Hello ladies, I need help from someone in Human Resources.

42 Comments

1. Tomilyn RichardsFebruary 1,2022 at 12:24PM UTC

   I think this is a specific example of where companies are becoming more flexible and hopefully he feels open enough to have that conversation. There is no shame in social anxiety, many of my family members suffer from it. Having an honest conversation with his boss and/or HR is absolutely the right route. If he does not yet feel comfortable going direct to his boss... going to HR would be a great way to start. Get some support on how to communicate it in the best way!

2. Blair RushtonFebruary 2,2022 at 1:10PM UTC

   If he sees a therapist for his anxiety. This would be a protected condition under the Americans with Disabilities act and the company would need to make reasonable Accommodations for him one of which could be working at home he would need to work with his doctor and therapist psychologist whoever he sees in order to set that up.

3. Kerry RoperFebruary 2,2022 at 5:34PM UTC

   That is IF he has a therapist that he has seen for this condition. He may not have had this condition for long, or it may not have been severe enough to warrant his attention. My S/O has social anxiety, he works for MIT, he's very high functioning, but he learned in his thirties that his condition requires medication, his social anxiety along with his depression can turn his life dark pretty quickly. That would be my first suggestion, get him to a doctor if he hasn't already been. The doctor can then give him whatever he will need for HR to make accommodations for him. However, this isn't a temporary condition, it comes and goes, and that job might not be the only one he ever has, so he should also look into the root causes of the anxiety (if any), get moving physically, every day (if he doesn't already work out), and cut out drinking alcohol or other recreational use of mind altering substances, to get a good baseline of his anxiety and moods. Many people wind up self medicating with alcohol or weed for years with less than ideal results. I think this condition is far more prevalent than we perceive.

4. KarenFebruary 2,2022 at 1:10PM UTC

   I know this condition is not uncommon, my daughter-in-love suffers from it also. He needs to sit down with his boss, take a friend if he has to. He needs to explain the condition and what he feels he can do. He needs to lay it all out professionally and explain what his anxiety is. If the company is accommodating, she will understand and make the appropriate inquiries and get back to him on what they can do for him. If they are not, his next resource should be his HR partner. They can give him more suggestions. Workplaces, as a result of this COVID two years need to understand how people cope with conditions like his and what they need to continue to be the best employees possible.

5. Kate LeporeFebruary 2,2022 at 1:31PM UTC

   just want to be clear that he absolutely does not "need" to disclose anything to his boss. if there is an HR rep he can talk to instead, he might want to start there.

6. Halima YusufFebruary 2,2022 at 1:46PM UTC

   He absolutely does NOT need to disclose the details about his anxiety to his boss. Privacy laws, HIPAA laws are at play here. He needs to speak to his HR rep.

7. AnonymousFebruary 2,2022 at 2:34PM UTC

   As noted in a previous comment, HIPAA laws do not apply here because neither he nor his company are medical professionals.
   HIPAA only relates to medical providers disclosing protected health information.

   If he is asking for an accommodation from HR, he will have to provide some form of proof. The company, particularly if it is a large one, has established procedures they would need to follow before granting accommodations so that they are legally protected.

   Your friend should contact HR, but if asking for accommodations, should be prepared to have a medical professional explain why.

8. AnonymousFebruary 2,2022 at 3:05PM UTC

   I've had ADA accommodations for a job, and the medical condition itself does not have to be disclosed to anyone at the company. What's necessary is a letter from his healthcare provider saying there is a legit medical condition that qualifies the person for ADA accommodations, and the accommodations needed.

9. Whitney N. WestFebruary 2,2022 at 1:16PM UTC

   He should speak with HR or whichever office there handles ADA accommodations. They will determine what’s a reasonable accommodation for him. If he feels comfortable he can also speak with his supervisor about what parts he feels comfortable with but it isn’t necessary.

10. AnonymousFebruary 2,2022 at 5:11PM UTC

    Yes, this is the best answer. No need to disclose anything to the supervisor unless he wants to. The reasonable accommodation request can be made directly to HR.

11. AnonymousFebruary 2,2022 at 1:36PM UTC

    I am not an HR professional however I so suffer from anxiety. I also took medical leave because of it so am well aware of how difficult it can be.

    Myself, I went straight to HR nurse with a note from my doctor so I never had to divulge my medical condition with my boss. He also couldnt ask me anything about my condition due to HIPA laws. Only if your friend has a great relationship with his boss, and trusts her, would i suggest speaking with his boss about the situation. Personally, I would first ask what are the possibilities of becoming fully remote before discussing his medical history. Start from there and if WFH is not an option then mention the condition without telling what the condition is. Remember he is protected and doesnt have to tell anyone but the HR medical team. Good luck to your friend.

12. Dcre1977February 2,2022 at 2:08PM UTC

    This contains some inaccurate info. HIPPA only applies to medical professionals, so your doctor can not release information to your boss or company without your permission, however HR can. It is important to clarify the individual companies policy about the release of info. I would assume anything you tell HR will come back to your boss.

    What HR will do is tell the supervisor they are required to provide reasonable accomadations. However what is reasonable can be up for grabs.

13. AnonymousFebruary 2,2022 at 1:50PM UTC

    he needs to talk to his boss, or go to human resources and explain the situation

    My company has pushed this to the forefront with very senior leaders coming out and talking about their own issues with mental/physical illnesses with themselves or with their families. It's everywhere and people need to realize that it's not something to be ashamed of.

14. AnonymousFebruary 2,2022 at 1:53PM UTC

    He doesn’t need to disclose to his manager. He can reach out to his HR and work with his doctor for an ADA accommodation.

15. RachelFebruary 2,2022 at 2:01PM UTC

    Hi - I am a Senior, Dir - People Ops - I would have him talk to HR - Mental health and wellness - Is on the rise now - I would easily accommodate this request - Especially for a high performer - and I have -Hope that helps

16. Lillian GoldenFebruary 2,2022 at 2:05PM UTC

    What size is the company? I would have him talk to his doctor to get a note accommodating his work from home. Then reach out to HR or his boss and ask for an accommodation to work from home. He is a good employee. I am sure they will be happy to accommodate and keep him! If not, let me know! I know a lot of good companies that would.

    He should not be embarrassed! So many people have social anxiety.

    best wishes to him!

17. Maggie StoneFebruary 2,2022 at 2:21PM UTC

    I am a Therapist, so I am going to answer from a mental health perspective because that is the issue at hand. Avoiding things that cause us anxiety is a normal response, but it ultimately makes the anxiety worse. I would recommend that he discuss with his team his readiness to return to the office. Sounds like the anxiety was somewhat under control and he was previously able to function in an office. If returning is iffy, maybe he can discuss a hybrid option with his employer.

18. MinaKeppelFebruary 2,2022 at 2:31PM UTC

    Please direct him to see/talk to his company Hr dept. for accommodate. Most if not all company has kind of plan for these health issues. mine does & it would be approve if he worked where I do

    From: The "Human" in HR

19. HannahFebruary 2,2022 at 2:39PM UTC

    I love how you signed off your comment. Too often the "human" part gets left out of HR which is a shame.

20. AnonymousFebruary 2,2022 at 4:23PM UTC

    Then it’s pretty bad that a lot of companies have dropped the Human Resources brand altogether on account of what a bad rap HR gets for being more of a resource to the company than to its humans.
    My last (big, famous, successful) tech company calls it ERC, employee resource something. I never bothered to memorize what the C stood for, just duly noted that the name became less human. They get points for being more honest though.

21. AnonymousFebruary 2,2022 at 4:28PM UTC

    One of the largest shipping companies in the world recently dropped HR Representatives and now has GEO Services Specialists... whatever that means

22. MinaKeppelFebruary 2,2022 at 7:11PM UTC

    Thank you.

23. AnonymousFebruary 2,2022 at 2:51PM UTC

    I would recommend he seek a workplace accommodation in which his doctor would attest to specifics (without breaking HIPAA laws) related to the illness and the need he's seeking and possibly initiate a short term disability (STD) claim under FLMA that could allow this accommodation. I wish him well and he's lucky to have a friend in you!

24. Ken BerkmanFebruary 2,2022 at 3:10PM UTC

    Stress with facts and studies that wfh or hybrid has proven to be “new age”, growth adapt or bee left behind(the company). Facts Facts showing many ARE more productive wfh

    and take a class in the martial arts, karate, tar kwon do, take that pent up anxiety/energy/stress/pressure and learn to re channel INTO your own self confidence and own self worth

25. Elaine Holston-SouthworthFebruary 2,2022 at 3:56PM UTC

    Change is challenging for him. i would support him in writing down his concerns or what have you and practice w him. Prompting is always good to release the tension 9anxiety). Then, it would be ideal to set up a meet and greet meeting w his supports and new boss to iron out all kinks and reveal all accommodations needed and expectations as well as his goals. I was in supportive employment for over 13 years as a job coach for the disabled an mentally challenge folks. So that would be my approach.

26. Shelby CFebruary 2,2022 at 4:10PM UTC

    He should be able to ask for a reasonable accommodation under the ADA; however, he should've asked when he was hired.

27. Desiree JohnsonFebruary 2,2022 at 4:25PM UTC

    It may not have been in existence at his hiring time. It can develop at any time.

28. Shelby CFebruary 3,2022 at 12:15AM UTC

    Any disability can develop at any time; however that is not the impression that the OP gave. Disabilities don't usually sneak up on us unless there is a cataclysmic event.

29. BeaBoss979975February 2,2022 at 6:36PM UTC

    You can ask for a reasonable accommodation at any time. With invisible disabilities, asking for an accommodation immediately often means that you are put under a microscope and will never get past the probation period because of discrimination.

30. Shelby CFebruary 3,2022 at 12:08AM UTC

    I have ALWAYS asked during my interviews. I find that being upfront and honest is best. My character, ethics, references, and work product speak for themselves. If they are going to be unfair when I tell them in the interview process that I have a chronic illness (I hear constantly "but you don't look sick"), then I don't want to work with a bunch of ableists anyway.

    I have always made it past probation and gotten at least a raise at the 90 day benchmark. If we don't advocate for ourselves no one else will.

31. Shelby CFebruary 3,2022 at 12:31AM UTC

    Bottom line is that it is no one's business what his "disability" is. He has federal protection under HIPAA and they are not allowed to ask. If he discloses the information, it is no longer protected because employers are exempt from HIPAA so they can discuss it. If he is embarrassed, then I would not tell them what it is.

    He needs to obtain a letter from his physician requesting an accommodation be made under the ADA, allowing him to work from home. In this instance, I would ask my Internist to write it for my Psychiatrist if he wants to keep everything confidential.

    He already has a proven track record of success working from home, so they should not be concerned about anything except jealous co-workers. That is management's issue and not his.

    Please tell him that when I was in HR, I was approached by more people that had been diagnosed with emotional and psychological illnesses than physical ones that needed assistance. It is 2021 and is not anything to be ashamed of. He should be proud of seeking help and having a job he is successful in. The only thing there is to be embarrassed about is others' attitudes. Americans need to learn that mental health is health.

32. AnonymousFebruary 2,2022 at 5:30PM UTC

    He's probably not the only one in the department who is hoping to stay working from home. He should start talking to his manager now about what the corporate policy is on return to work, and how his manager feels about exceptions to that and what the options are. This may end up being a non-issue in his department and therefore he won't need to get any medical accommodations for it at all if that's the case. But he doesn't know until he asks.

33. Brandy BeauchampFebruary 2,2022 at 7:22PM UTC

    Definitely seek an ADA accommodation, review the employee handbook type documents available, then have a conversation with whatever type of representative his company has available.
    If they are a good company.. they should accommodate in some way.. either a hybrid or modify his position so he can be FT virtual. They can not change what they do if they do not know there is an issue.

    However.. I do know of experiences where it is just not possible for the specific job.. Or the company has no choice..May want to be looking for other virtual work where he doesn't have to stress about even the possibility of going to an office.

    Kinda what I did. My job promised virtual.. then went back on it with little notice. Years of tenure and a managerial role meant nothing. Ultimately I found something FT virtual.. making more and with a much better work environment.

    Everyone is different.. A big change can cause tons of anxiety also but in the long run can also be life changing. Pro and Con lists help.

34. AnonymousFebruary 2,2022 at 8:12PM UTC

    As this person said, the most legally protective route is to go to HR and request an ADA accommodation. However, a point of clarification: HIPAA does not apply. HIPAA only covers healthcare providers (defined broadly) and insurers. If he wants an accommodation, he will likely have to either give his provider permission or go get his provider to fill out paperwork on a form provided by the company that explains his condition and how it interferes with his work and why working from home will reasonably accommodate him. However, for the sake of the relationship with his manager, he may just want to let her know how he is feeling first so she isn't blindsided when he goes to HR. Yes, this makes him vulnerable (although legally she is prohibited from discriminating or retaliating against him based on the disclosure) but hopefully his manager will understand and want to help.

35. Brandy BeauchampFebruary 2,2022 at 10:25PM UTC

    I edited my comment. Thanks for this clarification. :)

36. Liz MilneFebruary 2,2022 at 7:46PM UTC

    Has he asked you to find him help with what to do?

    Because if there's no specific request 'help me, I don't know what to do' - then he might just have been venting to you to relieve tension so that he can continue to keep his condition private at work.

    It's horrific but true that people are still judged for having mental health issues and he might pride himself on getting the job done without needing special dispensations?

37. Shelby CFebruary 4,2022 at 7:13PM UTC

    The thought that he may not want help occurred to me as well - no matter what the reason.

38. BeaBoss979975February 6,2022 at 12:39AM UTC

    If that is his choice, fine. However, with any choice comes consequences. Failure to ask for accommodations (not "special dispensations") can put you way behind your peers at work and lead to workplace discipline and dismissal.

39. Liz MilneFebruary 6,2022 at 4:38AM UTC

    Sure, I agree - if you're entitled to accommodations and asking for them helps you do the job better 100% go for it.

    It was just the way OP framed the post: he's high performing and doing 'even better' (implies was doing well before) - plus the comment about his condition not being noticeable...

    All that made me think that he might not want accommodations, or thinks he doesn't need them, maybe, and if that is the case, then he would resent her help, seeing it as interference, and would possibly stop confiding in her - which she obviously doesn't want, seeing as she's trying to help him!

40. Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachFebruary 2,2022 at 11:12PM UTC

    Have him look into getting a coach!
    It sounds like he might need some help in managing his thoughts and emotions. He is definitely warranted to ask if he can continue to WFH and excel, and a coach could help him through that process

41. AnonymousFebruary 3,2022 at 2:24PM UTC

    Social Anxiety is a disability under the ADA. As such, he can request reasonable accommodation. The employer then needs to work with the employee to select accommodations and implement them.

    This does not mean that they need to necessarily allow this employee to work from home permanently if the position has tasks that must be performed in the office. Ex: the employee is working in a secure environment or with sensitive material that must be handled in the office. The employer isn't required to rewrite the job description in making reasonable accommodations, either.

    That being said, most employers will go above and beyond to work with employees as much as possible to create a positive work environment where employees can thrive.

    Also, I'd advise against initially providing medical records, signing releases, etc. The employer may not need them; they may simply need a letter from the employee stating what their medical problem is and what accommodations that they are asking for. Good luck!

42. AnonymousFebruary 3,2022 at 2:43PM UTC

    I am an HR professional and this is my advice - I would start the conversation by setting up a one on one meeting to catch up.

    I would start by saying the purpose of the meeting is to talk through some potential options for remote work. Ask if there would be any considerations made to keep working remote since you've proven to be pretty productive at it. Talk through the reasons why you think it's a good idea and come up with tangible examples. Be prepared for them to say no. Bring up the possibility to do a hybrid model as a consideration if that's ok for you. 1-2 days in the office. Focus on your productivity instead of your medical condition. If none of the options are working, open the door to the other reason for the remote work ask. Mention that part of the reason for the conversation is because of your diagnosed anxiety and tell them you have discovered your productivity sky rockets because you feel you're in a safe place at home.
    Even if you have a medical condition, it doesn't always require a workplace to accommodate. I don't know the nature of your job but if it's reasonable for you to work remote, then they might just be inclined to say yes. If you need to push it, talk to HR and let them know you're asking for an accommodation due to your medical condition and get the paperwork started.
    Good luck!