Has anyone else ever been scared to ask for time off?

20 Comments

1. Jeslyn PattersonJanuary 23,2023 at 3:16PM UTC

   Do you have to ask? I use to be afraid to ask for time off; however, I learned that it's part of my position to take time off and I stopped asking. I simply say 'I'll be taking three days off' and tell them when. I hope this helps you somehow.

2. Paula Manczuk-HannayJanuary 24,2023 at 2:16PM UTC

   I was far too long in my career before I figured this out.

3. Vanda LeeJanuary 24,2023 at 4:16PM UTC

   I agree - If you've earned it and aren't leaving a support gap by giving plenty of notice for time off, just TELL your manager you will be taking X amount of PTO days on "month date- month date". This way you throw the ball in their court to let them come back and tell you no. Then my response would be " according to company policy, I have earned X amount of time off and am following policy". What if you had an illness or an accident and were hospitalized suddenly? They would make it... I can assure you. As long as you are a good performer and follow policy, don't let this mess with you psychologically! That's what your manager is attempting to do. PTO is yours, you've earned it - use it according to PUBLISHED company rules.

4. AnonymousJanuary 23,2023 at 3:17PM UTC

   NEVER been afraid to ask for time off and I'm not going to start.
   If you feel this way, I would sincerely get to the root of understanding why or what makes you feel this way.

   The company culture is one thing, but if this culture doesn't feel like a healthy one (and it sounds like it might not be?), then you don't deserve this. You definitely deserve to work in a place that supports your general well-being, regardless if you're working or taking time off. A company that doesn't support you taking time off (or makes you feel scared to ask for time off) is NO PLACE for anyone --- that's unhealthy and not safe.

   Please take some time to consider whether this is a right role fit for you. Your personal health and psychological safety are far more important. Take care of yourself and good luck!

5. AnonymousJanuary 23,2023 at 4:52PM UTC

   It sounds like this particular company culture has created this view of PTO as something frowned upon or discouraged so everyone understands that beyond a couple if days here and there and you are seen as the outlier.

   Culture is usually not something that changes easily or without leadership buy-in.

   I'm wondering if they would really let you go?

6. Lesa Edwards, Career Coach & Master Resume WriterJanuary 23,2023 at 6:37PM UTC

   There are facts and there are thoughts. If, for example, the company has a written policy about PTO...fact. If you've simply observed that people don't take more than a few days at a time...you may have turned that into a thought such as "The company frowns on employees using their PTO." Gather the facts...then ASK for the time off you need.

7. AnonymousJanuary 24,2023 at 4:19AM UTC

   You earned your accrued leave. It’s yours. Ask for the time off. (One exception: do not ask for longer leave during a peak work period for your company. Example: tax accounting company in March through April 15.)

   If your reasonable leave request is denied, you might want to consider looking for new opportunities.

8. ReachingGoalsJanuary 24,2023 at 1:52PM UTC

   Yes, and it sucks. Then I got old and just started telling them when I would be off. Never during “busy” season and I tried to give lots of notice. It may be time to seek a job somewhere else, although you never know if another company will be different. If you are given leave time it is part of your employment package and you should take it.

9. AnonymousJanuary 25,2023 at 2:32PM UTC

   Agreed. This is also one of the things I would ask about in second or third interviews - what's included in the benefits? and what is the policy regarding taking time off? If they ask why you want to now, you can say every company is different and you just want a clear picture.

10. AnonymousJanuary 24,2023 at 1:53PM UTC

    Check your employee handbook or talk with your direct manager about this. Some companies require 30 days' notice for vacation and doctor's notes for more than three days of sick time. There may be some prohibitions during high-activity times (for example, in a former company, we were prohibited during the first week of a quarter and the entire month of December. Of course, different positions had more of a chance of being granted an exception, especially during December, but since that was our peak sales time, most employees had some role in the sales cycles. If you need to take a week and have the accrued PTO available, talk with your manager, and they will probably approve, and if not, ask why. If co-workers have a problem with that, it's none of their business. You went through the proper channels.

    One other thought, some companies allow employees to "cash out" some or all of their unused PTO at the end of the year, so the "culture" you describe could be employees choosing to take advantage of the "cash-out" option rather than taking a break. If you are denied your PTO, ask if this is an option. It doesn't give you a long rest but compensates you for it.

    I've also been at places where people choose to take one day a week for the summer months rather than a lump-sum vacation. This allows them to take multiple day trips with their families and has them working part-time hours at full-time pay and benefits.

11. AnonymousJanuary 25,2023 at 5:46PM UTC

    I’m sure all of the options mentioned here are intended to be helpful and positive with a solution for someone who is “scared to get fired”… but they are solutions that encourage someone to disregard recharging with vacation the way it may be best for them and put the company ahead of themselves at all times, which isn’t healthy. I worked for a huge hospital for 7 years (great pay, great benefits, horribly stressful and demeaning work culture) With the same intimidating energy surrounding PTO - I literally never took a full week of vacation in all those years. I finally quit and snagged a job for even higher pay and a much better culture a month later. If you DO get fired for taking a full vacation with your hard earned PTO - they’ll have to pay you unemployment while you look for work (The only time an employer doesn’t have to pay unemployment for firing an employee is when there is theft or violence - I’m in HR, I know). I’m not encouraging you to get fired, I’m simply saying that’s unlikely. However, if you do take your full vacation, your Manager may retaliate by making things very stressful and uncomfortable for you. My suggestion is that while you still have a job, look for a new one and quickly get out of there. To me, the culture your experiencing is completely unacceptable.

12. AnonymousJanuary 25,2023 at 10:40PM UTC

    Please don't misunderstand. I was not encouraging the OP NOT to take her PTO, just providing possible explanations for what she perceives as a culture surrounding taking PTO at her company. Other people not taking their PTO and cashing out or taking one day a week during the summer and then burning out is on them. Everyone should know and understand what is required for them to recharge. I worked for a company long enough to be awarded four weeks of vacation each year, and honestly had a hard time taking it all, so I ended up "recharging" by taking two weeks at a time (which was nice for a long road trip or a summer cruise). I couldn't manage by doing the one-day-a-week thing, as I needed a longer recharge, but if it works for someone else, it's not for me to judge. All I was saying was it might not be culture or company mandate but other people's choices. You are correct that being discouraged from or disciplined for taking hard-earned PTO is unacceptable and likely against labor laws.

13. AnonymousJanuary 24,2023 at 1:55PM UTC

    If you have PTO, nothing to be scared of. If you don't have any earned time off, then that may be another story. Communication goes a long way. If you are a support person who's time off affects the entire team, talk to your team and make sure your bases are covered when you are gone. . If you find yourself being scared of using your company's benefits, you might consider looking for a company that has a better culture,

14. AnonymousJanuary 24,2023 at 2:33PM UTC

    While there are great comments below, I offer a story to let you know you are not alone!

    I worked at a company that had permissive time off, which in theory sounds great until you realize that means you have zero guaranteed days above and beyond corporate holidays. In theory it is to give employees flexibility as needed, but bad managers take advantage. I was in a senior role and doing the job of 2+ people (successfully I might add) and had my manager say to me "you aren't going to take anymore time off are you?" after I took all of 4 personal/vacation days during the January-July time frame. Given that all of my vacation time had to be approved by her I worked the rest of July until I took my new job in December without even trying to get a personal day due to the hostile environment created by the manager.

    You are not alone!

15. AnonymousJanuary 24,2023 at 2:42PM UTC

    Welcome to corporate life. Management tries to make the employees feel like they 'owe' the company their loyalty constantly. But the door only swings one way. Get over the guilt. If you fell over dead tomorrow, they'd replace you in a heartbeat.

16. AnonymousJanuary 24,2023 at 3:16PM UTC

    I never get scared to ask for time off because I care way more about my personal life than work, but my partner totally feels the same way that you do and i empathize because it's drilled into us societally that we have to be productive at all times. I encourage you to take all the time you need and want, you are probably a great worker and you deserve it. <3

17. AnonymousJanuary 24,2023 at 5:50PM UTC

    Get over it! If that is the culture of where you work you should rethink continuing your career there. A good company appreciates work life balance and keeping their employees welfare top of mind. As long as your longer time does not affect the business in a negative way do what you need to, to refresh and sharpen yourself for when you come back.

18. Jennifer FingerJanuary 24,2023 at 10:36PM UTC

    There have been times when I have been nervous about asking for time off, particularly when I needed to do soon after starting a job or during a busy work period, but when it needs to be done, I realize that I have to speak up for me, because there isn't anyone else to do it! Then again, I have had issues where my relatives organized or wanted to organize major family events during tax seasons (I am a CPA) and I wouldn't have been able to take the time off even had I wanted to. In fact, I have such an issue later this year when a cousin is getting married in early October, which is the tail end of tax season and I may not be able to get time off. I can only hope!

19. KelleyJanuary 25,2023 at 1:20PM UTC

    Work-life balance is important. If you need to take some time then take it. You vacation time to use it. If there’s a chance of being fired when you have earned the time to be able to take off, perhaps it’s not the right company to be working for.

20. AnonymousJanuary 25,2023 at 11:16PM UTC

    At my job people call off like crazy. Taking long lunches and leaving early. I’m the opposite kinda of.