How to handle friendship with a supervisor opportunity.

Anonymous

October 26,2022 at 5:18PM UTC

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How to handle friendship with a supervisor opportunity.

A job recently opened up that I'm interested in, I put my resume in, got an interview and my coworker/friend did the same. It's a supervisor position of the team we both worked on. I spent time on the team before getting another opportunity where she's been with the team the whole time.

This could go either way, we're both qualified and while I wouldn't have any hard feelings if she got it, if I were the one to get it, I'd be her supervisor.

I get the feeling she might have a problem with this. She has expressed how much she REALLY wants this position and while I do as well, I see it much more as just an opportunity for growth, and if an opportunity for more growth arrives after, to move on to the next thing. If she gets it, I'll just keep my eye out for the next thing, no big deal to me. I still love my job I'm currently in.

And while we both need to interview and see what the outcome is, I've been thinking of all the options on how to handle which outcome. The one where I turn out to be her supervisor is something I've never encountered before. I've been turned down for jobs and a colleague has gotten it instead so I know how to navigate that, but this is a different beast.

Has anyone been in this situation and what became of it? Is there anything you'd do differently or have any advise to offer?

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AnonymousOctober 26,2022 at 6:53PM UTC
If you are friends, they should be cheering for you. Maybe have a conversation with this friend about how she would feel if you get the job? Does the idea of you being her superior make her feel uncomfortable? If so, would you rather back out than impact your friendship? I had a friend become my supervisor and he changed. He kept saying "oh, I can't talk to you about work anymore". He ended up stepping down.
Shelly EdwardsOctober 26,2022 at 6:55PM UTC
I have managed friends before and it's not easy, but it's feasible as long as both people act like professional adults and recognize that work is work and friends are separate. I feel like you should do your best in your interview process. Set aside your friendship with her and go for it. She should do the same. If you don't both set aside your relationship and go for the promotion in your best effort, you will certainly end up resenting the other. Never dull your shine for another. Let them shine all on their own.
AnonymousOctober 26,2022 at 7:40PM UTC
Unfortunately, not all friendships are meant to last. If you even suspect that she might be jealous or upset at your success by getting the role, was she truly a friend to begin with? Its okay to be friendly at work and professional at work. When push comes to shove, a work environment is still a competitive environment. And people often change and can become ruthless bc of it, especially when things don't work out their way or when someone gets a position that they believe they deserve. Some people are more covert about it than others. About 7 yrs ago, I was promoted after 2 yrs of being in a position that people were jealous and angry about bc they felt they deserve it since they were in that environment 10, 20yrs long compared to me. People really showed their claws who I would have never expected to let me know how much they felt I did not deserve the promotion. So with that said, focus on you and your progress. You are not getting paid to coddle your "bestie" when/if things don't go her way. At the end of the day if leadership decides that you are the chosen 1, be proud and stand firm in accepting the decision. If you lose the friendship, think of it as God's way of trimming the fat that hung around the hips too long and finally needed to go. Good Luck! Never turn down a blessing from God, especially if you prayed for it.