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Not doing so great

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Maria

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Not doing so great

Hello, I'm 42 years old and I'm fed up of working. I thought I'd found the perfect job for myself but I'm realizing now that it may not be. I can't quit unless I've got another job lining and it seems that they refused or are not willing to let me go, which call me crazy but I would look forward to it. For the past 5 weeks at least I've been constantly stressed at work for different reasons. Everytime I seem to move past something, something else comes up. I hate feeling that way. My other solution is to win the lottery which is most unlikely to happen. I feel miserable on my position.. what would be the reason for not letting me go, aka lay off or fired me? I need some insight and advice. TIA.

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  1. Anonymous

    They can't refuse to let you go. Once you find something else, take it.

    Are you in a temp or permanent role? Do you have to work with others or are you on your own?

    How long have you been there- is it possible to transfer to a different department assuming organization is large enough?

  2. Maria

    Well,I had given my resignation in January 2021 and they didn't accept it. They rather modified my job description to better suit me I guess. Which I thought was awesome at the time. It's a permanent job in HR so I do have to work with others most times and I've been there for over 4 years. Unfortunately, being transferred isn't a possibility add it's a small company.

  3. Anonymous

    Maybe after 3 years, it's time to polish your resume and look t other options. If you find something, I'd certainly take it and mot let anyone hold you back from your desires!!

  4. Maria

    Yes, I'm looking but not act actively. I'm a little scared of the interviews I have to do to be honest. But I'm keeping my eyes open. And this tube, when I give in my resignation, I won't take no for an answer, even if they again modified my job description.

  5. Anonymous

    Interviews can be scary for anyone but not as scary as being miserable day in and day out at current role.

    There's TON of material everywhere online, LinkedIn, and YouTube. I'd polish resume, perhaps self-study course to enhance your experience and start looking. You never know....

  6. Anonymous

    I am in the exact same age, position/circumstance as you! Work on your resume, get a plan in place and you have to start looking for another position. I would love to quit but cannot afford to without having something else lined up.

    If it's affecting your mental health, let it go but you have to do what's best for you.

  7. Felicia Lucco

    They may have to pay you unemployment, whereas if they make you miserable enough to quit, they are off the hook.

  8. Eileen M

    Rock and a hard place. I wouldn't try to rationalize crazy -- organizations do things that don't always make sense. I can get behind the idea that it's better for people to quit than pay them to leave like a layoff/severance. A few things I found helpful, when faced I was in similar situations, was assess what I could control and stop focusing on what I couldn't. I also focused on what I could benefit from -- is there is new skills I've been wanting to try out, a new tone or way of speaking or responding to toxic people. What better time to try something out than in a situation like this. Control and take what you want from the situation. These two concepts have helped me stay sane, grow, and slowly I was able to find a place to bloom.

  9. Anonymous

    I'm not OP but DAILY I do this!!!!

    "....assess what I could control and stop focusing on what I couldn't"

    I'm in a role I finally achieved after years of work. My friends and family supportive, but at the end of the day, all on ME to change.

    I'm researching CPEs to keep me current so I can maximize my position and , should it end- I'm continuing to better my opportunities.

    Learning doesn't end at graduation or new job offer, IT BEGINS!!!!

  10. Anonymous

    Tough love: the job isn’t the issue. You need to fix your attitude/outlook. In the subsequent posts you’ve said you think it “may not be your dream job”, “you aren’t actively looking”, “you’re afraid of interviews”, you flat out “don’t want to work”.

    Your employer changed your job to better suit you, still not happy. People get tired of helping ungrateful people/people unwilling to help themselves. It costs the company $ to lay you off and reasonable accommodations have been made. They’re going to let you stew in your pile of misery.

    Waiting on the lottery or a man to come into your life to pay for your lifestyle is a dream for children watching Disney movies. Grow up. Take a class, get therapy, figure out what would make you happy and move towards that. No one is coming to save you. Till your own soil, plant a seed, and watch yourself grow.

  11. JillianS

    Such a great response! You are very wise.

  12. Anonymous

    Not to burst your bubble, but there is no such thing as a "perfect job." There will always be someone or something that gets under your skin. If your company has an EAP program, reach out to them to see if they can get your focus on track or refer you to a therapist, as you need someone who will help you get your thoughts and direction on track.

  13. Anonymous

    There will always be about 20% of our jobs we don't like. There will always be people we work with we don't like. There will always be managers we don't like. But everything is temporary. We almost have to suffer through it and figure out what makes us happy. Once you figure that out, then proceed and find your way there. Agreed on EAP. Contact your HR department or their website and see if you can find a therapist. Sometimes talking through the issues with someone can help guide us and give us tools to cope. Good luck to you!

  14. Maria

    Thanks for all your insight and advice. I will definately take it all with me to get where I need/want to be.

  15. Anonymous

    Why are you waiting for termination or layoff? Are you in the US or is this specific to another country?

  16. Anonymous

    Because she wants to play the victim and get paid to do nothing.

  17. Anonymous

    I am a single mom with a mortgage to pay and put up with a toxic environment for several months --while an employer weaponized the knowledge of a close family member's terminal illness against me--to hang on as long as I could to support my kids. I was let go in October around other layoffs and have been job searching since.

    I understand burnout, but 5 weeks . . . see if you can take some PTO?

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