Advice For Dealing With Massive Fear of Failure At New Job

43 Comments

1. AnonymousMay 27,2022 at 1:37AM UTC

   Use google. Use you tube. By LinkedIn premium and take their online learning modules, which can also help show your peeps if linked to workers that you seek success and development. Also, almost all states let people with jobs take the same type of brief workshops on topics like this virtually through state workforce and unemployment departments. Again, you don’t have to be unemployed.

2. T SnapMay 27,2022 at 4:16AM UTC

   thank you, this is great advice! I definitely want to show them that I'm willing to learn and advance my skills.

3. LaurenMay 27,2022 at 3:32AM UTC

   First, congrats on your new job! Second, remember that they hired you for the job for a reason. They likely knew some of the responsibilities would be new to you in some way. I’m sure you were hired because they want to see you succeed so focus on thinking positivity and showing them you can learn and adapt quickly. If there are trainings your company offers or that you can do on your own to get up to speed and feel more confident take advantage of those.

   Last, you will not be the first person to start a job they felt anxious about and you wont be the last. Don’t let that overshadow your confidence and capabilities. Do what you need to do to shine every which could be doing simple things like repeating positive mantras (sometimes I have to tell myself I am a BADASS and I’ve got this!) or listening to to a motivational podcast or uplifting song.

   Wishing you all the best, always!

4. T SnapMay 27,2022 at 4:15AM UTC

   thank you so much for this, your encouragement is so helpful right now!

5. AnonymousMay 27,2022 at 6:32AM UTC

   Congrats on starting a new job! You got this! Something I done when I first start a new job and wasn’t sure if I was doing things right, I run the plan by my boss before I do it. Sometimes it could be I start doing something and not sure if I’m heading the right direction, I send them a quick email and ask if I’m going in the right direction.

   I also ask them to let me know if I’m going in the wrong direction. This also gave me the psychological safety to do how I think should go knowing someone will let me know if I’m doing things wrong.

   Good luck! Excited for you!

6. T SnapMay 27,2022 at 3:38PM UTC

   I love that idea of sending them a quick email to make sure I'm going in the right direction, thank you so much!

7. AnonymousMay 27,2022 at 6:43AM UTC

   First I learned to stay in the present. I no longer project my anxiety into future scenarios. I learned to only focus on what's in from of me. To bring my effort, skills and willingness to learn to what's in front of me today. I can do anything about the future but I can try to do my best today.

   You need help getting control over creating unknown fear and failure into the future. It hurts your efforts today. It paralyzes you today. So it can be a self fulfilled prophecy if you allow it.

   There are countless online talks and content describing exercises you can do to stay in the moment and not sabotaging yourself by concentrating on possible failure. You can break the cycle with hard work. If you can't do it yourself then look into therapy to get the structure and training you need.

8. T SnapMay 27,2022 at 3:37PM UTC

   thank you so much, I appreciate your thoughts! I really do need to work on managing my anxiety more and figuring out strategies to use.

9. AnonymousMay 27,2022 at 8:14AM UTC

   Thoughts are powerful. So if you don’t want your fears to manifest take proactive steps to challenge those thoughts. Stay in touch with the hiring mgr. ask them if you can shadow for a couple of weeks to get a head start. Learn your people and their strengths so you know who to go to for help. Start building a healthy rapport with your mgr now. Don’t wait until the start date. Ask your future boss for tips on what they did to help them excel when they started…. They are in leadership for a reason with. Get up every morning an exercise for an hr to expel that extra energy. You will be amazed by how much that reduces anxiety. Bottom line don’t sit there and let your thoughts cripple you. Get up and take proactive steps to set yourself on the trajectory of success. Pray pray pray for the outcome you want. And goodluck

10. T SnapMay 27,2022 at 3:35PM UTC

    You touched on something I've already been thinking about - more exercise! Thank you!!

11. Jennifer ChallengerMay 27,2022 at 12:49PM UTC

    Congrats on your new job.

    I note that you say you feel excited but terrified. Sometimes its difficult to tell the difference between the two. It's natural to have a little of both, but excitement and anticipation about a new challenge, is helpful and fear about "What if's" is not helpful.

    Consider noticing whether what you are feeling is really more about anticipation of the unknown, than actual fear of what might go wrong. Every one including your new boss, understands this is your first role and of course they will be expecting you to get a few things wrong to begin with. You are human and so are they. Imagining they will "hate me" is quite a harsh judgement of your new colleagues, perhaps if you can let go of that judgement about them and yourself, trust they will be kind and patient (which is most likely) it will eliviate some of your anxiety. Then your only job is to be kind to yourself and do your best. You were chosen for good reason!

12. T SnapMay 27,2022 at 3:34PM UTC

    This is so true, thank you for that insight.

13. AnonymousMay 27,2022 at 1:04PM UTC

    My suggestion is to prepare yourself mentally. I start a new job next week which will be my first people manager role . I have LinkedIn Learning and I watched videos to help prepare me for my first day. I'm sure there are You Tube equivalents. Start thinking about what you want to accomplish in the first 30 days. Start reading up on the things that you say are new to you. Sometimes being prepared can help ease the nervousness. Set up 1:1 with your new boss say every 2 weeks to check in. Make sure you are on track and get any questions that you need answered.

14. T SnapMay 27,2022 at 3:31PM UTC

    I love this, thank you so much! I think having a goal for the first 30 days would really help me feel a bit more grounded.

15. Elizabyth HarringtonMay 27,2022 at 1:11PM UTC

    Congratulations on the new job! And welcome to Imposter Syndrome. It's a very common fear among people who are being challenged outside of their comfort zones (especially women and people coming into new roles at new companies). My advice is to remember that you were hired because you have skills that your boss thinks will be an asset to the company. They have seen your resume and (presumably) interviewed you, and chose you for the position. It's common knowledge that everyone takes some time to ramp up, and mistakes are expected. Just go with the flow, ask lots of questions, and try not to let your fear self-sabotage you. In a few months time, you'll be looking back and wondering why on earth you were scared in the first place. :) Good Luck!

16. T SnapMay 27,2022 at 3:30PM UTC

    Thank you for the advice! :) I love that sentence "welcome to imposter syndrome" lol

17. Kimberley Ferretti HammettMay 27,2022 at 1:25PM UTC

    Lots of great advice in the comments here! One of my favorite activities I like to suggest to anyone dealing with imposter syndrome is to start a brag book! Grab a small notebook and fill it with experiences you're proud of.

    Even though the specific tasks and responsibilities might be new to you, chances are, the basic competencies are not. For example, if you're managing a team for the first time you may not have stories of managing others, but there's a good chance you've previously displayed interpersonal skills and handled difficult conversations even if it was with a family member and not at work. Another really big skill to think of is adaptability and nimble learning! Think back and write down experiences where you stepped into a situation you had never been before and you made things work, even if you didn't feel confident at the time.

    Write down a few experiences that you're proud of that you can think of off the top of your head then keep the book around and add to it as you remember others or have new ones in this role. Whenever you're feeling ill-prepared, pull out the book and read some of these as a reminder that you can do hard things because you HAVE done them plenty. It may have looked different, but you can certainly reapply the talents that helped you succeed in the past to these new situations.

    I hope that is helpful. Go rock this role!

18. T SnapMay 27,2022 at 3:28PM UTC

    Oh my gosh this is gold! Thank you!!!

19. Huong Nguyen-ValleMay 27,2022 at 3:54PM UTC

    *hugs* I get the same way even months into a new job! I try to slow down and talk to friends about it. For me, personally, I am getting help through therapy.

20. T SnapMay 28,2022 at 5:20PM UTC

    Yeah, therapy has been mentioned a few times, so I think I need to get more serious about that. Thank you! :)

21. Shelly RichMay 27,2022 at 5:35PM UTC

    I started a new position over the past two weeks as well and am also feeling a huge dose of imposter syndrome. While speaking with a former director of mine she told me she knows I will succeed in the role and that anytime I feel like I’m not good enough to call her and she will remind me.

    Hearing this from someone I respect so tremendously really helped to assuage my fears (not fully because hey you can’t change overnight) but it really helped to calm me down and shore up my confidence.

    Find someone you know and respect and talk to them about your qualms, they will help you get them in perspective and allow you to speak about the concern out loud (which helps) and ease your anxiety.

    Congratulations on your new role and remember you will learn and grow as you grow!!

22. T SnapMay 28,2022 at 5:20PM UTC

    That former director of yours sounds awesome! Thank you so much for your insights.

23. AnonymousMay 27,2022 at 6:26PM UTC

    I can absolutely relate. Every new job I start I experience massive Impostor Syndrome. This experience came to a head over 2 years ago when I started a "stretch" job that I might not have been quite ready for. In hindsight it was probably not a good fit, but I was so anxious, terrified of failure, and overworking that 4 months in my bosses told me I was "not thriving in the role." I resigned 2 weeks later after feeling a massive sense of failure that was impossible to overcome.

    This was a wake up call. I got myself a therapist to specifically focus on Impostor Syndrome and self sabotage. I was so embarrassed to have had this feedback in a professional setting I could not continue there.

    2 years later I am really feeling like therapy is helping my anxiety about work. For some, it's essential to get past crippling and overwhelming thoughts.

24. T SnapMay 28,2022 at 5:18PM UTC

    Wow, thank you so much for sharing your story, that was actually really helpful, thank you! It's comforting to know you're not the only one dealing with this type of thing.

25. AnonymousMay 29,2022 at 10:53PM UTC

    Therapy has helped me as well. I just started a new job and new I needed therapy to overcome the anxiety. She suggested writing the moment a negative thought comes in your mind and bringing them to therapy to discuss. Remember they chose you, but I can relate. The therapist mentioned low self esteem.

26. Barb HansenMay 27,2022 at 9:27PM UTC

    You applied to a job.

    You were selected to interview.

    You were chosen to interview with another person at the company (I'm assuming, you interviewed more than once)

    The smart people who interviewed you, chose you over all of the other applicants because they knew you could do the job.

    If you don't trust yourself (which you should), trust the people with more experience than you have who hired you.

    You'll do fine :)

27. T SnapMay 28,2022 at 5:17PM UTC

    Thank you!! :)

28. AnonymousMay 27,2022 at 11:28PM UTC

    Remember that you were hired for your ability to do the job - but not to be 100% on day one. You and your boss both know that there will be training and learning to do.

    The larger issues of anxiety and self-esteem may need to be discussed with a therapist. Lots of them do short-term therapy for transitional periods.

29. T SnapMay 28,2022 at 5:16PM UTC

    Thank you, I agree that looking for a therapist is something I need to do.

30. AnonymousMay 29,2022 at 3:40AM UTC

    I’ve found the app Bloom quite useful for the day-to-day normal anxiety.

31. Sabrina CortesMay 28,2022 at 2:13AM UTC

    I'm sorry that you have such anxiety and I've doubted myself when starting a new job, so I understand what you mean.

    I've always written down my positive qualities and the many skills that make me qualified for the job. You might even want to jot down some ideas for your new job so that you don't forget them.

    Like I always tell my daughter, you're stronger and smarter than you know.

    Sending you warm wishes and good vibes to you!

32. T SnapMay 28,2022 at 5:15PM UTC

    Thank you so much! :)

33. Sabrina CortesJune 1,2022 at 12:41AM UTC

    You're so welcome!

34. Daphne ValcinMay 28,2022 at 12:31PM UTC

    I am so sorry that you're experiencing anxiety. I've definitely been there. One of the things that has been helpful for me is to feel as prepared as possible to be as great as I can be and to establish a plan of action for my first few days at work. In terms of preparing, I would try to build networks with others who have done a similar role and if you already have people who do that work, do informational interviews with them to think about how you can be super successful in your role.

    When it comes to the plan associated with your first few days, consider creating a draft of a 30-60-90 day plan that you can use to guide you through what you feel can be most important for you to accomplish and to reflect on within your first days of work.

    Every situation is different, but these are some initial thoughts that come to mind.

35. T SnapMay 28,2022 at 5:15PM UTC

    The informational interviews is a great idea, thank you!

36. AnonymousMay 28,2022 at 1:00PM UTC

    Yes and I felt it even while applying. Just know anxieties have more to do with our past than our future, which we don’t even know yet. You’ve conquered challenges before and you’ll do it again. Don’t do it alone: reach out to colleagues, friends, relatives, etc. for advice and resources you can study and follow. Focus on action over feeling. The little anxiety left over will get you to the finish line and be an asset.

37. T SnapMay 28,2022 at 5:13PM UTC

    Love that, thank you!!!

38. AnonymousMay 29,2022 at 12:22AM UTC

    I'm with you! I understand as I'm starting a new job soon. Just breathe. You're going to learn so much and do great. Like someone here told me, check in with your supervisor to see how you're doing and what you can improve on, IF anything. It'll show initiative and that you want to learn and do more. You're going to do great!

39. T SnapMay 29,2022 at 5:14AM UTC

    thank you!!

40. AnonymousMay 29,2022 at 12:42PM UTC

    I had that at my previous job along with dealing a bully coworker.

    I was let go the other day and I feel relieved. Try not to let your anxiety take over you. Remember to take care of yourself first and foremost. Asks questions and ask for clarification at your new job if unsure. Good luck .

41. T SnapMay 29,2022 at 11:32PM UTC

    thank you! I'm sorry you went through that, but I'm glad you're feeling relieved.

42. Paula McLeod, Executive CoachMay 29,2022 at 8:02PM UTC

    You've read through the comments so you know that how you are feeling is pretty normal.

    My advice is 1) you have a conversation with your manager as soon as you are able in which you set the stage for the relationship. Make a list of questions and points you want to cover, including admitting you are nervous about starting out and how would the manager like to handle your questions? As they come up or bucketed together once a day or more? How does your manager like to be communicated with? email, slack, etc? How does your manager like to give feedback? (by asking this you are opening yourself up to feedback, which is good!). And any other questions you want to ask. This conversation then becomes the norm, and a few days in you can again ask about things you've noticed or questions about the company or how things get done. 2) Keep a journal. Write down the things you don't know (how to do something or what a term or acronym mean). Then you'll be organized when you find someone to ask. Don't be afraid that you look dumb. It's dumber to fake it! You will learn fast and be astonished in a few weeks how things that seemed hard and mysterious at first are second nature quickly. Remember that NEW things take a lot of effort. Brene Brown calls the experience the F***ing First Time (FFT). But the second and third time you do something it isn't as hard. 3) I've noticed that people of your generation (making a guess here) are less comfortable with not knowing. Maybe it's because the internet and YouTube videos. Not knowing is normal and you'll become aware of MORE things you don't know, not LESS. That's ok. Stay curious and open. You've got this! 4) Get a coach to talk you through your approach and to reflect back how well you are doing. I don't have any bandwidth for more clients but if you want me to put a query for a low-cost coach who needs coaching hours to complete their training, I could post for you. Paula@SuccessbyDesignCoaching.com

43. T SnapMay 29,2022 at 11:34PM UTC

    This was SO helpful, thank you so much for the in-depth feedback! I'm intrigued by the coaching idea, will definitely consider it, thank you!