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I have been working in same position for last 14 years under a toxic boss in toxic workplace.

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Anonymous

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I have been working in same position for last 14 years under a toxic boss in toxic workplace. My boss want me to take up responsibilites of one of my Co workers who is pregant and hardly do any office work except gossiping, crying and taking long lunch and telephone breaks. I am thinking of resigning without any back up plan. Pl suggest something

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  1. Rebecca Ali

    It's always better to run to something instead of away from something. Now is the time to really think about what type of job you want to have, what you're good at, and what you want from your next employer. Write it down. Look at the options in your area. Set some goals and get started. It sounds like it's time to look around - better to be proactive and have a plan if at all possible. Your decisions really depend on your life circumstances and only you know what you can afford/handle. Good luck to you!

  2. Ayesha

    Thankyou so much

  3. Anonymous

    Wow you chose to stay for 14 years? Why? So all it took for you to give up toxicity is a lazy coworker? You must have a will of steel.

    If you could last for 14 years, you can last for a couple more months while you job search.

    Don't compound emotional issues with financial issues. Plan carefully and update you resume, update your LinkedIn profile, let your professional network know you're looking.

    Get bust and strategize and draw up a plan. Get serious about where you want to work, the role you'd like, the culture that speaks to you. Fill in any missing pieces in your education with current training, certifications and classes.

    This coworker and the little work she's responsible for are the very least of your worries. You been in this situation a long time. No time to focus on your complaints of a pregnant coworker. You have to get busy.

  4. Ayesha

    With passage of time, things start getting worst..thanks for your advice

  5. Anonymous

    Agree with Rebecca. Depending on your circumstances will give you the answer of whether you can just resign now or need to have a backup plan. I worked for a toxic boss for over 7 years. I could not afford to leave without a back up. I spent a lot of time applying to jobs through the years, but found it more productive to really write it down. What you want so you can then tell those outside of work what you are looking for. Though some times it is just sanity. So you have to leave right now.

  6. Ayesha

    Thankyou so much

  7. Anonymous

    I agree with the Rebecca as well. I would just like to add consider some counseling, working in that kind of environment takes its toll, you will not want to take the emotional baggage it has inflicted on you when you go.

  8. Heather Cutler

    14 years is a long time to remain in a toxic workplace with a toxic boss. What do you think is preventing you from taking steps to find another job so you can stop this long-term suffering?

  9. Ayesha

    Fear of change is stopping me to look around for another job..

  10. Heather Cutler

    Suffering is a choice, you have the ability to bring this to an end. If you’re not changing it, you’re choosing it.

  11. Anonymous

    Therapy can help. There is more going on here than a bad job.

  12. Anonymous

    I think the issue here is less about your coworker and more about why you stayed at a toxic job for 14 years.

  13. Ayesha

    I stayed as I am among the highest paid persons among my Co workers who are doing the similar job but are less qualified.

  14. Anonymous

    Mental health is going to cost you far more down the line. A wonderful life filled with passion for your work, joy and peace in your personal life and a full spiritual inner life is worth more than a few dollars. Don't sell yourself short.

  15. Ayesha

    I am in pakistan

  16. Kris Mertins-Elliott

    As someone who recently left a job after 25 years, I can totally relate to being in a toxic work environment for so long and staying. For me, it wasn't toxic 100% of the time, and had periods of time that I felt good about the job, what I was doing, good relationships with coworkers and/or boss, benefits, etc. I truly believed I would retire from this company, some day. Then I got the push I needed and now I'm a month into a new job I never thought I would have the opportunity to find. My dream job, you might say. My point is, it's never too late, and don't let the "14 years" hold you back any longer.

    As other commenters have suggested, get your ducks in a row, update job skills, resume', LinkedIn, certifications, etc., and start networking and applying. If it's better for your financial well-being to stick it out, then just be as positive as you can and get excited about whatever new opportunities are going to come your way. I wouldn't suggest making a rash decision out of desperation, if you can help it.

    Good luck to you!

  17. Ayesha

    I m truly thankful for you to take time and respond to my situation. U r absolutely right.. It's high time that I should start looking for new job opportunities along with updating my skills etc and be positive about future.

  18. Anonymous

    I’m in the same boat. I have been at a toxic job for 2 years. The benefits are amazing but the toxic environment outweighs that. I have been looking for new jobs. I hope to be out soon.

  19. Ayesha

    All the best

  20. Erica Mitchell

    I was in a similar situation of covering for 2 people at the same time for the past 7 months. My work environment isn't toxic however. I looked at it as a chance to grow my skill set and make a good impression with the company. My advice is to take on the extra responsibilities until you have something else lined up. Just do what you can and give it your best.

  21. Ayesha

    Thankyou for your advice. I had being taking extra responsibilites since long but now I am burning out as there is no appreciation for me,so I thought to put my situation over here

  22. kay Jack

    Great suggestion. That helped me with gaining confidence back after being in a toxic environment for several years.

  23. Tamara Mills

    You don't sound like a peach to work with, yourself.

    This is literally everything you said:

    My boss is toxic.

    My workplace is toxic.

    I will have to do tasks for this new mom when she's on leave, and I don't like her.

    I think all your problems have you in common.

  24. Anonymous

    Someone is genuinely asking for advice. Of course we don’t know all the details, but it’s not helpful to assign the blame back on her.

  25. Ayesha

    Thankyou for your support

  26. Anonymous

    i have been in the same boat as her. It happens. Doesn’t mean it’s her. Try to be helpful and not blame.

  27. Ayesha

    Thanks for your kind words

  28. Ayesha

    I wish you had a chance to work at my work place and btw I am the only one who sustained among these two women as every other person who was hired, quitted within months.. So basically now things are getting out of hand so I thought to take an advice.. Thankyou

  29. Anonymous

    This isn't the women's fault, this is poor leadership and management. Be careful who you're directing your ire towards. It's not a good look for you.

  30. Anonymous

    @Tamara - thank you for your post, I totally agree with everything you've said! If a new mom posted on this board that a colleague was irritated with her during maternity leave, this place would be in an uproar. Call HR, get an employment attorney, discrimination, someone contact the supreme court!

    Now one of our own is the one directing this vitriol on a new mother?? Thanks for calling this out, it needs to be done. Not cool...we're better than this FGB!

  31. HILDA G

    I think you should not decide base on impulse. It will hurt you twice. Look for a better alternative before finally leaving the current workplace. Good luck!

  32. Anonymous

    She said she's been there for 14 years, I don't think anything she decides to do at this point would be considered impulsive.

  33. Ayesha

    Thankyou

  34. Marquisha Thomas

    14 years?! Has always been this toxic or just a recent thing, because that’s quite too long to stay in a place like that. Is there anyway you can start searching, that way you wouldn’t HAVE to resign without a plan? Where have you started looking? Have you also tried here, and LinkedIn?

  35. Ayesha

    It was toxic since beginning but I was too young to understand the office polities at that time.. Yea I have started to update my Cv along witb working on my mental health so that I am in pakistan so using local job sites for job search

  36. Marquisha Thomas

    Good for you!
    Especially hearing about the mental health as well. Definitely find something first then move on, especially since that’s your primary source of income, correct? Sounds like you are heading down the right path. Good luck!

  37. Ayesha

    Thankyou.. Yea I m updating my Cv and its better to find a new job before resigning.. Btw I have three months notice period so have ample time to take things at reasonable pace

  38. Anonymous

    Do not resign before finding a job...find one and then resign.

  39. Monica

    I agree. When I was younger, I'd quit but not at this age. There's too much to consider and things are just so different now.

  40. Ayesha

    Sure I ll.. Thankyou

  41. Stacey Back

    While walking away may seem like the easiest solution, I'd encourage you to be a little more strategic about your next move. First, have you got enough savings in place to cover your living costs for the next couple of months? If so, resigning without another job to go to may be an option -- and if not, start putting some extra funds aside now.

    Second, I would highly recommend finding a new role before you jump. Even if it's a bridge job: not your ideal long-term role but something to support you in the short-term until you do, e.g. a contract, freelance work. Both steps will allow you to leave a toxic environment WITH a back-up plan.

    Finally, what immediate steps can you take (within your control) to minimise the impact of this toxic environment and find some space to focus on finding a new role? Some examples include putting some boundaries in place with your boss and working hours, saying no to additional responsibilities if you don't have capacity to take on extra work, dedicating 15-20 minutes a day to your job search, investing in self-care.

    I'd also look at what you can learn from this experience... What has made you stay in a toxic environment for so long? What will you do differently in future to ensure you don't end up in a similar situation? Make the most of these lessons so they don't follow you into your next role.

    Hope that helps and wishing you luck!

  42. Ayesha

    First of all Thankyou fot taking time to provide me a detailed insight into my situation and the steps u suggest are truly on the point.. First step I have taken is to update my Cv and setting boundaries at work..

  43. Stacey Back

    You're so welcome, Ayesha! Great work on the boundaries and focusing on small steps within your control. Please keep us posted with how you go!

  44. Anonymous

    Find another job before you leave. You are getting your co-worker's work because you are reliable. It happened to me before except my ex co-worker played on the internet all day. So her whole day was one long break. She was a gossiper too. My old manager called me personally and asked me to come back after I left because the work was not getting done. Hard Pass!

  45. Ayesha

    I m glad u can relate to my situation Thankyou so much I am updating my Cv and hoping to land at some new job soon.. Thankyou

  46. Ayesha

    I would like to thank everyone who had taken time out to respond to me. After reading all of positive feedback and solutions.. I m already feeling quite better and have started to take first steps to change my situation. More power to all wonderful human beings

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