Hello fellow professionals.

180 Comments

1. AnonymousMay 18,2023 at 6:30PM UTC

   So you do care and claiming you don't care is a lie?

   Because if you didn't care, you'd just say "Cool, but it on my badge."

   Given you claim this doesn't matter to you, why pick a fight about "virtue signaling." There may be other people that it does matter to. If you actually care - which I doubt - when an environment makes something like pronouns on badges or email signatures or whatever universal then those people who do have a difference in pronouns or who are looking to be respected are less othered because they aren't the only ones.

   If you find this such a problem, I honestly think you need to find a new org to volunteer with because your values seem way off base with theirs.

2. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 6:47PM UTC

   The organization is wildlife rehab. We literally wear badges around the facility for the 3-4 other volunteers that we work with to be able to read our names.

   I care because in the effort to be "all-inclusive" they are forcing an uncomfortable behavior on people who may not want this. If they had presented it as a choice of having it on the badge, that would be acceptable. They are choosing for each of the volunteers to put it on the badge without asking if they want it.

   It's akin to saying "you must wear [choose a color]' for no apparent reason. The [color] is not representative of the organization or the person they are demanding wear it. It is a personal choice of the one person who wants to control the people around them, to feel important, or in this case, to feel good about themself.

   In my opinion inclusivity is shown by actions; involving all people in activities, conversing with them, asking for their input. A pronoun on a badge doesn't do any of these things. And it IS virtue signaling.

3. beccashart49@gmail.comMay 19,2023 at 8:25PM UTC

   THIS!!

4. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 12:43PM UTC

   Absolutely!!

5. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 12:46PM UTC

   So, don’t do it! If you don’t care about what you “signal” to others, it shouldn’t matter to you. If you want everyone else in the organization to conform to what you want, which is none of what you’ve decided is virtue signaling allowed so you don’t appear different, then it’s a different matter altogether.

   You really should take a few minutes and read through the comments and your responses to those comments. When it is all together, you come off as a person very set in your beliefs, to the point where you appear to have an agenda that allows no room to be open to anything different.

6. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 1:41PM UTC

   I agree with this comment. You can do what you want. What you cannot do is control how others perceive you. We’ve never been able to have it both ways. Your organization has decided this is important to their culture, for whatever reason. If you don’t like it, it may not be the right place for you.

7. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 1:09PM UTC

   Many places of employment and volunteering require a uniform, of sorts, anyway.
   Black pants and black shirts for all servers, is an example. Does it change the function? Nope, It is part of the workplace culture.

   How about me and mine as your pronouns? I’m only half-joking here.

   Seriously though, about 20 people have explained it to you, and you just keep coming back to “all about me” rebuttals.

   As mentioned in another post farther up - just don’t do it. And, if you feel judged from your choices, I’m guessing it is not the first time. We all make choices for which people silently form opinions about us - every day. Be yourself - by what you write, other people exhibiting what you perceive as virtue signaling should have zero effect on you.

8. AnonymousMay 18,2023 at 6:32PM UTC

   Your place of volunteering is making an effort to be inclusive and embracing all persons. Regardless of whether you feel it is relevant or not.

   My thought is if any rule, guideline or effort has the goal of inclusion, I'm all for it. I'm going to walk my talk.

9. AnonymousMay 18,2023 at 6:35PM UTC

   Knowing the type of volunteer work would be helpful. However, on the surface. To be clear, you do not “totally embrace” this for people to whom it’s important. By putting pronouns on your badge, you are embrace the importance it has to others. If you don’t want to do this, I suggest finding another volunteer gig.

10. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 6:38PM UTC

    Wildlife rehab

11. AnonymousMay 18,2023 at 7:04PM UTC

    This is a dilemma, indeed. I get it.

    Personally, I do not care for the pronoun designation *for myself* (others are free to do what they want) and thus do not use it personally or professionally as that is my personal choice - with an exception. When I have been invited to attend extracurricular events where this was the norm for everyone and requested, I did oblige as that was being respectful to the organization and I also wanted to be there for whatever reason - that's me though.

    Yet, you mentioned that you asked them not to do this. If they honored that, then it's all good, really, and you were being transparent about that. What's done is already done in that respect so I guess the question would be does this organization still align with your values or what is that you want to do?

12. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 6:37PM UTC

    THIS is a real conversation. The organization is a wildlife rehab. My purpose for joining is/was to learn how to care for, respect, and rescue/rehab wildlife and to do outreach to teach others. It is not focused on humans except for fundraising and outreach. You ask if the organization still aligns with my values, and I'm not sure if, by this question, you're assuming if my values are exclusive. They are not. I'm comfortable with and accepting of people just being themselves, however they present. I'm NOT comfortable with others demanding I conform to what THEY want. In fact isn't the whole forced conformity the reason for people wanting their pronouns recognized?

13. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 7:24PM UTC

    OP, I totally understand and agree with your perspective. I really do. 100% (You are talking to a non-conformist here and I have never been one for forcing anything ). "You do you, boo" would be my motto yet it's not reciprocal in the case that you mention here.

    Since you already made it clear where you stand, the only thing would be to keep on, keepin' on. It may be a lesson for other people in this organization to say, "You know what, this lady is not about this and that's ok and we still appreciate her contributions because she's helping wildlife and that is what truly matters here." (Will not debate this with other commenters, either).

    The two times that I voluntarily did the pronouns were for a). a woman's group as the organizer wanted everyone to be biologically female (again, not getting into any debate on this from any commenters) and thus to ensure that she asked for everyone to designate it and b). for a meeting regarding religious intolerance and abuse as the organizer was a female to a male trans person and wanted to include everyone as he understood things from every perspective and didn't want to leave anyone out from that particular discussion. Now I supported both topics and thus obliged but again, that was my choice.

14. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 12:43PM UTC

    THIS reply indicates that you’ve already drawn your line, and were just waiting to share your views. Believe me, we’ve all heard it before. I’m in my 50s and didn’t get it at first either. I finally figured out that it is not about me, and that it costs me nothing to make someone else feel okay about themselves. Your values may not align, and the people you work with may, or may not, be okay with it. You be you, and let the chips fall where they fall.

    At the end of the day, we all form opinions about others within a few seconds of meeting them. It’s how we survived as a species. Being the only one in an organization not participating says something. Should it? Maybe not, but it does. It’s up to you to decide how you want to present yourself.

15. AnonymousMay 18,2023 at 7:34PM UTC

    When you offer your pronouns, it helps normalize the fact that not everyone’s pronouns correspond with their gender. Normalizing pronouns is a powerful way of minimizing harm for transgender, genderqueer, and non-binary people. By simply offering your pronouns, you can become a better ally and help normalize gender identity and sexual orientation.

16. AnonymousMay 18,2023 at 7:55PM UTC

    Your organization is trying to foster an inclusive culture.

    Your support will help everyone you interact with feel included and valued. You are privileged and doubt anyone will mis-gender you. Not everyone feels that way and you can show support by adding your pronouns even if it has zero importance to you.

    https://www.cultureamp.com/blog/gender-pronouns-in-workplace

17. AnonymousMay 18,2023 at 8:57PM UTC

    I'm sorry that you don't find the importance but it's really not for you, it's for others to feel safe and accepted and supported. The feeling of not belonging because you are deemed different is a real fear of not being in an inclusive environment. Do it for those who are not feeling valued, seen, heard and accepted for exactly who they want to be.

18. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 6:28PM UTC

    I get the importance to others, but I really don't connect with how me identifying as a specific pronoun makes anyone else feel safe. The organization helps animals. We do outreach (roughly 10% of the time), and the general atmosphere is incredibly inclusive to all. We have had transgender volunteers, people who are gender fluid, etc, and without any coercion they are all accepted by everyone, myself included (I even helped guide one you transgender boy to get his first job - I'm so incredibly proud of him!). My pronouns, IMO, are irrelevant.

19. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 7:41PM UTC

    I think they were pointing out that it's not about you. That's what you need to surpass. Not sure how this equates with help animals. The agitation of not wanting to be open to this, I can see is a pain point for you. Always encourage growth within yourself for others, for which you may not be able to relate to, but for others. unclear on what you thought you would get in responses, support? straight talk?

20. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 3:51PM UTC

    You have a serious problem of not letting it go. If she doesn't want to use pronouns on her name tag and has explained why numerous times, why do you keep insisting she change. What happened to the 1st Ammendment and Freedom of Speech? Or do you want to change that too?

21. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 4:39PM UTC

    Personally, I’m not insisting she change, only that she realize, in this specific organization, where a decision has been communicated, she will stand out.

    And likely not in a good way.

    From my perspective, her responses to comments say much more about her. I suspect she is virtue signaling to folks like you. Poor me, I will not conform, and no one cares - free speech, wave the flag! So she comes to an open forum, already having her answer from the organization itself, looking for comfort. For those of us that work in the real world of keeping good employees in our workplace, and keeping them engaged, folks like OP just make our work lives more difficult. And for people that experience gender bias, and even violence because of it, her lack of compassion is just heartbreaking.

22. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 7:49PM UTC

    You're discriminating against good workers and hiring woke lemmings. Good luck with that!

23. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 8:57PM UTC

    There it is!

24. AyianMay 22,2023 at 2:50AM UTC

    As a member of the public, if the OP didn't have pronouns and everyone else did, I would discriminate against them by avoiding all contact and possibly even ask someone (not them) why they don't have any pronouns listed. Any reason other than 'it's an old badge and we're getting the new one in next week' would just deepen my discrimination of them.

    The best talent at this time IS inclusive. As mentioned in other comments, HR sees higher retention rates across the board when pronouns are in use in an organization. It's about inclusivity and feeling personally seen, recognized, and respected. It's clear by your comment that you're not respectful and you don't know what makes someone a good employee in today's professional climate. Good luck with that!

25. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 9:55PM UTC

    Employers have the right to require things, even from volunteers. This isn’t a First Amendment issue. The government isn’t asking her to use pronouns.

26. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 12:28PM UTC

    I think you’ve probably read this about a half dozen times now, if not more, but you keep coming back with “yes, but…” This isn’t about you, it’s about making others feel safe and included, regardless of the surroundings.

27. Cyndi RosenblattMay 18,2023 at 9:52PM UTC

    I work in a highly multicultural environment and pronouns are HARD to navigate when all you have is an email and unfamiliar names, completely separate from any other reasons people or organizations prefer to see them specified. Listing pronouns in the signature line has helped us communicate much better and I appreciate the assist.

28. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 6:23PM UTC

    THIS I totally get, but all volunteering is in person, and as a middle aged woman, I take no offense to anyone assuming anything about me (benefits of aging). If there were issues with digital communication, I'd probably be more receptive to it, but my issue isn't so much that the organizing is doing it, it's that they are insisting we do it was well. I feel like it offers little to no value to the animals we are volunteering to support, which is why I view it as virtue signaling. I appreciate your feedback.

29. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 12:25PM UTC

    It’s not all about you…

30. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 1:17PM UTC

    I get your dilemma. Either way you are virtue signaling to someone. Interacting with people is messy, isn’t it?

31. AnonymousMay 18,2023 at 10:03PM UTC

    Im old school. I respect others but it doesnt matter to me at all.

32. Kristin BurnsMay 19,2023 at 1:01PM UTC

    Everyone has pronouns. By including ours, even if they seem obvious, we are helping make it easier for those with less obvious or non-binary pronouns to not be singled out. It's a form of solidarity and kindness for all our coworkers. It's not virtue signaling (although this phrase always seems like a strange thing to insult) but an outward form of what you say you support when it is important to other people.

33. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 1:33PM UTC

    My name and appearance make it evident that I am female, but my mannerisms and build often have me confused with male, and I get called "sir" more often than I like, so even for us "old school" who think it should be obvious, it sometimes isn't. Also, I am married to a transgender male (who has legally changed his name and completely passes as male), and he still gets called "ma'am" by people unaware of his transition. He usually prefers not to include pronouns in his signatures because he is and looks male.

    Using pronouns shows solidarity with those whose gender is not always evident or who prefer non-gendered pronouns. It is a sign of respect and inclusion beyond the transgender spectrum.

34. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 1:46PM UTC

    Well said and because of my name, I’m so often assumed to be male. It doesn’t bother me but having a trans child makes me aware of the sensitivity and how this support is so needed for that community. Thank you

35. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 1:44PM UTC

    Definitely comes off as offensive. If it’s not a big deal for you then why do you care. Might not be important to you, but it’s very important to some. Volunteering should be a safe place for those you are supposed to be helping - so help and just deal.

36. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 4:46PM UTC

    The point of those of us who are comfortable with our pronouns putting it in our signatures/bios/nametags, etc. is so that everyone who might not be knows that they can use the pronouns that they wish to use with no judgement.

37. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 6:30PM UTC

    I think I need some help identifying HOW it invites inclusion. I may need to have it explained to me, because I feel like behavior, not some arbitrary pronoun, is how I make someone feel included.

38. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 12:15PM UTC

    Think about it this way. Friends/family members often shave their heads when one of their loved ones loses their hair to cancer treatments. Why? So that one person doesn't feel singled out. It's the same with pronouns. Or describing what you look like to someone who might be sight-impaired. It's not about YOU. It's about making sure that anyone that does have to explain their pronouns doesn't feel othered because *everyone* is describing their pronouns.

39. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 3:39PM UTC

    I think you are right, you need help with this. What don’t you bring it up with HR at your regular job?

40. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 12:53AM UTC

    Not offensive at all. What someone wishes to be or be thought of is none of my business. I’m happy to call anyone whatever they want but I shouldn’t have to “come out” as cis if I don’t want to.

41. AyianMay 22,2023 at 2:43AM UTC

    A person does not 'come out' as cisgender. People are societally assumed to be cisgender until they ACTUALLY come out as something else. This is a really backward way of thinking.

42. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 6:32AM UTC

    It's inclusive language. It is not about what you find important.

43. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 12:23PM UTC

    I think it’s less about you and more about letting clients / customers know that they are an inclusive organization.

44. Dcre1977May 20,2023 at 12:32PM UTC

    I prefer people are clear about things, including ehat they want to be called.

    I get email from people I do not know from government agencies. If I am not familiar with the culture their name comes from, its great when they list their pronouns! Also some people have names that can go either way.

    Since you do not have a preference, leaving it blank could signal that. Or it could signal hostility to gender identity. I would say think about your audience.

45. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 12:41PM UTC

    It’s not offensive, it’s inclusive and good for them for making that step. Even if you don’t think pronouns are important for you I assume you choose something when identifying yourself? So why not just add that and show the support you say you have. Based on your comments I think you should reflect on what it means to be supportive and an ally and if you want to be that.

46. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 1:06PM UTC

    My pronouns are "thee and thy". Lol. But if you're a person who needs them then more power to you.

47. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 1:18PM UTC

    I’m a bit on the older side worker so felt very different for me to add this to my signature, but I work with younger generations which after some time and talking to many clients who my have different pronouns I now realize it’s about being inclusive, so do now add it to my signature since I realize it is not about me but about making others feel comfortable working with an organization that supports how all identify.

48. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 1:25PM UTC

    Took me a bit to figure it out, as well. I started working for a university three years ago, and everyone had their pronouns on their badges and e-mail. Not a policy, just something they did. For those of us in our 50s and 60s, the world has changed a lot. And, it takes some insight and introspection in a regular basis to remember how much much things will change! It’s good for your brain!

49. Julie McGovern, EdDMay 20,2023 at 7:56PM UTC

    I agree 100 percent. Words -- including pronouns -- matter. Refusing to include your pronouns while the organization works to be more inclusive makes a bigger statement about you than your pronouns do.

    60 and embracing change

    she|her

    Ms|Dr

50. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 1:20PM UTC

    Hello-

    Just as it is important for some to be specify their pronouns, it is just as important for us (me included) to not be indentified. Thank you

51. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 1:32PM UTC

    Then don’t do it. You should not be concerned with others think of you.

52. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 1:31PM UTC

    So, you have solved your dilemma. Your volunteer organization supports inclusion and you do not. Probably need to find yourself an organization with similar views.

53. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 1:33PM UTC

    Answer: My pronouns are whatever/whatever/whatever

    (Many do not understand that the specificity of pronouns is yet another language trap for being human....)

54. Brenda AlvaradoMay 20,2023 at 1:44PM UTC

    I love it!

55. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 1:50PM UTC

    Me and Mine? ?

56. GirlBossanova934974May 20,2023 at 1:52PM UTC

    Here's a better idea. Instead of specifying pronouns, why don't we concentrate on doing the jobs we have been assigned to be doing and do that job to the best of our abilities? in all of this constant virtue signaling, I see scant mention of the job. That is what we are there to do, paid or volunteer. As I go through my daily routines of paying various bills, getting the services and goods I am paying for, working with outside companies, I see a greater propensity of employees who could care less about what they are doing. It is all such a big inconvenience for them. The other day, I was at my bank trying to draw out a few hundred dollars. In 2 days, I had to go to 6 ATMs as the first five did not have any cash. And I could write several more pages after that. So please, let's get focused on what is important here. Feeling safe in my book is having a good well paying secure job or owning a business with the same qualities. Please don't forget that.

57. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 2:13PM UTC

    As an HR professional closing in on 15 years in the field, our organization (a fortune 50 company) has found that supporting inclusionary practices has resulted in us keeping good employees of all pronouns. It is important for work to be a safe, no judgement zone. Inclusionary practices mean that our workers are not worried about someone finding out. It’s all out there. Over the years, I’ve found that calling what people consider important, some version of virtue signaling causes good people to leave the organization. Quite frankly, and although you won’t hear us saying this out loud to the general population, older employees (like perhaps OP?) give us pause in hiring because of this exact issue. They are not going to fit with the up and coming generations, and we need you to fit. We’re already internally dealing with older workers that don’t feel the need to change. I’ve read through the comments to date on this post, and a few self-identified older workers have indicated that they’ve thought it through, and have embraced the changing workplace. I I look forward to hiring older workers like them! On your banking issue: sounds like an organization that doesn’t pay well, or maybe old school enough to lose good employees. It shows, people!

58. SARAH E HOUSEMay 20,2023 at 3:29PM UTC

    I am happy for you that feeling safe only requires employment and financial stability. Please remember that those two things do not, unfortunately, keep everyone safe. Trans and non-binary people face discrimination and violence simple for existing.

59. GirlBossanova934974May 20,2023 at 8:48PM UTC

    Lots of employees from all walks of life are losing their jobs these days........The ability to pay one's bills now is becoming of primary and secondary importance. Every day, one reads stories on LinkedIn from employees who lost their jobs are running out of unemployment benefits.

60. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 9:57PM UTC

    It sounds as though part of her volunteer gig is to embody inclusivity. Jobs require more than a task list.

61. Leader135412May 20,2023 at 1:54PM UTC

    Perhaps your first name and volunteer should be the only thing on everyone's name tag.

62. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 2:18PM UTC

    Sounds like the organization has made a different decision.

63. StellaMay 20,2023 at 2:01PM UTC

    I’ve been waiting for this comment to come up. As a matter fact, I was going to post something about pronouns but felt I would have to endure the backlash on my stance of the whole pronoun issue. Why do we once again have to add another label to us let’s all just focus on our job instead of the packaging. I spoke with a colleague (manager) asking how they feel about a candidate who has pronouns on their LinkedIn profile. He stated to me I would bypass that candidate, it tells me they are virtue signaling, and they are not interested in solving problems. Let’s get rid of the pronouns and focus on being a stellar employee.

64. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 2:28PM UTC

    Huh - and where I work in HR, we like to see pronouns. It means they can survive in our diverse workplace. I especially look for pronouns in older candidate profiles. I want to hire older workers, but if you can’t change, I’m not going to touch you! Looks like pronouns result in everyone ending up in the right place.

65. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 3:23PM UTC

    I applaud your hiring of older candidates!! However, pronouns are not for everyone.

    Is this not an act of discrimination of some sort?

66. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 4:17PM UTC

    They may not be for everyone, but they are an indication of adaptability and ability to read cultural queues. Second only to their specific expertise, exhibiting emotional intelligence is probably the most important soft skill a candidate can offer.

67. Paula Manczuk-HannayMay 21,2023 at 7:29PM UTC

    I’m not sure how this would be discriminatory. Employers can require things like information on badges and name tags.

68. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 4:01PM UTC

    Sounds like age discrimination to me, not diversity.

    A candidate’s choice of whether to use pronouns has no bearing on whether they can “survive” in your workplace.

69. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 4:16PM UTC

    Oh, please, if you read the comment, and you’ve ever hired anyone, you know what the commenter is saying. If this is an older worker, they are no longer the generation in the majority, things have changed, and most notably they have made it their purpose in life not to change or fit in. AND, they want everyone to know it! Who would want to hire that train wreck waiting to happen? If you choose to make yourself unhireable,, don’t blame others for noticing. And yes, a candidate’s willingness to use pronouns has become one of those things used to determine whether they can work with younger generations.

70. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 1:58AM UTC

    So let me get this straight, a younger persons pronouns have more value than an older employee’s work experience who wishes not to use pronouns. We are doomed!

71. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 2:09AM UTC

    Ya just check the sales of Bud light and Miller lite

72. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 2:38AM UTC

    That’s what you’ve taken away from this discussion?
    Your cognitive dissonance is to be admired. If you cannot get along with the team, I don’t want you. If you are going to make others on the team uncomfortable, I don’t want you. If we have to explain to you over and over again that it is not about you, and that identification of your pronouns is NOT an announcement about your sexual preferences, I don’t want you. You don’t understand organizational development, have very little emotional intelligence, and can’t use the internet to look things up for yourself. I don’t want you on my team.

    And, if I have any doubts about you fitting on the team, those gut feelings? Those, plus no pronouns would likely mean I wouldn’t even talk with you. The teams I hire for are high functioning, fairly diverse, and we pride ourselves on having low turnover - which is not easy right now. So, I take no chances with EQ. So, yeah - low EQ woman making a big deal out of stating she prefers “she” would not make the cut - she identifies as more work.

73. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 6:13PM UTC

    Sounds to me like you have talked yourself into thinking ageism is okay. Did you stop to think “old people” have the ability to work hard AND act professionally too? Wow.

74. AyianMay 22,2023 at 2:28AM UTC

    It sounds like you haven't worked in HR or a hiring role where understanding the psychology of the person being interviewed or considered for a position is actually important analysis.

75. AnonymousMay 28,2023 at 7:17PM UTC

    And, I wouldn't want anything to do with you. Ramming things down people's throats is not the way to go. Insisting people do something because it makes you comfortable before I am ready shows you are a bully.

76. AnonymousMay 22,2023 at 6:31PM UTC

    Pronouns are not “another label.” They already exist in our language. There is a not insignificant group of people for whom their likely assumed (by others) pronouns do not match how they identify. By offering the information on a name badge, it makes it easier to communicate with some in a way that makes them feel seen for who they are. How this is so offensive to you, and many others in this thread, baffles me. It’s not virtue signaling. It’s empathy.

77. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 2:07PM UTC

    I grew up with Mister, Mrs. Or Miss. if you have to explicitly tell people what you are then you’re doing a terrible job of marketing/selling/explaining yourself to the world. Simplify your life and just call people by the names! No pronouns on badges.

78. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 2:29PM UTC

    I’m sure many other things have changed since you were a child. It’s going to be ok. We can adapt and grow as a people.

79. Claudia AndersonMay 20,2023 at 2:39PM UTC

    Honorifics have gone the way of rotary dial telephones it seems. I note that the kids at my Grands high school simply use the last name, ie Carson rather than Mr. Carson. Using titles might solve some of the issues.

    I do recall my best friend in High School, whose name was not identifiable as a girl's name, got her college acceptance letter addressed to Mr. though.

80. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 11:02PM UTC

    For people who don't have a gender conforming name or identity pronouns are helpful to others. For the rest of us it's a non-issue and should not be a mandate. People get tired of being forced to do things. It's that simple.

81. StellaMay 20,2023 at 3:01PM UTC

    Well stated. It’s fashionable right now to list your pronouns. All nonsense.

82. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 6:32PM UTC

    Um, and when you differentiated between Mrs and Miss, didn't you rely on the person to tell you or to include it on forms they were filling out?

83. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 2:20PM UTC

    A person's pronouns is part of a person's identity, just like a name is.

    Same reason why you put your name on your badge so others can know what to refer to you by. We could just assume your name is Karen and just start calling you by that, but wouldn’t you rather be called by your actual name?

    It's important that like a person's name, we take the time to learn a person's pronouns rather than making assumptions about how to refer to them in conversation.

    It’s not virtue signaling, it’s common courtesy and consideration for others.

84. Claudia AndersonMay 20,2023 at 2:21PM UTC

    The logic behind having everyone state their pronouns is to avoid singling out anyone. I don't find that to be virtue signaling just being inclusive. If you really don't care one way or the other it would be a kindness to those who do care to just go along with it.

85. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 2:34PM UTC

    Try and be compassionate and accepting. It's really not such a big deal. Don't make it a thing.

    The world is changing. Be open to changing your attitude .

86. Marilyn M.May 20,2023 at 2:35PM UTC

    As a volunteer you’re representing the organization. If a request was sent to everyone, then there’s no reason for you to think that the words on the badge is a representation of you. All the best.

87. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 2:37PM UTC

    Your lack of compassion for people trying to assert their true identity despite outward appearance is breathtaking. Take some time to learn how it feels to walk in this world--especially now in the sUS as a nonbinary, gender queer or transgender person. Pronouns matter.

88. Nivedita AhujaMay 20,2023 at 3:31PM UTC

    You could ask them to put she/him/their on your badge. Representative of your thought process

89. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 3:35PM UTC

    In reality, people are looking to be treated like humans. Your cat or canary reference tells us a lot about you. As I’d end up spending a lot of my time trying to clean up after you, I wouldn’t want you in my organization.

90. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 11:27PM UTC

    My point was, call yourself what you will and I will call myself what I will. I am offended by a whole lot less than you and many others on here. I work with all sorts of people, and as long as everyone is professional and does their job all is good. Please don’t act like you know me, you obviously don’t, and please don’t act like you know how I act in my place of work. I am perfectly professional to everyone, I just don’t like being forced to comply with the most recent virtual signaling trend.

91. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 1:07AM UTC

    Nice that the real you can come out.

    Your point was made without empathy for people. Who are you signaling to?

92. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 6:26PM UTC

    I have zero idea what you are talking about and I suspect neither do you, except to try and marginalize my feelings. Do you not have empathy for me as well? Surely you can put yourself in both sides shoes? Do you understand my thoughts and feelings? I’m not signaling to anyone, simply sharing my thoughts. Who are YOU virtue signaling too with your comments?

93. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 1:25PM UTC

    Well, I like you!!
    I know I don't know you but I have no reason to *not *respect your opinion--

    And like you, I'm offended by a lot less! People can do whatever they want but as you say, it works both ways!!

    I work in a huge organization with many talented people in their roles. Black, white, purple with different backgrounds- they are all cool. We are respectful of each other and decent.

    We include everyone but respect of they have other things going on as well.

94. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 6:23PM UTC

    Thanks for the support and understanding where I’m coming from! I have no inherent bias to anyone, I work well with everyone. I also have my own thoughts and opinions. Just because I don’t want pronouns on my name tag doesn’t mean I don’t care about the welfare of a marginalized part of society. For all those who are so bent on forcing me to care, perhaps those people need to take a long look in the mirror and realize that they don’t get to only have it one way. They don’t get to make me care about those people without also understanding that I too have thoughts and feelings that are just as important as theirs are.

95. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 7:17PM UTC

    Amen to that!!!

    Well said-- totally understand exactly where you are coming from!

96. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 3:52PM UTC

    Agree with you 100%. Your attitude is not at all offensive. You’re entitled to your beliefs/preferences and shouldn’t be forced to choose pronouns for yourself based on whether someone else thinks you should.

97. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 6:31PM UTC

    No one is asking her to choose pronouns. They're asking to know what pronouns she uses. If she genuinely doesn't care, they can't put them all (she/he/they), but I have a feeling she knows what pronouns she is usually called.

98. Tatyana Skreka DavisMay 20,2023 at 3:58PM UTC

    I think you are missing the point. Using pronouns when you are cud men or a vid woman is NOT virtue signaling but a respectful concession for non-gender confirming folks. Basically, the majority is attempting to adapt a social habit to make the minority comfortable and welcome. If everyone introduces their pronouns 5then it is not out of sorts for people with different pronouns to introduce themselves. But if no one but only “the different” ones use pronouns as introduction, this feels weird, uncomfortable and ultimately socially unwelcome.

99. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 4:09PM UTC

    Where I work does this also. As I have worked in many places, in the country and out of it. I have been called many things, even by my own family here. I don't feel the need to wear buttons telling the world how to address me and when I let them know as I was hired on they were very understanding.

100. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 4:12PM UTC

     I agree with you, forcing people to identify their sexual preference is non of anyones business should you choose not to. Please push back on this and let them know it is not something you want to identify at all. Worst case let them know you are gender fulid and therefore cannot select. That should end it.

101. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 5:46PM UTC

     Clarifying terminology because it does matter. Gender identity (which the pronouns refer to) is not the same thing as sexual preference-- which is more about whom you are attracted to. Gender identity is if you identify as male, female, or neither or maybe even both (one of my friend's children sees herself as just "name" and prefers not to identify a gender-label at all. ) Sexual identity is if you are straight, gay, bi, or asexual for example. Fortunately, I've not seen a trend of putting that on nametags!

     There's a spectrum for all of it, so enforcing on nametags seems almost contradictory to the intent of letting people express their personal preferences, and I would image those who don't have strong desire to announce preference on a nametag or at a meeting should be free to make their own decisions.

     I agree with others, if you're bullied into it, find another volunteer opportunity.

102. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 6:29PM UTC

     If you're gender fluid, you still have pronouns that would be put on a badge. You know gender has nothing to do with who you sleep with, right?

103. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 7:05PM UTC

     Until very recently actions like this were considered to be sexual harassment and dealt with by HR, up to and including termination.

104. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 7:13PM UTC

     ? Please elaborate!

105. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 9:09PM UTC

     Do you really think people are advertising their sexual preferences by providing pronouns? A quick search would provide you with some facts.

106. Rebecca MillikenMay 20,2023 at 4:13PM UTC

     I think pronouns matter to some people a lot. I can understand your stance, but since it matters to others, I'd just go along and put the pronouns on. Your last sentence tells me that you don't want to offend, and some of the comments show that your attitude does rub some the wrong way.

     As a cis woman who is she/her, it's easy for me to take my pronouns for granted. But I do appreciate knowing what someone else prefers, as I've mis-gendered before and felt bad about it.

     Pronouns don't come into play when you're talking to a person directly, only when you're talking about them. Still, making someone feel seen is always important, so even if it doesn't seem relevant to you, it clearly is to a lot of people.

107. AyianMay 22,2023 at 2:24AM UTC

     I love your comment and your attitude. I think that pronouns do come into play when you're talking to someone though. If I identify as she/her, a compliment about how I look might sound like 'you look pretty today'. If I identify as he/him, that same compliment is more like 'you look handsome today'. If I identify as they/them, it's probably like 'you look great today!'

     English is not an inherently gendered language, but there is still a fair bit of gender signaling that occurs in conversation as well as the dynamic of an interaction. There are psychological components to consider and pronouns are a quick shorthand to convey those differences in expression and identity so that others know how to interact with you, not just how to refer to you to other people.

108. Rosa GoesMay 20,2023 at 4:58PM UTC

     If pronouns are not representative of who you are, then don't do it. If they insist, politely decline. Tell them it doesn't align with your values, beliefs, etc. If volunteering at that place becomes uncomfortable I recommend you leave and find another suitable volunteer opportunity. You are not a bad person for doing so.

109. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 5:15PM UTC

     I see both sides of this. From a volunteer perspective people don't know you and maybe they are looking at it from that angle. No one wants to ever offend anyone. Even when I am out in public I am so used to saying thank you sir, or thank yo you ma'am.. that now I just say thank you. I try to remember not to say he or she or sir or ma'am because what if they are not either. However, you have to feel completely comfortable with including that information on your badge and I feel it shoud be optional.

110. Debbie CreeMay 20,2023 at 6:18PM UTC

     Just as they respect others choosing to be represented by various pronouns, they should also respect that you choose not to have that on your badge. I also prefer not to add that to my profiles and signatures.

111. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 6:45PM UTC

     I would feel uncomfortable about this. My opinion, is that it belongs to the LGBTQ sector, and has nothing to do with me.

112. Julie McGovern, EdDMay 24,2023 at 1:55AM UTC

     Oh, please. This is for those "other" people? History is full of horrendous events that used language to persecute people different from those in charge. I remind you of this piece by Martin Niemoller:

     First they came for the Communists

     And I did not speak out

     Because I was not a Communist

     Then they came for the Socialists

     And I did not speak out

     Because I was not a Socialist

     Then they came for the trade unionists

     And I did not speak out

     Because I was not a trade unionist

     Then they came for the Jews

     And I did not speak out

     Because I was not a Jew

     Then they came for me

     And there was no one left

     To speak out for me.

     It's up to use to watch out for each other. It makes the world a better place.

113. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 9:46PM UTC

     Your comment about not supporting inclusion tells me more about you than I wanted, except that I don't want to know you.

114. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 11:23PM UTC

     And it’s pretty safe to say that I have zero desire to know you either. I’m sure I would be walking on eggshells wondering if I had accidentally offended you on a daily basis.

115. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 1:18PM UTC

     I agree about being afraid to inadvertently offend anyone.

     Work is hard enough for the tasks sometimes. Mix in someone's drama...

     I once worked with this girl that was HORRIBLE because I'm a single person and she thought all single people "should work at Walmart". She wanted my job and young enough to be my daughter. Had ZERO experience. Oh, she was single too.

     Retuned from a road trip and she told me I should have died because I wasn't what society wanted: to be married with 2.3 kids, a dog and a station wagon (I was a senior accountant raising two teenagers 13 years after I left my abuser)

     Each time I said something in the "incorrect wording" - even about the weather to someone else, she'll flash her Bible and tell me God is listening and to be careful. Management LOVED her.
     ---
     That's why I avoid relationships at work
     Yes, I'm friendly and decent and ok to chat and all- but I work my 40 and go home without the pronoun (I'm a she/her BTW)

116. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 12:01AM UTC

     Your values are no less important than ANYONE else’s. I do not offer pronouns. If I identified differently - then I’d do it for other people’s comfort perhaps. I think it’s a great way for those who identify differently than their appearances to explain to people what they prefer to be addressed as but not something to be forced on the masses who do not align

117. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 3:01AM UTC

     Yeah, because marking people who are “different” so that “the masses” are more comfortable has worked so well in the past.

118. AnonymousMay 22,2023 at 7:11PM UTC

     Then please answer why it’s so important for them to share their pronouns then? I am fine with people calling me by my first name, I don’t use pronouns. Why can we not just call people the name on their name tag and let’s be honest…. who really cares what they identify as since that is personal and really doesn’t belong as a topic to be discussed at the office? Most of us work with our colleagues and don’t really want to be involved in their personal lives. Business isn’t about their personal lives unless they care to share and we care to listen. If I want to keep it professional, that’s my choice. It’s called business for a reason.

119. AnonymousMay 23,2023 at 6:41PM UTC

     Everybody uses pronouns. Everybody. You used at least four different ones in your comment alone. It’s extremely difficult to have a conversation with someone, even a purely business one, without using pronouns. In a professional setting, don’t you want someone to feel comfortable by addressing them they way they ask?

120. AnonymousMay 28,2023 at 1:25AM UTC

     Years ago we took the time to get to know people so ultimately we knew the correct pronoun to address them. Now we live in a different world where we know no one and honestly don't even know if we are safe. We weren't ever supposed to change our gender. God made us man and women and all the rest is unthinkable and consequently it will cause problems in society. And, for your comfort we are all being asked to conform.

121. AnonymousMay 26,2023 at 12:49AM UTC

     Exactly! Difference between business and personal.

     IMO, social media has caused many people to be too open. Take advice from the military in the 90s: don't ask, don't tell.

     I work closely with people and we have the 9-5 friendly (casual) colleague relationship. Outside of "how was your weekend", people don't say much and I don't ask

122. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistMay 21,2023 at 12:13AM UTC

     Personally, I feel you're being a bit passive/aggressive in your post.

     First you say "This recent trend of people specifying their pronouns (She/her, He/him, They/them) is understandable and I totally embrace it for people to whom it is important."

     Then you say "I feel like this is basically just virtue signaling so they can feel good about themselves."

     I'm not exactly sure how you can "totally embrace" something and also feel like it's "basically just virtue signaling".

     Also, "so they can feel good about themselves". This is not done to make your organization "feel good about themselves". It's also not about you. It is to make your fellow volunteers feel seen, welcome and included.

     You've now shown how you feel about making your fellow volunteers feel seen, welcome and included.

123. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 5:29PM UTC

     You're way off base calling this person out for not wanting to make their pronouns known. You can support people and disagree without being what you claim in your ending statement there. She chooses not to be a sheep and can still support others without doing this herself. Respect peoples differences don't force everyone to think the same.

124. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 3:22AM UTC

     I'm like you: "to each his/her/their/(insert other pronoun) own.

     I do enjoy reading the other views on this topic. EVERYONE has a very valid point and I see all sides of this, One of those topics I honestly haven't given much thought on (not on lack of caring, I guess I'm kinda oblivious - but RESPECTFUL)

     Personally, I'm Stacey. I'm a female growing up in the 70/80/90s who loves math, puzzles and cruising.

     My point: like you, I'll respect others but it works both ways! People are getting too crazy IMO with this at work in regards to being pushy (can't think of another word). They can do whatever they (correct pronoun?) want but why must I engage in this? I'm Stacey T.

     That goes on the name tag. 100% female whom admittedly loves guy jeans and a silk shirt. (Athletic build and women's jeans, well....!! Lol. Not for me, but if others are keen, go for it!! Ditto with the identity)

     I think at work, be the name hired with: Jane Doe. When they/he/she goes home after hours,- do whatever! If Jane is John after hours, far from me to judge - we're all adults. But at work - free to be yourself but NOT push yourself on others.

     If this atmosphere is not a a good fit any longer, tell them goodbye. As a volunteer, organization would be dumb to let you go!!!!!

125. AyianMay 22,2023 at 2:17AM UTC

     This is some seriously toxic transphobic and anti-gender nonconforming content right here. Being who you are in public is not pushing yourself on others. It is no harm to you for people to express their gender in public, at work, while volunteering. We're all adults, true, so we're all capable of acting professionally regardless of a person's gender, perceived or actual.

126. Zeecil KimmelMay 21,2023 at 3:56AM UTC

     As someone who has a first name that is a little different and work in technology everyone assumes I am Mr/Sir. I merely correct them gently with a joke or a comment about being Ms. I would not put my gender in my signature line. I do not feel like I have to announce I am female to prove something to anyone.

127. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 1:01PM UTC

     Honestly, it doesn't feel like you totally embrace it. This is a critical step for so many people in affirming their identity. And it sounds like your values and the organization's values are not aligned. Perhaps it's best to find another volunteering role that's better suited and/or take a deeper dive as to why it's so important to people.

128. Gwendolyn FreeMay 21,2023 at 1:05PM UTC

     I don’t get why people use pronouns like this anyway! I certainly don’t understand why anyone would put it on a badge! Did they explain the reasoning for it? I think this is going too far! It is good that you spoke up and told them your decision about this!

129. AyianMay 22,2023 at 2:13AM UTC

     You don't understand why it's important for people to be spoken to how they want to be spoken to? Interesting. What if I decided to use a very common name to call you by that's not even a smidgen like your name? How long would it take for you to become insulted or annoyed by my very obvious, intentional misnaming of you? How many times should I wait for you to ask me to call you Gwendolyn or Gwen before I swap over or tell you that I don't believe in calling you either of those and will keep calling you whatever name I picked? I realize this is a preposterous, hyperbolic scenario, but it's equally preposterous to me that it's going too far to have pronouns next to your name. Why bother putting your name on the badge at all if it's okay to talk to people incorrectly and disrespectfully?

130. AnonymousMay 22,2023 at 7:03PM UTC

     Call her Gwendolyn or Gwen, whatever is chosen for the name badge, how hard is that? No pronouns needed!

131. AyianMay 22,2023 at 10:14PM UTC

     Just use people's pronouns when you refer to them and provide yours for your name badge. How hard is that? You completely missed the point of the thought exercise.

132. AnonymousMay 26,2023 at 6:49PM UTC

     Ayian, I’ve seen you commenting on here over and over telling people what they should do and how they aren’t inclusive if they aren’t doing it your way.

     I would like to know who made you the self appointed gender inclusive police here? Truth be told, there are a lot of those on this thread. It’s very obvious there is an age divide between the younger generation who expects everyone to bend to what they want and that only their POV is correct. As someone with a bit more experience in this world, im here to tell you that this is simply your opinion, everyone has one and it doesn’t necessarily mean yours is the best or only. For everyone on here shaking their proverbial finger at those who don’t want pronouns and thinking you are right and we are wrong, you really need to understand that that the 99.8% shouldn’t have to cater to the 0.01%. I have seen more discrimination on here about ageism and thinking it’s perfectly okay in the name of ‘ inclusion bias’ when there’s zero evidence anyone has done anything wrong. There are a whole lot more over 45’s out there than trans, yet the exclusionary bias for ageism is rampant and accepted.

     Perhaps everyone here getting up in arms over the people who don’t want pronouns on their name tag should take a long, hard look in their own mirror where inclusion comes in and realize inclusion is for everyone, not just one tiny category.

133. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 1:09PM UTC

     Well said! I agree - and love your cat/canary analogy.

134. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 2:36PM UTC

     I totally understand your point of view! My company does the same, asking all employees to use a preferred pronoun. I personally don’t like using one, I am me.

135. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 3:05PM UTC

     Not a dilemma. A personal bias.

136. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 7:29PM UTC

     Ask yourself this:

     Two firemen (or firewomen) and one isn't into the pronoun thing and the other is. Because she's not interested or doesn't care about pronouns/gender identity as a whole, and feels different from you, you exclude her for whatever reason.
     #1: proponent of pronouns on name tags
     #2: opponent- or better worded: not a priority in her life and doesn't really care one way or another to make it an issue
     She's an introvert who keeps her life personal

     Firewoman #2- the opponent - is called to your house at 3a to put out a raging fire and saves your family and your house as much as she/her can.

     How do you feel about her now???!!!

     If what other people do doesn't DIRECTLY affect you, LET IT GO!! Life is too short. Pick your battles.

     I'm a two time cancer survivor. Call me anything you want; I'm secure enough to know the truth and be happy about it

137. AnonymousMay 21,2023 at 9:51PM UTC

     Reading this post is heartbreaking with the lack of an inclusionary mindset. Always hope for compassion.

138. AnonymousMay 22,2023 at 6:50PM UTC

     I so agree, it's eye-opening. I'm in a mostly progressive industry so in kind of a bubble. But I did assume pronoun acceptance was higher and understanding why it's critically important for many, an accepted reality. Clearly, I was very wrong.

139. Donna WhiteMay 21,2023 at 11:50PM UTC

     I dont agree, Pronouns should not be added to the name badges. Name badges no longer include Mr.,Mrs, Ms, or Miss. And He/She should not be added neither. The way the World is now, only your first name and photo should be seen.

140. AyianMay 22,2023 at 2:37AM UTC

     The way the world is now has changed. Talk to people how they want to be talked to. If they look one way and want to be talked to another, talk to them the way they want to be talked to. It's not hard and it doesn't hurt, I promise.

141. AnonymousMay 22,2023 at 2:09PM UTC

     I don't think the issue is with people who look one way and want to be talked to another having their pronouns on their badges. That's a valid use case as it avoids confusion and is conducive to respectful relationships and OP seemed to understand and agree.

     The issue is for those who are traditionally male/female and present as male/female, for whom the issue of their own personal pronouns being non-existent, and how this can feel (per OP) like uncomfortable virtue-signaling. Does it matter if some don't want their pronouns on their badges as long as they use the correct pronouns for those that do?

142. AyianMay 22,2023 at 10:12PM UTC

     If people whose gender does not align with the way that others see them are the only ones with them on their badges, it highlights the difference and further others us. This is the opposite of being inclusive. The virtue signaling is, in fact, in the refusal to participate in harmless pronoun sharing.

143. AnonymousMay 30,2023 at 12:39AM UTC

     You are exhausting. Get off here and go somewhere else to continue your condescending self grandiose ranting on a subject that only 0.01% of the population cares about. You need a hobby.

144. AyianMay 22,2023 at 2:09AM UTC

     My pronouns are He/They. I appear very traditionally she/her and cringe every time I am referred to in the feminine. Your nonprofit organization is doing their best to make their interaction with the world as cringe-free as possible. Because I know that people do not necessarily identify or express their gender the way that they appear, I default to referring to people whose expression is unknown to me as they/their. In that situation, without your pronouns on your badge, I would default to referring to you as they/them until I asked - and then I would have to remember that very intentionally rather than assimilating it over time as I saw you and your badge together.

     Your attitude does come across as offensive to me. My interpretation of what you said is that you think that pronouns represent some people, but not you. In fact, pronouns are not representative of anyone and only tell a small part of the story - namely, 'this is how I want you to refer to me'. I use he/they, but I am omnigender, inclusive of female, nonbinary, and even agender (that is, lacking a gender altogether). I wish to be referred to in the masculine or neutral and notably NOT in the feminine. This is an intentional choice after decades of abuse and harassment. My pronouns are expressed to others as an extension of caring for my mental and emotional health as well as easing my interaction with others by helping them help me feel comfortable around them or by identifying toxic and dangerous individuals to avoid and remove from my life. I would go out of my way to work or interface with a nonprofit that made pronouns a visible part of their advocacy.

     It is also important to be aware that nonbinary and gender nonconforming individuals are much more likely to be in need of services that nonprofits provide. We are at risk of being kicked out as youth, not getting jobs or financially stable jobs, being denied housing, sexual assault and harassment, physical assault and murder, and more at a much higher rate than our cisgender peers. The average nonconforming individual is in poverty.

     I have but a few things for you to consider for yourself: What exactly is your problem with having your pronouns visible so that people know how to respectfully address you? Do you have some unresolved issues with the pronouns you have accepted thus far in life? Consider this an opportunity to stop and check in with yourself. Perhaps you dislike being feminized or some other integral part of publicly communicating your femininity. Only you know the answer here, but your reaction so far says a lot about you and none of it pleasant. If you were asking 'AITA' (am I the asshole...?), I would be telling you yes, but I would also offer to be a sounding board to help you work through it. If you didn't care, you wouldn't have put this complex issue up publicly.

145. AnonymousMay 24,2023 at 4:52PM UTC

     You have commented throughout this topic many many times and respectfully while this issue is important to you and you choose to label yourself others choose not to. This does not make them bad people nor does it mean they do not support you and what your choices are. Cramming your opinion down peoples throats will not get you the respect you seek but it will annoy those who quietly choose to not label themselves and do not have to tell you why either. Your last paragraph here is particularly disturbing because you suggest that there is something wrong with the person who chooses to remain ungendered in their posts and signature, and that is wrong. Stay in your own lane and don't push your opinion where it doesn't belong.

146. AnonymousMay 25,2023 at 5:36PM UTC

     I agree- suggesting this person has unresolved issues is offensive and isn’t going to change their mind. Saying you will be their sounding board after that comes across as patronizing.

147. AnonymousMay 28,2023 at 1:07AM UTC

     Well said.

148. AnonymousMay 22,2023 at 9:54AM UTC

     Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. The 0.01% of the population that this effects should not impose its ideas/beliefs on you. Seems very hypocritical for any of this to be forced or expected. This is also a very western cultural 'problem.' They majority of the world has no idea what this even is.

149. AnonymousMay 22,2023 at 11:45AM UTC

     I saw this at my job- unless everyone does it the few that do stick out. I know this is a huge issue for some- but not everyone has this as an issue. It’s unrealistic to expect everyone to be “offended “ that they do or don’t have pronouns on their email.

150. Kristin BurnsMay 22,2023 at 5:16PM UTC

     Not offended, unwelcome. It's easy enough for me to include so others don't stick out. I want to help my colleagues feel included and if I was volunteering with a group that supported LGBTQ+ members, it would be kind to add a little she/her to my name tag.

151. AnonymousMay 22,2023 at 1:47PM UTC

     If It's not a big deal to you and you support others to whom it is, why are you making it such a big deal? I'm questioning your sincerity with this post.

152. Victoria NoltenMay 22,2023 at 1:53PM UTC

     If you believe in inclusion for all then why would you object to something that costs you nothing and will make someone else’s life more comfortable?

     Sure it doesn’t matter to you to in your everyday life but empathy and compassion are never misplaced.

153. AnonymousMay 22,2023 at 2:42PM UTC

     Whether it's important to you personally isn't as important as the organization deciding it's important to them. Sometimes we do something because it's about others & not ourselves. You volunteer for others, not yourself, right?

154. E CMay 22,2023 at 2:58PM UTC

     An alternate POV for you. This does matter for you, because you want to work/volunteer in a respectful and inclusive setting. Doing this and embracing it sets the stage for others to do something similar for you when you need it.

155. AnonymousMay 22,2023 at 6:34PM UTC

     Anyone named "Chris," "Aaron/Erin," "Pat," or many other gender neutral names can tell a story of awkward encounters based on incorrect assumptions. Now imagine how much harder that experience is for LGBTQ people who also have to cope with discrimination and even hatred. This is a very simple act to create an inclusive workplace. If you have a problem with that, you are the problem.

156. AnonymousMay 28,2023 at 1:00AM UTC

     No problem with these names years ago and we didn't have the technology then. This whole thing is ridiculous. Time to get back to working folks. Didn't have time for this nonsense before because people were actually working for a living instead of worrying about their status and what they deserved.

157. AnonymousMay 23,2023 at 4:34AM UTC

     Wow, 146 comments on one question.I'm SURE I'll be hated for this: be yourself and let others do the same If you want the pronouns, use them; of not, don't. Be respectful of anyone regardless of their stance of inclusion.I don't think anyone here will refuse to open a door for someone with full arms.Life is short. Everyone has worries of various issues. Be a decent person. Some of these comments are hateful IMO. If you knew tomorrow was your last day on this earth, would it be a priority to be so raw on a topic that has MANY ACCEPTABLE answers??
     My name is a transgender name and until I'm met with, it's hard to know. The LAST thing I'll do is be rude about a simple error in judgement. In the grand scheme, a polite correction and life goes on.

158. AnonymousMay 23,2023 at 12:10PM UTC

     for me it’s more important that everyone gets paid fairly. Women have statistically not been perhaps the workforce could focus just as much on that as what pronouns we use and we could all get a fair salary

159. AnonymousMay 23,2023 at 5:06PM UTC

     Exactly!!!

160. AnonymousMay 23,2023 at 7:54AM UTC

     This is such BS! Where have we come as a society? It's all so silly.

     I/me

161. AnonymousMay 23,2023 at 5:06PM UTC

     I agree wholeheartedly with you

162. AnonymousMay 25,2023 at 7:02PM UTC

     “I/me” - yes, it’s all about you ?

163. EMILY KIKUE FRANKMay 23,2023 at 4:07PM UTC

     It's not about what's important to you; it's about creating welcoming spaces. It's essential for cis folks to embrace pronouns so that our trans colleagues and friends know they are welcome and supported. I introduce myself with mine, have it on my LinkedIn, and have added it to my CV. If you feel it's just virtue-signaling, you are telling anyone around you who is trans that you do not support them.

164. AnonymousMay 23,2023 at 8:23PM UTC

     Actually no, this should be about respecting EVERYONE's feelings, both trans and non-trans. There are quite a few people that don't wish to be called cis nor want to put pronouns on a nametag, because if we are going to be inclusive of everyone, then we should also be inclusive of non-trans folks and their desires to either be identified or not identified as well.

     Just because there are people who don't wish to be labeled as cis or put their pronouns on a nametag, DOES NOT mean they don't support a colleague who is trans. That is the biggest load of bunk that has somehow been circulated through this. They support them just fine, they just DO NOT want to be forced to do something that they don't want to do. It's as simple as that.

165. AnonymousMay 23,2023 at 8:33PM UTC

     AGREE 1000%

166. AnonymousMay 24,2023 at 7:44PM UTC

     Thank you! Somehow this perspective hasn't gotten lost.

167. AnonymousMay 24,2023 at 8:01PM UTC

     Marginalizing others is a pretty crummy "personal choice."

168. AnonymousMay 24,2023 at 8:04PM UTC

     So it's fine if I call you by a gender that isn't yours? Okay, Mr. Anoymous.

169. AnonymousMay 25,2023 at 8:38PM UTC

     Yes, it is and I'll simply correct you and move on to more important things in life.

170. AnonymousMay 25,2023 at 3:09AM UTC

     I second this. Well illustrated; I wholeheartedly agree 110%

171. AnonymousMay 25,2023 at 7:05PM UTC

     Y’all realize you have pronouns that you are referred to by already, right? It’s just a matter of giving you the opportunity to state them rather than have someone assume them.

     To put it another way, when you fill out a form and you put your name (what you’d like to be called) and then check a box for Ms, Mrs, Mr, etc (how you’d like to be addressed).

     Do you get upset when you have to do that?

172. AnonymousMay 25,2023 at 9:14PM UTC

     I preface this with "to each their own" but when applying for a job - you have talents a, b, c for the desired role Yes, you work at x organization and are friendly with everyone - from the deadline to making the last minute copies for a colleague for the PPT deck - or whatever and always the first to bring in donuts.

     What does your gender have to do with this on a cover letter or name tag?

     "I'm Jane Doe and applying for the accounting position. I have experience Blah blah blah... See my attached resume "

     I have interviewed people. Personally, if I see their gender outside of M/F or Mr, Ms, it's a turn off because I don't know what's next

     Call me old fashioned, but where does my sexuality/gender come into play? If you adequately represent yourself with the experience and are a decent person overall, I don't care if you are Cis, trans, gay, straight, bi, etc. I aslo am respectful of your heritage, skin color, disability - you name it.

     I feel that with social media, we are in the age of "tell all". Remember the old adage - less is more.

     Save it for your spouse, family BFF. Tell a colleague at lunch or coffee if you want.

     I'm not being cold, I'll give you the shirt off my back. I'm simply saying to pick your audience.

173. Joanna PoeMay 26,2023 at 3:37AM UTC

     The term "virtue signaling" is so loaded, but sometimes we do need to signal. Leadership is about (among other things) modeling behaviors, and your putting your pronouns out there is a signal to others that they are welcome to specify theirs without judgment and a sign to those who object that you are in solidarity or an ally.

174. AnonymousMay 27,2023 at 6:13PM UTC

     Just call everybody by their first names and stop the nonsense. You can be whatever you want to be on your own time. No business has the time or responsibility to track your ever changing behavior/moods/pronouns!

175. AnonymousMay 28,2023 at 6:31PM UTC

     Couldn't have said it better. 1000% agree !!

176. AnonymousJune 1,2023 at 1:11PM UTC

     Same here!!

177. Liz MilneMay 27,2023 at 9:13PM UTC

     It is a hard one:

     • there are people who hate the whole thing and start getting angry when they see people stating their pronouns;
     • there are those who assume you're not an ally if you don't have your pronouns visible,
     • and there are those who are gender dysphoric/ don't look like their gender (preferred or otherwise) and who would rather avoid having it all explicitly expressed (not to mention NBs who literally do not want to 'pick a side'!)

     I think people should be allowed to choose whether to display them or not, and show their allyship in other ways. Choosing not to display pronouns can give vulnerable people a shield, exactly as displaying them gives other, sometimes equally vulnerable people, visibility and acceptance, so it has to remain a personal choice without a mandate coming down from management on either side, imo.

178. Cindy GrossMay 30,2023 at 3:04AM UTC

     I choose kindness. My pronouns are she/her. Simple, easy, clear. Stating our pronouns helps folks with names like Chris and Pat (like my ex-husband). It helps folks across cultures - many white Americans don't know what gender is typically associated with many Indian names for example, and folks living in India may not be familiar with what gender is commonly associated with typical American names. Then there are men with names like Kim and Marion (like John Wayne) who are frequently addressed as women, with pronouns we know they use he/him. It's all a kindness. Be kind. #BefriendingDragons

179. AnonymousMay 31,2023 at 1:22AM UTC

     So you think it is kind to force people to do something they are not comfortable with.

180. Cindy GrossJune 1,2023 at 7:17PM UTC

     Pronouns exist. We all use them every day. Talk to the English language teachers and linguistics folks if you want pronouns to go away. The fact that I share my pronouns so you know to use "she" and not "he" with me is a kindness to both of us. Try referring to men as "she" and see how upset most of them get - pronouns do matter.