Three harassment experiences in a row.

14 Comments

1. AnonymousMay 24,2024 at 6:04PM UTC

   Something isn't making sense about your post. You have the most technical experience and qualifications but can't figure out how to complete tasks in a non-ideal setting?

   If this is truly your third harassment experience in a row and you're telling us that all three employers have given you impossible tasks without the proper tools, its time to try something different. Unfortunately, you're the common denominator here.

   When we go into the work place and boast of technical knowledge and qualifications, employers expect us to be resourceful, to figure out a way to complete projects and deliver....even in tenuous environments.

   I sense the most recent employer was targeting you anyway, and looking for a reason to get rid of you. What else is going on at each of these jobs? Are there personality conflicts, performance issues? I'm sorry, it's difficult to believe that you've experienced the same exact thing at three different jobs in short order.

2. AnonymousMay 24,2024 at 7:07PM UTC

   I think you are leaving a lot out. The events leading up to termination did not just suddenly happen in a vacuum. There were reprimands, or writeups and comments and a series of escalation so without an honest description of your part, it's hard to help. Sorry.

3. AnonymousMay 25,2024 at 1:34PM UTC

   Absolutely this....

   I had to let a temp go recently. He called everyone here telling him that I let him go because he was sick and in the emergency room and was a no call no show...

   This happened at the end of March and he started January 2nd. He didn't bother to tell anyone about the 15 other call ins or the 2 previous no call no shows (that I gave him the benefit of the doubt on).

   I had written him up in the discipline plan (verbal, written, final written) and this was it.

   He kept saying he didn't have access to his phone (I called him and texted him several times). When I sent the email to the temp agency and they forwarded it to him, suddenly his phone was available and he called about 200 times.

4. AnonymousMay 25,2024 at 2:12PM UTC

   This reply is not true. Progressive discipline does not happen in all industries. While it should, it doesn't and there's no legal requirement that it has to.

5. AnonymousMay 26,2024 at 1:11PM UTC

   But a termination, much less 3, doesnt happen out of the blue without a single comment or correction. Sorry that just doesn't happen in real life.

6. AnonymousMay 24,2024 at 7:25PM UTC

   Sorry to read this but I have made a similar experience: 3 toxic workplaces within 3 years. This led to believe that there is something completely wrong with me. But right now I am working at a very harmonious workplace where I feel appreciated and I can tell that I had bad lack with my former 3 workplaces that looked like this:

   Every of these positions was hard to be filled, my predecessors were burnt-out and they quit. And I was very desperate for a job because I have dept. So I took the first offers I got. The rest is history: at one workplace I experienced a burnout, at another I quit after 3 months because I didn't receive any paychecks and the manager was screaming at me because he was afraid I would get his position. In the third place I experienced scapegoating and gaslighting from the owner, mostly because the rest of the team and the costumers liked me. This guy didn't need a good employee but someone who would tell him how good he is... And I was not fillfulling his needs but telling him the truth.

   I can only guess: If you are a female, a person of colour or having any special conditions, too talented in your area, too appreciatiated by someone from the team or your clients or somehow a threat for your boss then chances are that that's the reason for your experiences.

   Anyway, you would need to provide more information in order to understand better. What is it in your case?

7. AnonymousMay 24,2024 at 8:09PM UTC

   Oh my I read this and can relate "This guy didn't need a good employee but someone who would tell him how good he is... And I was not fillfulling his needs but telling him the truth." I had a company that also had an owner who was more concerned about his looks and his material possessions than he did his company. There are creeps out there. I still work with difficult people but it's tolerable when others see the same exact thing . What is wrong with people who manage others? Most managers have no business managing other people. Period. So much jealousy, low self esteem, inappropriate comments.

8. AnonymousMay 25,2024 at 1:05AM UTC

   It’s hard to say. But one thing is: are all the work environments the same? As in, “start up” type culture? Perhaps you are seeking work in the same type of environment though it isn’t a fit for you? Some folks thrive in a work environment where roles, procedures and tools are very well established. Others thrive in bringing their expertise to an entrepreneurial environment where they can establish the tools and mechanisms. You mention that the role(s) didn’t have the tools.

   Without more information, I wonder if you are seeking a culture that is a mid-match for you?

9. AnonymousMay 25,2024 at 2:26PM UTC

   This is a good point, particularly about startups. The other important thing about startups is that they are often indeed chaotic and you do not have well-developed leadership and people management. That can indeed result in situations where you do not get the support you need to be successful in your job. Those environments also tend to be more clicky and it becomes a matter of who you know more than what you know.

10. AnonymousMay 25,2024 at 2:17PM UTC

    First, be kind to yourself. Next, it is not a foregone conclusion that you're doing anything wrong. There are many factors involved in the workplaces you're choosing that may be contributing to your unexpected endings. For the people suspicious of the "rest of the story," pay them absolutely NO mind. While some have had the benefit of working in the same place for a long time, or being people identifying as majority, workplace dynamics now are at an all-time high for toxicity. The reality is that most companies do not invest in leadership development anymore. That has devolved into many people in managerial positions who do not have the maturity, skills, or capabilities to effectively coach and develop employees. That's where people like you come in. Sometimes your manager will even be jealous of you because you are highly skilled and they feel they need to demonstrate they know more than you.

    Please don't beat up on yourself. It is valuable to take a step back and talk to a trusted friend or even a professional therapist about your experiences so that you can understand if there are indeed any factors that you are directly causing. But my guess is that you are NOT at fault. It is a complete garbage show in many workplace today unfortunately. And that is x 10 for women of color in particular. For your next role, you might want to try to find a place where someone can be your sponsor as you go in. Also do a lot more due diligence with true friends and connections about the work environment at places where you're considering working before you join. Still, sometimes we can do all those things and it still doesn't work out, but it can help you be more prepared for what to expect. Good luck to you and keep your head up!

11. GirlBossanova934974May 26,2024 at 12:34PM UTC

    Without more details here, it is very difficult to make any sort of assessment. The circumstances are almost unknown here but just guessing, it appears you may be working in the TECH industry. TECH is to avoided these days and not just for harassment reasons. Too many layoffs and too many very inexperienced management teams trying to appease very short term speculators. Reputations of companies that took years and decades to build are being trashed each and every day. In that sort of environment, just about anyone can be thrown under the bus for any reason. Companies at that point and time act like roving cliques of high school jocks and cheerleaders.

12. AnonymousMay 26,2024 at 5:27PM UTC

    This sort of beats the odds? I would ask you close friends what you do to sabotage yourself.

13. AnonymousJune 3,2024 at 3:11PM UTC

    Such as situation is called a "constructive dismissal'. You are being set up for a (un)justifiable firing. Although, if you hire a lawyer, it will be obvious in court that this was undermining your position with intention for fire. First - do you wish to continue to work for this company? If yes, then f you trust HR (as they are always on the side of the company) you can discuss this with them. If you don't, hire a lawyer. If you don't want to stay anyhow, just hang in until you find another job.

14. AnonymousJune 10,2024 at 5:29PM UTC

    They're not trying to fire you. They're trying to get you to leave. They'll win but you can document and threaten law suite, and possibly get a severance package.