I've become completely uninterested in my job

Anonymous

May 30,2023 at 11:11AM UTC

Welcome to Fairygodboss!

We’re the largest online career community helping women achieve their career goals. Gain access to articles, jobs, events, and a supportive network of women and allies. Membership is free, always.

I've become completely uninterested in my job

Bit of a long one so bear with me. I've worked for this organisation for 14 years and the whole time this place has been infamous for workplace bullying; in 2014 it was ranked top in the sector for it. Despite many staff feeding back about it over the years, absolutely nothing has changed aside from a marked increase in what's called Wellbeing Washing; lots of posters and corporate slogans about respect and kindness. However senior management still continue to employ and promote people with demonstrable track records in constructive dismissal, bullying and abuse. It's reached a point now where you have two camps; one camp who come here, are appalled by people's conduct and immediately leave, and the other (my camp) who have just become kind of numb to it all (thanks, Sertraline).

The problem is I work in a part of the country where roles paying what I'm on are incredibly thin on the ground and it'll be at least a couple of years before I could conceivably work elsewhere for less money (I have family caring responsibilities so relocation is off the table at the moment).

We recently restructured and I've been put into a role that pays more than I've ever made before and it's a new role which is (or should be) quite exciting as it means I can kind of make of it what I want. However after 14 years of endless abuse, politics and toxicity I just don't mentally have the drive to care. I have no loyalty to this place any more, I take no pride in the work I do because this is a place that rewards politicians and not hard work.

I need to work out a way I can muster up the energy and motivation for a couple of years to do this job and then I can leave and never, ever come back. How do you regain your mojo after 14 years of endless abuse and being made to feel meaningless? It might be a new job but I still report up to the same scumbags who've made this place hell for so many good people.

Why women love us:

Daily articles on career topics
Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
Advice and support from an authentic community
Events that help you level up in your career
Free membership, always

12 comments

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

12 Comments

Join the conversation

AnonymousMay 30,2023 at 12:17PM UTC
I think you know the answer since you’ve managed it for this long - but it’s going to be all about the mindset you decide to adopt over the next couple years, which includes visualizing what your next role is going to be and where.
Make a plan and write it down, including the jokes you’ll tell yourself to keep a smile on your face every time you feel the demoralization setting in. Basically - make an escape plan and know this is not permanent.
AnonymousMay 30,2023 at 12:18PM UTC
The first step is everyday writing down 5 good things about the job (golds about the job if you will). They need to be different everyday. The harder it is to find the new golds - the more it will actually help you. This will start to change your mindset and the energy around you.
I was in a similar situation with my job and my first gold was “this is an excellent place to take some risks and make mistakes” because my performance was already so above everyone else’s it wouldn’t even be noticed. My entire situation changed within a month of starting this exercise. 5 new golds every day for a month. ? you can do it!
AnonymousMay 30,2023 at 12:38PM UTC
Practically, I'd suggest you just focus every day on what you're going to do when 2 years are up, and you focus on using all the knowledge you have gained over 14 years about how to navigate the politics and abuse. Where you can make a difference, you go for it. Where you can't, you accept it. If it is any consolation, anyone who has stayed anywhere for more than 5 years has learned to take the rough with the smooth, and it is very common for those people to have stayed in role/organisation for reasons other than enjoying it.
For your next role, you're looking for an organisation that pays in the second quartile. Organisations that pay in the top quartile always have internal problems - they pay out those big salaries for a reason, right? - but those in the second quartile have fewer internal problems, but are nevertheless still demanding places to work that offer employees satisfaction and growth. Q2 salaries are the ones we aim for when we want to work hard, but not be "beasted" into submission by stupid hours, stupider politics and even stupider leadership.
AnonymousMay 30,2023 at 12:41PM UTC
Same here
Jennifer ZamarinMay 30,2023 at 12:56PM UTC
It sounds like you are experiencing burnout on a whole different level. It may be helpful to get some therapy to help give you the skills you need to navigate this toxic environment. Depression is a common response to feeling powerless over your situation.
Only you can say when enough is enough. Set a date when you will exit and start forming a plan. There are other organization who would love to have your experience. Focus on self-care and things that bring you joy. It might also be helpful to get a job coach and focus on what you can learn from this situation and prepare yourself for your next career move. Your job coach can get you back in touch with the reasons you used to love what you do.
AnonymousMay 30,2023 at 2:31PM UTC
This sounds like burnout, and then some. When I found myself in a similar position, someone advised that I do something, anything, each daily (or week, whatever felt manageable) related to the next chapter. Small steps made the current reality seem less daunting. Even just reminding myself that it's only for "x" amount more time made a big difference. Therapy may help, as they can offer tools for reframing how you think about the office and the people in it, and in my case, I found it useful for getting through the days I just had to power through until I was able to make a change. Now that I'm on the other side, I can say, it gets better. Best of luck to you.
AnonymousMay 30,2023 at 6:52PM UTC
This behavior is a reflection of leadership. It is rewarded and incentivized. So acceptance is your only survival tool if you choose to waste anymore time and energy there. You've been there for so long, you should be able to hang on for a few more years.
Kimberley Ferretti HammettMay 30,2023 at 8:00PM UTC
I agree with the previous commenter, it sounds like you are experiencing or on the edge of burnout. Burnout is not just about the amount of work you do, but a certain type has more to do with the type of work you are focusing on. The emotional labor of navigating the politics and trying to stay positive in a negative situation can be draining and for some, more than others.
If this idea sits right with you, take stock in some of the things about this job that really drain you and what are some pieces that excite you or even the types of things that used to energize you. Take a look at the patterns you see. For example, maybe you feel most drained from feeling helpless and you wish you could at least have an impact on the culture. And maybe you've felt the most at-ease and in the flow when you were working on a creative projects. Then take those things you see and determine if you can purposefully and strategically insert them into your life in other ways. Cannot change the negativity at work? Pickup a volunteer shift now and then that allows you to see immediately a positive impact you're creating. Maybe take on a mentee at work and help them get through the muck as well. Energized by creativity? Maybe you don't care about the outcome but motivate yourself through work by getting as creative as you want in your role. Maybe you can pick up a creative hobby at home.
It may seem counterintuitive but some times (not always but more than most people think) adding something to your plate can actually be really really helpful. The best way I've ever heard this explained is a cake metaphor. If you're baking a cake and you accidentally add double the salt, you can bake it as is and have the entire cake ruined for the whole party, or you can add more sugar and eggs and flour and you'll have more than the party needs but it will be more enjoyable. Reflect and consider finding space for a little more sugar in your life ;)
Good luck!
AnonymousMay 31,2023 at 12:38PM UTC
I couldn’t agree with you more all the signs, hostile work environment, sexual-harassment, unacceptable discrimination, all the training, and yet they were those who commit these in fractions and break the rules and leader ship does nothing. I believe these smokescreens and the training companies make mandatory and pretending to care about what happens when they really are trying to a certain extent to prevent lawsuits. I couldn’t be happier to have left corporate America about a year ago I watch my daughters struggle with all the red tape and BS and it’s sickening.
AnonymousMay 31,2023 at 2:14PM UTC
You are certainly not alone and I’m so tired of reading this behavior from companies becoming the overarching way. Something MUST change as I think this will lead to some serious mental breakdown of workers in society. I fear for the kids coming out of college and being exposed to the toxicity that has become the workplace norm. Nothing is done about it and all the fluff posters and caring emails do nothing to make it better. I’m in agreement with you and the hundreds of others that wrote the same thing with no end in sight.
AnonymousMay 31,2023 at 6:36PM UTC
you kind of can't you seem to have sold your soul to the devil so the only suggestion should you be personally unable to leave due to $ and location issues is do something to feed that soul when you are not at work. Use the companies EAP program ( assuming they have one?) and any other financial or educational perks they offer to you. Then do a conscious unplugging at the end of each day. If you work at home put a lamp on your desk and each morning turn it on when going to work and end of day turn it off and close your office door. Don't do a single thing outside of work hours once that light goes off. If you are in an office try to do the same. It may sound silly but its something to do to visualize the unplug. Be the one when in the office that is always smiling through it all and take care of anyone who reports to you. They will be your biggest advocates for when you do move on and need super references. And breathe, if you can meditate and stay calm when all about you are losing their heads then you win the day, every day.
AnonymousMay 31,2023 at 7:14PM UTC
Does your company have an EAP? If so, please call them and try to get into a couple of sessions to determine if mental health counseling would benefit you. I agree that you are either on the way to burnout or have already arrived. If your company does not have an EAP. Check with your insurance carrier to see if they can recommend a mental health counselor. It may be something that just a few sessions can help you get through or something that requires more extreme measures. Only a qualified mental health practitioner can tell you which it is.