Good morning,

Good morning,

I’m seeking some advice about a job offer I received. I’ve been unemployed since February, and yesterday I was offered what seems like a dream job. It comes with a significant salary increase, an excellent 401K, and two yearly bonuses. However, during the interview, the hiring manager mentioned that six people have held the position over the past six years, and only one stayed long-term (she was promoted). This raised some red flags for me, so I asked why he thought others didn’t work out. He mentioned one employee was young and lacked a strong work ethic.

The manager himself seems great—down to earth and open to hybrid work—but I’m still feeling uncertain. My last job was a difficult experience. Key responsibilities, like accounting which I have minimal experience, were not disclosed prior to my start date, even though they ended up being 90% of the role. After nine months, I was laid off, and I’m now dealing with anxiety and PTSD from that situation. My concern is that I’ll end up in a similar position again, and I don’t want to be the next person who doesn’t work out.

My husband suggested I reach out to the hiring manager to discuss these concerns. I want to ensure this position is a good fit before accepting, but I’m unsure how to approach the conversation.

Any advice on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you in advance.

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35 Comments

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  1. Danielle Cunningham

    I completely understand your hesitance with accepting the offer. But I say go for it! The company I recently joined has had a good amount of turnover but for various reasons. If I let that deter me, I wouldn't have found out that I'm working with an amazing boss and awesome group! You never know... Also, if the hiring manager is down to earth and willing to support you and give you the time to learn things, then you should be fine no matter what they throw at you! I

  2. Anonymous

    Ask if you can talk to some of your potential colleagues at the company to get their POV.

  3. Anonymous

    If I was out of work for that long I would take this offer for purely financial reasons but everyone is different. It definitely could have been the others were not a fit, remember 1 was promoted. Maybe it’s perfect for You, you won’t know until you try it. Plus things change- I took a “dream job”- 2 months in my boss was terminated, replaced by a horrible leader & the experience went downhill and the stress wasn’t worth the big salary- lots of things you can’t control but it sounds like a good offer.

  4. CMT

    I would go into the job with a short-term plan as well. I would take it on a trial basis in my mind. I wouldn’t say anything to the manager. I would just take it and see how it goes.

  5. Anonymous

    It could be the hiring manager is down to earth which could equate to hands off, no structure, not available, lais·sez-faire attitude. I would be cautious but on the other hand, what does your gut tell you? Go sit somewhere if you can in silence and block noise. Sometimes the answer will just pop up when our mind relaxes. Honestly, there were no red flags during the interview process in my current role, but boy I learned fast (within 2 weeks) it was a messed up place. Guess what? I'm STILL here! It's really all about do you like it, are the benefits good? Are you tolerable of people there? Lots of variables that make our jobs bearable. High turn over is here, but I know why. It doesn't really affect me or my job. But it does affect the area the turn over occurs. You can always try to find those on LinkedIn that worked there and ask them their thoughts. A red flag situation I did not ignore... I had to renege on an offer because I got a call from someone the same day I took the offer who had quit (she got word from a colleague I took it, got my cell # and called me), they were not paying people, and the person sued and won. She was nice enough to warn me and share her story. I wasn't a fan of the company (the biz industry I was in was small) and I was only taking it for the money. But that situation was more of the extreme. Do keep us posted and I wish you all the best!

  6. CMT

    I agree Trust your gut!

  7. Anonymous

    Discuss your concerns from a point of "performance " anxiety. List your issues very clearly like:

    1. I don't want to let the company down like the past hires. 2. I'm afraid that I can't handle the lack of xyz3. Is there a way we can address xyz at the start of my training? "I am really excited about the offer and feel grateful for the great fit, but want to make sure I am set up for success."

    If you can't articulate what you need to at least try the job out, I would suggest you get some help as you are not in a healthy headspace and any job is going to add to your anxiety.

  8. Dawn Cross

    This^^. So much this!

    Dont be afraid to ask questions - why did the last 2 or 3 people leave? Were they not a good fit for what you required? Ask for written requirements so you have that in your back pocket as well - but be open to learning more.

    Feeling concerned about what happened to you at your prior company is actually a good thing. It makes you see the bigger picture, not that it is all roses.

    Good luck!

  9. Anonymous

    Don't discuss your concerns with the hiring manager. I don't think that will be perceived well. Except maybe to say that you don't want that to happen to you,, you're in it for the long run, and how can you work together to ensure success for you and your hiring manager?

    Take the job and you have 1-2 years to see how it panes out. Sock away the $$ and bring your best to the role. It's 1-2 more years being employed and that's better than unemployment. Congrats! It's a tough market so be proud of yourself for getting a super offer!

  10. Anonymous

    Respectfully I think she has every right to raise these concerns to the hiring manager especially since they were transparent enough to share these details. The company is interviewing just as much as the employee.

    Asking questions such as "why do u think that is?" And what would/could have been done different to avoid this outcome? Are all valid along with the employee trying to research on their own sites as glassdoor and even searching the position on LinkedIn to try to contact the previous employees themselves.

  11. LINDA E GARDNER

    Completely agree with this response and direction. Take the job, give it a try, put your doubts and fears aside! Maybe they just needed the right person which is you!

  12. Sue Gordon- retired Career Coach

    I understand where your anxiety is coming from; however you've been unemployed for7 months and this "seems like a dream job" to you. If you raise your concerns to the manager, it WILL raise concerns for him. You would be opening up your baggage for him to see. He is not your former employer; he didn't evade your question on why others didn't work out, he provided a reasonable answer for at least one of the people who left. My concern is if you hesitate and show your concerns, he may well rescind the offer because you raised red flags for him.

    It is scary, and maybe you will jump into a not-great-situation, but if that's the case then take the salary while you continue to look for a better fit. Unless you don't really need to work and can afford to wait for seeming perfection (always elusive, by the way).

    Good luck, and remember we can never be sure what any job will be like until we are in the position.

  13. Anonymous

    The lack of a “strong work ethic” comment concerns me. That phrase usually means overwork and under valued.

    I agree with others that it might be too late to bring any follow up questions to the hiring manager. Perhaps there is some online research, Glassdoor for example, that can help you get a sense of the culture.

    Having been in a toxic work environment myself, I understand your reluctance. However, early in my career I took a high turnover job, made it my own, and was very successful. It simply could be the people that were in the role prior didn’t “get it.”

    My pragmatic advice is to base your decision on whether to move forward on your financial ability to continue to not be employed. If you need a job, accept it and proceed with caution. Ask for support/training when you need it. Make an agreement with your partner regarding under what circumstances you can leave without another job. And keep looking just in case.

    if you can financially manage without a job for a while longer- ask the questions to give yourself peace of mind, knowing that they may revoke the offer.

    And consider therapy for your work trauma. I waited far too long to address mine. But once I did, it was a game changer for me.

  14. Anonymous

    Interesting perspective. It never occurred to me that lack of

    work ethic could be code for someone who didn’t want to kill themselves for the job.

  15. Anonymous

    She's being honest. He's been very forthcoming with her.

  16. Anonymous

    I think you do need a follow up call with the HM. Let him know at the start of the call that you are super excited to be joining his team. Don't drag your old baggage into the conversation. Start fresh! Ask him if you can get from him a short list of his expectations for the first 30-60-90 days, either verbally or in writing. Ask about the onboarding program. Ask him how he likes to communicate - phone, text, slack, email. Ask him about how often you will meet for 1-1's and what format he likes to do them in. I would also suggest that you do these weekly until you pass 90 days, and then taper off if they are not necessary. Be sure that you let him know how you take feedback and corrective action. Let him know how you like to get guidance and based upon how he communicates how you like to get work tasked to you. I would act as if you are already in the job but remain completely excited and positive because if you go into this in any way shaky or afraid he could pull the offer.

    IMHO if it were me I would do this in the first week perhaps within the first few days after orientation.

    Congratulations on the new position. Definitely take a week before you start to clear the old debris out of your brain and go in with a new attitude. Other's failure is not your success! You got this sister!

  17. GirlBossanova934974

    You should discuss your duties and tasks for the new job with the hiring manager right away. Daily tasks, weekly tasks, special projects. This should have happened by now. The world is full of fancy flowery job specs written by HR Departments with no real ties to what the Hiring Manager REALLY wants and needs. I had something like that happen to me around 2 weeks ago. After 4 Zoom calls, I met with the Hiring Manager in person. TURNS OUT that a good 50% plus of the job spec was nonsense. The Hiring Manager didn't care about any of that stuff. He just wanted a report writing GOPHER. There was a HUGE DISCONNECT between him, IT and the working groups in the company..........Too much OFFICE POLITICS going on there.

  18. Anonymous

    Hmm...What's the big dilemma here? You already got the best advice from your husband - Why do you now seek more validation from strangers? Whatever will be, will be - Either you want the job or you don't.

  19. Anonymous

    Remember “Who Wants to be a Millionaire”? The OP has input on WHAT to do from the expert, her husband. The OP is asking HOW to do this by polling the audience. IMO a wise approach.

    Way to go OP. Good luck!

  20. Anonymous

    Take the job and if you don’t like it start applying elsewhere. You’ll get paid while job hunting and it’s much more attractive to prospective employers if you are employed

    Good luck!

  21. Anonymous

    I think that you have to analyze the skills where you have experience. From that point you will apply your knowledge to improve the skills that you have to connect them with the ones that you want to improve.

    Good luck.

  22. Anonymous

    I think it’s logical to infer that this is not the best place to work with such a high turnover. I also think the hiring manager is on their best behavior with you. You’ve been unemployed since Feb. There is no correct answer. I think you should trust your gut, if you take the job know it will be a suboptimal at best. Most jobs are not dream jobs.

  23. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition Specialist

    So given your experience at your previous company, what has the interview process looked like so far? Have you been asking specific questions to drill down on what the day to day of this job is? On what the specific responsibilities are? On what your manager's management style is? Whatever questions you need to get clarification on your concerns?

    When you were interviewing with your previous company did you do that or did they pull a switcheroo on you? Was it just you that was laid off or were other people laid off?

    There is no job security anymore - no matter what you do nor how good you are at your job. I would not let the fear of that influence the decision - unless it was a concern because the company was poorly run. Tons of people have been laid off in the last two years through no fault of their own. You're not alone in that boat.

    I also wouldn't necessarily let the high turn over influence your decision. Yes, it can be a red flag sometimes but think of all the posts we read on here of all the awful co-workers community members have to interact with every day - maybe those were the folks that turned over.

    You can never really know if a job is going to be a great fit until you start working there - you do your due diligence, ask all the questions and then jump off the high diving board.

    GOOD LUCK!!!

  24. Todd

    “ He mentioned one employee was young and lacked a strong work ethic.”

    Wow, does this sound familiar. The owner/manager at my “dream job” gave me the same line when I was concerned about nobody having worked out in the position before. Turned out she had no idea how to manage (or no intention of doing so) and simply hired people without having any idea what they were supposed to do on the job. Despite my having an exemplary work ethic, within 14 months I was let go. Explanation: “We don’t need that position any more.” Be careful.

  25. LORI-ANN BURLINGAME

    With this kind of turnover, something is going on that the company may not be sharing with you. If the hiring manager is not open to discussing this in more details, you may want to look elsewhere.

    Empower yourself and ask questions! Unfortunately, company's are not always honest. If they are treating you this way as an applicant, how will they treat you as a employee?

    Best of luck.

  26. Rosa Goes

    Just be honest. Let the manager know that it is a great offer and you are excited to work at the company but you are concerned with the fact that six people have held the position over the past six years. So you would like to know what are the expectations of the position. Don't accept the offer until you are clear what you are getting into. Good luck to you!

  27. Anonymous

    Having an open conversation with your boss while indicating your willingness to accept the offer, seems to be the appropriate option.

  28. Laurie Swanson

    Curious what a strong work ethic looks like?

  29. Lindsey Osterhout

    People that have one don’t need to ask this.

  30. Sharmil McKee

    Reach out to the people who held the job previously. They will give you the inside scoop. You can find them on LinkedIn. Or find people who have worked under this manager before. I think your concerns are legitimate. GL.

  31. Anonymous

    I’m not sure of what your current circumstances are, but an option would be take the job, save a lot during the process, and network and look for other jobs to cover yourself in a worst case scenario. If your husband supports you and you being out of a job is not causing a lot of stress on your household then I think you have the upper hand to be picky. On the contrary, if that’s not the case, I highly encourage getting into survival mode and taking my recommendation.

  32. Anonymous

    I understand your anxiety entirely. You want to be cautious- no doubt. I think I would pursue what new employee orientation looks like- ask about this? Ask about probationary periods, support (personal and tech), etc. Is the orientation period well organized, or are you sent out on your own to "figure it out"? The answers to these questions might be telling. There is nothign wrong with being honest and saying you would like to know "more" due to the hiring manager's comment that 6 prior employees left in the first year.

  33. Anonymous

    I agree with others. Go with your gut. Do NOT use past experiences as a teacher.

    I took a job where there were 4 people that didn't work out within the past YEAR. I looked at the HM strange when he told me that. I asked why and he replied "they said it was too much to learn". I told him (and his manager as it was a group interview). that "they obviously weren't as hard headed as I was and determined to prove I can do anything I set my mind to"

    I was responsible for pretty much everything in a large warehouse. (cycle counting, picks, deliveries, receiving, etc.) I had absolutely no experience. Later that year we had a big layoff. I survived. 5 years later and I was promoted to the supervisor of the warehouse.

    If you take the position and if you go in feeling defeated, you will stay defeated. Go in and show them what you have! I am off the last 2 weeks of the year as we close down at work. There is NO WAY I could handle being at home. I would take it just for the adult interaction and the money.

    The choice is yours. I hope you take it and it is the best decision you ever make!

  34. Anita Tek

    I recommend going on Glassdoor to look at their company reviews and looking at other employees' tenures on LinkedIn to get an idea on retention rate.

    Also, if you decide to take this position, I recommend coming up with a self-care plan to maintain your mental health.

  35. Anonymous

    I agree with your husband's suggestion to reach out to hiring manager and discuss your concerns. Try to find out what was really going on there and what caused other employees to leave that job.

    Then it's important to stress what are your expectations when it comes to this role and what you will need to able to perform at your best.

    You don't have to discuss your previous experiences with him. These experiences can help you to prepare for this conversation because now you know what you need at workplace and what you don't.

    By the way, I hope that you are in treatment regarding PTSD, otherwise the symptoms can come to the surface in your new role and jeopardise your relationships at work as well as your performance.

    Good luck!

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