I hate my new job and want to quit after 1 month!

Anonymous

October 29,2022 at 2:21AM UTC

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I hate my new job and want to quit after 1 month!

Help! I am looking for any suggestions, tips, and advice for coping or leaving a position after one month. I work in non profit association management. I left a high level position after five years because it was a toxic work environment. I took a much lower paying position in an association management company because it seemed nice and I was hoping it would be a better fit. It is even worse than the last job. My mental health is suffering.

I was hired with a subordinate that reports to me. My supervisor is training us both. My subordinate is half my age and is catching on quickly to all of the company software systems, membership database, project management, payroll system, web pass word manager (and more), it is taking me longer, but I am trying. My subordinate is always having meetings, phone calls and “instant messages” with my boss behind my back. While that bothers me, I assumed it was because we started on the same day and I don’t know everything about even my own job yet.

There are other things I do not like about the job, I am very uncomfortable with the company culture and really don’t fit in. They stress that the company is a big “family” and believe in lots of social interaction, games, activities and daily interactions. I am a bit older than most of them and I don’t mind socializing at work, but I have a family and need to finish work during working hours.

Today my supervisor gave me a lecture and said that I need to learn more quickly, like my subordinate. Also she told me that I need to step up and direct my subordinate better. Earlier in the week she told my me interaction with my subordinate was too harsh and that I make everything “about me”. She is giving me lots of mixed messages and even though I tried to explain that my learning curve is taking longer ( it has only been a month after all). She also said I am too quiet and need to take steps to be more visible.

l feel like I will never be what they are looking for and I want to quit. I only see more of the same coming, and perhaps I will even be let go.

I am fearful that it will be hard to find another job, if I leave after only 1 month. I am very miserable and can’t function well outside of work.

What should I do?

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Maria MolinariOctober 29,2022 at 3:21AM UTC
I am so sorry you’re going through this.
it’s tough when you’re at a new job, learning new things and feeling like you’re not the superstar you once were at your previous position.
If you want my honest opinion it would be two things.
one: make a list of pros and cons of the job and one of the questions I would ask myself would be something along the lines of if I am willing to put in the work to “fit in”.
the second piece of advice would be to reach out, research, watch videos etc to learn the system’s . Someone, somewhere is willing to help or give advice and google is amazing when it comes to how to videos.
I would love to talk or help further if you’d like as well so feel free to message me!
AnonymousOctober 30,2022 at 2:40PM UTC
Good advice, thanks very much. I made the list and determined I need to leave, however I really need a job now so I will try my best to learn all I can ( using videos and other resources) . I appreciate your information and support. As you can tell I had a few challenges in regards to my career the last few months.
Maria MolinariOctober 30,2022 at 3:13PM UTC
I wish you the BEST of luck!
If you need anything, I am a message away :)
Bonny FilandrinoOctober 31,2022 at 6:43PM UTC
And you can get a contract job while you search. It will minimize your anxiety and allow you to not worry while you search. Good luck!
Doris AppelbaumNovember 1,2022 at 6:55PM UTC
Get a contract job while you search. It will minimize your anxiety and allow you to not worry while you search. It will keep you busy and able to pay bills.
AnonymousOctober 30,2022 at 1:29PM UTC
Your subordinate senses these deficits in your onboarding and is getting this reinforcement from your supervisor. And now your supervisor is speaking to you about learning software and procedures…and constructively coaching you on interactions with your direct report? To an outsider reading your post…the writing is on the wall. Plus, the direct report sees an opportunity to move into your role if you leave.
Frankly, I also get the sense that you’ve already thrown the towel in on this position which is totally ok! If that’s indeed the case, start aggressively looking for a new position and end this suffering. Best of luck.
AnonymousOctober 30,2022 at 2:37PM UTC
Thanks that is good advice, I appreciate an outside view that reinforced what I already know. I hope I can find something else soon.
AnonymousOctober 30,2022 at 2:48PM UTC
get out while you can.. tell them this isn't a good fit and you know it, they should find someone else.
AnonymousOctober 31,2022 at 2:48PM UTC
I'm in the same boat. Your situation is exactly what I'm going through. I decided I'm going to start looking for a new job, and in the mean time learn new skills. I've been using LinkedIn learning and Coursera. It's better to leave now than have a huge gap in your resume. Good luck with whatever decision you decide.
AnonymousNovember 2,2022 at 7:22PM UTC
Good advice and thanks for letting me know I am not alone. I decided to leave as soon as I am either in a better financial situation or I get a new job. Either way looking at the situation as “temporary” has helped a great deal. Good luck to you in your search too!
AnonymousOctober 31,2022 at 3:35PM UTC
It sounds like the writing is on the wall for you here.
Considering you have spoken with your boss, you should make a decision and commit to it - it will take the mental and emotional load off your plate. No job is worth your health.
I was in a very similar boat to you in some ways - I left a toxic job at a big name corporate company and took a sabbatical. A year later, I went to work for a smaller company that was supposed to have more “balance” (albeit I had a large team of direct reports - I was told I’d have 4 and they ended up giving me 15) and it was totally the opposite. I searched and searched to find this “amazing” role. Two months in, I knew it wasn’t right for me, but I stuck it out for 4 months. I had a come to Jesus with my boss at 3 months, listed out all of my responsibilities and what needed to change and why. Nothing changed. I left. It was affecting my mental health and life outside of work.
IF you can afford to leave without a job lined up, I highly recommend doing so. A clear conscience works wonders in finding what you really want.
Take care of yourself first. There are always jobs out there.
AnonymousOctober 31,2022 at 5:59PM UTC
No job, whether it's been 1 month or 100 months, is worth your mental health. Step up and admit this was not what you were expecting. It sounds like you were not given adequate training by your supervisor, for one, she should not be making comparisons between you and your subordinate, after 1 month on the job. It sounds like you were set up for failure from the minute you entered the door. Supervisors should receive more thorough training; if you are receiving the same training from your supervisor, it's no wonder that the employee you are supervising has little to no respect for you; s/he sees you as an equal. Give reasonable notice and get yourself back out on the job market. Value yourself and your mental health enough to say, "No more!"
AnonymousNovember 2,2022 at 7:18PM UTC
I sincerely appreciate your good advice! you helped me more than you can know. Thanks!
AnonymousOctober 31,2022 at 8:34PM UTC
Have you started looking for new positions? It may be a good idea here, especially since you are not happy in your current role. I wish you luck!
AnonymousNovember 1,2022 at 1:16PM UTC
I love the comments and the advice here - they're spot on. Here's another way to look at it - you said your boss gave you a lecture. Your boss did not attempt to support you, or refrain from allowing the subordinate to contact boss all the time, or see how you are doing and what your boss could do to support you, just lectured you. That doesn't make you a bad employee. In fact, you seem to be having a pretty normal reaction to what's happening and the environment. That makes me believe in you, a lot. Gather up your courage - you can do this. Get some momentum going, for another direction, for you. Start small, if you need to. Dance around and get a little bit happy, about the good change you need to make for your self, before you begin. Focus on how good it's going to be to get to a better place. Start sending out your resume to 3 places that you choose every day. Wish you good luck and I hope you flip this situation soon!
AnonymousNovember 2,2022 at 7:16PM UTC
Thanks so much, you provided good information that makes me feel so much better, now I can plan my next steps. I hope to (as you said) “flip” this situation soon!
AnonymousDecember 9,2022 at 7:55PM UTC
Good advice and your support is sincerely appreciated! I really needed to hear this, thank you!
surfnwriteNovember 1,2022 at 5:53PM UTC
With every job I've ever had, there was a honeymoon phase where I loved it for a period of time until things started bothering me. Sounds to me like you never had a honeymoon phase at this job. Things tend to go from bad to worse, so it might make sense to cut your losses and get out now.
Sabrina CortesNovember 2,2022 at 3:03PM UTC
I'm so sorry to hear this! You received some good advice and support here too. :)
As a professional Resume Writer, I want to ease your mind and tell you that you don't need to list this job on your resume since it's been such a bad experience for you. Be sure though to tailor your resume to the positions you apply for because this increases your chances of passing the applicant tracking system (ATS) and getting your resume into the hands of a Recruiter or Hiring Manager.
I'd be happy to take a look at your resume (for free) and give you some pointers. If you're interested, feel free to reach out to me here or you can email me at sabrina@writewithsabrina.com.
I hope this was helpful and sending you positive vibes!
AnonymousNovember 2,2022 at 7:13PM UTC
Thanks to everyone for your advice and support, this forum has really helped me a lot. It is true I never liked anything about the job once I started except the paycheck (and even that is much less than my last position). I feel better now that I decided to leave, I have to wait a little bit until my next opportunity comes along for financial reasons but now, thanks to your advice and support I feel confident to apply for other positions. I hope to find something else soon, but if I don’t, I will still resign as soon as I can. I am glad I found this forum and posted.
Lu SabalDecember 8,2022 at 7:59PM UTC
Getting in front of other companies supervisors and thier HR process will make you feel 100% better and change your entire outlook. Happy hunting and vet the next company like you life depends on it, because if you unhappy at work and you stay too long you’re only doing yourself a disservice.
AnonymousDecember 9,2022 at 7:53PM UTC
Thanks so much, your advice is 100% spot on! I had an excellent call with a recruiter this week which I hope will lead to an interview. My confidence came back immediately once I reviewed my resume and background with the recruiter. I will vet the next offer carefully before accepting. I can not thank you and everyone on this forum enough for their support. With any luck will find a better opportunity soon!
Lu SabalNovember 3,2022 at 7:21PM UTC
This is nonsense. Your supervisor should be rejecting your subordinate clearly trying to undermine you. Document every interaction your supervisor has with your subordinate. Your supervisor should be sharing this information with you not reprimanding you. I would be looking for another job ASAP. The odds of this turning around are very slim.
Doris AppelbaumNovember 3,2022 at 8:41PM UTC
Let's discuss. I am a professional career coach.
Doris Appelbaum/CEO
Appelbaum's Resume Professionals, Inc.
AnonymousDecember 7,2022 at 11:58PM UTC
Do you charge for your services? I made a final decision to leave but that means I will have no funding for anything extra. thank for your support!
Doris AppelbaumDecember 9,2022 at 10:55PM UTC
Yes - I charge. I am self employed. We can chat briefly on the phone at no cost.