I would like to talk to someone about how I'm feeling at work.

Anonymous

October 22,2022 at 7:39PM UTC

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I would like to talk to someone about how I'm feeling at work. That I'm not important don't feel like a team member. All of the colleges get along with each other happily & communicate. I just feel like an outsider who doesn't get treated fairly or equally like the rest of them.

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AnonymousOctober 22,2022 at 7:49PM UTC
I am sorry you are experiencing this.
Try to focus on self love and self preservation. Unfortunately it is not abnormal for individuals to experience a negative job 1-3x in their career. Prior to the 70s, work used to be well rounded and families knew eachother through family events and activities and folks look out for each other. There are still some companies that are like this, but at times it can be difficult to find. If you are unhappy because you do. Not feel welcome, I would ask how long have you been there. If less than 2 mths, I would say give it some time and try to build connections with other offices that interface within the same company to see if it is worth it to do a transfer. If it has been longer than that and you get the sense that the entire company climate is not for you, carve out some time to aggressively apply to 15+ jobs per week. Don’t wait for things to get worse to where it adversely affects your mental health and well being. Take care of yourself and know that there is a job for everyone that welcomes them for who they are, we just sometimes go through rough transitions with bad apples along the journey. Dust yourself off, value yourself and tune out the negativity until it is just white noise until you reach a destination where you will be happy. You deserve to be valued and happy. So seek an environment that will. Good luck and we are all routing for you.
AnonymousOctober 22,2022 at 8:27PM UTC
What are you doing to try and connect? What have you tried?
carolina girlOctober 25,2022 at 12:22PM UTC
That’s rather an insensitive question to ask! Obviously you’ve never been bullied. I’m sure she has done EVERYTHING she could possibly do to fit in. I have BEEN there! Every place I worked at, I was kind , respectful and ALWAYS helped others. Sometimes it doesn’t matter WHAT you try. It doesn’t make any difference.
AnonymousOctober 22,2022 at 11:54PM UTC
I’m in the same boat. I’m the odd man out.
Laura WestOctober 23,2022 at 8:44PM UTC
Been there, and feeling “in it but not of it” is not fun. Obviously, talk to someone you *don’t* work with — you don’t have to worry about confidentiality, and you could get some good outside perspectives on the situation.
Nicole DupuisOctober 24,2022 at 11:49AM UTC
I would agree with another comment here, to talk to someone externally like a coach or mentor. Having someone to ask you right the questions and get to the root of what you are feeling and more importantly, decide what next steps to take. But stay positive and optimistic because you do have the power to make things work for you.
AnonymousOctober 24,2022 at 12:20PM UTC
Can totally relate..I moved to a different area of the organization for development purposes and the new team has been challenging..the culture is much different than what I had in my old team and there is another team member who has been completely uncollaborative...I feel like an outsider looking in most of the team. I agree with the comments..talk to someone outside of the company..and if you do have a trusted mentor..share how you feel. Don't keep it inside. I have done this and it's helped alot..
carolina girlOctober 25,2022 at 12:26PM UTC
I know EXACTLY what you’re going through! I went through the same thing in EVERY workplace! People are cruel and it’s hell! I wish that I had answers for you. I would suggest try opening a business of your own where YOU are the boss.
AnonymousOctober 25,2022 at 1:51PM UTC
Did something happen or is it a feeling you’re having?
AnonymousOctober 25,2022 at 2:55PM UTC
Talking to an external coach may help. If your company offers that as a benefit, you may not have to pay anything.
I was feeling similarly in my current role when I first started. Talking through things with a coach, something she said stuck with me: "Play with the cards you are dealt". In other words, what do you have control over that you can work with? You don't have control over their feelings or actions, but you do over yours. Maybe there are steps can you take to make the situation better or at least bearable?
Megan JohnstonOctober 26,2022 at 2:53AM UTC
I just wanted to say, we are here for you. You deserve to feel safe and welcomed. You are enough. If there is something I can do to help, even just to lend an ear, don't hesitate to reach out. I will listen.