Is this discrimination or negligence?

Anonymous

June 24,2023 at 2:41PM UTC

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Is this discrimination or negligence?

I was working for a major airline within their Human Resources Department. I was hired into my role as Remote, but I still was required to travel into the city for select trainings (which I did). Traveling to events was optional for me, so various members of my team traveled but my manager stated that it was not required for me to. My job was to stay in front of the computer and locate candidates for the airline. Well, at the beginning of this year, my 2-year-old was being tested for Autism and he was receiving therapy 3 times a week for speech, development and physical. When I informed my manager that I needed to take a PTO day for his testing, she stopped communicating with me. She literally stopped communicating with me for 3 months!

I started to believe that she stopped communicating with me because of my responsibilities regarding my son. My actual job performance was not in question because I was doing terrific on my job.

I would reach out to her and she would not communicate with me. She later partnered with the HR Business Partner and changed my status from Remote to Hybrid and lied to the HR Business Partner that 1) I refused to communicate with her 2) I refused to attend events and 3) I refused to attend meetings with her in person. Since my manager stopped communicating with me, she failed to inform me of events I needed to attend, and she even canceled all of my virtual 1:1 meetings with her and discreetly changed them to onsite meetings ( which I found out AFTER everything ended).

I asked for a slight accommodation to place my special needs child in a day care that would fit his needs, since he was home with me during the day. She refused and told me that I had 3 business days to find someone to “watch my kid” and if I didn’t my employment would end. I would be required to travel up to three days of the week. All this happened before I could apply for FMLA because I wasn’t at the company for a year at the time. I resigned from the role because of the circumstances but I started to feel like a failed my child because now we are experiencing the financial fall out. What is this? Is this negligence or some type of discrimination? Should I let this go?

Also, a week after I sent in my resignation, the HR Business Partner reprimanded me via email.

This has been stressful but I am still pressing on.

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AnonymousJune 24,2023 at 4:35PM UTC
Did you print out the emails that you sent that were ignored , do you have documented proof of anything that you state above ? You also resigned and did not get fired.
Next time don’t just resign. You need to document your claim , pull in a contingent employment attorney to follow their guidance if you do have a case and you are better off getting terminated with the hope of severance and unemployment.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I do hope you have family support to get through this until you find your next position.
misskelleypJune 24,2023 at 7:32PM UTC
That really does sound like discriminatory behavior. See if the EEOC or your states version of the Department of Labor can help you. Or see if you can get a free consultation with a Plaintiff's Attorney (note, if it's a large airline, you may have a hard time finding someone who is not conflicted (i.e. also does work for the company)). Good luck. Your son comes first.
AnonymousJune 26,2023 at 1:14AM UTC
Where specifically do you see "discriminatory behavior? Is it the request to work onsite? Increased travel?
AnonymousJune 24,2023 at 7:33PM UTC
Next time advocate aggressively for yourself with HR and leadership. This should never have happened and is so unfortunate. As soon as you are marginalized without communication, you start to get loud with leadership and ALL of HR.
AnonymousJune 25,2023 at 12:32PM UTC
You need a Labor Law Attorney ASAP … go to your states bar association website and state your plea and you will find one
AnonymousJune 25,2023 at 12:46PM UTC
While I'm not an attorney, assuming that you have documentation (as someone asked, did you print the emails before you left?) it sounds like something you could talk with an attorney about or the EEOC to get their perspective.
Others have given you a number of great avenues to find resources so I won't repeat those.
AnonymousJune 25,2023 at 12:50PM UTC
No disrespect intended but I’m a bit confused here.
What did your job description indicate. Was it remote or remote with occasional travel?
Were you asked to sign/acknowledge any remote work agreement regarding child/elder/pet care?
Currently those of us in HR are seeing an about face regarding fully remote positions, and I’m suspecting that your former employer changed your status and expected immediate compliance
AnonymousJune 25,2023 at 8:21PM UTC
I read this post several times and I ask what childcare arrangements did the OP have in place before she was summoned back to the office, i while I may be wrong, but from the tone of the post I suspect she did not have childcare in place and likely was required to while she worked, and the manager became aware of this and thus the ultimatum to find childcare within 3 business days
AnonymousJune 25,2023 at 12:56PM UTC
It depends on the laws in your state (or country). You need to consult with an attorney, and keep in mind that the emotional stress of a lawsuit may not be worth it to you.
AnonymousJune 25,2023 at 1:07PM UTC
I am unclear. you say over and over "She stopped communicating with me". Are you saying that EVERY TIME you corresponded, you got no answer? nada? or were you emailing her multiple times weekly and did not respond to "some" emails? Here is what you said: """When I informed my manager that I needed to take a PTO day for his testing, she stopped communicating with me. She literally stopped communicating with me for 3 months!
I started to believe that she stopped communicating with me because of my responsibilities regarding my son. My actual job performance was not in question because I was doing terrific on my job.
I would reach out to her and she would not communicate with me.""
So, everything was going great until you asked about a PTO day? And then, she did not communicate w you over three months? Did you try calling her? How about reaching out to another HR person- maybe she was sick? I guess I need more details to understand your post.
To wit: I once had a CEO LITERALLY IGNORE my emails/phone messages and persona lrequests to meet over six months. I had more than thirty emails that never got a reply. I reached out to HR- they were "on my side"- truly--the HR manager even suggested I submit a grievance against the CEO - I contemplated options and decided that his disrespect toward me was obvious - I was high positioned in the company, so to be ignored completely send huge signals-- I gave my notice. I don't think hiring an attorney si going to help you and will only add to stress and money lost.
AnonymousJune 26,2023 at 1:10AM UTC
You are 100% correct
rgstaffing@bellsouth.netJune 25,2023 at 1:15PM UTC
I have seen over the years that often the story from the employee and the story from the company are actually two different stories. Should you retain a lawyer, i am sure that the lawyer will get to the truth of the story. As a side note, companies are bringing people back into the office. At the very least, two days a week. Sometimes four days.
Mary PoolJune 25,2023 at 2:09PM UTC
If there is ever a next time (and I certainly hope not), contact an attorney before quitting. You can contact someone now, but it is probably too late unless you have sufficient documentation. Sounds like she was trying to remove you before FMLA could became effective. What you could do is send a letter to the head of the company stating what happened. It will, most likely, not help you, but it could have consequences for her. If you have documentation, send it along as an attachment.
AnonymousJune 27,2023 at 12:07AM UTC
... and in any case say something about bait-and-switch on glassdoor! The whole story isn't necessary, but warning off remote applicants would do them a favor.
AnonymousJune 25,2023 at 2:11PM UTC
OMG there are some real snakes in the work force! Get an attorney you still have time.
AnonymousJune 26,2023 at 1:09AM UTC
She likely has no case. While the manager's actions were spiteful and unethical they were not illegal. Please stop referring everyone to seek an attorney, not everything is actionable.
AnonymousJune 27,2023 at 2:37AM UTC
She asked for an accommodation regarding her son who has a legal disability and her manager ignored her, then adversely impacted her employment by purposely changing her schedule to negatively impact her employment and push her out. Go to the EEOC. Just for sh*ts n giggles. It never looks good to have a charge filed.
AnonymousJune 27,2023 at 2:00PM UTC
EEOC only applies to the employee not their children
AnonymousJune 27,2023 at 2:40AM UTC
Stop telling people to quit Give up when they have an autistic child to support. Why are people so hateful in this world to each other? I just don’t get it.
AnonymousJune 25,2023 at 7:49PM UTC
First I would like to wish you and your son the best. As a mom of an autistic child I all to well appreciate the importance of early intervention to allow the child to live his/her
best life possible.
As other have pointed out, it appears that there was some type of tremendous communication gap between you and your former employer. I suspect at some point for some reason your manager wrote you off, possibly due to your request for time off for therapy, or more likely, what I suspect, the intent was not for your position to be a permanent remote. The timing was horrible.
Likely HR has done everything to dot every I and cross every T before your manager advised you to find childcare. This is not a violation of EEOC, and without the
protections FMLA provides as you were not eligible, combined with your resignation, likely you have little or no recourse
Annetta MosesJune 25,2023 at 9:50PM UTC
I think at this point, you should move on.
The lesson here is that as soon as your manager stopped communicating with you, you should have contacted your HR business partner after two weeks.
Since HR seems to Side with your manager, she likely provided documentation of you being invited to meetings and note responding or attending.
Legally, unless an offer letter indicates a job is 100% remote and can't be converted to hybrid or in office, companies can change the status/location of a job.
RiaJune 26,2023 at 1:21AM UTC
Firstly when you take PTO it is none of your manager's business why you need the day off. Just put in your request for PTO without explanation. Secondly when your manager failed to respond to your PTO request what did you do? There is so much I could pick apart but I will center on what I suspect is the heart of what drove your manager's irrational behavior. You said "asked for a slight accommodation to place my special needs child in a day care that would fit his needs, since he was home with me during the day." Even when you work remote it is expected that you have your child care needs met and that they won't infringe on the work day. When your manager told you to get child care in 3 days I suspect she believed you were not spending the work day solely on work. I don't see discrimination here, at least not on the facts you've given. Next time there is a breakdown in communication please involve HR or use your company's escalation process much sooner. At this point the best gift you can give yourself is to secure the help you need for your child and find a position that will support a healthy work life balance. You owe yourself and your darling child peace of mind.
Liz MilneJune 26,2023 at 4:02AM UTC
Personally, I would absolutely write down everything as it happened. If they investigate, they'll be able to see the changes your manager made and when she made them... You might get a small payout from the company, by way of apology, perhaps a new offer of employment with them?
AnonymousJune 26,2023 at 1:28PM UTC
I don’t see any discrimination or other legal risk here. Accommodations that need to be legally met are for employee medical needs. So legally they would not have to meet anything for your child care needs. I do see really poor management. Obviously we don’t know why or what was happening on the other end, my guess is something else what going on from their perspective you are unaware of. There are a ton of remote recruiting gigs out there, I know it’s hard but I would move on and find a better company to work for.
I would however send a letter to someone in a larger position about your overall experience with the company. I still believe leaders want to hear this feedback whether it makes and immediate change or not. You could be helping someone down the road have a different experience.
AnonymousJune 27,2023 at 12:04AM UTC
If you don't have an FMLA agreement on file, then you don't have a leg to stand on. If you want to pursue FMLA, you would have needed to contact your child's doctor and if necessary, a lawyer. But keep in mind that all accommodations have to be "reasonable" from the employer's point of view.
So... no, it's not illegal to discriminate against a parent who does not have an FMLA arrangement (in the U.S., unless your state has extra provisions).
Once you've quit, you've lost any leverage you might have had.