I have been on medical leave for about 4 months due to an accident that required surgery to fix.

Maya Mattison

October 20,2021 at 5:20PM UTC

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I have been on medical leave for about 4 months due to an accident that required surgery to fix. It was not work-related. Unfortunately, my injury didn't heal as expected, and I now have reduced use of my hands, and will require a second surgery to fix the damage caused by the first. The second surgery must repair damage that was aggravated by the first, and caused by my job and my occupation, My FMLA has not run out, however my job protected leave has, my manager and his boss and the director (and the CIO, AND the company president) don't care, they're willing to hold my position for me as long as necessary. HR and I had a very uncomfortable conversation yesterday where I was basically told to come back AMA or get let go despite having a previous RTW date that the doctor only extended by about 10 days due to a procedure that needs to be completed BEFORE I can return to work even AMA. HR has been kept informed, and "given a timeline" as they requested and they still made this threat.

Add to this: my mobility has greatly decreased to the point where I require a cane even inside my own home.

Add to this:

my credit is shot because of the medical bills related to the injury and 1st surgery, all of my savings is gone except for my 401K, My employer is being kind enough to pay me my full salary, as my short term disability leave hasn't run out yet.

Add to this:

The apartment complex where I expected to live for another 3 years, has sold the property and is in the process of displacing all tenants. I have, MAYBE, 60 days to find another place to live, in my budget that will accept 2 cats. Was just told this, nothing has been delivered in writing. This is DESPITE always paying rent in full and on time.

Add to this, although this is "less" important:

This enforced break has made me realize that my career field is destroying me, mentally and physically. I cannot continue long-term, although getting another L1 job is easier than falling off a log. I have almost 15 years of experience. I have a plethora of skills and talents and a lot to offer..... and I CAN, NOT, endure frontline support work for another 25+ years.

Yet none of the "obvious" choices interest me either - our company treats its developers horribly, and trying to get promoted to L2 would just mean MORE time on the phone, the very thing that is crushing me,

I have all my previous experience and the beginnings of a freelance career in copyediting and proofreading, however, they are only beginnings and I presently need a full time career to pay bills while I get that off the ground.

I don't know what to do or where to go from here.

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AnonymousOctober 20,2021 at 7:14PM UTC
Wow this is all coming at you in a tidal wave. I really don't know how much I can offer in the way of advice but I want to to know I support you in spirit.
What I know and what I come back to time and time again in my life when I'm over with so much is to remind myself that I'm human, I'm capable and I can only do what I can do.
So I take the list, just as you've done and I break it down in small, actionable tasks. I try very hard not to get ahead of myself because it's tempting to look at the big picture and start spreading yourself really thing.
I prioritize each issue in order of importance.
1. If your return to work is priority #1 then break that down into a plan that includes everything related to you return, special accommodations, transportation if that's an issue, readying your clothing if you can't easily wear things buttons zippers, etc. Easy meals that don't require much in the way of cooking, medication plans and those daily pill plan boxes
2. If surgery #2 is next up, get you labs on the calendar so you can work around that. Line up family and friends as support post surgery. Alert HR as the the timing of Surgery #2. speak with your insurance company to sort out what you can do ahead if time. Consider a GO FUND ME page to collect contributions from friends, family and coworkers to help. Sometimes people don't know how to offer help and this is perfect.
3. Housing. Since the time clock hasn't started ticking yet you can begin your search for options on this front. Start looking at neighborhoods and considering roommates and other alternatives to both help you move and find an affordable living are.
4. A new job or work situation once you're on your feet. Keep track of positions that get you off the phones in a support role and into something that more fitting for this time in your career. Keep a journal and track ideas and thoughts on your career. Since this step is a bit further down the list in terms of urgency, just play with day dreaming about what might be a next step. Let it ruminate for a bit.
5. Your budget. You may need to think about some professional advice to get a plan together to help ease your financial stress.
I'm sure there is much more that will go on your list but this is how I would begin addressing life's problems right now.
Finally, I must add that is super important not to forget your self-care. You are recovering from surgery, you have another waiting to happen, so eat well, exercise like walking outside, even it is just 1/2 a block with your cane. Move and get fresh air. Eat well and really pay attention to your rest. Your body needs sleep to heal and your mind needs relief. Try meditation, breathing exercises and mindful practices of gratitude.
Stay well stay strong. All of this will get done. Remember you're only human and you can only do so much each day. The momentum comes putting one foot in front of the other. Baby steps add up.
I wish you well.
AnonymousOctober 21,2021 at 9:14PM UTC
Whew that's a lot - so sorry you're going through this but I promise you will get through it. Do you have a family member or friend who you can stay with while you sort things out at work? And with your HR, was it only one person who said this to you or was the threat coming from the top? If it was just one person, you may be able to elevate the issue and get the extended time you need (and your doctor said you should have) to get your other procedure, but if it was coming from the top then that's another issue altogether. I would also go to your boss. If they like you and want you to stay, they may be able to help you battle HR on this for the time being.