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Just feeling lost in this job hunt.

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Anonymous

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Just feeling lost in this job hunt.

I am a widow with four children and no familial support system. I lost my job back in January of 2024 (technically the CEO asked the entire team not to log any hours moving forward on the day after Christmas). And I’ve been through multiple final rounds, but I haven’t managed to land anything in my field yet.

I’ve been working odd jobs and gigs to keep us afloat while searching, but it’s so unstable. I finally took a position at a local grocery store, but it does not pay the bills - not even close. It almost feels pointless. But at least it’s something I can count on.

Now my teenagers have taken on jobs to help with the bills so we don’t lose our house, and frankly I just feel like a failure as a mother. I’ve had steady employment my whole life, I’ve opened businesses, and my last job was a 6-year tenure where I earned multiple promotions and did quite a lot to reshape the company in a positive way. The CMO, who I worked under, sends raving referrals for me and has checked in with me every week. I am GOOD at my friggin job.

I wasn’t laid off or even fired, the CEO got sued and somehow all of the company’s money was just…gone. It was a huge slap in the face to everyone. So he let almost everyone go, and the two of us who were left were very limited hours and so afraid of not being paid (that was a thing), that we both had to start prioritizing other work and attempting to move on. Eventually it all just phased out, CEO stopped communicating, and it was left in the past.

The last final round of interviews was fantastic. I was like 80% certain I’d bagged that position, and the last interviewer even showed me around their office, told me where my desk would be, let me know how impressed he was with my skillset and experience, and essentially said he just had to speak with his team about next steps.

They chose the other candidate. A man 10 years younger than me with 1/3 of the experience. Yes, I checked LinkedIn ? I want to know what I’m doing wrong, and I figure finding the people

who come out on top is a good way to do it.

The feedback from the recruiter was that it was a very difficult decision, I did nothing wrong, they just felt he was a better fit. And he probably was - they knew I would have to relocate during Christmas break to be closer to the office (which I prepared for while waiting for final decision). He wouldn’t have to jump through any big hoops to get started. But boy was I willing. I wish sometimes I could say to these employers, “you literally have no idea how desperate I am - I will do whatever it takes and absolutely bust my ass for you.” But that’s unprofessional.

I guess more than anything I am venting. We’re most likely going to have to find either government housing or hopefully a family member to move in with, my kids are going to have to change schools, and everything I have worked so hard to achieve over the years seems to mean…nothing.

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  1. E Stouffer

    I understand your frustration. I was unemployed for 18 months! My best advice is to keep trying. Your dream job is out there.

  2. Anonymous

    Good luck, you'll get through these hard times. Sometimes we don't get why we keep failing but then the clouds disapear. Best wishes.

  3. Anonymous

    I’m so sorry. Please don’t give up. Are you in the US? If so have you applied for SSI for the kids?

  4. Anonymous

    Like you I was at the top of my game, respected in my profession but the walls closed in. Poor company financial management ended my last position in staffing. I pivoted my job choices to a university though my salary was half of what I was used to and ended up losing my home, worried where I would go, how I would manage, prayed my old car lasted, or how to buy groceries and was too proud to ask for help. Before I left my house a large tree limb fell during a storm hitting the roof, oh and I was in foreclosure and scared. I couldn’t find affordable housing till one morning early I found a rental and did all I could to hide my food insecurities. I don’t look like one who struggled. All this to say, ask for help, use unemployment if you can, use food banks, sign up for families helping families if your town has this and know this, your situation is temporary. This my friend is building your muscles. Use your local library resources for free entertainment, live thin, know where the clearance shelves are at the grocery stores, ask for help. Look at universities or colleges near you and state jobs. A lot more secure then corporate. Please keep in touch and let us know how things are going. I discovered cash back programs and programs for receipts that you can redeem for gift cards. I know on Saturdays one grocery store marks down their produce. I’ve done it and it is survivable. You can and will get through. Prayers!

  5. Anonymous

    I just want to send some support to you. I know exactly how you feel. In the last three years, after sending countless resumes, I've had only three big interviews for salaried positions.

    Two of the major interviews had me moving on to a final interview, where I was one of four people they were considering.

    Nope. Didn't get either one, after jumping through hoop after hoop.

    The other one? I was offered the position via voicemail, as I was away from my phone when the employer reached out. I was guaranteed the job.

    I called back, received the hiring manager's voicemail, left a message, then emailed her as well.

    I was completely ghosted, seriously. She never bothered to call me back after offering me the job.

    I don't care what any potentate says on this website, ageism is real as well.

    I'm noticing that once I hit 55--I'm now 59--it was like I was suddenly cut off after great introductions and email replies, where I'm asked to send my resume.

    Vent away. What you are going through is the new normal for those of us who still need to work, and who can contribute so much.

    Yes, like you, I have thought about just saying, "My God, I NEED TO WORK like everybody else" to employers.

    At this point, I want to send a video of Elaine Stritch singing "I'm Still Here" along with my attached resume to any hiring manager. (If you don't know who Elaine Stritch was, just look up "I'm Still Here" on YouTube)

    I just want you to know you are not alone, and everything you posted is valid.

    Yes, I nod my head when you type, "...and everything I have worked so hard to achieve over the years seems to mean...nothing."

    That is so true. I'm sending you positive vibes, and just know you are not alone. It doesn't make what you are going through any easier, but you and I are in the same boat—which has a leak.

  6. Anonymous

    I’m sure it feels like you’re all alone in your situation, but you are not! I too was in a very similar situation. When I was in despair, I took a three week job at the post office, two months doing services and at a point, worked at a grocery store as well for almost 2 years until I got back on my feet (during Covid).

    During this time, my father said that I was coming across desperate, which hurt me terribly, but there were no truer words. It may sound cliché, but this too shall pass. Have faith, trust me it will get better!

    Be resilient, persevere… Best of luck to you and your family!

  7. Anonymous

    Is there another industry that utilizes your skills that you can land to temporarily while you’re searching? I took a local marketing role for a major retail company, working out of the store in my town. Honestly the work sucked, I had to do a lot of tasks that were retail oriented and it was a bit depressing to have landed there. I worked retail hours, which meant nights, holidays and weekends. But the pay was phenomenal and the health benefits were great. I was there 3 years before I landed back in my industry, I don’t miss the work but I miss the people. All this to say, it’s likely your skills could fit other industries where the market isn’t so saturated with talented, qualified applicants. Food for thought.

  8. Wanda Shaw

    My heart is breaking for you. It is defeating and deflating to be so close to a breakthrough and then…it all falls flat. I can’t or won’t even attempt to offer you advice about your job search because you’re not doing anything wrong. The saying ‘that for every no you receive, only means you’re getting that much closer to a yes’ may seem pointless right now but I believe it’s true. Your next job opportunity is on its way and it will be right on time and not a minute too late. Give yourself some grace in where you are right now. No things aren’t perfect by any stretch and there were and will be some tense moments and adjustments that have to be made while you’re waiting , but you and your children are out there swinging and making it work. I could only imagine that being a widow was a hard enough feat to tackle. And yet you’re still standing. I’m rooting for you. You’re going to make it through.

  9. Kris Wolfram

    Has anyone reviewed your resume lately or have you worked with a placement service? Happy to take a look or see if I can find some resources for you.

  10. Anonymous

    You say you are a widow. Did you not get SS for your children or life insurance? I don't think it's really fair that you have your kids helping you pay bills when they should probably be focusing on school.

  11. Anonymous

    Wow, talk about coming from a place of privilege. Is it fair? of course not but does it happen to a lot of people? Yes. My mom got divorced and I got my first job, 40 hrs a week, when I was 15 because the system is stacked against you.

    Not everyone has the luxury of being able to just have life go the way they want it but hey, you be your judgmental self and blame the person who is going through the hardship so that she can feel even shittier about herself.

  12. Anonymous

    First off, my mother became a widow after my father passed 40 years ago. She received his life insurance, pension and SS benefits for me and my two siblings. Unless something has changed in the way government works, she should be entitled to these benefits is all I'm saying. Do you understand?

  13. Anonymous

    WOW 40 years ago and you think things are still the same? The type of benefits hasn't changed and neither has the amount you get. The costs of everything else has gone up but sure. A single mom can make it off of widow's benefits.

    I'm also going to be that your mom never let you know exactly how hard she was struggling. But hey, keep judging based on your 40-year-old experience, that's still totally relevant.

  14. Anonymous

    I can't stand ignorance

  15. Anonymous

    I am new to this site, and as someone who is also struggling to find work after a long tenure as a highly skilled professional, I am horrified at your response. I normally don't react but your tone is unwarrented, and offeres no positive advice which I believe this platform was created for. There is no room here for this.

  16. Anonymous

    There was nothing about my tone that was negative. You are sensitive. I asked the poster a simple question with a comment.

  17. Anonymous

    Ok you've had multiple responses tell you that your response is horrible. If people are perceiving it at being horrible, it is. The problem here is you.

  18. Anonymous

    A compassionate and logical response would be to assess the current situation, and provide options to move forward efficiently. Criticizing past choices decisions which cannot be changed is not productive. Please keep this community positive and supportive.

  19. Anonymous

    The poster never answered my question. She can get assistance for her and her children in regards to her situation. I would never put my kids in a situation where they would have to help me pay bills if I'm a widow if there is assistance I can get to take care of us.

  20. Anonymous

    I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s clear you’ve worked incredibly hard, not just in your career but as a parent, and it’s devastating to feel like the odds are stacked against you despite all your efforts. The fact that you’ve kept pushing forward—taking on gigs, finding a grocery store job, and raising kids who are stepping up to help—shows remarkable strength and resilience. Please don’t see this as a reflection of your worth or your success as a mother. You’re doing everything you can in an impossible situation, and that’s something to be proud of, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

    It’s not failure on your part that’s causing this—there are systemic issues and uncontrollable circumstances at play. You clearly have incredible skills and experience, as evidenced by the recruiter’s feedback and your past achievements. Sometimes, these setbacks are more about timing or logistics than your abilities.

    I’m not sure if you’ve already explored this, but as a widow, you might be eligible for Social Security survivor benefits. If your spouse worked and paid into Social Security, you and your children might qualify for financial assistance. This could help provide some breathing room as you navigate this transition. The Social Security Administration website or a local SSA office could help you explore these options further.

    Since relocation seems to be a factor in some roles, have you considered remote positions that align with your skillset? There are platforms and companies actively seeking experienced professionals who can work from home.

    Your former CMO’s support is such a valuable asset. It might be worth asking them if they know of opportunities in their network or if they’d be willing to advocate directly on your behalf to potential employers.

    In the short term, exploring local nonprofits, government aid, or community organizations for housing, food, or utility assistance could help lighten the immediate load. Many areas also have workforce development programs that can provide job placement services tailored to your needs.

    There could also be side hustles or going into business for yourself / as a family - as a pivot.

    It’s okay to feel frustrated and disheartened—you’ve been through so much. But please don’t lose sight of everything you’ve accomplished and the incredible drive you’re showing now. Your kids are learning resilience and grit from your example, even if the situation feels unfair.

    Wishing you the best.

  21. Teri Anne Conrad

    So sorry things have been rough for you. You shouldn't blame yourself. Keep looking. Be honest about why if you haven't. Things will work out.

  22. rgstaffing@bellsouth.net

    what city do you live in and what kind of job?

  23. Anonymous

    Keep the faith, it's definitely not about you the public services available while not ideal are there for you to use in times of need. That is what they are there for. There is no shame in getting help. I don't know what kind of work you do so adding any more specific advice is hard but I will be sending good job search juju your way till then.

  24. Anonymous

    Have you tried a firm that places people in temp roles in your field? Not sure what field you are in or how big of a city but often you just need your foot in the door. Those kind of roles typically pay closer to what you would have made in a similar permanent position (hopefully more than the grocery store but may not be at your former compensation depending on size of company, field, etc.). My company often hires this way - sometimes we do temp to perm - knowing upfront we will convert the person to perm if they do a good job and sometimes we hire because we got another open and the temp is doing a great job.

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