Negative feedback

54 Comments

1. Angela Juang, CPC, ELI-MPDecember 17,2021 at 7:05PM UTC

   Hi Anon, I'm actually curious what you mean by a "complainer"! Do you mean that maybe the person provides "negative" feedback frequently, or that they are the only ones with a certain opinion (or something else)? To me, feedback is feedback. You ALWAYS get to choose how to respond to it, whether it's from a "complainer" or not. That includes choosing how to respond in the moment of receiving it, deciding whether it's valid or relevant to you / your organization, and deciding what you want to do about it. People you deem "complainers" may sometimes give feedback you want to take action on, and people you don't think are complainers might sometimes give feedback you don't find relevant. Letting go of the classification of the person behind the feedback may help you take each piece of feedback in a more objective and productive way. I'd be happy to hear what you think!

2. AnonymousDecember 17,2021 at 7:12PM UTC

   Hey Angela, original poster here - thank for the perspective. You make a good point that regardless of the source, feedback can be beneficial.

3. Angela Juang, CPC, ELI-MPDecember 17,2021 at 8:02PM UTC

   So glad to help! Feel free to connect with me if you'd like someone to think things through with :)

4. AnonymousDecember 17,2021 at 7:27PM UTC

   After hearing their comments, are you reacting from a personal place or responding from your professional self? If you break down their comments, are there any key points or just general statements?

5. AnonymousDecember 17,2021 at 10:38PM UTC

   I use true feedback as a coaching moment to explore ways to address negative impacts.

   As for the complainer. I too use a coach & counselor approach but I tie it to an outcome to be achieved by the complainer. It becomes part of their performance goals.

6. AnonymousDecember 17,2021 at 11:14PM UTC

   I recommend taking two steps next time this person provides negative feedback; first, use the 5 Whys Method (ask why then ask it again and again until you've hit 5 whys) to drill down into what the negative feedback is really about. Next, ask how you can help address these concerns and brainstorm with that person. Sometimes, negative feedback is really about a person being stuck in a mindset and as a manager, you can try to help that person overcome by encouraging them to think critically about the nature of the feedback and any possible solutions. Even if the person is just complaining, there is usually a problem underlying the complaint - that person might just be struggling to identify the problem and how to address it and as a manager, you can help them with that. (For example, negative feedback about not enough in-person interaction with the team (before WFH) that comes across as a complaint, may actually be about an uncomfortable chair that can be easily replaced with one that is more ergonomic.)

7. M GutierrezDecember 18,2021 at 2:50PM UTC

   I always coach my team to a pint where if they have negative feedback they need to propose a solution and how we implement the solution. At first it's more of a conversation asking why and what etc and then asking then what we should do about the situation. After enough coaching I now have employees who don't just complain but will bring up an issue and offer a few solutions.

8. AnonymousDecember 19,2021 at 1:34PM UTC

   This is a great way to manage the complaints. I started doing this as well.

   I’ve also had a lot of employees on my crew complain to me about another crew member and then ask me not to say anything. ?

   I’ve made it clear that

   1) if there is a problem at work, and you bring it to me, I will ask you for ideas to solve it, and

   2)when it involves someone else and you want to complain but not have them know that is not really an option.

   I have an all woman crew most of the time and it is a real problem with women, who seem to lack the confidence and self esteem to simply handle things on their own. It can be like having children.

9. AnonymousDecember 19,2021 at 2:22PM UTC

   With many women, they are just about "backstabbing" each other and causing problems as usual, they don't want solutions...they just want to gossip and pick, pick, pick. Ugh....prefer working with "some" men....who just care about solutions and results. Nothing personal or petty. Secondly, there will always be "complainers" where nothing you do is correct or a great or good enough approach. They try to find that needle in their haystack, and then get pricked and cry, and complain incessantly. You will never get anywhere with a nuisance like that. They will go on and on and say: "there is always room for improvement", but refuse to IMPROVE themselves! That's when I look to leave on my own accord, find a healthy working environment and leave them to their own DEMISE!

10. AnonymousDecember 20,2021 at 7:02PM UTC

    Wow! These sexist, woman-belittling comments do not belong here.

11. AnonymousDecember 20,2021 at 7:02PM UTC

    Having women as employees is absolutely not like having children. Your comment is gross.

12. AnonymousDecember 19,2021 at 1:58PM UTC

    in most cases that is an excellent idea. However l, if you have a non complainer to start with, I hope you’ll understand that sometimes going to the manager is the solution after trying every other option they can.

13. CosmosMomDecember 19,2021 at 2:42PM UTC

    Not all employees know what owners or upper management are willing to do to implement a solution. An employee shouldn’t be responsible for solving a problem a business has just because they noticed the problem.

14. AnonymousDecember 19,2021 at 4:08PM UTC

    And as someone who is led, I make sure I have a solution when I complain up to my own manager. Sometimes I don't have a solution and prefacing my complaint with "I don't know what to do" is empowering.

15. Sue Gordon- retired Career CoachDecember 19,2021 at 2:23PM UTC

    This is a non-specific question,so it is hard to answer without context. Is it negative feedback about your management or about the processes?

    Either way- consider the complaint/feedback. Ask yourself is it a valid complaint- can you see their point?

    Does this person/team have a pattern of constant complaining- it's in some people's nature, their way of dealing with the world? If this is a one-off complaint or somewhat rare, then it might be feedback that can help.

    If there is continual complaining even after taking actions recommended, it may be a chronic complainer/culture. If it's a chronic-team-complaint scenario, then you have a morale problem with the team and you'll need to figure out what that is about. Where did it come from? What can you do to grow a more positive culture?

    Do ask the complainants how they would improve whatever they are complaining about. If it's about you, ask what they prefer for supervisory style- then consider whether or not you can accommodate/adjust for that.

    Good luck!

16. MaryDecember 19,2021 at 2:53PM UTC

    Not all negative feedback is complaining. Look at the concerns before determining it is a complainer. I am a opener for a company and have to be the one to point out that fellow coworkers are not following sop as my manager cannot be there all the time. Or that they are not caring how things look to customers. Such as eating in front of them , not locking up at night, etc. So be careful labeling someone a complainer, as their issues may be valid.

17. Marguerite Thibodeaux, Leadership & Career CoachDecember 19,2021 at 3:13PM UTC

    The difference is the expected result of the feedback. Useful feedback should tie to a key agreement of the team, like a result everyone agreed to deliver or a culture agreement like team norms.

    Complaining is feedback that lacks any relationship to business results. Complaining wants the listener to change a behavior for personal preference rather than for the sake of a business outcome.

    This is especially important to dig into on soft skills feedback, since it’s much easier to complain about something that seems related to business soft/professional skills without actually having anything useful to say that ties to results.

18. AnonymousDecember 19,2021 at 3:26PM UTC

    Labeling a person “a complainer” is highly subjective and I think you should ask yourself whether there is a personal bias interfering with your judgment and you own ways of working and problem solving. Generally when an employee brings a concern relating to the business (as opposed to personal/interpersonal ones) it’s because they are giving you, their manager, an opportunity to address it and help solve for it before it gets escalated over your head. I cringe reading this question because “a complainer” sounds like an attack on a person’s character and attempt to discredit them, basically childish name calling unbecoming of a manager of people. Try to give this person enough of your bandwidth to try to understand where it’s coming from, even if it’s inconvenient to address such issues. You’ll find that partnering with those coming to you with concerns will often help avoid major mishaps down the line when those concerns are not addressed - and those mishaps will be both under your watch and you will be entirely to blame. In short, if you are looking to put simplistic labels on people you manage, consider some coaching on how to be a manager or consider that maybe you are not fit to manage people.

19. AnonymousDecember 19,2021 at 3:29PM UTC

    I find this post very upsetting because it reminds me how many people are in positions to manage people without proper training. People leave companies because of bad managers for the most part. If you can’t hear your team members and work with them to give you feedback in a way you find constructive, then don’t be a manager of people.

20. AnonymousDecember 19,2021 at 9:43PM UTC

    And likewise, if you can't treat your manager like a fallible human person who is allowed to make mistakes and also has room for growth, you should put your money where your comment is and sit in the chair for a while yourself.

21. AnonymousDecember 19,2021 at 11:56PM UTC

    Depends on how often that manager makes said mistakes, and what it takes for them to change. We are all human - the employee and the manager - the difference is that the manager has more power and potential for abuses that could seriously impact their staff over the long term.

22. AnonymousDecember 20,2021 at 2:11AM UTC

    I stand by my comment. Your comments read like someone who always has something to say and not much in the way of solutions or willingness to put yourself out there. It's easy to grade others when you won't do it yourself.

23. AnonymousDecember 20,2021 at 7:21PM UTC

    You sure seem to be reading a lot into this and spiraling into something that is more about you than the OP.

    Something for you to consider:

    A lot of people running businesses have employed a lot of people. Therefore, they are going to have insight into what people are responsible and own their work and their behaviors, and what people do not.

    I have two employees that are a perfect example of this.

    One is extremely responsible, open to feedback, taking time to educate themselves to keep growing in the field, and very enthusiastic about the work in general.

    One is constantly talking down the work we do to new employees, and is quite negative about most aspects of the job. A good worker, but a complainer to the nth degree.

    Sometimes you can care about an employee and find them to be decent enough at the job, but the attitude is openly undermining everyone else’s enthusiasm and the only actual label for it is “complainer.”

    You can know this is the case when that person’s co-workers are coming to you as a manager and asking you to find a solution to the constant negativity.

    For those who seem to feel that all the bad behavior at work stems from bad managers or bad companies, I’d suggest you start a business and find out the truth;

    there are a lot of people who do not have the life they think they deserve, and that comes out in many different forms, all of them difficult to manage.

    No one can “make you happy.”

    So, if there is a problem at work, and yet you feel there is no solution, or that is it entirely on a manager to craft a solution, I’d say you’ve clearly never managed a team before.

    Isn’t it easy for so many people who have never done a thing to criticize those who do!

    I’m also not here to sugarcoat reality for all the crybabies who were raised in feelings culture and think they matter more than everyone, and that anyone who is a boss or manager is always the problem.

    If you cannot constructively outline what needs to change and you just want to blame someone for why you are not happy, you are in fact worse than a complainer. And for the record, that seems to be an awful lot of what we are seeing in the workforce these days.

    And this is why a lot of people are selling their businesses and retiring early or just going to do their own thing. Because they know that in a time where we have insane numbers of unemployed people we are having to deal with indentitarians who desire to be viewed as victims and that is what they’ve been taught. Wah.

    If you are so good at what you do, and yet all of these mean managers are “making you feel” (enter any number of words that probably actually describe what you actually are) then go find someone who recognizes your greatness.

    Because just like any relationship in this world, no one can “make you feel,” you feel on your own, and if you believe you deserve better and can do better, well, there ya go. GO GET IT.

24. AnonymousDecember 21,2021 at 7:57AM UTC

    I’ve worked as a project manager in multiple jobs and never been labeled a complainer. I know how to problem solve as it’s literally my job to bring process and operational improvements . I have however seen team members who are similar in their approach bullied for consistently bringing solutions first and still being labeled complainers for not “bringing solutions”. No. They did not bring solutions that would enable the manager to save face. They were turning over the rock and showing what was underneath it. Spineless management.

25. AnonymousDecember 19,2021 at 3:33PM UTC

    I certainly hope you are not labeling your employees to other team members. That would be an insidious way to undermine them and prevent their professional advancement. Ask yourself if something else is going on with you. Are you perhaps professionally threatened by said person? Are you projecting feedback someone else has given you? Are other team members bringing similar concerns and not getting the same label?

26. Madam anon663December 19,2021 at 3:41PM UTC

    This must have been written by my previous manager. You sound as horrible of a manager as she was. She never once made me feel I was "heard", and my opinion of her is rock bottom as was my mental health because of her lack of empathy or at least an attempt at understanding. You need some coaching, at the very least.

27. AnonymousDecember 19,2021 at 4:46PM UTC

    That’s a bit harsh. I understand the OP’s point. Some people just complain no matter where they work or what the situation. They’re glass half empty people. It’s worth hearing them out and sifting through their complaints for potential opportunities to improve but their complaints are not necessarily a reflection of poor management. A seriously negative worker can drag down the team morale.

28. AnonymousDecember 19,2021 at 11:36PM UTC

    Yeah, madam anon sounds like she is potentially a complainer who has no experience on the other side of the issue. ”never made you feel heard?”I had an employee we all bent over backward for, and she played the mental health card constantly to justify her absences, her inability to do the actual work, and even saying “good morning” was a loaded gun because her response was always something like “what’s so good about it?”She was mostly useless, and it felt like we were running a charity to help her. And every time i talked with her, it would be a two hour conversation and then she’d be okay, because she got a ton of attention, and then within a week it was back to complaining that even though she was part time and had been with us for two months she would say things like “arent we all equals?” When she was asked to do things we’d all done for years, decades even. It is tiring. You are adults. If you have a viable solution to whatever the issue is, try bringing that into the conversations you start with managers. Because honestly, I have had every type of employee. And the ones who are passive aggressive become very apparent over the long haul. So do complainers, and entitled people. The same way the responsible people become apparent. The bottom line is, is it something with a solution, or not?

29. AnonymousDecember 20,2021 at 6:54PM UTC

    It's not necessarily their job to come up with solutions just because they recognize problems. It's your job as a manager to make improvements.

30. Madam anon663December 20,2021 at 8:06AM UTC

    I disagree my response was harsh, it was a fact as I see it from personal experience. Plus, I didn't join this forum to sugar coat things. I agree a negative worker is a drag, but in MY experience it is the manger every time, and the OP sounds like every bad manager I have had.

31. AnonymousDecember 19,2021 at 3:43PM UTC

    Maybe the complainer is pointing out your shortcomings as a manager? Look within and be honest with yourself. If they are truly complaining without any connection to the business or a genuine desire to improve the situation, then give them that feedback immediately and privately so they have an opportunity to correct themselves. Be constructive with suggestions on how to frame those concerns in a more constructive way. Give tangible examples as opposed to impressions that will come across seeped in personal bias.

32. Amy GeffenDecember 19,2021 at 4:28PM UTC

    Most people leave their jobs because of the behavior of their manager. If more than one person is giving you negative feedback then you need to listen to what they are saying and see if you can make changes in your behavior. Meet with members of your team individuallyand try to get genuine feedback from them with examples of how your behavior has affected them. Time for you to work with a leadership coach.

33. AnonymousDecember 20,2021 at 6:17PM UTC

    This is honestly the best advice I’ve seen on here. Even if the manager feels like the employee is “a complainer,” the employee is obviously unhappy enough to complain. A good manager will work to identify the root cause and-as possible- ensure the employee is supported in their role. Almost all managers say they are “open to feedback,” but that’s simply lip service. A manager title does not mean the manager is more self-aware than anyone else. A leadership coach, provided with full and transparent employee feedback, is always a good option.

34. AnonymousDecember 19,2021 at 5:19PM UTC

    I know there have been some very critical responses to this post, but at least the person is asking for help. There are many managers that become worse and worse because they don’t ask these types of questions. Some of the responses have been more attacking than constructive, which isn’t really fair. To the poster: as you gain experience, you should start to realise that the people who you may be tempted to label as ‘complainers’ are the ones who are often airing the grievances of the whole team. They’re just the ones that have the guts to say something, which means that you should take their ‘complaints’ seriously, as many of your employees are likely to be having the same thoughts. Note that I’m not referring to ‘I don’t like the brand of coffee we get’ type of complaint, but actually legit complaints. Remember that complaints about your interactions with employees, company policies, etc matter too - it’s not only ‘processes’ that need improvement - people do too!! Focusing entirely on processes is an indication of a toxic workplace - people matter too. I have worked in many organizations with consistent turnover, and the ‘nice’ employees claim to be leaving because of ‘great opportunities’, but it’s often a ruse. It’s rare that I’ve met an employee that has left when they’re happy, despite any apparent appearances. Grieved employees good at ‘playing the game’ know they’ll get labelled as ‘complainers’ and won’t get a good reference as they’re ‘not great employees’ if they dare to reveal management’s faults, so they keep their lips zipped, resulting in continued turnover and lack of management development. It’s sad. You have to learn as a manager to not take negative feedback personally, but rather to keep lines of communication open. Your employees should be taught how to provide professional feedback upward, both positive AND negative. Yes, this is YOUR job as a manager - you can’t assume that non-managers know how to provide this type of feedback appropriately. As a manager, you should be providing opportunities for your employees to provide constructive feedback. And you need to actually listen and respond professionally and with regard to your employees. For example, our company just had a forum of sorts where they got feedback from various groups in our organization (seemingly openly). From what I heard, there was some negative feedback, particularly around returning to the office in the middle of this awful pandemic. However, rather than recognizing and accepting this, the leader of our org scheduled a meeting with the entire staff and, with voice shaking, announced that she was enforcing even stricter rules around return to office and that these would only be changed ‘in extremely rare cases’ and of course with her personal permission. This is despite incredible growth in the last year. I LOVE my job. But I now I’m strongly considering leaving. I’ve already started redrafting my resume. Her actions very clearly show that she has little regard for her employees needs and desires, at least so long as they are at odds with her own needs and desires. As a top leader, the culture in the org will get worse, not better under her leadership. The numbers may keep going up, but the culture will become toxic. So I don’t think I can stay. Will I say why I’m leaving when I leave? Absolutely not. I value my career too much. Will others leave because of her and also not say anything? Absolutely. Will this person become a better leader? Absolutely not. Eventually she will destroy the culture of the organisation. This takes years, though, so by the time she’s destroyed it, nobody is going to realise it’s her fault. Don’t be this leader. 1) actively request and respond to feedback from your employees 2) teach them to give upward feedback in a positive and constructive way 3) don’t take negative comments personally, but use them to investigate feelings around the office and act on problems to make them better and 4) have respect for your employees - REAL respect, not ‘I respect you but I’m better than you’. In essence, be a caring, honorable and competent leader.

35. AnonymousDecember 19,2021 at 6:54PM UTC

    this was me at a prior job. I was pointing out real issues and inefficiencies in their processes. It was taken as just complaining. But I really was trying to make the department better. Some bosses just don’t want to change, even for the better.

36. AnonymousDecember 20,2021 at 6:47PM UTC

    Thank you! At my last job, I was a top performer and constantly praised for the first three years - until I started giving "negative" feedback (for which I did present solutions when I had them in mind). I had heard from a top leader in the company that the people who were previously fired at the beginning of the pandemic had "bad attitudes." Well, these were people who were known for bringing up issues to management. Then, what do you know? A few months after I started giving "negative" feedback and asking for changes, I was told by the same top leader that I have had a "bad attitude" for "months." How did my attitude suddenly go from great to "bad"? The excuse was that I didn't smile enough on internal meetings when I asked for more specific feedback than "having a bad attitude." I ended up leaving and used an excuse about wanting to look into different industries. The truth is I would have been happy to stay if they'd listened to my feedback instead of retaliating against me for giving it.

37. AnonymousDecember 19,2021 at 7:49PM UTC

    I fieat ask myself..."Is there justice in those words?" Then I require them to present complaints with viable solutions. Those without solutions? Usually just complainers.

38. April LineDecember 19,2021 at 8:16PM UTC

    I like this question, I think one of the marks of a great manager is a self-interrogating ethos that is honest and unflinching.

    It is really hard for a lot employees to bring up less positive feedback because they are worried about keeping their jobs, or because of previous experiences. I think if people are coming to you with negative feedback, you're probably doing something right because they know they can.

    Like others have suggested, watch for patterns, encourage employees to help solve problems by suggesting solutions, and when they bring those to you, do your best to implement, or explain why you can't implement at this time and open a dialog about other ways to solve the problem.

    The unfortunate truth is that some folks are just malcontent, and if you begin with every constructive feedback from every employee in a solutions oriented way, you'll quickly see patterns in those folks who can't be content or who are just hyper critical in general.

    It's OK to say, if a person brings problems without solutions, or does not participate in solving problems, "It seems like maybe this positon/job/company isn't meeting your needs. How can we solve this?" And if there is not productive forward motion afterward, part ways.

    We have shiftef to a really solutions oriented and intense employee relations strategy at my job after losing a couple malcontent humans in quick succession, and while it's sometimes uncomfortable or difficult, morale is high, our folks feel engaged and heard, and everyone chips in wherever because we also really practice speaking our appreciation with intention and sincerity.

    You're doing a good job. Thanks for asking this question.

39. Shelby CDecember 19,2021 at 8:25PM UTC

    I used to be in process improvement, so one of my major job functions was to essentially give and take criticism. Complainers are negative in everything about the way they present the information. People that are actually interested in initiating positive change don't complain. They give thoughtful feedback and usually present solutions. Plus, in my experience, complainers aren't happy about anything. No matter what we do, some people aren't happy unless they are unhappy.

    I would be remiss if I did not say that as a Manager, if someone is complaining about their treatment, it is an entirely different matter. If someone is talking about actual treatment, safety, behaviors, and/or work conditions, all of those items should be listened to and addressed immediately. You also need to explore if they are the only one that is experiencing these feelings or if they are the only one that is brave enough to advocate for themself and/or the group. You can't take anything personally. It will not help. When personalities and feelings are involved, you need to set all of that aside and remember that this is business. It is your responsibility to protect the company and its assets. The employees are assets too.

40. Valentina Huang, MBA, SHRM-CPDecember 19,2021 at 8:30PM UTC

    This is a great question. The fact that you are asking, already means that you have an open mind about receiving feedback. I think that frequency of feedback and consistency are can be telling. How often are they providing feedback? Is it about your management style, or is it more so related to a process/system challenge? Is this individual also presenting solutions on how they think it could be improved? I think there are different ways to approach feedback. Now if individual only has negative feedback every time you have chat with them, then there may be a bigger issue at hand. I would start with the mindset of giving each team member the benefit of the doubt that they have good intentions. If they repeatedly only have negative feedback and not presenting solutions, then find out what their real challenge is about. Good luck!

41. AnonymousDecember 20,2021 at 6:11PM UTC

    As an employee, how should I tell my manager that I feel micromanaged without sounding like a complainer? I’ve been with the company for one year. I’m in a professional position and come to this position with a lot of education and over ten years’ experience. I honestly feel that I’m prevented from performing well and have tried to look for middle ground, but it seems like it’s “her way or the highway.” This is particularly unfortunate as I am in project management and process improvement.

42. AnonymousDecember 20,2021 at 7:21PM UTC

    I'm in the same position. Moved into a role I didn't want due to attrition during reopening. Very small company. Moved from a role I've done for many years and love to one I have no experience to draw from and no examples to follow. Absolutely unfulfilled.

43. Nicki HendrixDecember 20,2021 at 2:09AM UTC

    I’ve dealt with both. I generally divide feedback by utility and perspective. Specifically, does it include solutions, and is it aimed at improving a process rather than dumping on it? If so, I’m glad to receive it. Sometimes I get solutions that are “I’m still thinking about how we could do this better,” and I love that, too. But we can’t do our work well without feedback, and innovation requires the best thinking that we have available, whatever part of the team it comes from. As long as we’re focused on that, as a manager, I’m all for it.

44. Clydene HorriganDecember 20,2021 at 3:42AM UTC

    If the complaint isn’t offered with a potential solution, ask the team member one (or many) of these questions:

    1. What would they like the end result to look like?
    2. What have they already tried?
    3. What do they need from you?

    Asking these types of questions will help them be part of the solution. It also helps them grow their problem solving skills, and hopefully over time they will come to you with this information at hand in the future when they have a problem.

45. AnonymousDecember 20,2021 at 6:21PM UTC

    I think the assignation of “complainer” is a cop-out that poor managers use to excuse their own shortcomings. Chances are that the person speaking up is actually acting as the spokesperson for the team. It doesn’t matter how open to feedback you think you are - this statement already speaks to defensiveness. As someone already suggested, a neutral third party leadership coach is a great place to start to explore this type of feedback.

46. AnonymousDecember 20,2021 at 9:10PM UTC

    I am currently looking for a new job because my manager has put a target on me for speaking up. They have in fact affected my health by bullying me at this point. Sometimes 'complainers' are bringing up legitimate grievances. But when the manager is a micromanager and won't listen, and nothing changes, what choice do we have but to say something and apparently leave?

47. Michele MaviDecember 21,2021 at 3:16AM UTC

    I think the majority of the responses are correct. It’s a balance to learn this as a manager but getting to know your team as individuals is a great place to start. If you understand what drives them and what motivates them you’ll also be in a better position to understand their complaints. Some of the feedback may be valid and some that may not be valid is still the experience your employee is having so you’ll want to get to the bottom of it somehow, again usually by getting to under them better as an individual. Building that strong foundation will be a big help.

48. AnonymousDecember 21,2021 at 5:47AM UTC

    Also, I just want to point out that the majority of my managers are promoted to these positions without professional training or formal education to either recommend or support the transition. They have been at the company for so long that they end up in managerial positions for their niche expertise (but likely have not had formal training or education beyond the breadth of their immediate work). I believe that managers need to be educated in managing, not merely promoted (as is the case in my personal experiences). I’m in a situation where my manager is desperately trying to control a group of professionals to the point of utter stagnation. She doesn’t understand our own education or expertise (and she doesn’t necessarily need to), but she does need to recognize that we contribute in areas of her deficiency. We are NOT a threat to her job- she just needs to manage in a way that doesn’t stifle the talent she hired. She’s literally shooting herself in the foot.

49. Jules EliseDecember 24,2021 at 7:06PM UTC

    100%, I was promoted and asked for training multiple times 3 years ago. They are finally training all of the managers, I wish they didn't take so long but the trainer is superb.

50. AnonymousDecember 21,2021 at 9:07AM UTC

    A sign of toxic management is when your top performers become silent. A lot of the time it’s because they’ve given up on management and have gotten the message that to come with solutions they will still be called “complainers”. Next time your company assembled a task force to understand their attrition problem, volunteer to join the discussion and tell them all about the complainer on your team.

51. AnonymousDecember 21,2021 at 7:39PM UTC

    I am going just that I am a leader in our ERG's.

52. Jules EliseDecember 24,2021 at 7:08PM UTC

    Or they go silent when issues are complete ignored even if the manager knows that they are not complaining. If you are a top performer trying to solve the issues you see and nothing gets done you are going to give up pretty quickly and hopefully move on.

53. Charissa D CorderDecember 23,2021 at 6:22PM UTC

    Striking a balance between processing negative feedback and understanding it through self critical analysis as well as determining when that feedback is not relevant is important. Top performers often shut down when they perceive they are not being heard for "fear" of being branded as a complainer. However if one of these folks is truly unhappy in their role, a good manager would want to hear why and how to turn this around before hearing it from a skip level report or hearing the news that resource is moving on.

    Complaints exist for a reason. If there is a complainer on your team, yes that could be chalked up to a negative personality or something deeper. The person is genuinely unhappy in their role, with the work, or do not fit with the team. Ignoring this is really not something one should do, rather dig into what is going on and don't ignore the negativity. Teams do better when everyone is getting along.

    Be aware of the tendency towards toxic positivity. A steadfast refusal to listen to any negative feedback can be rather harmful. Refusing to process criticism will eventually lead to not seeing issues that others are reporting. A furthering of this is one's team follows this example and becomes so thin skinned that improvement becomes impossible. No one is perfect, nor can they be.

54. Liz MilneJanuary 2,2022 at 1:52AM UTC

    Ask them for suggestions for improvement.

    If they're just being Minnie Moaniepants, then they won't have any answers. If it's genuine they might need a bit of time to come up with a solution, so ask, 'What should we do about that?' and if they can't answer straight away, tell them to sleep on it and get back to you tomorrow - and then remember to chase them up on it, so they know you weren't just trying to get them out of your office!

    If they suggest something silly, don't laugh or sneer, just explain why it's not feasible, like, 'it would be too expensive to implement,' 'it will impact on productivity' or something that they will understand.

    If all else fails, teach them how to give proper feedback, so they are able to articulate issues.