Toxic work-environment. So defeated.

26 Comments

1. AnonymousDecember 17,2024 at 10:48PM UTC

   At what point will you give up? You've answered that question. Never ever. You want a "good job" note? Come on. This is just not that environment that builds confidence, that celebrates contribution. It simply will never be enough.

   Now it's time for you to find kudos and self-worth somewhere other than work. You need to get busy filling up your own cup.

   Continue working at the level you feel called to but don't look for your fulfillment from that work other than the knowledge you did your best.

   The reason you cry everyday is not the work or criticism or disregard. It's the empty feeling you get when not only does no one appreciate your work, you don't have enough other places in your life to feel your value.

   Don't let other people destroy your sense of worth. Guard that with your life.

2. AnonymousDecember 17,2024 at 11:13PM UTC

   I’m not sure I agree, I spend more time at work then anywhere else in life - this job takes my time away from my kids and family, things that “fill my cup” or whatever. But at the end of the day it shouldn’t feel like this and it shouldn’t have to and it doesn’t mean I have nothing else making me feel fulfilled or happy in my life. It means the thing I use to love doing, this place has destroyed.

3. AnonymousDecember 18,2024 at 1:16AM UTC

   No reason that this is it either. This will not be your only job or your last job. It's run its course. Nothing lasts forever and it shouldn't. So you need to make plans for your future. When things feel this bad, it's your sign that you are no longer where you need to be.

4. AnonymousDecember 18,2024 at 9:57PM UTC

   Great answer! I agree!

5. AnonymousDecember 19,2024 at 2:24PM UTC

   You are correct! She needs to fill her own cup.

6. AnonymousDecember 17,2024 at 11:34PM UTC

   It sounds like they are trying to push you out of your position? You need to address this under the Fair Work Act if there is one in your country and the Employment Act if there is one. Have all these incidences recorded in writing in an email. I would say you need a lawyer involved with this because it sounds like some serious bullying.

7. AnonymousDecember 19,2024 at 7:26PM UTC

   P.S. it sounds like you have a lot of potential for a better job, I do agree with these members telling you to start applying quietly. But it is your choice at the end. I would ask you this though, is wanting reassurance from your work so important that you are allowing yourself to be mentally beaten up by colleagues? It’s like wanting an apology from an abusive partner. And since you haven’t heard it from your boss - you have so much potential and you are doing an amazing job. Please know your self-worth. It shouldn’t come at the cost of your mental health.

8. AnonymousDecember 18,2024 at 9:59PM UTC

   This my dear reader means it's time to move on. No one should work themselves into a place they feel miserable and a place that has taken control of your emotions. That said, brush up the resume, look for another position, have confidence there are other companies and organizations that value their people and put forth that effort as a company culture. Seek that in your next journey. Don't fret, this job shouldn't take your time away from the people you love. It's not worth it. Spend your after hours time loving on your family and getting your resume out there for other companies who would appreciate you.

9. Sue BaldockDecember 19,2024 at 2:33PM UTC

   In my experience, this is a group of people who are trying to get you to quit. About 15 years ago, I worked for a toxic company like this; I was told to put pressure on a fellow employee such that she would voluntarily quit and they would not have to pay unemployment. She wasn't doing anything wrong, but she questioned things and that wasn't appreciated. (She eventually quit and I had nothing to do with it. I actually told her what they wanted me to do and how I wasn't going to do it.) I also have been treated like that and I rode it out so that they'd HAVE to pay me unemployment. Your choice - how much are you willing to withstand? PS - I'm on your side.

10. AnonymousDecember 19,2024 at 2:35PM UTC

    Oh stop torturing yourself and everyone around you. GAD. You’re so busy trying to please everyone, and judging them when they don’t give you what you want you’re making a mess of everything Toxic work environments are not illegal. They are here to stay. Learn how to be the one that can transmute the toxicity into productivity. Set boundaries and stick to them. Working hours are the most impressive and important ones to set. Start there. You are only available at certain hours and make sure your boss agrees. Don’t go in all smarmy and apologetic. You are not a slave you are an employee. Your work ethic makes it hard on everyone else because it’s actually not ethical. People are picking on you because they can. You’ll see in these cultures there’s always someone that’s getting bullied criticized abused. Stop allowing it to be you, wake up and learn how to navigate this without making a big stand and shooting yourself in the foot. You also should contemplate taking some time off to regenerate and come back the new strong you. Good luck!!

11. RobinDecember 22,2024 at 3:43PM UTC

    i realize you meant this as advice, but it was condemnation. You and people who think like you are the reason these toxic workplaces exist. You will not do anything to solve the problem, just accept it and tell others to do the same.

12. AnonymousDecember 19,2024 at 3:11PM UTC

    I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this—it sounds absolutely exhausting and demoralizing. No one should feel this way at work, especially when they’re clearly going above and beyond like you are. Here’s what I’d suggest:

    Protect Your Time and Energy-

    You’re giving so much of yourself to a job that doesn’t seem to appreciate your efforts. It’s time to scale back and set boundaries. Work your regular hours and focus on doing the job well without overextending yourself. Your mental health and time with your kids are more important than impressing people who aren’t giving you the recognition you deserve.

    Document Everything-

    Start keeping a record of the feedback you’re getting—both the criticisms and the contradictory messages (e.g., “shut up and do your job” vs. “you’re not collaborating enough”). If this ever needs to go to HR or you decide to negotiate an exit, having these details will help.

    Look for Allies-

    Is there anyone at work who’s supportive or could help you navigate this? Even having one person who can validate your experience or advocate for you can make a difference.

    Plan Your Exit-

    It’s hard to job hunt when you’re burned out, but it’s worth starting the process. Polish your resume, reconnect with your network, and begin exploring opportunities. Knowing there’s a light at the end of the tunnel can help you get through the tough days.

    Take Care of Yourself-

    You’re crying daily and under constant stress, which is a big red flag. Please make time for yourself, whether that’s seeing a therapist, venting to a trusted friend, or doing something that brings you peace.

    Know Your Worth-

    You launched an entire platform in less than a month while keeping other projects moving—that’s incredible. The problem here isn’t you; it’s the toxic culture. There are companies out there that will value and respect what you bring to the table. You’re stronger than you realize, and you will find a better situation!

13. maria roseDecember 19,2024 at 3:39PM UTC

    Question, since you must have some reason ( assume financial) for remaining in a job that you describe as making you so unhappy, etc, why have you not been looking for another job, with the effort you are putting into making complaints about your job? At least, be applying for a job for every time you get those negative feedbacks, think of it as your personal feedback upbeat to the negative. You are never going to change anything about your current workplace situation so your only option is to find a different job that will meet your expectations of the perfect job workplace. Here’s hoping that you have figured out what you want from an employer and what working conditions you want to perform your job without feeling negatively treated. And the best way to do this is to acknowledge your own limitations—you need constant validation, you need constant praise, you needs constant encouragement, you need explanation on why you doing a certain task is important, you need this all the time. You may have to compromise some of this constant feedback if you also expect a high salary compensation because most jobs expect their employees to produce efficiency even from day one of employment even if you think that they are “mentoring “ your progress. You need to accept that you will get negative feedback but you are supposed to learn from that feedback on how to improve instead of dwelling on feeling put down as it seems you can do the work but not in the efficient manner expected by your employer. You need to understand that you are not the controlling decision for how job tasks are performed but your employer. You’re capable of doing the job , you just don’t know it, because you don’t like being pressured to do it. Figure that out

14. AnonymousDecember 20,2024 at 1:36PM UTC

    Huh?

15. AnonymousDecember 22,2024 at 1:26PM UTC

    Awful advice. You literally placed the blame at the OP. You must be one of their co-workers OR your behavior mirrors theirs and you see no wrong in their bad behavior. If it’s neither, I wish you never have to experience what OP is going through but sadly if you do, remember your own words. By the way, sometimes it’s best to say nothing at all and keep scrolling. Comments like yours aren’t helpful but harmful.

16. RobinDecember 22,2024 at 3:40PM UTC

    You are just the type she is describing. This is the worst advice and most demeaning post I have yet to read here on FGB.

17. maria roseDecember 26,2024 at 5:19PM UTC

    And your response is not even remotely helpful for the OP of this post. I gather that you have the impression that I am unsympathetic to the situation and my response is cold and one-sided but the OP is not going to walk out the door of this current employment despite all the negativity that they feel because they need that paycheck. I agree that they are not in the preferred workplace environment as desired but part of their unhappiness stems from their own personal attitude to dealing with others in that they feel undervalued by their perception despite being given an evaluation of their own performance. I don’t think the employer finds the OP’s work performance problematic to fire them but the OP wants more praise and recognition—a byproduct of the giving Stars for everything in the development stages of learning—the OP needs to realize that they are not the star of the job but a functioning paid member of the team and if they don’t like that kind of job then their only option is to find employment elsewhere where they may get both paid adequately and praised excessively for being there. Or stop demanding that others be the means to high self esteem and become comfortable with themselves especially if you need that paycheck.

18. GirlBossanova934974December 20,2024 at 2:00PM UTC

    Wow! This sounds like a place I used to work back 20 or so years ago. My place of business was worse. This company of of yours has gone out of its way to promote every combative confrontational manager they could find! If you aren't a world class jerk, they're not going to promote you! I would stop worrying about the tough job market and get my resume out there ASAP! Why put up with a collection of 3rd rate bullies each and every day?

19. AnonymousDecember 20,2024 at 6:04PM UTC

    Strong suggestion. Take control! Make it your New Years resolution to do just that. Make every day about your job satisfaction and keep a journal of the comments you hear and only work the 40 hours per week you need to. Take breaks 2x during the work day and be sure to really lunch when you are taking lunch. From now forward only communicate in writing to those who are negatively commenting. Let them know that you are find to take constructive correction but that shaming you or negative commentary will no longer be tolerated by you. Ask for them to treat you as you continue to treat them with respect and professional dignity. Take nothing less. If you cannot get them to take notice of their poor behavior start saying hostile workplace and consider making an EEO complaint. If the company has an EAP use the counseling sessions to get your mojo back. You could ask them to package you out instead of your filing a claim against them but if your industry is in a slump this may be hard for your job search. Keep looking for something new and when asked say misalignment with company culture and direction, nothing more. Chin up! You can make this work in your favor if you be yourself and not let them get under your skin.

20. AnonymousDecember 21,2024 at 4:07PM UTC

    Sorry to read this. I have been in a similar situation 2 years ago, where I was wondering how long I am going to take it. You write:"I cry almost daily from the constant stress and negativity." You have difficulties to handle this situation (exactly like me) and this suffering is going to destroy your mental health. As I said, I was in your shoes.

    Is it worth it to suffer so much for a job? Does it have to be that hard.

    Your mental health and wellbeing are the most important in order to keep going when it comes to your career.

    You write that you have children so you are going to work many years. I am afraid that this place is going to impact your health very negatively causing a burnout or other issues like anxiety and depression. In short term your current job seems very important for your life. But in long term this not a job you want to stay in. So update your resume and start searching a new job as long as you can.

21. AnonymousDecember 21,2024 at 4:55PM UTC

    We all need rest. We all need a break. Take a vacation and start looking. It is easier to find a new position when you already have one. If asked why you are leaving, I would not be negative but something along the lines of its time for a change, better environment for family or something like that.

22. Wendy P.December 21,2024 at 5:02PM UTC

    Entirely the best direction and option at this point

23. Zuleika CuevasDecember 21,2024 at 5:23PM UTC

    Please understand it is not you!!! The only thing you can control is YOU. Start networking now to find what you deserve.

24. AnonymousDecember 30,2024 at 2:36PM UTC

    Do you have an ethics hotline managed by an outside company? If so, use it. We had a similar situation at our company - complaints and contacting HR did nothing. Someone (oh how I wish it had been me to think of this) called and made a complaint. It is called a hostile work environment. There was an investigation and HR was not in charge. That very high and mighty employee is no longer with our company. No, I was not the one feeling the full brunt of the behavior.

    At the very least contact you EEOC office and speak with them.

25. AnonymousJanuary 2,2025 at 6:32AM UTC

    Start planning your exit strategy and take a lot of breaks throughout your day in order to cope. Can you cut expenses for a few months to beef up your emergency fund? Apply, apply, apply elsewhere. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like your situation will improve much.

    Seeing a finish line, even if it's a few months away is incredibly helpful.

    Good luck for a speedy change in your day-to-day.

26. AnonymousJanuary 5,2026 at 2:28AM UTC
    Reading this work story hurt because it’s way too relatable. What you’re describing isn’t weakness, it’s burnout from mixed signals and toxic leadership. I’m in India and I’ve seen people get crushed like this while being top performers. You’re not crazy for wanting relief. When my stress peaked, I needed something that felt controllable, not another place judging me. I found myself reading bet365 registration and verification in India for the Aviator game. Weirdly, having something structured and rule-based reminded me I’m not powerless everywhere.