I accepted a new job at a startup and my old job is trying to convince me to stay.

Anonymous

July 23,2022 at 1:00PM UTC

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I accepted a new job at a startup and my old job is trying to convince me to stay. I know I already made the decision, but I am starting to feel guilty. New job pays more, is working to match old job’s achieved but unpaid bonus, and I’ll get to stretch and grow professionally. At old job I have a good partner. We worked really, really well together and crushed our goals. (We’re 6 months ahead! Already hit our annual!) My bonus is maxed out and won’t be paid until the end of the year where his is uncapped and paid quarterly. To actually see my bonus, I would have to stay until February. I’m moving from a very large company to a startup in the same industry, so I can’t work both with a clear conscience. Looking for some thoughts if you’ve been in my spot.

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Sue Gordon- retired Career CoachJuly 23,2022 at 1:09PM UTC
If you choose to go, do so with the assumption you won't ever see the bonus.
If you were excited about the new opportunity until the pressure from the old started, then what does that tell you? Is it worth missing out on a bonus? That bonus could handcuff you to a job anytime, at some point you have to say goodbye to a bonus in the short-term for future opportunity.
Where do you want to be in 6 months, regardless of bonus?
Reneging on a commitment is always bad form and could result in burned bridges as well so keep that in mind.
Good luck! You're doing great!
Sue Gordon- retired Career CoachJuly 23,2022 at 1:11PM UTC
Oh ...one more thing. No need for guilt. You have to manage your own career development. Only you can do what's right for you. The company will survive.
AnonymousJuly 26,2022 at 3:08PM UTC
Thank you!
AnonymousJuly 26,2022 at 3:07PM UTC
Thank you! I brought up the achieved bonus to the new job, and they are totally taking it in stride. It’s nice to feel valued already. They are going to work with me on it.
AnonymousJuly 23,2022 at 2:17PM UTC
Most big growth (title, responsibility, salary) happens when we change jobs.
You owe your old job nothing. Why are your bonuses capped? Why aren't they paid out quarterly? Why are you being treated differently? And now that they know you're looking to jump, how loyal will they be to you?
AnonymousJuly 26,2022 at 3:05PM UTC
After I read your post, I opened this conversation up with my supervisor at my old company. I a
accepted the new job and am ready to roll. Thank you for this comment.
Sarah HulickJuly 23,2022 at 3:05PM UTC
Go for the new job. That guilty conscience was cultivated by your parents and/or a religion to get you to do what they wanted. Don’t let a large corporation use it against your best interests.
AnonymousJuly 26,2022 at 3:08PM UTC
Thank you!
AnonymousJuly 23,2022 at 3:34PM UTC
Guilt implies you did something terribly guilty.
If you want stay and believe they will make the equitable changes before your notice of resignation runs out then stay.
Always do what's best for you, your career and family. The company will always do what's best for the company.
AnonymousJuly 26,2022 at 3:09PM UTC
Thank you! And you’re right, maybe it’s not “guilt” but something else I can’t name. Whatever it is, it’s slowly being scrubbed away with the welcoming of the new company and the exit conversations at old company. I’m making the right move.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 24,2022 at 2:53AM UTC
Guilty about what?
I promise you, neither your boss nor your team members have ever, WILL ever say "gee, I'd love to take this great new job, but I would feel so guilty leaving anonymous."
Never. Going. To. Happen.
They'll get over it. Trust me on that.
I would advise against accepting a counter offer from your old company. They virtually never work out. Usually the person is gone within six months anyway and sometimes to not as good an offer as the one they turned down to accept the counteroffer. I have had candidates call me literally two days after they turned down an offer saying "is that offer still on the table, my company totally lied to me, nothing is going to change". The offer was not still on the table.
Do NOT let any of this bother you or give it one single second more of bandwidth in your brain. Forget about it - don't look back, use your energy to look forward to the exciting new opportunity you have in front of you.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR NEW ADVENTURE!!!!!!
AnonymousJuly 26,2022 at 3:04PM UTC
Thank you for this!
I accepted and I’m going to jump in with 2 feet. Oldest job asked if I would stay on part time or as a contractor to take care of a couple larger accounts, but I don’t think that’s fair to me or my new company. I’m excited! Here we go!
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 26,2022 at 8:03PM UTC
Good for you! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AnonymousJuly 24,2022 at 1:13PM UTC
Think of your relationship with your old company as a business transaction, because that’s mostly what it was. What did you give? What did you get? Unless you got a lot more than you gave, don’t feel guilty.
AnonymousJuly 26,2022 at 3:10PM UTC
You’re so right. Thank you.
AnonymousJuly 24,2022 at 2:14PM UTC
Does the start-up appear to have staying power? If new company is financially stable, take the new job.
You clearly prefer the new opportunity.
If the new company cannot match your bonus, see if you can receive equity in the start-up to make up the gap, or negotiate that the bonus gap be paid on a deferred basis.
AnonymousJuly 26,2022 at 3:10PM UTC
Thank you! I did exactly this during the offer, and I’m pumped. Thanks!
Leader135412July 30,2022 at 1:22PM UTC
First, why is your bonus maxed out and you have to wait till the end of the year ? And his is uncapped and paid quarterly. Seems very unfair. Try bringing it up, and if they wont budge only give the actual minimum. Seems discriminatory. Dont settle.