Hello everyone! I need your advice!

24 Comments

1. AnonymousApril 5,2025 at 2:38PM UTC

   First, I'm unsure what your former coworker's motivation was in telling you this. It certainly wouldn't make you feel better or even reassure you that it wasn't your fault, so why did he do that? How would he know for sure, or is it speculation?

   Yes, you need to move on from this. I know it's easier said than done, but you can use this as motivation to actively search for a new position, or you can let it continue to eat away at you. It is a choice; one thing you cannot change is the past. Sometimes, we can be our own worst enemies. When you look in the mirror and see a friend, you are making progress in moving forward. If you are having trouble getting past this, seek help from your network, friends, a coach, or a therapist, and talk it through with them. You'll find your strength. Use it to move forward.

2. Barbara BurkeApril 5,2025 at 3:45PM UTC

   Maybe the former coworker thought OP had a case for unlawful termination?

3. AnonymousApril 6,2025 at 1:37PM UTC

   I'm not sure nepotism is grounds for unlawful termination. It would depend on whether the OP lives in a right-to-work state and is protected by a collective bargaining agreement (e.g., a labor union). The OP never said the reason for her termination.

4. Aaliyah Serianna OlsonApril 5,2025 at 5:24PM UTC

   That definitely stings! I'd be upset about it too. But remember..... everything happens for a reason. Maybe God was protecting you from a toxic work environment or worse. What was the reason they gave you for teemination?

5. AnonymousApril 7,2025 at 4:15PM UTC

   The reason he gave me was, “it wasn’t working out.”

6. AnonymousApril 6,2025 at 12:30PM UTC

   At times we never get answers , but what’s important is for you to.

   Make time to rest and reflect on what you want your future to look like.
   Apply for unemployment as soon as possible.
   Join a job seekers network, where you will meet people who are experiencing similar situations or are dealing with losing a job.
   It’s not easy to lose a job, but take it one day at a time.

7. AnonymousApril 6,2025 at 12:44PM UTC

   Close that chapter, it’s not about you or anything that you could have done to fix the issue. It’s nepotism and bad management. Now is the time to focus on yourself, what you want and bounce back to an even better position and opportunity.

8. GirlBossanova934974April 6,2025 at 1:11PM UTC

   This story is as old as Noah and bread. Some glad handing executive hires a family friend or personal relationship to do a job that are completely unqualified to do They then fire the person doing the job. The company moves on and the unqualified person is given a few mundane tasks to do and the executive pats himself on the back. See, I'm a smart guy. Of course, we know how this story ends in most cases. Sooner or later, Mr. or Ms. UNQUALIFIED messes up big time and the executive is left with an omelette all over their face. A consultant is usually brought in half the time to clean up the mess.

9. AnonymousApril 7,2025 at 12:55PM UTC

   Agreed. Unless this person is a quick study and can easily adapt and learn the industry, it's not a matter of "if" they'll mess up, it's more like "when".

10. GirlBossanova934974April 7,2025 at 5:53PM UTC

    And when these NON HR folks mess up in HR, there comes a SIX FIGURE lawsuit from some outside employment lawyer. Surprise!

11. AnonymousApril 6,2025 at 3:14PM UTC

    Well it's hard to battle family. There are new dynamics and blood is thicker than water as they say.

    Nothing you can do is better than living well and working on you. Healing happens in fits and starts. So it will be a journey. So give yourself time and grace.

12. DawnApril 6,2025 at 3:44PM UTC

    I understand what you're going through but a few things that have helped me.

    The company leadership will do what they feel is best for the company. When it comes to being terminated for a reason like that do you really want to work for a company like that anyway? If they don't see the value in your skills and dedication and want someone inexperienced then it's up to them to deal with the aftermath of their decisions.

    Personally I would distance myself from the people for a bit. If you do speak with them the company and what they are doing is their business not yours.

    Distance has helped me deal with handling a similar situation.

    Remember when one door closes another one opens and it's going to be better!

    Good Luck! I am sure you'll find something even better soon!

13. Tracy MApril 6,2025 at 4:15PM UTC

    I love how you framed this. I was terminated from a job for a mistake I made in the midst of extreme burnout due to a stressful environment and unrealistic expectations. At times, I still find myself angry, upset, and blaming myself thinking I could have done better. The reality is, that's not a place that appreciated my worth.

14. AnonymousApril 7,2025 at 4:13PM UTC

    Thank you for your response!

15. AnonymousApril 6,2025 at 6:10PM UTC

    Unfortunately this company has just opened itself up to potential legal issues in the future by moving away from having an HR professional. There are so many potential areas where mistakes can be made in regards to laws and managing employees. She may be a paralegal, but unless she is familiar with HR in particular, her chances of screwing up and putting the company at risk can be quite high. Move on knowing that they made a huge mistake.

16. rgstaffing@bellsouth.netApril 7,2025 at 12:42PM UTC

    I am sure there is much more to this story. Since you are an HR professional with years of experience, they were probably very careful with your termination. the best advice is what you gave yourself--move on. It does not matter who your replacement is as you are no longer at the company.

17. WandaApril 7,2025 at 12:50PM UTC

    That part, "you should just move on" is 100%. Sorry that you fell victim to corporate nepotism, but "please" don't let this experience stall your career. As you've said, you have years of experience. I know it's easier said than done, but now it's time to step on out there and find a new place to shine. All the best!

18. AnonymousApril 7,2025 at 1:51PM UTC

    It seems like there’s a lot of churn in the HR field these days so hopefully you find something soon. That will occupy your mind and it will be easier not to dwell. There is a book called “Get out of my Mind” that can be helpful. Good luck! This is a sobering reminder to all of us that we are professionals first and employees of X second.

19. AnonymousApril 7,2025 at 2:51PM UTC

    Oh yuck! I’m so sorry this happened to you. Oddly in my current company we had a similar situation. We had one of the finest HR people I’ve ever worked with when I started. One of the few I actually trusted. Well suddenly this lawyer started coming to the office and having meetings with the president. The next thing we knew he was hired as general council and operations. Then he started asserting aggressive authority which mostly was clumsy and badly received. He was rude and dismissive to our HR lady and we watched over the months as he eventually fired her. And of course took over HR Horrible!! His reign was a nightmare to say the least. She was seriously emotionally wounded by the experience, as you can well imagine. But the truth is no matter what she can hold her head up high because there is absolutely nothing she could have done to avoid this. They wanted her gone precisely because she was so good at what she did. I suspect you are the same. Just so you know the lawyer and the president are both gone . HR lady is healed and working her dream job. Inexplicably I survived all the carnage and war and am

    looking forward to the next wacky chapter in this company.

20. MillyApril 7,2025 at 4:11PM UTC

    thank you for your reply, once I noticed that she was interested in HR, I offered to train her. She came back to me two weeks later to let me know she was not interested in learning HR.

21. AnonymousApril 7,2025 at 4:16PM UTC

    I was terminated on 1/20/25.

22. AnonymousApril 9,2025 at 4:14PM UTC

    Oh wow! I'm so sorry that happened to you. Keep looking for opportunities. You will find the perfect gig for you and this company is in your rearview. Things WILL work for you. Stay positive and keep looking.

23. Janet ParkhurstApril 10,2025 at 1:51AM UTC

    TRAIN her? Over my dead body. They'd have to make me her supervisor before I'd fall for that ploy. How many people do you know who had to "train" someone for their job, only to be fired, once that person was viable.

    I trained someone, who eventually DID get my job, but at least I was her supervisor, not a sucker. The heck with "team player."

24. Janet ParkhurstApril 10,2025 at 2:27AM UTC

    Hello,

    I loved everyone's comments on this dismaying situation. But there's one thing no one mentioned... MONEY. It's ALWAYS about MONEY. I know because it happened to me.

    I was a Senior Copywriter at a small ad agency and enjoyed the job for over two years. I got along really well with the owner; I accompanied him to new biz pitches and pretty much represented the agency. Things began to get really busy, so I got to hire a part-time junior copywriter, who had only a little experience writing for a PR agency (far different than writing ad copy), but she was nice and could write decently enough. So, she became my assistant. Well, things began to nosedive with the economy and, soon enough, the agency. The owner hired a "neighbor" who had lost her job (in a field not even remotely related to advertising). He set her up at a corner desk, gave her a vague title and responsibilities to match. No one liked her. She was draining the salary piggy bank. But, as others have pointed out, here, nepotism always wins. Soon, I was let go, and replaced by my part-time junior copywriter, who was only too happy to go full time. After all, she had two kids heading off to college. But the point? She was far CHEAPER than me. My only comment about the "friend" who affirmed the OP's dismissal was due to the new person...DUH! I'm sure she figured that out. What a dolt. I'd leave him behind, too.

    The original poster here was an HR pro. So, I would imagine, that she cost a bit more than the fledgling that was brought in to replace her. BTW, my boss stopped speaking to me, too, except to downgrade my work and "build a case against me." So... obviously, the OP did nothing wrong and there was nothing she could do to keep that job. It stinks, but this kind of thing happens all the time in the workplace.