When No Isn't Enough.

When No Isn't Enough.

Warning, long post below.

Background:

My current role follows a hybrid work model—three days in the office, two working from home. I have one direct report who has been with me for about four months. Since this is a nonprofit, there is some flexibility in this policy due to the organization’s people-first culture. When I was hired, my boss told me that if I ever needed an extra work-from-home day for something like apartment repairs or other unforeseen circumstances, or if I needed to adjust my remote days from week to week, that would be fine as long as I gave him a heads-up. In turn, I’ve applied the same flexibility with my direct report. For example, when she’s had childcare issues and needed to shift her remote days, I’ve accommodated that without issue. However, I’ve been consistent in reinforcing that the agency’s policy is hybrid, not fully remote.

The Request:

A few weeks ago, during our 1:1, my direct report asked if she could transition to a fully remote position because she wants to relocate to another city. She cited NYC’s high cost of living as her reason. I told her plainly that the hybrid policy is the agency’s policy, not mine, and that everyone, including the Executive Director and senior leadership, follows the same rule. She pointed out that the employee handbook states remote work is determined on a case-by-case basis. I clarified that this applies to employees whose roles require them to be in person full-time (e.g., direct-service staff who cannot work hybrid).

This week, she brought up the request again, stating that she plans to petition the head of HR and the Executive Director to allow her to work remotely. I was upfront with her, saying I was certain they would say no, as the agency policy is hybrid work, not remote work. However, I told her I would first check in with the head of HR.

HR’s Response:

I met with the head of HR, who confirmed that I was correct—the agency policy is hybrid, and while leadership acknowledges that some roles could be performed remotely, the Executive Director is firmly against it. In fact, even proposals to allow three remote days instead of two have been rejected. HR also mentioned they would be revising the remote work policy to make it clearer. Additionally, she confirmed that when my direct report was hired, HR was explicit about the hybrid requirement (as I had also been during the interview process). HR said my direct report is welcome to schedule a meeting to discuss it, but the answer would remain the same.

Her Reaction:

I relayed all of this to my direct report. She acknowledged that this wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear but said she would take some time to process it. After doing so, she informed me that she still plans to meet with HR to discuss the policy.

My Thoughts:

At this point, I’m at a loss. Does she really think she’s going to get a different answer just because she asks again? This is baffling, right?

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16 Comments

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  1. Anonymous

    Let her. You’ve gone above and beyond to get her the information. Seems to me like she’s an aggressive go getter and thinks she can somehow get special treatment. Who knows? I had a similar situation with a direct report but I didn’t understand that she was trying to do damage to me by her request. This was way before the pandemic by the way. My boss had recently dumped this colleague on me because she had been having difficulty with her. Well my big mistake when she asked to work remotely was to say no we needed her in the office. Oh brother. She launched a viscous campaign against me very distracting and annoying. I went to HR who said unequivocally no she could not work remotely and told me that she absolutely knew that etc. my mistake was in being forthright initially. I should have said ok, write me a good argument for working remotely and let’s see if we can get this done for you. Supportive, promising nothing, giving her work to do and putting the ball in her court. Win win for everyone. But that’s not what I did and she decided I was her mortal enemy and HR saw her as a real problem since she’d pulled some shenanigans with my boss. HR saw her as someone who was looking to eventually sue based on her massive knowledge of employment law, manipulation of the directions in the employee handbook, the many things she’d documented in HR and her minority status. Plus she was super intelligent and charismatic in that she had quite a clique that she was the center of. It was a very good lesson for me. But gad so exhausting!

  2. Anonymous

    Op here. That sounds awful, and I’m sorry you went through that. I have no intention of stopping her from meeting with HR—she has every right to, and it’s HR’s responsibility to clarify and enforce organizational policy.

    What baffles me, though, is that she isn’t a go-getter—at least, not from what I’ve seen. There have been opportunities for her to step outside of the day-to-day routine and gain visibility within the organization, like joining the senior leadership team on an advocacy trip (a common opportunity in nonprofit work). I even told her I’d be going as well, but she just shook her head, declined, and went back to typing at her desk.

  3. Barbara

    Interesting. So she’s probably covert and introverted and just wants to be alone and do her job in private. If she does a good job and you are careful to be meticulously professional with her …because clearly she has a backbone to go and fight for herself you don’t want her fighting you.. you should be good. For me, after having many experiences as a supervisor, I’ve found those that want special treatment and don’t get it hold a grudge and feel victimized and are a problem in the long run. The fact that she was told at the outset what the rules are and took the job anyway is a problem for me. Tho I’ve learned the hard way to not telegraph that to the employee but figure out a way to have her move on.

  4. Alexis Gladstone

    I too would be slightly annoyed about this. As you said, you've not only said no, with explanation, but also gone above and beyond in confirming the policy.

    At this point just let her hear it for herself. You've already prepped HR so they know the conversations that have already taken place. Maybe she thinks her negotiation skills will work better with HR than with you!

  5. Paulla Fetzek, MSEd

    It's frustrating indeed when you've gone through the motions to research an answer (even though you knew it beforehand!), only to be told "Ok, but I'm going to ask anyway."

    However, if your company has an open door policy - I would assume it does as most do - she has a right to ask.

    To her defense and not saying anything against you as a supervisor (from what you noted you did what you could!) - if this is something she feel passionately about, she may feel that the very best way to get an answer is to ask herself. Some people just believe in being their own advocate.

  6. Anonymous

    Great job talking with HR! I just went through this. My advice. Ensure YOU document everything. My employee had an agreement with my predecessor. Their coworkers complained bc this individual would sneak in late, sneak out early and take lunch when the agreement, which after conferring with HR, the leader etc, agreed we could honor IF they worked 40 hours, but I checked on them . Also had an entire group that thought mandatory days in office were at their discretion around holidays or while I was away. After the employee quit and people didn’t like the rules being enforced they turned it around on my and said I wasn’t a good leader bc I didn’t make people happy. Just cover yourself. There is a lot of entitlement out there!

  7. Anonymous

    It doesn't matter what you think or are baffled by. She wants to see her request escalated. Let her echaust all avenues. What real difference will it make.

  8. Anonymous

    I don't get people who choose to die on a hill they know they can't conquer so I agree that her view is just baffling. Not sure if she thinks she is building a case here that the organization is not being accommodating or if she is just the kind of person that has managed to always get what she wants. I would say you have done a great job with how you've handled it. At this point, I would let her torpedo herself with HR and your leadership, the only one looking bad her is her.

  9. Anonymous

    Not baffling. Apparently this is something she feels adamantly about and she's determined to make her case.

  10. Anonymous

    OP here—I find it baffling that she continues to pursue this despite being repeatedly told no. It’s equally puzzling that she accepted the job after the hybrid work policy was clearly stated multiple times during the hiring process.

  11. Anonymous

    It is definitely not something unique to her. I've seen it over and over. I mean, just like employers have been known to pull the bait and switch with regards to work location (in office vs. remote vs. hybrid) employees will do the same. I've seen others post about it here and elsewhere. Pre-COVID, I've seen people make their case with their manager and/or HR with varying degrees of success. She needs to hear it directly from HR and then maybe she'll give it a rest...or she'll decide it's time to seek a position that will give her what she wants.

  12. Anonymous

    Things change. Sometimes a person will accept a position with the plan to push for change once they have settled in. Clearly her plans to move is relatively new so she clearly prioritizes her personal life and is pushing to make thing happen for that.

    Doesn't really stop her that she agreed to one set of circumstances........she might live her personal life more fluid.

  13. JB09718

    Her intentions could be different too, maybe she wants to start a conversation about allowing remote positions overall instead of begging for an exception to the rule. I would let her pursue whatever it is she wants to do assuming other parties, like HR, are ok with it. Trying to keep her from meeting with them when they’re willing and able to meet with her will just create negative feelings towards you and harm your working relationship.

  14. Anonymous

    Oh, to clarify, I have no intention of trying to prevent her from meeting with HR. That is her right. I am just confused as to why she seems to think the answer will change when it won't.

  15. Anonymous

    1 = She pulled a "Bait & Switch" after she got the job

    2 = Entitlement

  16. Anonymous

    Let her find out herself. She wants to figure this out. She doesn't just take NO for an answer.

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