Any Advice for How to Handle Being Grouped in with and Compared to a Coworker Whose Work Product and Work Ethic Differs Drastically from Yours?

Anonymous

April 2,2023 at 1:35PM UTC

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Any Advice for How to Handle Being Grouped in with and Compared to a Coworker Whose Work Product and Work Ethic Differs Drastically from Yours?

I and another employee work fully remote positions at our office. There are other similarly positioned people in our office, but we are the only two fully remote employees. This person and I work in similiar roles, although my role comes with higher pay and requires a higher skill level.

I've worked hard to obtain several degrees and certifications than the other person has. My resume also reflects that ive worked at larger, more sophisticated companies than she has. I frankly produce a higher quality work product than she does, and I am always avaliable for our team. The other person lacks attention to detail and is often missing during the work day.

The person who matters the most regarding our performance reviews, raises, bonuses, etc. ALWAYS holds group meetings with myself and only this other person only to discuss performance., work load, assignments. None of the items mentioned for correction are ever my mistakes.

I don't care what this other person does in their career. I care that I'm being grouped in with somebody who frankly kind of does a crappy job. I find myself being resentful of this other employee. It's not her fault that though, and I know this is just a personal trigger for some reason.

I've mentioned to my boss that my concern that these meetings are a fair reflection of my work, and I was somewhat dismissed.

Any advice on how to keep my mind in "my own business" and not let this person's work performance bother me under these circumstances? I don't want to behave as a bad person, which I find myself doing now, but I also feel like I should stand up for myself too.

Am I crazy? Or is this a legitimate concern?

Thank you.

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Reb562April 2,2023 at 1:44PM UTC
Reading your post, I don't show any indication you are being compared.
I'll admit I hold group meetings because one person made a mistake and I wanted everyone to be aware of why, it's done a certain way. There is no blame, no reprimanding, just educating everyone as to why we do what we do.
Never go into a meeting regardless if it's one on one with your boss or group thinking you did something wrong. Unless you ACTUALLY did something wrong, there is no reason to feel negative about any discussion.
If you believe you are doing great work, then you ARE doing great work.
AnonymousApril 2,2023 at 7:50PM UTC
Thank you for this. Good advice.
AnonymousApril 2,2023 at 1:47PM UTC
How is your annual performances handled and documented ? That would be my main concern. The manager is not grouping you together because you are both remote. They are putting together this call to manage/balance workloads and discuss any issues with two people who have similar roles.
AnonymousApril 2,2023 at 7:51PM UTC
Thank you for taking time out to respond.
AnonymousApril 3,2023 at 12:04PM UTC
I don't see a reason to stand up for yourself as you are not being blamed or held accountable fir anything the other coworker has done.
This trigger is yours alone. The meetings are easier for your manager to handle and saves her time. You have already brought up your thoughts on separating you two and it was not adopted. So leave it alone.
I would focus on your stats. Share that you delivered 100% on time and without correction if you need to but do not highlight a competition or comparison with your coworker. It's counter productive and might even solicit the response that you monitor or support the coworker's performance as part of your duties. Then their performance would be directly tied to yours. I've seen this happen all the time. Seldom is there adequate compensation offered for the effort and the shift of oversight relieves the manager so they see it as a no-brainer. So watch yourself .
AnonymousApril 3,2023 at 8:43PM UTC
One of my Manager always compared me and one of my colleague , however it never mattered to us as we were very good friends and she used to come and tell me what happened in 1:1 . He compared me to my college and asked her to improve on certain things . She was really mature enough and we had very good rapport from beginning so nothing really influenced our bond. However it rarely happens team members are not impacted. It usually creates frustration , unnecessary bad blood which in first place is not even needed. Managers instead of picking names they should either constructively give feedback ,comparing will only divide team members , loosing its purpose .
AnonymousApril 4,2023 at 12:44PM UTC
Thank you! You undrrstand exactly what I'm feeling and experiencing.
Mary PoolApril 5,2023 at 12:36PM UTC
I don't see the problem. If anything, this other employee makes you look better and more valuable. I don't understand why you are not grateful that there is such a glaring contrast between yourself and the other person. If there are cutbacks, it will be a no-brainer on who to keep and who to let go. If anything, you make yourself look bad by mentioning nonissues and making your manager's life difficult. Stop; the "Look how much better than I am than other people" is not a good look. It makes the person doing it seem insecure and, frankly, less valuable.
AnonymousApril 6,2023 at 1:18PM UTC
Such excellent points! Thank you.
R.A. AndrewsApril 5,2023 at 2:13PM UTC
You are not crazy! Being dismissed when you bring a concern to your manager is not a good experience to have and only feeds the problem you came to the manager for in the first place. The issue here lies within the manager, not you or your work performance. If the manager was open to feedback, your concern would have been heard. Sounds like you do not have a reason to be concerned about your job performance, but a manager who will put you in an uncomfortable position then dismiss your concern about it is not to be trusted. Sorry you are experiencing this.
AnonymousApril 6,2023 at 1:17PM UTC
Thank you! I would likely be the worst manager in the world, so I try to have empathy for the struggles my manager goes through (especially as a woman in a traditionally male field) , but I still find her management style to be ill fitting for my needs.
AnonymousApril 5,2023 at 2:35PM UTC
I understand the annoyance, but you should focus on excelling your own performance instead of the other person. You and that other person, let's call them "Jane Doe". You are her peer, not her manager, you are not responsible for her performance.If her performance is impacting your performance or how you are being reviewed, or added more work load to you in some way, bring those specific things to your boss during the next 1:1. Don't trash talk the other person, but state that where your responsibilities are and make sure her work performance isn't being factor into yours. Otherwise, let it go. Just like the others said, it's actually a good thing to be the one with more credentials and skills. You should also focus on building better relationships and 360 degree management to ensure there's good vibes around you. The other person will either self destruct or move on over time.
AnonymousApril 6,2023 at 1:15PM UTC
Such excellent advice. Thank you.
AnonymousApril 5,2023 at 5:49PM UTC
Focus on you, when these meetings end document what was directed toward you and be sure to cc yourself in an email and if need be pull your manager aside for a correction if you disagree. I would suspect the manager is using a group tough love to get the other person to step up and to not ostracize them independently. If you find this demoralizing or demotivating please be sure to tell your manager that specifically without looping in the other persons work. Stay on your lane and keep doing a great job. If you truly feel unappreciated think hard about the workplace you are in and if long term it's going to suit you.
Cindy GrossApril 5,2023 at 6:04PM UTC
What happens for you when you notice that you are hooked by spending time and energy on this person and refocus on yourself? #BefriendingDragons