Surprise gift for the office gone wrong.

22 Comments

1. ChristineMarch 6,2023 at 1:52PM UTC

   I think it was super nice of you to do this -- but I wouldn't in future. It may be that you felt like you were helping your company and coworkers and doing something nice for them. However, it's kind of an overstep that could come back to bite you. The company may start to expect that the employees will step up and cover the things they feel need to be addressed when the management doesn't.

   if a customer comes in an complains about something like this frayed flag, then it's fine to let your boss know -- but then let it go. Alerting them provides management the opportunity to decide for themselves whether it is the best place to spend the funds they have available.

2. Debra SesholtzMarch 6,2023 at 2:08PM UTC

   Since it’s already done, put it behind you and move on. The thought was good and even though you used your own supply funds, it went against your managers efforts to cut costs. Next time seek your manager’s approval before moving forward.

3. AnonymousMarch 6,2023 at 2:57PM UTC

   That was kind, and understand it was your gift to the business. Being a small office of 5 not sure why it's a surprise they found out it was you. Sounds like your feelings got hurt with your gesture, don't take it personal but I've found more smaller the business or office staff more personal things like this are taken. A surprise would be like cake. Still generous of you though.

4. AnonymousMarch 6,2023 at 4:18PM UTC

   Although it was a kind gesture you need to understand that there of 5 of you that work there and sneaky gestures are often met with highly personal reactions. There's a reason a workplace is a collective. People often feel very attached to their environment.

5. AnonymousMarch 7,2023 at 2:58PM UTC

   No good deed goes unpunished! You work with jerks! Sorry for you. But now you know their true colors.

6. AnonymousMarch 7,2023 at 3:34PM UTC

   I wish I could say this has never happened to me, but I can't.

   One of the issues with perception, especially in an office this small, is that everyone is expected to do what one does. In other words, while your intentions were good, it gives the appearance that you think that when the budget gets tight, everyone is supposed to pitch in to help with the office supplies. If anyone were to praise and thank you for it, it would mean that they agreed. It is quite possible that some of the five cannot afford to support the office and their families on what they make in a small office with financial difficulties.

   You may want to clear the air if you feel comfortable doing it. Explain that you thought customers might not want to enter a business with such a "tattered" first impression. You had a few spare bucks and bought the flag on impulse. You meant no disrespect to anyone (in case you replaced something with sentimental value), and you didn't expect anyone else to do the same thing. Let them know you don't intend to do it again, but don't surprise them if you get the urge. Ask permission first.

7. AnonymousMarch 8,2023 at 5:32PM UTC

   It seems really strange to me, this expectation that one should apologize for doing something that causes others to assume you’re making a statement about them. While I agree that it’s entirely possible that the coworkers feel that way, it would be ridiculous to vet all of your decisions through the lens of how they may interpret your gesture.

8. AnonymousMarch 8,2023 at 11:28PM UTC

   I only suggested that she explain, not apologize. As I posted, it happened to me, and I stated how it was explained to me. I was told, "Others cannot pitch in like this and help, so you are setting a bad precedent." It was something I had never considered before I did it, but now I always run it by someone before doing it to make sure it isn't taken the wrong way. It is never ridiculous to vet decisions through the lens of how they will be interpreted.

9. Becca A.March 7,2023 at 4:10PM UTC

   Seems petty for the ladies to react in such a way. It's your money you used to replace it with good intentions. At all of the previous workplaces I have held this type of behavior would be seen as commadery. But they definitely would have advised to not do it again for the reasons some of the previous posters shared which were due to management taking it as a sign that employees should take it upon themselves to fix things in the future. Not them. Felt like a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation which sucks. Since it gives the impression that doing anything out of kindness in the workplace is to not be done and how desolate is that?

10. Melissa NobileMarch 7,2023 at 6:04PM UTC

    You did a good thing. If the others are complaining, it could be because they are upset and jealous that they didn’t think of it.

    I do all kinds of things like this for my church - although, I do clear 99% of it with the priest as what I do usually has to do with the sanctuary. I, too, expect nothing in return. I get pushback for almost everything from parishioner or another. I smile and keep doing what I’m doing.

11. Kathleen Norton-SchockMarch 8,2023 at 1:20PM UTC

    This too shall pass. When people criticize a clear act of generosity (not to mention --- patriotism, since your sign is red, white and blue...LOL), there is something else going on. The critics may not be introspective, enough, to recognize that. How did your boss react, if at all? How do customers react, if they even notice it (or even visit with you)? Those are the two questions, if you really care about anyone else's opinion (which I might not...smile) that you can judge the situation by. Everyone will probably forget about it all, quickly, if they are productive, and truly serving your company's client base. (And good for you, by the way, to have done this, IMHO!)

12. AnonymousMarch 8,2023 at 1:33PM UTC

    Sometimes you have to ignore this kind of attitude, I would keep showing courtesy in my work place regardless of negative reaction for some team members out of jealousy or what ever. Be what you are kind thoughtful and positive.

13. Arlene Frances Gottardo (Bryak)March 8,2023 at 2:03PM UTC

    Ignore & move on

14. AyianMarch 8,2023 at 2:17PM UTC

    There are a lot of reasons that could be their motivation for negative or neutral responses. All you can do is express that the old one was worn and impacting your morale, so you replaced it with a new one for everyone to enjoy. Whether that's exactly the right wording for you or not, the sentiment remains the same: you did it because it makes you happier to see a new one than a fraying flag. (Also, I have NO idea what you're talking about, but maybe they're common in your area.)

15. Gwendolyn FreeMarch 8,2023 at 2:33PM UTC

    I understand what and why you did what you did! I think it was a nice guesture! I do small things in my office, like buy peppermints at the dollar store, which is pretty inexpensive. I told my manager about it because it was a hit! The employees came to the front desk to say hello because they liked the mints. My manager decided we could order them from now on! I'm not sure how much you paid for that floag, but I'm sure it costs more than $2. Maybe you should have asked your manager before you made such a purchase. I agree with them. Those type of purchases should bot come out of pocket. It was a lesson learned. Stop feeling awkard and keep it moving!

16. AnonymousMarch 8,2023 at 3:33PM UTC

    Sounds like you did something out of kindness and pride in your work, which would be a very nice thing to do in most situations (friendship, family, volunteer work, a business you own or have a stake in). In this case, I have to agree with your colleague. Buying work supplies out of your own pocket (especially when you're not management/owner) is not a good precedent to set. I'm saying this as a former teacher, who was expected to buy tissues, pencils, and other classroom supplies for the 100 students I saw every day. In many districts teachers are left to foot that bill themselves (because there's no budget allocated for supplies anymore), and those who don't spend out of their own pocket are often looked upon negatively by administration for not having those items that would make their classroom run more smoothly. It's either spend a hundred dollars a year on tissues or deal with sniffly teenagers asking to go to the bathroom multiple times in a class for TP (because why on earth would they ever carry a pack of tissues with them?!). Try not to feel awkward about it though - it's a learning experience and I'd say many of us have been there, feeling personal responsibility for something that's not ours to worry about.

17. Susan Sims-PrittsMarch 8,2023 at 4:16PM UTC

    Hmmmm.... this is a difficult one to answer. I've been a worker bee as well as an Office Manager and business leader. Even, when I felt the most comfortable, confident, in sync with employees, etc.. I would have found it inappropriate for an employee to make a decision about something that represented the business, without first having a conversation either in staff meeting, or with me personally. That said, I LIKE your initiative, and would have been pleased to have a staff member come to me with a concern and suggestion like that. Was also fortunate that I and we had many staff who felt like such an important part of our organization, that they willingly offered their thoughts and suggestions.

18. AnonymousMarch 8,2023 at 5:48PM UTC

    I would speak to the group about the pride you take in having your place of work be nice. Let them know that you did it because you care and that you were willing to do it because you spend so much time at work and really want to show how much you appreciate being there. Then let it go. You did a good thing, as long as it made you feel good keep in mind not everyone appreciates what you do and will not always react the way you expect. If it was good for you and did no harm you did a good thing!

19. Susan L H SmithMarch 8,2023 at 6:00PM UTC

    It's one thing to purchase something for your work area-flower, photo frame, etc. It's entirely another to purchase something for your workplace without prior approval. I do see where you're coming from, however, you should've checked with your manager first. Maybe plans were already made to replace the flag or perhaps something else was being considered. From rereading your post, it sounds like you may be the 'newbie'. Take your coworkers advice; perhaps it's their experience working for this manager that made them say it.

20. misskelleypMarch 8,2023 at 7:18PM UTC

    I think it is a bad trend to set to expect or even accept that employees personally pay for business expenses. I understand you thought you were doing a nice thing, but agree, you should not do so again. Next time, if it's a business expense, get approval and order through proper channels.

21. AnonymousMarch 9,2023 at 3:57AM UTC

    This situation is the perfect example for you to use when a job interviewer asks you to name a time something didn’t go the way you expected and what you learned from it (or how you handled it). The takeaway is that you followed The Golden Rule and discovered that in this particular company’s culture, it wasn’t “your place” — for whatever reason — to fund a surprise. The hypothetical interviewer will be interested to see if you let this experience spiral your work environment into something awkward or if you used the cues of your team to gauge professional boundaries. It honestly sucks that you showed leadership and initiative but then got scolded. However, I agree with a previous comment or two that the smaller the company and the newer the employee, the more this kind of action becomes very politically/emotionally received. There’s probably a more senior employee at your company who could get away with a much bolder move and be applauded, and it’s even possible that they were the first individual to express having a problem with the nice gesture you made (and that other coworkers followed their lead). No good deed goes unpunished. Use this experience as not just a killer answer to an interview question but as an excuse to save your energy for generosity OUTSIDE of work. I’m sorry your coworkers didn’t appreciate your thoughtfulness.

22. Erin VegaMarch 11,2023 at 4:09PM UTC

    I think what you did was a great gesture!! However, do you know if there is a company policy in regards to purchasing items for the company. There may be several possible answers to why the ladies have acted this way. In my opinion they are acting this way because they may see this as you 'sucking up' to the boss or trying to buy your way up the ladder.

    In this case if it was me I would submit an expense reimbursement form with receipt for the flag noting that it was a donation to the company and that you apologize for not having prior approval and have been advised not to purchase office supplies with personal funds anymore.