Is there anyone on here who is or has worked in a SUPER TOXIC environment & left before they had another job lined up b/c it was INSANELY STRESSFUL & PURE HELL???

26 Comments

1. Joanne ainsworthAugust 17,2025 at 12:18AM UTC

   I’d recommend you try to look for another role before you leave,

   if you’re Ferron unsupported then make sure you respond professionally advising of challenges and issues you are dealing with . If you know you’re leaving you can take the emotion out of the nitpicking and lack of support as you don’t plan on staying there.

   Leaving a job off of your accord complicates what benefits and support you’re entitled t to. Once you have decided you’re leaving then continue to do your best but don’t allow yourself to burn out. Take holiday and if necessary go sick but try and find a role first so you’re not left with money issues due to their incompetence. . Report your concerns to your manager and follow up in writing. Worst case you’ll be let go but then it’s out of your hands. Try to keep your head under the radar and focus on finding something else adsap. What they think of you will matter less once you know you’re leaving.

   Good luck and remember, everything you go through is a lesson.

   You’ already know your worth because you want to leave, but try to not let this impact your lively hood .

2. AnonymousAugust 17,2025 at 1:59AM UTC

   I have never left a steady job without accepting an offer for a new job. I am my sole support so I need to pay my bills and can't live with my mom.

   It sounds like you expect and require a lot of support and supervision from your manager and she's tired of it.

   I would consider slowing down so you don't make so many mistakes and trickle up to your supervisor and worse your director. I would guess you work in nonprofit and if so your funding rests on impeccable support for the population you serve. So mistakes are not acceptable. Sorry, I understand you are burned-out but the very purpose of your work is paramount. Using your workload as justification is not going to cut it.

   I would look for a job before deciding to give up your job may lead to welfare on top of affordable housing and food stamps. These should not be options but last resorts. That's just my opinion.

3. AnonymousAugust 17,2025 at 3:15AM UTC

   I'm sorry that your job is so stressful and rough. I understand that's a lot and it's hard to put up with day after day. However, I strongly believe you should wait until you get another job to leave that one.

   Being stressed at your job is not good, but your job pays you money that helps you to pay the bills. Being homeless would be horribly stressful any time, and if you live in the USA right now, the specter of being rounded up and potentially sent to a concentration camp for being homeless is terrifying. In other words, a bad job still beats no job.

   Try to get a job near where the affordable housing is located; that way, you could save up more money for more security in the future. In the meantime though, don't quit your job until you have another one. The job market is too difficult right now and there is way too much turmoil in the USA right now to take that kind of gamble.

   Prayers that you find a better job soon and get accepted for affordable housing. Try to do some nice things for yourself outside of work to reduce the stress.

4. AnonymousAugust 17,2025 at 1:34PM UTC

   It sounds to me as though you (and most likely your supervisor, too) were hired into/promoted to a role you’re not ready for. Companies often do this because they’re unwilling to pay the salary required by a person that has the experience necessary to do their role easily and effectively. It’s a sign of either a greedy company or a company that’s on its way to bankruptcy. Alternatively, the Director may just be poor at finding suitable employees, or (more positively) they might have seen a lot of potential in you, but failed to give you the training you needed to learn your role properly. You’ll have to figure out which thing it is for you. Juggling 100+ clients and keeping errors to a minimum does not seem unreasonable to me at all, but expecting this of a more junior level employee DOES sound completely unreasonable. If you’re the junior level employee forced to do middle management level tasks without adequate training and experience, I can see why you’re angry and frustrated.

   You have a few options. 1) you could quit, but your mother is right, even though you don’t want to hear it. The job market is brutal right now, even for highly experienced and credentialed people. It sounds like you’re young, based in the fact that you’re talking about what your mother thinks, so you may not realize how long having a self-created gap on your resume can follow you (many years if you switch jobs every few years, decades if you rarely switch). It’s just not worth missing out on an amazing job because you quit this job hastily and have to explain this to a potential employer. 2) Request a transfer to another post and do this at least until you can find another job. Ideally request a lower level job so you get rid of some of the responsibility. Tell them that it’s because you’re really interested in that department, and you think it would be a better fit. 3) Request a demotion (cite health reasons) until you can find another job if there are no transfer opportunities. It will get lower the stress and help you bide your time until you find another role. It would be a bit of humble pie, but may help you to cope until you can find a better company. 4) Stay in the job, keep your mouth shut, and work harder. Is it fair? No. But it might help you to retain your job until you find a better one. 5) Find another job before you quit. The issue with this is that you might get fired for poor performance before you find another job - as I said, the job market is brutal. However, if this happens, at least you should get unemployment (but check into your state’s unemployment rules before assuming this is available). 6) Consider retraining in another field, especially if you don’t have an undergrad degree yet (if you already have one, you’ll know that it’s much harder to get grants/loans for another degree) - maybe this isn’t the right career path for you (though only you know this). It may be the perfect job for you but the wrong company - only you know this for sure. 7) quit the job. Just be aware of the very many consequences this may have for you. It will not hurt your company if you quit, at least not in the long term. It will likely hurt you though. Look after yourself. None of these options are great, but you’ll have to see which one is the most palatable to you. Or maybe you can think of something else.

   I have to admit that I’m really confused as to why you’re trying to move out on your own when you’re not in a stable position. If your mother is willing to let you stay, putting yourself in a position where you’re responsible for rent every month (affordable or not), seems foolhardy.

   Finally, you are extremely angry and swearing/shouting a lot in a forum for professionals where people haven’t done anything to you. I get it - nobody knows who you are, so you can post with anonymity, and you’re extremely frustrated. But if you can’t hold it together here, the anger is going to shine when you start interviewing for other roles, and you are going to miss out on opportunities which might be perfect for you. Companies don’t want to hire angry people - it’s too much of a risk. I would strongly recommend getting some help with your anger for your own sake. I’m not saying it’s your fault; I’m just saying you need to deal with it before interviewing. If your company has an employee assistance program, give them a call - they have professionals not related to your company who can help you better cope with the difficulties at your job so that you’re able to find a better one.

   Good luck - it feels awful to be in a position like you’re in, but as they say, “this too shall pass”. Just choose the best path forward for yourself, and try to keep your eye on your future dreams.

5. AnonymousAugust 17,2025 at 3:35PM UTC

   I agree with you 1,000%. But to be fair, my Supervisor was at the company for almost 2 years when I got hired last year. I BEGGED & BEGGED this lunatic for training & she ignored me, made excuses, & if I asked to shadow her on phone calls with other clients, she would say "i don't feel comfortable with having you listen in on phone calls with me and clients"--in addition, when I asked her to join a call with only the 2nd client I had to conduct an interview for with a new program that I was being THROWN into that I had no idea how to manage, she said "i think you did perfect with the first client. Parking lot any questions you have." So from the beginning, she was very slack, unsupportive, and neglectful as a Supervisor. But yet im getting penalized for needing guidance and support??? UNBELIEVABLE.

   PLUS, i barely call my Supervisor about anything. Most of the time, Im trying my best to figure things out my own with the little bit of knowledge I have. At the same time, I refuse to be responsible for something going wrong because there could not be a TEAM EFFORT in handling complex issues with clients that I have no experience in dealing with.

   Honestly, my Supervisor is not a good person to work with and is a narcississt and extremely manipulative. She is a perfect example of someone who sets someone up to fail. She does not have my best interest at heart, and by her disappearing for multiple days at a time with no communication with me (and its only 2 of us) says alot about her as a so called Supervisor.

   To answer your questions about transferring to another department or position, that is not an option for me. This is a very small organization with less than 4 employees & we dont have other departments (not even HR). The job market is horrendous right now, but we dont have EAP and my mental health continues to decline. Not even a counselor can fix this mess with these two witches and their broomsticks.

   I try to apply, apply, apply as much as I can. I had 2 interviews for 2 different jobs and an assessment to complete and am waiting to hear back about everything. The next job that offers me something will be 1 I will be taking. I have had enough of this abuse.

6. Dr. Patty GrossAugust 17,2025 at 1:37PM UTC

   This all depends on how long you can manage to pay the rent and buy groceries without a paycheck. "About to get an offer ..." is not a guarantee, and jobs in the government sector are being slashed right and left right now. If you can survive at least six months (preferably a year) without a paycheck, you may want to take the risk. Several people on this board have been looking for more than two years. The other thing to consider is that there is no guarantee that a job with Affordable Housing will be any better than where you are. They all have the same labor, paperwork, compliance, and PTO issues, and will likely have a short onboarding process with inadequate training and minimal staff. Because of your experience, they will expect you to hit the ground running and complete all your tasks perfectly. It's part of any job.

7. AnonymousAugust 17,2025 at 2:01PM UTC

   From your post it sounds like you are in over your head and can't manage your time well. Your supervisor can't spend time watching after you. Your work is suffering because you are not up to the level of performance required for the job.

   I would look for a more junior position that doesn't require attention to detail.

   You don't receive praise because your performance is hurting your community. Some people are just not up to covering details and people who require assistance and guidance. These are people in need. They do not need attitude.

   I'm afraid you are the toxic element here because you are trying to perform at a level you are not capable of.

8. Focused541800August 17,2025 at 2:37PM UTC

   If you have vacation or sick use it. It will help you gain perspective and you might not get paid for it. The job market is not great.

9. AnonymousAugust 17,2025 at 3:02PM UTC

   Yes, 6 times in the last few years!

10. Terrika McCoyAugust 17,2025 at 3:21PM UTC

    Yes! I was getting to the point I wasn't able to use the restroom! I was lucky and they "asked" me to resign without the Union representative present which put a nice sized target on their back... and HR wanted more information... which I was happy to offer.

11. AnonymousAugust 17,2025 at 3:37PM UTC

    ??????

12. Lori CasoAugust 17,2025 at 3:31PM UTC

    I’m confused- what does affordable housing have to do with your job? You keep bringing it up in this discussion… if you quit your job now will you have enough income to pay the rent in the affordable housing unit? (1) Yes, you have some savings, then by all means turn in your notice. (2) No, you will need income for rent, then unfortunately you need to stay.

    No company likes a disgruntled employee. I would suggest an in-person meeting with your supervisor. During this meeting you should have examples where a lack of communication has hindered work progress- emotion should not play a part in this!

    I recognize that keeping emotion out of the equation is difficult but saying things like “no one else is doing their work” is NOT helpful to you. Phrasing things like “the work load is unmanageable “ is far more empowering. Take a deep breath before you start and Good luck !

13. AnonymousAugust 19,2025 at 4:43PM UTC

    I was wondering about how housing related too. It looks like OP may be trying to relocate?

14. AnonymousAugust 17,2025 at 4:53PM UTC

    You seem to be taking feedback way too personal. It seems like a communication barrier between you and your boss.

    you need to look for a new job before you leave.

    but you may end up in the same situation- it would be good for you to understand how they communicate and process information (well good no matter where you go)

    you also don’t know the questions your boss is getting about your mistakes - and they may very well be gathering info to advocate for you or to help find a solution behind the scenes.

    your post seems very victimized and not thinking whole picture.

15. AnonymousAugust 18,2025 at 6:01AM UTC

    Rude

16. AnonymousAugust 18,2025 at 1:42PM UTC

    Lack of communication is a problem i n all areas. Can you sit down with your supervisor and ask for help in developing a system to get this job done.

    Such as having several places for reminders for sending out the reminders you mentioned. On the calendar, written and on the computer.

    Can you have key dates posted somewhere to help you.

    Unfortunately asking for an apology is what it takes for people to feel comfortable working with an agency. You could say something like." I misunderstood what I needed to ask from you. I hope we can move forward and work toward your getting what you need from Name of your company. " Warmly, xxxx your name. I hope this helps I have been in this position and understand how stressful it can be.

17. AnonymousAugust 18,2025 at 9:22PM UTC

    You seem very toxic. I'm not sure your supervisor is in a position to help any more than providing direction and guidance on reminding you of your responsibilities to your community

18. AnonymousAugust 19,2025 at 1:05PM UTC

    I feel like this topic pops up on a somewhat frequent basis (not nearly as frequent as the spam on this forum) but I have. I was with one employer for just over a year, reached my breaking point, sent off one last email and peaced out. My boss was Satan himself and his assistant - his minion - was near as bad. The stress was affecting my health - losing weight not in a healthy way, constant headaches, combative in my sleep (when I did sleep) became very unpleasant to be around. This was 15+ years ago at or just near the start of the 'great recession' and finding a job took a few months. In today's world, seems like the job market is that much tougher. Would I do it again? Now that I've been around more (and work in HR), I might have taken a different path but ultimately I don't regret my decision.

19. AnonymousAugust 19,2025 at 1:14PM UTC

    I've already responded (specifically responding to the question in your header). But now I've read your actual post...and realize, there's a forum member I don't think we've seen much of these days (thanks to the constant stream of spam?) and the ONE difference I spot between your post and all of hers is I thought 'she' worked in a non-profit whereas you state corporate America (although a 3-person office in corporate America...I don't know about that). If you aren't one and the same, I'd be shocked...but if you are, I'd go back and review all of the well thought out responses from so many people on all of your previous posts.

20. AnonymousAugust 19,2025 at 1:50PM UTC

    I make this post with utmost sincerity and respect but it appears you’re in a role that you lack qualifications and/or experience to succeed.

21. AnonymousAugust 19,2025 at 4:42PM UTC

    Did you read through this line by line?

    It looks like poor management to me that would not set anyone up for success.

22. Changemaker828603August 19,2025 at 3:40PM UTC

    I did. It was easier to focus on my job search. But, I should have given myself a few weeks of "down time". I didn't realize how debilitating a toxic work environment is..

23. Cindy GloverAugust 19,2025 at 8:13PM UTC

    Yep - 100%

24. AnonymousAugust 20,2025 at 9:59AM UTC

    Go away Cindy. You seem like you are obsessed with OP.

25. AnonymousAugust 19,2025 at 8:42PM UTC

    A 6 page rant and you think your workplace is toxic? You have been posting about the same drama for over a year all the while threatening to quit.

    It's time to check yourself.

26. AnonymousAugust 19,2025 at 10:37PM UTC

    Suspect OP is young and very inexperienced both professionally and personally.