Self-care vs Basic Needs

Anonymous

December 30,2021 at 1:27PM UTC

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Self-care vs Basic Needs

I told myself I need to master the basics of self-care before I go any further. However, I’m not sure I’m clear on this particular “buzz word”.

What are the basics? For me, this includes:

1. Getting the proper rest. (Actually go to sleep every night.) I have a huge problem with insomnia.

2. Drinking more water.

3. Eating at least three times a day. I’m notorious for skipping meals and forgetting to eat.

4. Get back to having a healthy, regular workout regimen.

Thinking through this prompted the following question…

Is the above list really self-care or me doing a better job of taking care of my basic needs? Are these interchangeable?

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Crystal RhinebergerDecember 30,2021 at 1:49PM UTC
This is a grea tlist! Sometimes I have to explain to my son that I am doing a basic needs activity… whatever it is can wait like 8 mins…
In the workplace though, Im a constant offender st putting off any need because well… there’s a task
AnonymousDecember 30,2021 at 2:23PM UTC
Yes. I'm a mother of 3 so I totally get it. It's definitely a process to switch how we think and focus on taking care of ourselves first.
AnonymousDecember 30,2021 at 1:50PM UTC
Balance. So many people become enmeshed with their work roles. Leave work on time. Carve out self time.
Suraya NgobeniDecember 30,2021 at 2:06PM UTC
Hi Britney,Our very basic needs are always over looked, although your list is short and seems basic. How much time do you actually take to invest in your self, to actually feel good and to take a moment to love yourself without any interruptions.
AnonymousDecember 30,2021 at 2:22PM UTC
Great question! I have 3 kids under 10 so it's been difficult to process. I am just starting to take a step back and hold myself accountable to taking care of me.
AnonymousDecember 30,2021 at 2:54PM UTC
Telling yourself that you are perfect over and over. Not that any of these people will ever be perfect, but getting other supposedly perfect people to believe it, despite your complete lack of skills, seems to be the KPI.
This is why introverted people are not welcome in the workplace. They don't want people who actually like to do work. That want people who babble endlessly about what they "intend" to do.
The fact that it is one of the Buzz words du jour (along with Mindfulness) tells you all you need to know.
AnonymousDecember 30,2021 at 3:08PM UTC
Selfcare is a broad acronym I think that includes basic needs but also includes anything that supports good mental, spiritual and physical health.
That may include mani/pedis, massages, a private yoga instruction, a walk in nature, time spent day dreaming.
In my mind, any activity that creates, supports and/or enhances wellbeing and health is Selfcare.
Tamekia YoungDecember 30,2021 at 3:20PM UTC
Hello Britney! Great question! In my opinion they are not interchangeable. Self-care is about refueling and recharging from everyday stressors that you may encounter. And it may not be stressors, it may you need to some new ideas, thoughts, a new vision because have a cloudy head. May it be from parenthood, being a spouse, your career, taking care of an elderly parent, or what have you. Self-care is asking for what you need. "What Can I actively do to care for myself." What that look like for me is taking time out and stepping away from being a parent/wife for the time I need and discuss with my family. During this time, I go sit in a library and read a good book, go pamper myself, shopping, take myself out to a nice dinner, weekend trip with my girlfriends, etc.
AnonymousDecember 30,2021 at 6:25PM UTC
Yes!
This makes a lot of sense and is exactly gave me pause as I was thinking through my list.
Jennifer KaufmanDecember 30,2021 at 3:32PM UTC
I consider those to be basic needs. Self-care might include massages, getting a facial, treating yourself to a cute new outfit, eating a tasty dessert, and so on.
Dawn S. CrossDecember 30,2021 at 7:21PM UTC
Why do we, as women, feel the need to differentiate between “self-care” and “basic needs”.
Do they not go hand in hand?
You feel and do your best when you take care of yourself - sleep, eating, taking some down time to recharge.
A quote that speaks to me at this time is -
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for awhile, including you.”
Take a moment and look at the list you have - is it just basic needs (sleeping well) or self-care (sleeping well).
Or are they the same, but with a different context - sleeping well is a basic need so you can do your best, which is also part of your self-care
Britney MorganJanuary 2,2022 at 2:03PM UTC
Good point. Similar to what Kris stated above, it can be looked at as a balance of both.
AnonymousDecember 31,2021 at 6:35AM UTC
I personally think of the two terms as interchangeable. But I think society uses the term “self care” to imply a bit of indulgence which is why I think you sense there is a difference. Ultimately this is just such a personal topic and I think to be your best you have to do a bit of both probably (the ‘basic’ kind and the more ‘indulgent’ kind)
Kris Mertins-ElliottDecember 31,2021 at 11:53AM UTC
As another comment mentioned, I think self-care includes a balance of both. I feel it is about more than just getting your "basic" needs. Not that you need to "indulge" in extravagance all the time, necessarily, but doing what you need that makes you feel rested and recharged. That might simply be taking a mental health day to do whatever makes you happy. It could be a mani/pedi, re-organizing your closet, shopping or just to lay in bed and binge-watch a show you've been wanting to catch-up on without feeling the guilt of not being "productive".
As for your insomnia, try melatonin, chamomile tea, essential oils in a diffuser, reading, or something else that relaxes you at bedtime. No soda or caffeine after dinner.
Good luck and take care of yourself!
Britney MorganJanuary 2,2022 at 2:01PM UTC
Looking at self care as a balance of both makes sense. It’s about the end goal of feeling rested and recharged physically and mentally. Love this!
Thanks for the insomnia tips. Going to look into a diffuser.
AnonymousJanuary 8,2022 at 3:14PM UTC
In other words, adulting?
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, and some of what you described go with that diagnosis: insomnia, hyperfocus to the point of not remembering to eat (I have to put an alarm on my phone to tell me to eat), and lack of motivation for healthy behaviors.
EllenJanuary 16,2022 at 7:10PM UTC
I love the comments below, it's super helpful. For me, basics are the what and self care is the amount / quality. I think of basics as food, water, shelter, clothes, health (eg: exercise, meditation, and activities that recharge/refuel me) and security (connections, love, support, authenticity, etc). Self care is: I know I need a minimum of 8 hours sleep a night to function and that's what I aim for. I need to exercise 3-4 times a week with at least 2 of those workouts being higher intensity (a good sweat).
Work should have peaks and valleys regarding demands/intensity as it should be a marathon and not a full on spirit every day as that is not sustainable. During the periods of peak/intensity, I may need to make tradeoffs on the quantity/quality of the basics, but I do forgo the basics altogether.
Paulla Fetzek, MSEdJanuary 18,2022 at 2:32PM UTC
Appreciate your list and the topic!
To me, basic needs and self care aren't the same. Most everyone has the same basic needs: Food, clothing, shelter, money being the top four at least - and others follow.
Self care - on the other hand - is as unique as each of us are. For me, one of the most important aspects of self care is having time each week to meet with members of my Facebook group and play games. With my schedule, this is CRUCIAL for me!