation. All communication needs to be in writing. All verbal conversations will become followup emails. If you need to log YOUR JOB that you do and requests to them do that too. Meet with them to set out expectations and set them in writing. Come evaluation time, do NOT do the nice thing. Do the honest thing as that will help if they become person 3.
also start documenting processed they do in writing so you aren’t as sabotaged with a person 2 and just hope they become a person 1. Also note very rarely will someone for capacity to be 2-3 be a 1.
p.s. keep it business…the being overly friendly tactic will not work
AnonymousDecember 25,2022 at 4:22PM UTC
Thanks for your reply. The documentation/email route is not seeming to help. The active sabatour is now recruiting other people/her friends to complain to HR about my “leadership” - again no specifics provided. Someone came to me to tell me about this and say they think it’s gone too far, and with this proof I went to HR to say that the person should be fired for trying to instigate all of this. I was told I needed to get a coach because I am the leader and should be inspiring— it’s really incredible. I feel like I am in the twilight zone.
AnonymousDecember 25,2022 at 7:49PM UTC
It will not be in your best interest for you to remain there. Sharpen your resume and get out of there as quickly as you can.
Whitney N. WestDecember 25,2022 at 7:58PM UTC
Yea this environment seems toxic all around and with no support you won’t be happy. I would devise an exit plan
AnonymousDecember 25,2022 at 6:13PM UTC
I actually had upper management influence my DR to compliant
i left the company
there was no way out
AnonymousDecember 25,2022 at 6:30PM UTC
I've seen this go down and it's pretty ugly. Once they are successfully recruiting support from inside and outside (HR) the department or immediate work group, it's rarely going to end well for the target. Please start planning for an exit. If you get an offer elsewhere you can always decide the current situation is resolving and stay.
AnonymousDecember 25,2022 at 10:09PM UTC
Thanks for the reply. I wish I had known this kind of thing happens and is a way used by reports to oust people who don't want a new leader or any change. It is really affecting me because of all the hostility and lies. The agendas are so obvious but HR refuses to see it or be transparent and require those making the complaints to be specific and on the record.
AnonymousDecember 26,2022 at 12:01AM UTC
Doubt this helps much, but it happens, you aren't alone, and you aren't imagining what's going on.
AnonymousDecember 26,2022 at 12:24AM UTC
It does. I feel like I am in crazyland and I am starting to question myself.
AnonymousDecember 25,2022 at 10:48PM UTC
But this person did not get the job so don't hand it over to them out of fear or predicting your termination. If you do your job well why would gossip and rumors get you fired?
I would confront the situation head on. Write them up and if that doesn't stop it put them on a PIP
You need to lead not succumb.
AnonymousDecember 26,2022 at 12:23AM UTC
This isn't a question of doing my job well but about the perception of my leadership by reports. This is all "soft skills" and unfortunately only gets assessed based on the input of the people being led (my reports). That is what is incredibly upsetting about this. I've been clear about what I see happening to no avail. The people who want me out are the people who get to decide whether I'm a good leader - even if they are not being required to give any specifics. Without being allowed to fire the instigator (which HR isn't backing because they like her and she's been at the company for years) I am being told I need to fix this perception so my reports think my leadership is improving. I have never yelled or done anything like that. Instead I am being accused of being unfair because I may disagree with the position my report wants to take or if I provide a deadline (which is what I need to do as leader of the department). This is so bizarre - this is why I asked the question here whether other people have seen this occur to new leaders.
AnonymousDecember 26,2022 at 1:27PM UTC
If the leadership is choosing to ignore or choose not to see it and HR is then passively signing off on the behavior then your days will be numbered. Start your New Year with a job search.
Naomi RamageDecember 26,2022 at 8:53PM UTC
Have you asked your reports for anonymous and candid feedback on their perception and feelings about your leadership skills and style? If everything you’re hearing is secondhand retelling of what this person is saying, then it sounds like they either don’t believe her accusations themselves OR this person is being used as a mouthpiece for the whole department (most likely as a scapegoat or an advocate). Giving them
the opportunity to speak openly without fear of retaliation will be your best bet to understanding their perception. Once you understand where they’re coming from, you can work to change what you need to.
Wolfe KylesDecember 26,2022 at 1:48AM UTC
The documentation/email approach is not working. The active saboteur has enlisted the help of her associates in filing a formal complaint with Human Resources over my "leadership" — allegations which have so far been unsubstantiated. geometry dash subzero
AnonymousDecember 26,2022 at 2:31AM UTC
Was this a job in a new organization, or a new position in an organization where you have a good reputation?
I once had staff complain to my boss, but I had already complained to her boss about her, and I told her that I couldn't just quit due to mismanagement for financial reasons. I got a nice severance deal, my boss transferred the instigator to another unit, and the instigator simply showed up in the former unit and refused to acknowledge the transfer! So my boss learned who the real problem person was. And then my boss got fired.
As far as I'm concerned, everyone got what they deserved -- I got a pile of cash and everyone else got a big serving of humble pie.
AnonymousDecember 26,2022 at 4:09AM UTC
Job in new organization - I moved to this company as new head of group and the group I am managing has people who have worked together for years. We have been on zoom not in office due to pandemic and especially difficult to make headway on these dynamics when dealing with people who have worked together for years in person and appear to be friends.
AnonymousDecember 27,2022 at 6:58PM UTC
I used to work in government, where people came and went every year or two due to politics - literal politics. Group cohesion was difficult for the bosses, but it kept things going during the gaps in leadership. If they're not used to the boss staying more than a year or two, it will literally take years to get them to see you as a leader, probably only after a few big projects or crises get handled by you in a way they couldn't have done on their own. Otherwise, they'll just wait it out or try to run you out so there will be another 6-12 month gap with no boss and then another temporary boss they can run off and keep the cycle going.
Crystal HowellDecember 26,2022 at 6:12AM UTC
As a leader, show your strength. She didnt get the job, your skills are better.
Gossip has no place in the work office,it happens. You can pull her aside and tell her you will write her up for insubordinate behavior, ask her to prove her lies she tells and call her out. Take back your power, have 1 on 1 with your other direct reports so they can make up their own mind. Jealousy is among them
Barbara SearlesDecember 26,2022 at 2:07PM UTC
I had a difficult direct report in the government who didn’t want to follow my instructions and HR knew of his antics and gave me the phrase “you are being borderline insubordinate …”. So the treat was that is he continued he’d be disciplined. Worked and he eventually transferred out along with a few other disgruntled staff members.
AnonymousDecember 26,2022 at 10:16PM UTC
I will grant it's a feasible approach when HR is siding with you. Not so much when HR is declining to support the target, as in OP's case.
AnonymousDecember 26,2022 at 1:38PM UTC
I think this is situational. If the environment allows for the inmates to run the asylum then you don't have a prayer. It happens when there is no authority that sets expectations. It's like any place, the tone, objectives and unwritten rules of behavior are set and managed by a chain of command. In this particular case your subordinates make these decisions passively but they make them all the same. It's a strange dynamic but it seems that it's allowed at this company. Kind of like Lord of the Flies.
Mary PoolDecember 26,2022 at 1:44PM UTC
It sounds to me like you have not been able to build a rapport with your reports. You might want to work on that. I used to specialize in rebuilding broken departments. My very first step was to have a one-on-one meeting with everyone in the department and ask them directly what they liked and did not like about the department and what they wanted from a manager. It was a no-holds-barred meeting; they could say anything they wanted about anyone (including me) or the department or the company itself with absolutely no repercussions. This was a one-time offer. You would be amazed at how well this works. People want to be heard. At the end of the meeting, I gave my expectations, the most important of which would be that I would call out all gossip and backstabbing. My second thought is to document, document, document, and call it out every single time it happens. This will buy you time to find another job and/or help you negotiate a better severance package.
rgstaffing@bellsouth.netDecember 26,2022 at 2:15PM UTC
Brilliant.
AnonymousDecember 26,2022 at 2:32PM UTC
I did that already. I am doing everything I can it’s all happening behind behind my back and it’s being instigated by someone who wanted my job. Because she’s been there for so long, I don’t have the ability to terminate her. I would if I could. The situation seems irreparable. My question was really whether this is something that happens a lot or not with new leaders.
AnonymousDecember 26,2022 at 3:00PM UTC
Anytime there is a new leader, people test the waters. If a direct report didn’t get the job, there is bound to be resentment there. However, if you rush to termination, how would that look to others in your department; that if you can’t control a situation you just fire the person rather than look for ways to work through it? That certainly will not win you the trust and support of the rest if your team.
You have been given some good advice here. Unfortunately you need to swallow your pride and work to make an ally of this person - elevate her ideas when you can to show that you are not threatened by her or anyone. Praise where appropriate. Have one on one conversations with each of your directs, asking how they view the team, what they would change, and how they would like to make things better. Sometimes people fear speaking up in a large group so doing this individually can help. If there is tension between you and another, they all feel it and it likely affects them too.
Last, bring everyone together and say that you are determined to build a team and need everyone to help. Point out the troublemakers and say they will be an instrumental part of the new process you are building because they have been here longer and you are looking to them to help you lead the team in a new direction. Public spotlight on anticipated good behavior sometimes helps.
Good luck!
Dcre1977December 26,2022 at 2:11PM UTC
If she is recruiting others to her side then it sounds like she does have more leadership skills than you. You can spend time self reflecting on why people in your department do not respect you or you can spend time battling someone.
Do the employees agree this person should have gotten the job? What have you done to build rappirt with them?
AnonymousDecember 26,2022 at 2:43PM UTC
Hi, I’ve had team building activities. I’ve had department surveys. I’ve met one on one with individuals. The issue is there’s a person who is disgruntled and has an agenda because she didn’t get the job and is gossiping and making stuff up so people will sympathize. The issue I am running up against is people don’t know me. They know her. Why wouldn’t you believe someone you’ve worked with for years over someone you barely know? There are people who see what’s happening, and one came to me to explain - and I went to HR. But in general silent bystanders don’t get you very far and people are afraid to get in the middle of this. HR does not want to help because they’ve worked with this person and like her so I am left managing this and being told that I need to change but that’s an impossibility when you have someone who wants you to fail. That’s the dynamic.
Dcre1977December 26,2022 at 8:15PM UTC
Building a team is not a one time meeting or team building acitivity. It really just requires you to work with them regularly on work activities. Showing them respect will earn you respect.
Yes it harder to develop a relationship when you are the outsider. Just getting rid of one person will not solbe your problem if the already do not respect you.
PatriciaDecember 27,2022 at 2:18AM UTC
Team-building activities often fail to deliver results because you don't understand the individual interests and personalities of your team members - especially if they are already siding with the saboteur.
AnonymousDecember 27,2022 at 9:03PM UTC
Why are you so mean to the person and not helpful in both of your posts? It wasn't just one building activity, the person clearly stated activities? Also, it seems the person is looking for solutions, not more blame.
AnonymousDecember 27,2022 at 6:52PM UTC
I think you have to go right for the essential issue in a one-on-one with this person, and also show a willingness to follow disciplinary procedures to put a stop to what's happening.
I had an insubordinate that I inherited who thought he could do my job (despite not having the required master's degree). I finally had to tell him that I was hired for a reason, and apparently during the time he was on his own "running" the department, the higher ups weren't as happy about it as he thought they were. He was 100% a jerk for the whole 10 years I was stuck with him, but I did put a stop to the "I-can-do-your-job" BS.
AnonymousDecember 26,2022 at 9:27PM UTC
This is neither a helpful nor compassionate response.
AnonymousDecember 26,2022 at 11:09PM UTC
Where's a down vote button when you need it.
AnonymousDecember 27,2022 at 2:02PM UTC
Pretty sure sabotage and lying are not "leadership skills", at least not in my book. Way to blame the person dealing with the crap.
TomBooleyDecember 27,2022 at 2:35PM UTC
No, it sounds like the “recruiter” is a part of a clique.
AnonymousDecember 26,2022 at 7:13PM UTC
I personally have has this happen to me, and not just once but twice. It's called professional jealousy. So it's kind of a kill or be killed thing. If HR is going to do nothing you have to diligently document her behavior immediately to your work and personal email and then also openly HR. Keep track of times, witnesses and verbal and written conversations. It will be he// but you can get through this if you give her things to do that will stretch her or push her past her abilities. If this does not help within 30 days start looking for a new job because HR is aiding and abetting this stuff. Oh and I work in HR so I do know...
AnonymousDecember 26,2022 at 7:22PM UTC
Thank you for validating this happens -- really appreciated
AnonymousDecember 27,2022 at 6:49PM UTC
Also document attempts to resolve the situation! Merely creating a list of grievances does no good and can actually backfire. Being conflict-averse is a fatal flaw in a manager, so showing a willingness to have difficult conversations is important.
AnonymousDecember 26,2022 at 9:57PM UTC
Continue to document the behavior of the saboteur and report it. If the saboteur’s actions violate any aspect of company policy, point this out.
Conduct one on ones with the rest of your staff and build a team.
I’m shocked and dismayed that HR is ignoring the documentation that you have assembled. This is dysfunctional behavior.
Question: who hired you and could these person/s be enlisted as allies? Would senior management support you vis a vis HR or support your firing the saboteur?
If you believe that you are being discriminated against on the basis of gender (dubious, because you and your harasser are female), race, ethnicity, religion or sexual preference, by all means consult an employment lawyer. Unfortunately, the law provides no protection without a discriminatory element or unless you have an employment contract that is being violated.
Do plan an exit strategy, in the event that HR continues to support the saboteur. There is no shame in resigning from a toxic situation such as this one.
Melinda OneyDecember 27,2022 at 6:59AM UTC
Go on with your head up cause you no what’s really going down
TomBooleyDecember 27,2022 at 2:38PM UTC
I have been targeted before. My boss joined in with the bully. At the time it was devastating. I quit. Now, two years later, I feel like sending them thank you notes for getting me out of there.
AnonymousDecember 27,2022 at 3:57PM UTC
Thanks for sharing this! It does feel devastating.
AnonymousDecember 27,2022 at 5:33PM UTC
Undermining the person in authority, behind their back, happens, and regardless of how common it is or isn't (I haven't seen data on this myself), it is painful and damaging to everyone and everything. I experienced a culture of backstabbing, which, of course, I had no way to know was happening - took about 5 to 6 months to start piecing together why I was being so intensely scrutinized and micromanaged by my superiors. I had direct 1-on-1 and whole team conversations about being in this together, about the damage even well-intentioned sharing/gossip could do, and the positive impact trust has for everyone. Even that was turned around and my supervisors told me my "team" felt attacked. Two of the three team members actively undermining my leadership left their jobs (one around month 4 and the other around month 9 of my tenure) before I found out what was going on. Once I did I spoke directly with the remaining underminer, letting them know they were only creating a more difficult environment for everyone to meet goals. It didn't do much good. I found out that within a few months of my tenure, because of the "complaints" (of the staff member who left at 4 months), my supervisors had actually been calling my team and actively seeking negative information about me. What I began to understand was that the damage was done, for exactly the reasons you've stated - they were known and trusted, I was new. No matter how amazing my financial results and productivity were, no matter how stellar my new hires, no matter how measurably positive my impact was or how much my current team supported my leadership...cognitive dissonance is real, powerful, and was too much for my supervisors, who fired me at one year. My takeaways: it wasn't me. I did everything I could with integrity and professionalism, but if leadership fosters a culture of dysfunction/destruction then that's what will happen. Be true to yourself, be the consummate professional you are, do what you know is right, of course document and CYA with your own supervisors, but ultimately do what's best for yourself. It isn't worth the trauma.
AnonymousDecember 27,2022 at 9:19PM UTC
Thank you for your generosity in posting this. It truly helps. Sending healing wishes to you too.
AnonymousDecember 27,2022 at 7:58PM UTC
That person clearly didn’t get the job for a good reason.
I’m a master at documentation. Start documenting everything she says and does.
What does your leader say about this? HR will be of no help in general - I don’t go to them about much of anything unless it’s to report something that is physically or mentally unsafe for a person and it could jeopardize the company (because that’s what they care about)
How do your 1:1’s go with this person in general ? Are they a top performer or good performer?
I’d call them out for it, honestly, and get to the bottom of it. You can’t make anything better without understanding the issues.
also - you need to be the “grown up “in this situation and try to understand what’s going on. Try to make an ally of this person, somehow - even if by appearances. You don’t have to like them - but you do have to act like you do in the work place and not gossip about her to any others on the team . I had a very disgruntled employee who was 20 years my senior and made a big stink about all kinds of things. I spent way more time with her than most of the others when I first started and it paid off . Only my supervisors knew how I really felt about her and over time she softened up with me (and only me).
I gave her more responsibilities and she felt valued because of it. If you play the victim card and complain with out bringing solutions to the table and showing your efforts - you’ll look worse off than she does.
IntentionGirl299847December 27,2022 at 9:12PM UTC
It is called a hostile work environment as you are being subjugated to malicious gossip and slander in the workplace. Document document document. Times, places, quotes, and people involved. Gather your evidence and go from there.
AnonymousDecember 28,2022 at 3:37PM UTC
I had a situation like this once--except it was someone at my own level doing this, rather than a subordinate.
Ultimately, a person like this develops a bad reputation. Just keep everything documented, keep all emails, and make sure you CYA.
JJDecember 28,2022 at 9:02PM UTC
It’s time for a really, direct, really uncomfortable conversation. When I have calmly confronted bullies, they have backed down. Also document everything and forward it to HR.
AnonymousDecember 28,2022 at 9:32PM UTC
This company might be a fit. If speaking to the group and trying to turn this around, you find you can't then I would look for something new and move on.