I have a question for this community.

Anonymous

November 2,2021 at 2:10PM UTC

Welcome to Fairygodboss!

We’re the largest online career community helping women achieve their career goals. Gain access to articles, jobs, events, and a supportive network of women and allies. Membership is free, always.

I have a question for this community. Is it normal to feel envious of your friends careers? My friend just got a great new job at a company I've always wanted to work for (and I did interview with them many years ago, but I didn't get the job then) and I'm very happy for her but also feeling somewhat jealous? Is that normal?

JOIN THE SEASON OF SHARING:

1. Find three different members who are seeking advice and share your wisdom.

2. Post your burning career question or a workplace scenario you need advice on and then copy and paste this to the bottom of your post!

Why women love us:

Daily articles on career topics
Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
Advice and support from an authentic community
Events that help you level up in your career
Free membership, always

13 comments

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

13 Comments

Join the conversation

AnonymousNovember 2,2021 at 2:20PM UTC
I definitely think it's normal - especially because of the the bit where you say you are still happy for them. If it turns into bad jealousy or hate, that's where you have a problem - I think?
Lorna Rose, J.D., M.S.November 2,2021 at 3:10PM UTC
Of course that's normal, and it's not necessarily a bad thing! Jealousy is a powerful emotion that you can use to drive your next steps. Writing down on paper the specific things that you feel jealous about, no matter how silly or insignificant they might seem, can help you identify what you feel that you're missing from your own professional experience. Now you have the beginning of a road map to get to where you want to be.
AnonymousNovember 2,2021 at 4:52PM UTC
I will do this, thank you!
AnonymousNovember 2,2021 at 3:45PM UTC
I totally understand this and I do think it is normal. We want what is best for those we love but we also want what is best for us too.
AnonymousNovember 2,2021 at 4:08PM UTC
Yes it's very normal. Use that energy as an indication that you have untapped potential and should probably stay open to great jobs yourself. If you have these feelings you know you're destined for a much more exciting abd challenging career.
I say use this to your advantage and motivation.
AnonymousNovember 2,2021 at 4:51PM UTC
This is great advice, thank you
AnonymousNovember 2,2021 at 4:41PM UTC
So human and so normal! My advice would be to take a few minutes to think about some of the things you're proud of in your own life/job and that should ease the jealousy and help you be genuinely happy for your friend.
Jackie GhedineNovember 2,2021 at 8:38PM UTC
Very Normal.
You can absolutely use envy to propel yourself to achieve. Before you do so, consider why you are envious and do you want what they have because they have it or because you would like your career to be soaring the same way? This is an important distinction.
Once you've uncovered what's driving your envy you're ready to make a plan for the professional success you want. Go for it~
AnonymousNovember 2,2021 at 10:39PM UTC
I've definitely gotten envious of previous colleagues when they've gotten new careers. This has been especially true over the past year plus while I've been on the hunt for a new job. It was getting to the point that I was getting desperate and applying for positions that somewhat interested me.
I took a bit of a step back and realized a lot of that envy I was feeling was around the fact I wasn't happy in my personal life. I've also looked inwardly and thought of a few things that I can do to make me happier outside of work and have been slowly working on implementing those items.
And while I'm still on the job hunt, I've made it a point to try to stay positive during work - even when coworkers make obvious mistakes or aren't putting forth the same effort I am.
April ChuNovember 3,2021 at 1:27AM UTC
Very normal and you are not alone. I was reminded this weekend that we all live busy lives and sometimes what we see/hear is really only the surface. They may have great careers but you don't know what is going on below the surface, in their personal lives. You can only control your life so do the best you can (we all are) and practice gratitude and count your blessings. and you may be surprised. The people you envy could also be envious of you !
Felicia QhamataNovember 4,2021 at 8:16PM UTC
Yes, it's normal. And every ones different so your path may not be the same as hers, but it worked for you to go the path you did.
I've been passed for companies I've really wanted to work for and had friends end up there. It sucks, but sometimes it's also for the best. Maybe something else is meant for you.
Sarah DyeNovember 6,2021 at 8:08PM UTC
Yes it is normal. It is something that I experienced myself. When I find myself feeling envious of my friends and their careers, I look at what is stirring up my jealousy first. Then I evaluate what I'm doing and figure out ways to improve my current plan to get the results I want. Plus I always remind myself that there's no clear one size fit all path everyone needs to take. Mine is still unfolding and there's a company out there that is a good fit for me.
AnonymousNovember 15,2021 at 12:08AM UTC
Yes, it is normal. You work just as hard and you deserve to have great opportunities happen to you. Maybe your friend can assist you getting in this company once she has been there a little while (if you are still interested) or forward your resume to a hiring manager or find out who you can network with.