Should I tell my manager I’m about to go through IVF, as I can imagine I’ll have a lot of doctors appointments.

Anonymous

January 30,2023 at 2:33PM UTC

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Should I tell my manager I’m about to go through IVF, as I can imagine I’ll have a lot of doctors appointments. My company is very flexible with appointments and working from home up to twice a week when needed, but should I give them a heads up? I’m not the type of person to tell my manager my personal stuff but they’re very laid back and I’ll probably need to be in and out for appointments.

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JhendersonJanuary 30,2023 at 2:40PM UTC
Absolutely you should, IMO.I went through 7 years of IVF and if I hadn’t told my employer they wouldn’t have known what I was navigating physically and emotionally. If your employer isn’t empathetic, it might be a sign that you should look elsewhere. That kind of behavior needs to end.
AnonymousJanuary 30,2023 at 2:48PM UTC
I would, you may need to be in and out rather unexpectedly, medication changes, timing of scans, etc. Even with offices with the most accommodating early appointment hours you may need more flexibility and understanding. Best of luck to you!
Molly FJanuary 30,2023 at 2:49PM UTC
I did. They supported me & were flexible.
E CJanuary 30,2023 at 3:47PM UTC
Before you do, as much as I hate to say it, read the room a bit. Is this an office where women are supported in taking maternity leave? Are coworkers with health needs respected when they need time off? If so, go for it. If not, I would keep things as close to the vest as you can. All the best to you!
AnonymousJanuary 30,2023 at 7:45PM UTC
Read your HR handbook. Most companies have a section dedicated to this now. If not, check with HR to find out "where you can find the corporate fertility leave policy" or similar wording. Try to find it on your own via the website first. Copy/print it just in case. It may be there to entice applicants, but found nowhere else. Good luck.
AnonymousJanuary 30,2023 at 9:30PM UTC
When we went through IVF years ago, I just shared that I needed some flexibility for some medical appointments, not specifically IVF. My manager was concerned only with my overall health when he reached out to see if I was okay. He cared enough to ask, and I did not overshare. I was open about the amount of appointments that I would potentially need to have, and we worked around it. In my case, it was worth the effort, I ended up pregnant with Twins. :) Good luck to you and your family!
AnonymousFebruary 2,2023 at 2:00PM UTC
One option is flexible FMLA.
AnonymousFebruary 2,2023 at 2:41PM UTC
Depends on the room and your relationships. At the very least, you should tell your boss you are taking care of a health concern (you don’t have to say what) and you will need some flexibility while dealing with it. I once had a boss and then senior levels of management who would have whole heartedly supported IVF. (Large corporation, but the SVP over the department loved families and babies and set the tone accordingly.). Other places, it would be a health concern only.
AnonymousFebruary 2,2023 at 6:26PM UTC
The other issue is that you will be extra emotional for a while (as I understand the IVF process shoots you full of extra hormones). You might want to give your boss a heads up about that - but yeah, I get that it's maybe more than one would want to share. I guess I'm not really all that helpful, but pulling for you! Good luck.