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Should I refer a mediocre connection to my network, or take the opportunity to ask if she wants any feedback to help her more long-term?

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Should I refer a mediocre connection to my network, or take the opportunity to ask if she wants any feedback to help her more long-term?

Someone I used to work with recently reached out for connections. She's in the market for a job, and usually I'm very supportive of passing along anything that could be helpful. Thing is, she was tough to work with and often produced sub-par quality work. We were actually talking about letting her go when she left for another opportunity.

I'm torn. On the one hand, I can pass along any jobs that suit her, but on the other, looking at her career track record, it looks like she hasn't had a job lasting more than a year in the years since I worked with her. I fear that this pattern will continue, potentially due to her quality of work. She also works in a tough field, where there are a lot of contract positions, but I know others in her field who have been very successful.

So, do I give her a "of course, I'll pass along anything I see" note and leave it at that, or do I ask her if she would be interested in feedback?

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  1. Deb Allen

    I would give her the benefit of the doubt and ask her if she is open to feedback, look at the resume and critique it for technical things like how she represents the employers and accomplishments. That conversation may lead to why she left those roles and if you see a pattern, you can determine how she might take your opinion on all this. She might not be open, in which case you say nothing. If she is, you are not responsible for helping her fix all this history and herself but it might be valuable for her to hear. Either way, be prepared to say little if needed, and okay with getting negative feedback on what you say.

    I personally believe in trying to help if it is welcomed, if not you need to be okay keeping quiet.

  2. Michelle RhodesBrown

    It depends on how much you value the relationship and how much you care about the person. If you care, then it will be more helpful to give her the direct feedback. Let her know you'll pass along leads for her to follow up on, but that you can't recommend her and why. She may get angry but ultimately it's in her best interest to get accurate feedback. That said, be gentle.

  3. Anonymous

    Wow. You're tough. Why are you even connected to her if she's just a "mediocre" connection?

    There are ALWAYS two sides to every story in a working relationship. What were the conditions like for her, I wonder? If she left the company before she was potentially fired, it must not have been great for her either.

    What kind of work did she do. Was it subjective? If so, who's to say what is good or "sub par." And if the team she worked with wasn't aligned or didn't communicate the scope clearly, it can be a nightmare for the contributor. You admit that she works in a tough field. Tougher than you think I would imagine.

    Finally, who are you to judge her track record? Especially if she's a contractor. Those gigs only last 6 months to a year. And remember, the last four years have been tough!! Remember COVID and mass layoffs that have become the norm?

    And no one is loyal anymore. The average amount of time ppl stay with a company is about two years- and that's for FTE roles.

    And Feedback? You can ask her if she's open to feed back when you decline to refer her. But where was the (constructive) feedback when you were working with her?

    Show some grace and compassion. Less smugness. And if you feel that strongly about her, don't be a connection on LinkedIn. That's supposed to be a supportive community where ppl connect and support each other.

    There's a little feedback for you.

  4. Rebecca Van Hout

    Always be kind. Pass on opportunities and don't offer feedback unsolicited.

  5. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition Specialist

    Personally I would not recommend you give unsolicited feedback. Often times it's not received in the spirit it's intended.

    There's a very big difference between maybe passing along an opportunity you happen to come across and say, being a reference for someone.

    I would be cautious about passing along any opportunities at your own company because that could open a can of worms. Her asking you to refer her, her asking you to be a reference, you putting your own reputation on the line by referrring her.

    I don't see the harm in casually passing on a link to a position that might cross your path, but I would proceed with caution.

  6. Anonymous

    Maybe she has pursued environments that were startup oriented and not well established and would thrive better in an environment that have established best practices, clear roles, etc. I might ask a couple of questions about what she is looking for before referring her if I know the team/department. Or, I have a friend whose strategy is to refer the person, but to offer a Caveat (directly to the manager) of the “type” of referral. They often say they are a marketing referral. Not familiar with current work products.

  7. Anonymous

    There is a lot of great insight here. I’d only like to add: no one knows her whole personhood and what she is capable of. Concerning her performance, maybe she was seeking an environment that wasn’t a good fit for her. Or maybe she’s in a role that often involves a lot of conflict. I like to give the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps when referring her, you could note the type of referral that it is. My internal HR offers a drop down with the type of referral. First hand experience with the person vs. networking connection.

  8. Anonymous

    Don’t do it, you’ll put your professional reputation at risk for someone you said you were previously trying to let go. This is high risk and low reward. When you lend your name to someone’s candidacy you’re also adding your endorsement.

    I’ve spent my entire career building my brand and credibility. I would never put myself in a position to let a mediocre connection sink that.

  9. Anonymous

    I would pass along job information only for jobs where I thought the person could be successful. That would be low risk yet helpful.

  10. Anonymous

    NO....NO....NO

    Especially if you have a good name in the company. Just don't do it. Trust me. I asked my ex husband to hire my cousin that needed to get his foot in the door. It was a disaster from day 1. He completely took advantage of the fact that my husband was an officer in the company. Even though we asked him to not mention it to anyone, he mentioned it to everyone.

    Every time he did something wrong, I heard it from my husband. "I can't believe I hired him...He is a good worker when he shows up....He talks too much....He isn't at work to socialize" You name it and I heard it.

    NEVER AGAIN

  11. Anonymous

    That's different from passing along job opening notices to a former coworker.

  12. Anonymous

    There are few people in my professional network that I’d lend my ringing endorsement to. Tread lightly unless you’re willing to accept possible blowback.

  13. Anonymous

    Well you could go for meritocracy. Depending on energy levels.

  14. Karen P. Storey

    She who accepts evil without protesting it, is really

    cooperating with it. My opinion only - Bag It!

  15. P I.

    Ask if she's interested in feedback, and then talk to her about your hesitation. Based on the outcome of your convo, you'll be better equipped to decide what to do. Personally, if someone in my network referred someone to me who manages to get hired but turns out to be a problem, I'd be asking why you referred this person to me knowing they had "issues"? What would be your response to me?

  16. Anonymous

    Is she looking to connect with you on LinkedIn or a foot in the door where you work?

  17. Anonymous

    With someone with mediocre performance, I'd not be likely to be a direct referral to an opportunity. I may pass along openings I see that she may be a fit for, but that's it.

  18. Anonymous

    Of course she deserves to eat, but not at my expense (note: I am not the OP). I have seen too many referrals go bad and it can significantly hurt the reputation of the individual doing the referring.

  19. Anonymous

    What would it cost you to be nice to her?

  20. Anonymous

    Maybe this can help: I do not associate the performance of the hired candidate with the referring person. If the candidate gets the job, that’s great. That was a decision of the hiring panel. If they don’t work out, that has nothing to do with the referring person. IMHO this business about damaging the reputation of the person referring a candidate is a flawed logic. It’s up to the candidate and the hiring panel to represent themselves in an honest way so that the relationship is mutually beneficial.

  21. Anonymous

    I would just pass along good wishes for her search and if something comes your way that might suit her skills send it over. Otherwise she will either get a job or not on her own from those leads or not.

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