Joined a team where a junior staff member creates drama, lies and throws me under the bus so she looks superior. I am not her manager but I am higher than her and this combative situation is becoming a daily obstacle. I spend so much putting out fires that she’s causing that it’s taking a toll mentally and impacting my work. I’ve tried talking to her manager but he’s not concerned and because if that lenancy, she’s increased her attacks. While she’s at least 20 years junior in terms of age and experience, I wonder if she applied for my role and was rejected.

27 Comments

1. AnonymousJune 26,2024 at 7:01PM UTC

   Document, document, document!!! Times, dates and actions. There is no reason for people to be that way in the work place, ever.

2. AnonymousJune 27,2024 at 8:02PM UTC

   I have everything documented and a printed version for my records. I can tell what’s coming and need to protect myself. I can deal with any truthful matters but it’s the lies I fear. She makes up stories to enhance her claims to get people on her side. I have to defend myself every day and I can’t see either the combative situation or my time here lasting much longer. She’s declared war ever since I joined and knows they won’t do anything to address the problems. I found out there’s been 5 staff members in my role in under 2 years. It’s a good salary for the area but at this point, the daily stress isn’t worth a higher paycheck. I started job searching and would rather have a lower salary and a better work environment. Life is too short to be this stressed!

3. AnonymousJune 26,2024 at 7:47PM UTC

   Agree with below document everything. Go to your HRBP and let them know the situation and that the manager of this person doesn't see the issue. Not that they can do much but investigate and keep a paper trail but they can at least guide you through how the company would address the situation.

4. AnonymousJune 27,2024 at 7:54PM UTC

   Thank you and I am documenting everything! We don’t have an HR team that handles issues and it’s up to the departments. I’ve addressed with my boss, his any any relevant staff but since it doesn’t personally impact their job, they won’t step in…this is my first time, I haven’t had the autonomy to address the situation. She’s been able to do her own thing for years and I can tell that my being there, impacts her position due to my seniority. I’ve tried working with her, extending an olive branch but it’s snapped every day in under 30 minutes. This continues all day and by the end, I’m emotionally and physically exhausted.

5. AnonymousJune 28,2024 at 9:05PM UTC

   This could get ugly. Tell your boss, look, if you do not step in I will have no choice but to consult an employment attorney. I'm getting harassed on a daily basis, I've asked you for help but cannot get what I need here. Document every single detail, follow up with an email after your talks to highlight the conversation. BCC yourself to your personal email address then get out. Get your resume brushed up, post it to Indeed and every job board, get connected to a recruiter and see if they can help you.

6. AnonymousJune 26,2024 at 8:00PM UTC

   Not only document, document, document, but take it to HR. I was fired last week, because I didn't take a similar individual to HR. Uper management knew she was a problem. She had been rejected from my position twice and routinely fought against everyone in the position. I put my conflict resolution skills to work and thought we had moved into a better space. She was going behind my back still causing drama. My upline never came to me and said a word. She was there longer than me and I had not taken her to HR, so I was out. Good luck!

7. AnonymousJune 27,2024 at 7:47PM UTC

   I’m sorry you faced this situation and its outcome. That’s my concern & if it wasn’t routinely getting into serious consequences, I’d let it go. My boss refuses to step in and her boss won’t do anything fearing she’d lose her assistant and the have to take on her workload.

   We don’t have a dedicated HR office and rather associates who handle benefits and recruiting. There isn’t anyone to go to in terms of employment issues. There’s actually a joke regarding what HR team while they all state employee experience but don’t handle department issues.

   My boss and AVP refuse to do anything so I fear it’s time to start looking while stocking up for a glass of wine at night! I wish you all the best in finding a better role!

8. AnonymousJune 27,2024 at 8:20PM UTC

   Yes, I would leave because she has extreme clout at your company and this will only escalate.

9. AnonymousJune 26,2024 at 8:06PM UTC

   I don't understand why you are not going to your boss?

   Clearly you don't have tge authority to address this but your boss does.

   Otherwise reconsider your attitude and allow these "fires" to burn.

   Reconsidering working there? This company isn't Aware of anything going on. They are not supporting anything because you have only let her boss know and he has deemed her behavior as no big deal.

   If you let the food chain understand and then make a judgment against any complaints you may have....then yes you will need to leave as you out not in alignment with the leadership.

   But at least give communication a shot.

10. AnonymousJune 27,2024 at 7:39PM UTC

    I have went to my boss and even address the issue with his. When the problem worsened. They know she causes drama but refuse to stop the behavior.

    We don’t have a real HR team so there’s not anyone to go to on that front so I feel myself treading water every day without a lifeline. The reconsidering working here is actually less about her than my boss and management. I don’t feel supported or confident they will deal with the situation.

    I addressed this situation in writing, in person and emailed that this behavior needs to be addressed and if not by her manager, HR or senior leaders.

    I’ve confronted her as well as discussed the best way to work together. She actually stuck her tongue out and said make me, you’re not my manager and they won’t do anything to stop the situation.

    During all my years working, I’ve never dealt with level of childish yet mixed with mean girl behavior. Even a simple email requesting something from my boss turns into three or four hours of taking the request up the chain to deliver a response that she doesn’t need to do it to avoid dealing with her and then the situation worsens as she’s won.

    I’ve brought this issue to my boss and he doesn’t want to deal with her or office politics with her boss so he won’t stand up for me even if it was under his request.

    If I had others backing it wouldn’t be so problematic but I fear that if this goes untreated, it will eventually lead to my firing as she’s making up lies when she doesn’t get her way.

11. AnonymousJune 28,2024 at 9:01PM UTC

    If you are in a right to work state, they can let you go at a moment's notice. Who wants to work with this child? It's not daycare. It's also probably not bringing the best out of you. Go to another place that will be more appreciative of your work, help you and support you through challenges and a company that will make change happen. Otherwise, you are just on a wheel that will never stop turning.

12. AnonymousJune 26,2024 at 9:04PM UTC

    She's the pet. Unless others are impacted by her actions you will be fighting a losing battle. She wants you gone.

13. AnonymousJune 27,2024 at 7:22PM UTC

    That’s my theory as well and other team members are specialized in their roles and are rarely impacted. I’m directly above her in terms of level but not her line manager.. She’s fighting ever to make sure I’m out the door.

14. AnonymousJune 27,2024 at 12:20AM UTC

    Maybe she doesn’t understand the procedure for effective escalations. I encountered someone the other day who asked me how to send a status update. Yes. These early career folks have lots of questions that we take for granted. Maybe it’s a teachable moment?

15. AnonymousJune 27,2024 at 8:20PM UTC

    I was hoping that was the case and took her aside to address the situation privately.i approached it from the stance of devising the best way to work together and current procedures. She wants it her way and refused to do anything else even if a senior team member requests action. Now that she’s working with her boss, she feels protected to get away with only skating by and refuses to work as a team. It’s putting me in a difficult situation as I’m not her manager but more senior.

    When requesting her assistance, I lead from the stance of who is requesting her support and even that doesn’t work. I’m not asking her to do my work but what’s requested from senior leadership and it turns into a long drawn out battle. If I had access to the work, it would be easier to myself and avoid the conflict.but It needs to come from her team.

    Rather than deal with the issue, the original requester lets it go and she sits back with a grin that she won!

16. AnonymousJune 28,2024 at 8:57PM UTC

    She must have something on the higher ups. Her behavior is usually cause for dismissal. If you can't get your work done, if you are miserable, brush up the resume and get out. How many others has she had problems with? I think this is not new behavior but one in which they tolerate.

17. AnonymousJune 27,2024 at 12:21AM UTC

    Perhaps send an email to your boss noting the circumstances. This can be used as evidence for a pip if the boss feels her performance is not great.

18. AnonymousJune 27,2024 at 8:08PM UTC

    Thank you and I’ve tried that approach and followed up with recent examples. My boss doesn’t deal with conflict and would rather ignore the erupting matter. He wants to stay on her boss’ good side as I work in an ‘old’ boy’s club. Without having a HR team, I feel that I’m out of options. I’ve started job searching but this area doesn’t have a lot of jobs and especially in my industry.

19. AnonymousJune 28,2024 at 8:52PM UTC

    What is your job and industry and I'll send suggestions. I am connected to a ton of companies. In general what is your job, type of work you seek and geographical location in general you are willing to work. You deserve better. And I'm southern, live and work in the south and a good ole boy state. I understand exactly what you mean.

20. AnonymousJune 27,2024 at 8:24PM UTC

    Love the ‘little bug’ reference and tried last week to no avail. They don’t want to rock the boat with her boss and mine won’t intercede. He hates conflict and I work at an old boys club! I finally decided to post on FGB as I feel out of options. In a better job market, I would have already left but still searching for another option.

21. AnonymousJune 28,2024 at 8:58PM UTC

    Then let us help you. I posted earlier, let us know what you do, your skills, and general location you want to work and let us help you with ideas. If you would like.

22. AnonymousJune 27,2024 at 10:12PM UTC

    Get your resume spruced up and go work in a more fertile environment that is not so toxic. But while you're there, set a meeting with your boss. Then set a meeting with your boss, HR and their boss. If that doesn't work, contact an employment attorney and I promise you, one phone call, and they will fix it. No company wants a law suit. But in the meantime, get yourself out of there as soon as you can find another job. I bet you're not the only one who has left because of this problem.

23. Teff AyralJune 28,2024 at 12:40PM UTC

    Report her to HR before she reports you. Document your effort to resolve the situation and describe that it’s creating a hostile environment for you. This really shouldn’t be tolerated in the workforce at this point in time. And you’re right if it’s unbearable there are plenty of amazing companies that don’t tolerate bullying.

24. Sue Gordon- retired Career CoachJune 28,2024 at 12:55PM UTC

    It's not clear if you've spoken to YOUR boss? And as others have said document each "fire" she starts. Talk to your boss first, then HR.

    And, in parallel,start a job search.

25. AnonymousJune 28,2024 at 8:44PM UTC

    Another suggestion is to tell the person when she attacts you in front of others, I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand your tone. Also, you can say, hmm... I'm not sure what your beef is with me, but in the future, if you want to talk with me, I will expect only respect. If you are not able to do that, I'm happy to sit in a meeting with our bosses to have a respectful conversation or with HR. Your choice. She sounds like a twit. And sometimes it's not age related, it's just people are shallow, childlike and at their office they like to show their clout. She has none. Honestly, I'd be looking for a new job elsewhere. Keep us posted and hang in there!

26. AnonymousJune 28,2024 at 8:47PM UTC

    Seek work elsewhere that is a more fertile environment. I mentioned below, I think she's a twit. And one that seems entitled and clearly doesn't like you. Does she even get along with anyone? She's young, dumb, and will learn by her mistakes. She's making mistakes now and your company seems to tolerate the imp. Sorry but noone should ever have to endure that kind of crazy.

27. AnonymousJuly 7,2024 at 2:57AM UTC

    Junior is testing what she can get away with. Clearly her manager isn't interested in addressing the bad behavior, so I agree with the others who advise you to document as much as you can and promptly speak to someone high enough in HR to address this harassment. Wouldn't be surprised if Junior doesn't get a lot of work done, they're so busy planning and creating problems. As they say, protect your professional reputation fiercely.