I am starting to feel like I can't go on.

51 Comments

1. Delete ProfileSeptember 3,2025 at 8:37PM UTC

   Since you are posting anonymously, I can only provide generic response.

   Google the following terms: food pantries, food banks, affordable housing, housing assistance, emergency financial assistance, YWCA child care assistance, Department of Human Service, Department of Community Services, Department of HealthCare & Family Services, Catholic Charities, Low Income Home Energy Assistance Program, Illinois Housing Development Authority, Salvation Army, Family Services, Urban League, Head Start, affordable heathcare, medical care for low income persons, food stamps, many church groups.... The list goes on and on. Once you start calling everyone, you will see more and more resources appear.

   I am currently unemployed and going crazy staring at the same walls day after day. Keep focused and know there is help out there.

2. AnonymousSeptember 3,2025 at 11:22PM UTC

   Michelle has some great suggestions. In addition I want to add that selfcare is super important. Funding for medical, dental and therapy is available but you have to search and advocate for yourself. Transportation and prepaid cards covering therapy and classes like yoga and stretching are there too.

   Take a walk in the sunshine or ride a bike to a poetry reading. Rest and relax.

3. Delete ProfileSeptember 6,2025 at 5:11PM UTC

   Thank you! I'm glad someone found my response helpful.

4. Elizabeth Stiles WestSeptember 3,2025 at 11:53PM UTC

   Please don't harm yourself. I know things are really rough right now, but eventually, they will get better. Please contact the aid organizations near you for help with your mortgage and also consider setting up a Go Fund Me. If needed, you can withdraw retirement funds early. It's not ideal, but if it's an emergency, that would pay your mortgage for a while. Also while it's not ideal to spend a lot on credit cards, get a cash advance if all else fails. Another thought: could you sell your house and move somewhere less expensive if you're living alone? Also don't hesitate to ask any family members or friends who might be able to help, and consider taking any jewelry to a pawn shop. If you have a college degree, why don't you substitute teach while you wait for a more permanent position? School districts are begging for subs right now. Whatever you do, I promise the world is better with you in it. I went through a really rough patch in 2010, but I'm glad I stuck around. Hugs to you!

5. AnonymousSeptember 4,2025 at 5:00PM UTC

   This is excellent advice - I have a degree, and if there is a way to give back and get paid, why not? Thank you.

6. Elizabeth Stiles WestSeptember 4,2025 at 8:05PM UTC

   You're so welcome! Please take care of yourself. Life is definitely worth living, and things will get better! Kids can be obnoxious at times, but districts are so desperate for subs that at least you now usually get paid decently, and unless it's a long-term sub position such as for someone who is on maternity leave, you're not expected to do any of the planning or grading; the student work should be ready to go for you when you arrive at the school. Something else I have done as a side job was to work at a Prometrics testing center. Basically, you supervise people who are taking things like the GRE, the LSAT, etc. and set up the testing equipment for them. You monitor to make sure they aren't cheating, only using a calculator if one is allowed on that particular test and so on. It pays decently and it's not a bad gig. If you're really desperate for funds and don't have any health issues preventing it, you can get paid for plasma donation. There is always something you can do that is better than giving up. Your best days haven't happened yet, and it's your former fiance's loss; now you are available to meet someone worthy of you!

7. devine speightsSeptember 4,2025 at 12:58AM UTC

   Call your mortgage company Iexplain to them that you won’t be able to pay the full mortgage they will work with you or add that payment to the end of the mortgage giving you a grace. Call them immediately and let them know

8. AnonymousSeptember 4,2025 at 12:22PM UTC

   This world is so much better with you in it!! You are going to get through this and come out stronger on the other side. You are getting lots of good advice and we are all rooting for you!

9. AnonymousSeptember 4,2025 at 12:42PM UTC

   I don’t know you but I want to pray for you. Think about the people who love and care about you. I have a brain tumor last year and had two major surgeries and have a long road to full recovery. The world is not perfect, but please love yourself.

   Contact the bank and see if there’s anything you can do. Just figure out the problem one day at a time. A broken engagement could lead to another better more suitable person for you down the road.

   Life is not easy, but do not harm yourself. You will get through this, and when you look back you will be a stronger and better person.

10. AnonymousSeptember 4,2025 at 4:59PM UTC

    Oh lawd, this made me cry. I pray for your recovery <3 You have been through so much; if you can get through that, I think you can get through anything.

11. LaQuitaSeptember 4,2025 at 1:09PM UTC

    I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. Please know that there are people who love and care for you. As for you mortgage you should contact your mortgage company and ask them for assistance, they should have options. And any other creditors you have you should contact them as well. Take it day by day, even if that means contacting one creditor per day. I pray that everything works out for you and your family. I am rooting for you!

12. AnonymousSeptember 4,2025 at 4:57PM UTC

    Thank you for this advice, truly. I will finally call one of the creditors first thing tomorrow that I have been avoiding <3

13. AnonymousSeptember 4,2025 at 2:45PM UTC

    Contact your mortgage lender and get a forbearance. There are many different terms in which you can pay whatever you can per month or pay nothing. They may or may not be able to tack the full amount to the end of your loan or there may be a full payment due at the end of the forbearance term. Understand your options because you do have them! Trust me, you will get through this. I have been in your shoes with much longer periods of unemployment and I've lived thru it. And I can tell you that what's true today will not be true tomorrow. I promise! You got this!

14. Pamela TorresSeptember 4,2025 at 3:48PM UTC

    Write this list:

    1) Call or text 988 for mental health assistance. You need to take of yourself mentally.

    2) Call a family member(s) see if they can provide a loan for the mortgage payment, and only the mortgage payment. Draw up an agreement that you pay off that loan

    3) If you filed for unemployment the state you live in may offer programs. Also, go to an American Job Center, others are in the same boat. Also, check if there are local financial advisors, city and county, are available.

    4) If you are a member of LinkedIn look for support groups, Caffeine n Careers is one. The number is growing.

    I am in the same boat as you, we may have crossed paths while walking the decks. Keep venting on Fairygodboss, and keep applying for work.

15. AnonymousSeptember 4,2025 at 4:23PM UTC

    Please reach out for help to 988 or find a support person in your circle of trust that can help you to make it through this tough time. You can do it, there is light ahead. Do keep us posted here if there are specifics as to how we can directly help.

16. AnonymousSeptember 4,2025 at 4:31PM UTC

    Emergency crisis center intervention. You need help and there is nothing wrong with that.

17. AnonymousSeptember 5,2025 at 12:18PM UTC

    i am at this point and now facing eviction. I’m also in DC, also thanks to Trump all the social programs are either drained or shut off.

    I have no more fight nor resilience left in me and I’m a mom. You’re not alone

18. Cal MendelsohnSeptember 5,2025 at 12:28PM UTC

    My advice and I can relate completely to your state of mind is to do things one day at a time since you can't handle all your problems at once. You might need to do some part time hustles to generate some income in the meantime because just siting around thinking on this all the time leads to nothing good. I would also engage on LinkedIn with some of the hiring managers and headhunters three. They are always looking for new clients to help Anyway hope this is helpful

19. Laura SSeptember 5,2025 at 1:32PM UTC

    Can you talk to your bank about a hardship pause at all? Or utilities or other bills? I’ve had to do that and a lot of them were willing to work with me. It helped take some of the pressure off.

    I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there several times, had to borrow money from family and decide which bills to pay and which to take the fees and hit to my credit.

    Please do something to be kind to yourself every day. For me, it’s splurging on one item of skin care that’s just a little more than I probably should spend, and then using it every night with care and attention and gratitude.

    You are not alone.

20. Sidney BristowSeptember 5,2025 at 2:47PM UTC

    I am so sorry.

21. AnonymousSeptember 5,2025 at 4:35PM UTC

    Please call 988 or 1-877-330-6366

22. KittySeptember 5,2025 at 5:08PM UTC

    Praying for you- I have Ben there too and it somehow worked out- take it 1 day at a time-

23. AnonymousSeptember 5,2025 at 5:28PM UTC

    Apply for benefits such as Medicaid, SNAP, financial assistance, ASAP. Check in with temp agencies in your area to see if you can get some temp work (even if it isn't what you most want to do), sign up for gig work if you can do some of that. Reach out to your network, let them know you are looking for work and ask them for leads and advice. If you are able to relocate, look at jobs in other locations. The job market is brutal right now. Keep going. I hope you land a great job soon.

24. AnonymousSeptember 5,2025 at 7:39PM UTC

    Keep your chin up. If you’re looking for a job with a tech company- try recruiting companies.

25. Farah BajwaSeptember 5,2025 at 7:40PM UTC

    Definitely apply for EDD as soon as humanly possible. I also just discovered yesterday that there may be property tax assistance as well as mortgage assistance (I currently have zero income with a mortgage). Contact the mortgage company and explain your situation. They may be able to temporarily reduce or delay your payments.

26. Farah BajwaSeptember 5,2025 at 7:43PM UTC

    Forgot to add: Also contact your internet, gas/electric providers - there are discount programs.

27. AnonymousSeptember 5,2025 at 7:54PM UTC

    Aren’t you getting unemployment benefits? If not get on it! Be careful at times like these making any rash decisions. If possible ask your parents for a non interest loan to pay your mortgage for the next 3 months. Get creative put together your shoe

    string budget. Sell jewelry designer stuff whatever to raise cash. See about getting some good interim work at Starbucks. Retail ( they are hiring for Xmas) whatever to pull cash in while continuing to job hunt in your field. Also do whatever you can to keep yourself cheerful positive and strong. Then when you do get back to gainful employment assume that you will always be laid off. Pull together at least a years worth of expenses and don’t touch it. Fund 401k and open a Roth IRA and don’t touch any of it. This is called FU money and it gives you confidence and a foundation so you have choices. Good luck and know this is the way things sre
    fhese days. Getting laid off is part
    of the employment package
    and is not a reflection on who you are. Also during this time do something you love for at least an hour each day. Read a book, draw a picture do
    yoga. This is your life !

28. Eloisa JacintoSeptember 5,2025 at 8:30PM UTC

    I am sorry to hear you are in that situation. Don’t give up. Keep fighting. Assess and see what you can streamline in your current activities/expenses. Seek help from good people. Volunteer in the community. I’m praying for all of us.

29. Laura E. WendtSeptember 5,2025 at 9:10PM UTC

    Please get help with your feelings. It can be difficult to land a desirable job when you are feeling hopeless. Life can be really difficult and sometimes it helps to let go of expectations and accept what is possible for now. Things change and possibilities open up again. This is a wicked tough market, so prioritize and take exquisite care of yourself.

30. AnonymousSeptember 5,2025 at 9:40PM UTC

    i know how you feel it's just happen to me.

31. AnonymousSeptember 6,2025 at 12:10AM UTC

    Maybe in both cases you dodged huge bullets. Especially the husband thing. I don't know how it went down, but before you marry is always better than after.

    You will be okay. I've been the gaming industry 30 years and I'm being cast aside like not a minute of it mattered. It isn't personal and I keep trying to remind myself that, but it is excruciatingly hard sometimes. I've aged out of the process and I can't even find a regular job. Today I blew a gasket because AI steered me wrong on a position that was already filled. I keep putting so much emotional dna into everything and nothing is panning out. It is so stressful.
    What I have going for me though, is I am OLD, and I do know that my problems and your problems will eventually be in both of our rearview mirrors. Trust me on that one. That I know.

    Think about renting your place out and maybe doing some couch surfing with friends? No? Or... if you have to stay in the house can you rent a room out?

    I'd also suggest finding something outside of stressful things. Join a class that may be really cheap or even free. Join a club in the area where you make something. You don't have to be talented because you just want to enjoy the process, not the result.

    You should know though, that you will be okay. Make it your mantra.

32. AnonymousSeptember 6,2025 at 8:22AM UTC

    I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this and you will definitely make it to the other side. How about considering less traditional (and mentally draining) routes for work like doing some freelance or consulting services, or maybe doing something you enjoy that is outside your field? For example, I love writing and proofreading so I have multiple freelance clients and will continue if I get a FT position.

    Rounds and rounds of interviews just to reach rejection sounds demoralizing. Personally I prefer to focus on people who appreciate what I have to offer even if that means a 3 month contract and not a permanent or full time deal. Flexibility is the order of the day to generate income.

    There's no straight line in life as much as people like to pretend that there is. Many of us have made pit stops along the way yet still ended up where we were aiming.

    Regarding the ending of relationship, you may want to talk with a mental health professional, clergy, trusted friend or family member. And I agree with the woman who said that ending before marriage is better than after. Many women are vowing never to marry again after long marriages which end in divorce. No husband is infinitely better than one that's a weight around your neck.

    Prayers and positive energy for you to see brighter days soon!

33. AnonymousSeptember 6,2025 at 12:38PM UTC

    My heart is with you!

    One thing I may suggest is to start doing volunteer work. As an 8x cancer patient I started doing volunteer work when I was first diagnosed at age 18 with cancer. It really helped me to feel better about myself and see that there are so many other people in the world who are worse off than me and it gave me a sense of purpose and accomplishment and I was putting that positive energy out there in the world and like energy attracts like energy and believe it or not that is a positive way to attract a new job.

    Give it a try, it cannot hurt, and may help a lot. Sending gratitude and positive energy your way! ?

34. Nancy CincottaSeptember 6,2025 at 3:05PM UTC

    Oh you’re dealing with so much right now! It’s a tremendous burden by anyone’s standards. I agree with the options previous posters suggested. I write lists when I get overwhelmed. Things I can control, steps I can take, etc. It may seem silly but it gets me out of my head and focusing on actionable tasks. I am praying you get some peace.

35. Sheri GreenSeptember 7,2025 at 3:03PM UTC

    Journaling is a great idea! Sometimes it helps to see your feelings and struggles on paper.

36. AnonymousSeptember 7,2025 at 12:40AM UTC

    Protect the investment on the house. Move to something cheap.

    first: food, shelter, utilities, transportation.

    live far below your means. Rent at 10 percent of your take home pay.

37. AnonymousSeptember 7,2025 at 8:08AM UTC

    This is one of my favorite verses, really encouraging.

38. Milissa JacobsSeptember 7,2025 at 1:13PM UTC

    One day at a time, you will make it through this. Deep breath, you may have to take a job outside your field until you find the job that you want.

39. Sheri GreenSeptember 7,2025 at 1:46PM UTC

    There are agencies in your area that can help. Get a hold of United Way. You just dial 211. They have a plethora of help for folks like you and me. This number works in all 50 states, Washington DC, and Puerto Rico.

    Please keep reaching out and talking to us. You can do this, and you will! Please don't give up!

    I love you, and God does, too!

40. Albert BautistaSeptember 7,2025 at 2:21PM UTC

    Faith is your anchor. In moments when the world feels heavy, trust that God is moving behind the scenes. Persevere—He’s not done yet.

41. AnonymousSeptember 7,2025 at 4:29PM UTC

    You are in my thoughts and prayers!! Please don’t give up, just take one day at a time , if it’s too much, just apply for 2- 3 jobs a day, you will be blessed with a good one before you know it !! Take long walks while listening to inspirational music. If you have a library close by do some of your job search there instead off from home !! I pray all goes well and stay blessed!!

42. Raznae McIntoshSeptember 7,2025 at 11:35PM UTC

    This 100%. Those long walks or quite moments sitting to yourself listening to inspirational music or motivational videos can be really helpful. Check out some of the ones by Les Brown on youtube. He's one of the bests. And if you're looking for something in the tech field, try the Wellfound website. Sending lots of positive and healing vibes your way.

43. AnonymousSeptember 7,2025 at 4:42PM UTC

    You are an amazing person who probably takes life in a serious way. Congratulations! We need more of people like you. Know you are a valuable person in our world, and what you probably don't know is many people silently admire you. I am old enough to have had several bumps in the road to overcome, and I am glad that I have believed that I have something of value to give. Keep going! You will find your next job and your next paycheck and be happy you hung on to get to the next stopping point in the road. You can do this, and maybe an affirmation of "I can do this", saying this repeatly will help you find your way to your next job.

44. AnonymousSeptember 7,2025 at 5:26PM UTC

    Attend events, meetups, talk to people, vent, or just listen. Not isolating yourself is the first step. Hugs!

45. LisaSeptember 8,2025 at 12:51PM UTC

    No, no, no, no honey. I’m walking right along side you and I’d give you a huge hug if I could because I’ve been feeling the exact same way. We’re gonna get through this. For me it looks a bit different, but you are not alone. Please call a doctor or someone, anyone you can trust. It’s not you. Right now we need to fight-not just for us, but for our girls, our future. We NEED you. In the meantime, I’m here, we all are and I’m perfectly happy to sit here with you in the dark while we look at the stars. ❤️❤️

46. AnonymousSeptember 8,2025 at 1:00PM UTC

    Don't give up your going through a rough time right now, please keep trying and put your resume out there someone will give you a chance. I'm in a somewhat similar position however I can't stop. Keep reaching up and something will come along soon.

47. AnonymousSeptember 8,2025 at 1:04PM UTC

    Oh my, it's been rough for you. Not going to minimize your pain or advise you to, "suck it up" because it's what you're feeling and you're entitled to feel. But we can start with renewing your mindset. Just think, every day that you wake up; your heart's beating and your mind is still intact, it means that you're not done yet! And nothing, (AND I Mean, NOTHING) is ever hopeless. Also, please, please know that you're NOT ALONE. There are folks out there that are going through it just like you, and some might even have it a little worse. So, reframe this time as "stormy" period. And we all know that storms don't last always, they eventually pass on. Finally, I don't know what your faith walk is, but please know that I'm praying for you and rooting for you, too. You've got to go on. Because, again, YOU'RE NOT DONE!

48. Meg EggersSeptember 8,2025 at 1:56PM UTC

    There are many groups that you can join to help with this horrible job search. Remember, it's not you. The system is broken. I recently joined the Green Banner Gang, and even though it's only been a week, I already feel better and more confident. We got this, together <3

49. AnonymousSeptember 8,2025 at 2:40PM UTC

    I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm in a similar boat too - looking for work but constantly getting rejected between application and interview stage, as well as dealing with a marriage headed for divorce. I don't know much about the tech industry so I'm afraid I can't give you any useful advice other than to plough on and find the job that's right for you. I really hope things work out for you :)

50. AnonymousSeptember 8,2025 at 5:33PM UTC

    As someone who is in your shoes. I had to realize my worth. Companies are seeking your expertise as a consultant. Especially startups. Create an LLC and prospect. Just as you did as a top AE and consult on the techniques you used to become the top.

51. ken petersNovember 13,2025 at 2:53PM UTC

    Plz push thru. I’m going thru the same and need us both to be strong