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Explaining why you left

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Anonymous

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Explaining why you left

I worked at a job for 8 months and ended up leaving due to being humiliated and bullied.

It started out great, but my young coworker (36, I'm 57) started being snappy at me and frankly bullied me. Of course this happened when no one else could hear.

Around everyone else, she was the adorable, funny worker who could do no wrong. She got extremely close to my boss, to the point of whispering and being assigned ridiculous things (like attaching ribbons to flower pots) while I picked up her slack.

This person would tell me I stressed her out. She accused me of things and when I tried to explain she said that I "threw tantrums".

I didn't want to cause problems, so I just tried to focus on my work. After a while it became really stressful and I would go in the bathroom and cry.

The last straw was when I was called into my bosses office and was basically cut to the core. When she said that girl told her I throw tantrums and throw her under the bus, I felt suckered punched. I tried to explain as I cried, and she stopped me and said to leave her out of it, this was about me.

I was so humiliated. I left and didn't go back. I could not walk back into that place. I have never been spoken to this way, or treated this way. I'm too old to deal with these petty games.

Now, I am applying for jobs and I'm scared to death of the question of why did I leave my last job.

Any advice?

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  1. Stacey K

    You are looking for new opportunities and a chance to grow.

  2. Teenie

    Simple you'd like change, which is true. No one can force you/ grill you to explain every little thing that bothered you.

    People hv quit and joined another firm simply coz they had great gym packages or snack bars for the employees...

  3. Anonymous

    Just to add on the fact that people quit for jobs with gym packages, etc... wellness opportunities seem to be a popular thing these days.

    This might be something the original poster should look into when trying to land a new job opportunity because it seems the situation she was in was breeding negative, unwell interactions among coworkers and companies should provide outlets for those situations.

  4. Anonymous

    I'm with you on this tough spot.

    Here is how I turned it around so as not to feel so transparent in interviews .. also I had a very similar experience and also worried about this question and reached out for advice.

    MOST IMPORTANTLY, You can handle anything! You took care of yourself, that is the real core reason you left, to protect yourself, so now you are free to offer your wonderful personality to a better company! Don't discount yourself for a new job because of one bully.

    Lastly, Never give the interviewer ( or anybody) all the power. It's just one question, and our nerves can get the best of us when we feel like they have all the control, but remember, an interview is a 2 way street, it's not all about their point of view.
    I've left it vague " I'm ready for a new challenge." No arguing is possible with that one.
    Also,
    I don't, nor should I explain everything in detail, l Ieave that for this forum, friends, my dog, journaling , drinking) Employers don't want to know the ins and outs, or specific complaints about another colleague just be honest and vague,

    "I.E." I am looking for an organization or job which I feel aligns more closely with my values ..or experience or .. stage of life...etc.. does that make sense?

    Because, based on my experience, some places operate a lot like the one where you left, ( they are not really wanting to hire, or they have an agenda for another person to take your spot - that also happened to me ) and those are the types of employers who will look for ANY reason to disqualify a candidate. And the more info that I tell, the more they might try to look at me like I'm the problem, on me, because of course, they don't have the other person's side to evaluate. They just see me, the angry person, their perspective of me might be that I'm unhinged, so I make sure to relax and rehearse before my interviews, because I don't want to get upset and Anxiety brings out unhelpful behaviors in an interview. And the Bubble Guts. Nobody needs that in an interview.

    Also, it's just not a good idea to "badmouth" your former job, coworkers etc.. even if they all stink like rotted fish sitting in the trunk of your car while your driving through Death Valley, in Ca during rush hour traffic lol...

    My previous manager was backstabbing, and dismissive, committed insurance fraud, lied to all of us repeatedly, never helped or stayed late, expected me to work overnight, just a **** boss and bully of a human being.
    I also had a coworker just like yours. I quickly let her know not to mess with me. She ended up quitting because nobody let her behave that way. In an interview though..I say nothing about the "office politics," because when it comes down to it, that's not the job- that's just the garbage pail of a person you have to share air space with.

    Its an experience. a bad one. But it's not the technical part of the job. I like to re emphasize my qualifications or say " I'm looking for this kind of culture "and Leave it at that.

    Then I get to evaluate THEM and ask THEM about how THEY engage employees and keep the culture positive, and if the say nothing that's a red flag.
    In other words shut that conversation down before it begins.

    Good luck!

  5. Anonymous

    The position wasn't what I accepted and it wasn't a good fit.

    Keep it short and simple.

  6. Anonymous

    Most interviewers just want to hear a simple explanation that makes sense so I agree with others. Simple and to the point. Don't get into weeks on this.

  7. Anonymous

    Finding a new opportunity that aligns more closely with my personal development would work. Don't feel pressured to get too personal.

  8. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition Specialist

    It wasn't the right fit.

  9. Anonymous

    Bless you.I have just left a job due to a similar thing being outcasted and bullied, ignored and spoken about behind my back “girly chats” between the long standing staff.Not trained properly and as if waiting for me to make a mistake.I managed a way to get out without losing what I am owed.I fully understand it knocks your confidence so much I’m nearly 40 only wanted a little part time job but I would go to the toilet and cry.Final straw when my husband picked me up and I burst into tears he said no way you are going back.It’s hard to go through this experience but not all employers ( managers) behave like this I was in management from the age of 18 (only assistant manager) but never singled anyone out.It’s like the “mean girls” that used to behave like that school! keep your chin up as ami and applying for other jobs but I’m not going to accept unless I’m 100% sure I’m going to be happy.Good luck xx

  10. Anonymous

    Don’t mention this job unless you have listed it on your CV.Fill in any employment gaps with taking a step out to spend time with family or just a break.Put done or tell the positions you have had which were good and use those employers as your referees.I’ve had a few jobs since my daughter has grown up but I always use my past solid employers ( of whom I worked hard for) on my CV and for references.

  11. Anonymous

    I disagree. Leaving out employers and just putting in a gap, is not forthright. It wasn't like you were there 2 weeks, it's been 8 months. I don't think this would put you in a light of honesty and integrity by not disclosing your most recent employer.

  12. Anonymous

    Some people are just evil. Ge out. Say you're looking for a different experience, to build a different skill set etc., and go. I've been in your shoes and unfortunately the mean girls/guys win.

  13. Jenn Islam

    First off, that's a terrible and traumatic experience and environment. So glad you're out.

    Second, you never need to share the whole truth. You can share a number of things. You can say you had life circumstances that needed your full time and attention and are now ready to get back into the workforce.

    Know that you are not at fault, and there are plenty of opportunities out there for you.

  14. Anonymous

    I think it would be safe to say that the culture of the company wasn't a good fit and you wanted to be somewhere that aligns with your values and allows you to thrive. All of those would be true statements and if asked to elaborate you could say that your desire to work hard and be treated fairly was not well met. They don't need more detail than that. I would definitely not highlight an issue with age differences as they may see that as a red flag. Best of luck to you. The right thing will find you!

  15. Jennifer Taylor

    I too was bullied in a job, even going to HR (which did nothing) . I was eventually let go after only 8 months. I told future employers that it was "not a good fit" and I ended up leaving to pursue better employers and jobs that were better fits for me.

  16. Leader135412

    There is always that one, that gets away with everything.

  17. Wanda Shaw

    Or so it seems! Folks like this will only get so far in their careers before they're finally called out and made to prove their worth. Doesn't happen overnight but it does happen.

  18. Anonymous

    Good for you for leaving! I needed the paycheck, so I stuck it out in that kind of environment for years before finally being pushed out by the bullies & their protectors.

  19. Anonymous

    Been there, experienced that. I like what other posters suggest, and say your values were not aligned.

    Alternatively... you could say that the lack of integrity of a few key individuals and those in leadership made you extremely uncomfortable (ie the mind, petty games), and you did not feel safe in this environment (in so many words - threatened) to perform as you could ... maybe wordsmith a bit, but you get the jist...

    Period. No more, no less.

  20. Joanna Poe

    I'm so sorry you're having to deal with that. It is always okay to say that something wasn't a good fit and leave it at that, and tell them it's not okay to contact that employer. Most people will be totally fine with that.

  21. Jillian Knapp

    That’s awful. My best advice would be to say that the company wasn’t a good fit for you. When you start calling out others integrity or that you were in a toxic workplace although true, tends to reflect poorly on you. I would say the company wasn’t a good fit and what you would consider a good fit would be a place with open and honest communication, great office culture, and inclusive and approachable management and you want to be the same. It will give a positive spin and you won’t speak ill of your past employment.

  22. Ruth A. Ford, PHR

    Try not to get sucked down a rabbit hole of worry about this. First, it might not even come up in this red hot/employee job market. Second -- and even under the best of circumstances -- you don't need to provide a dissertation on why you left a job. Keep it simple and resist the urge to over explain. Third, I whole heartedly agree with some of the examples provided by other posters -- say something like, you are looking for someplace where you can thrive, contribute, feel valued...etc.

    Good luck!

  23. Monica

    I am sorry that happened to you, but I wouldn't even put them down. Be glad you're no longer in that environment. So unhealthy.....

  24. Jan Stafford

    If asked why you left that job, you could simply say that it wasn’t a good fit for you.

  25. Patricia

    I can relate, I have just quit my role this week due to bullying and petty micromanagement. I was there for 2 months but was hired for 6 months as a backfill for someone on secondment.

    So I added the following in my resume and it hasn't raised any eyebrows: Knowledge Manager (Backfill for short secondment).

    In fact, I had an interview this week and have another next Tuesday. The offers to be put forward for roles has been amazing. I find by adding this kind of information in my resume is often enough - as I have had a few short stints (6 months or less) over the years. Never had a problem finding another role. Best of luck in your search for a more suitable role.

  26. Anonymous

    I’m in a similar situation now and waiting on offers so I can quit. In interviews, I said what everyone here said: the role isn’t a good fit and I wasn’t questioned further or asked to elaborate. Good luck!

  27. Liz Milne

    Just be vague: 'it wasn't a good fit' 'it didn't offer me what I needed' etc. Or simply don't acknowledge it at all. It sounds horrible though, it's awful when people behave like that and get away with it...

  28. Anonymous

    Some times I do wonder about women especially in the working place...we should be supporting on another. This kind of behavior should not be tolerated at all. It was not a good fit. Explain your journey and what positive effects this position had for you e.g. more clarity on what fits to you and your experience. Good luck! You will find a new job with great people.

  29. BeaBoss645203

    Try to be happy that you are no longer there and I am sorry you had to go through that. There is really no need to explain at future interviews why you left. Just treat it as a vague question and say you did fee it was a good fit for you. No other explanation needed. Please don't be afraid to get out there and try , try again. Best of luck .

  30. Deborah Frincke

    I am so sorry ...

    You can simply say that the culture wasn't a good fit, and leave it at that. If you only say the job wasn't a good fit, then potential employers may wonder about offering you a similar sounding position.

    Also, once you move, people in your personal and professional will ask you why you stayed such a short time. You need to practice how much to say after you move. Sticking with Culture not a fit works there too

  31. Anonymous

    I forgot to add that I was told I could do a lower position job (big demotion) and they were hiring someone for my job.

    That was even more humiliating. I've started interviewing and said they wanted me to work in a totally different job that wasn't a good fit for me.

  32. Deborah Frincke

    That sounds perfect to me - if I were interviewing you, it would answer my questions. Very best wishes in your job search!

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