I am facing challenges with my new Manager.

Anonymous

June 17,2023 at 1:29PM UTC

Welcome to Fairygodboss!

We’re the largest online career community helping women achieve their career goals. Gain access to articles, jobs, events, and a supportive network of women and allies. Membership is free, always.

I am facing challenges with my new Manager. They openly challenge me and micro-managing, which has made it difficult for me to work effectively. I have tried to schedule meetings with them twice to discuss the issues but they haven’t responded to my requests.

The direction of my role has been agreed upon, which I actively put forward when they began to ensure our roles were clear, but a statement from them bothered me.

They’ve said that my next move is to manage a large team, even though I was already managing that team before they arrived and still have some level of involvement with it.

Weeks in, it felt like a bold statement to make without fully understanding my responsibilities and the dynamics of the team. An agreement I had with the CEO said that a section of the department would stay with me. That is being overlooked as well.

Each request that is made of me is menial and I feel conflicted, lowering my role and capabilities to accommodate them.

It’s causing me a lot of frustration because I enjoy the work and have a solid attachment to the company.

I am being flexible, adapting and pushing myself to be better for the team and grow. But I am at the point where I think if the roles were reversed, a performance conversation would be had.

When the power dynamics are flipped, what do you do to improve the performance of your boss?

Why women love us:

Daily articles on career topics
Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
Advice and support from an authentic community
Events that help you level up in your career
Free membership, always

10 comments

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

10 Comments

Join the conversation

AnonymousJune 17,2023 at 7:38PM UTC
You can't manage up if they are pulling strings behind your back.
It sounds like your CEO is telling you one thing and the boss something very different.
I would ask for a clear job description so you understand what's really going to happen.
AnonymousJune 21,2023 at 11:23AM UTC
You are correct. I finally got a meeting in, meeting the issue head-on and asking that question. My manager tried twice to put off the meeting, but I didn't relent. I will write my own RD next.
GirlBossanova934974June 18,2023 at 12:57PM UTC
Little confused here. You say you are having challenges with a manager in the headline. Then you use the pronoun, 'they' in the body of the text to indicate more then 1 manager is at work here. It sounds this company of yours does not have its act together. The CEO says one thing and does the other. One minute, you get to keep your team and the next minute, you are to report to a new manager who has taken your role. I would be out the door looking for another job or transferring to another division if possible. I have seen this sort of "Re-org" go very poorly aka someone at the top decides to 'shuffle the deck' and change out roles and managers. It quickly turns into a RUSH FOR THE DOOR! Be sure you are the first to depart before things really go downhill in a hurry!
Lori Laurito BetzJune 18,2023 at 4:33PM UTC
I have a feeling the OP used “they” to ensure this post stays completely anonymous, rather than the more specific “he” or “she”
AnonymousJune 18,2023 at 6:38PM UTC
Or a non-binary manager.
AnonymousJune 19,2023 at 3:00AM UTC
You boss has tge leverage here and is running his department and managing his direct reports according to their style and what they believe will work. Do your best to adapt.
AnonymousJune 19,2023 at 5:29PM UTC
>>>An agreement I had with the CEO? Hmm, wonder if the CEO has had this conversation as well on the other side with this new manager. Change is difficult and it's often a power dynamic between an incoming manager and the way things have always been under former leadership. You should list out the things that need addressing and be direct when you sit down with them to define what success looks like for you under them. Since you have tenure unless they have documentation of some heinous acts and are a well cared for employee you should be able to work through this. Stand your ground on what you were promised with the CEO - (do reinforce this if you can with the CEO before you do this) and give it some time. Also what might help in general is to try to get to know them as a person and ask some of the tough questions about their management style so you can know how to operate. You cannot improve their performance that is their managers job, what you can is learn how to align and work with them, they don't have to change under new leadership, I am afraid you do.
AnonymousJune 21,2023 at 11:31AM UTC
Thank you for this. I did meet them eventually and asked the big question, and yes you are correct, there was double messaging by the CEO. I reviewed my Myers Briggs profile as well. And I am a Commander (ENTJ). I am direct, which works for teams dealing with complex issues. However, I do need to adapt to match my new manager.
Today I started unpacking for them the process and issues in emails. And identifying the work that needs to be done each day for them. As an immediate follow-up from my meeting, it was a good action step. It does cross my values though, in that I believe that if you have that senior title you know what you're doing. In this instance, they don't. I will take what I can from experience, learn a new style and make a decision about what to do next.
AnonymousJune 21,2023 at 11:21AM UTC
Thank you for your advice. I put the time in my manager's schedule. They let a preceeding meeting run overtime so that could put it off. Then I moved it again, and they attempted to push back my questions by frontloading the meeting with their own agenda, which was a new tactic.
The outcome, there is alignment, and the CEO had said something different to me and them. I was thanked at the end of the meeting, and they did feel happier about the discussion, however, I didn't. And left confused about their actual skill in team leadership.
Katherine Metres Akbar, Interview Coach & Resume ExpertJune 21,2023 at 2:00PM UTC
Oh my. I would make a third request--and gently note that it is a third request--for a meeting to discuss these issues. Put something in it for them like, "I want to make sure I am meeting your expectations and helping you to achieve your goals." Give them dates and times in the next week that would work for you and that you expect would work for them. Stop by their office to ask about it if you don't get a response in 8 business hours. During that meeting, ask about their goals and how you can help meet them. Share what you can do for them based on what you have been doing. Draw up a plan of your agreed priorities and your agreed management plan (such as a weekly meeting and anything else they need to feel confident about your work--a daily email summary?). Help them to succeed (and get off your back--they sound anxious) by bringing your best manager self to the table.