Do I take a demotion or a possible PIP?

Anonymous

April 16,2023 at 12:41PM UTC

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Do I take a demotion or a possible PIP? I was placed on a newly formed team as a senior team member strait from my maternity leave. I was given a raise and a promotion. The teams deadlines are my responsibility, but no one reports to me.

recently my Senior manager gave me two options for my career, because I expressed I didn’t think I was the right person to lead this team because people are silent in meetings and do not want to follow my lead.

the two paths are a) stay in my current position and improve or I will be put on a PIP or b) demote myself and take a possible pay cut.

I have never been an under performer and I recently was so fet up with negative feedback that I asked to be demoted. I guess the demotion option really wasn’t available because it would have to be “approved”.

I’ve been trying to apply for new jobs, but my job is flooded with all of the people being laid off by the big tech companies.

I don’t know what I’m asking for here , maybe what would you have done in my situation?

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AnonymousApril 16,2023 at 12:54PM UTC
Grow. You have an opportunity to become more than you are at present. Grow.
AnonymousApril 18,2023 at 2:37PM UTC
Create a third option.
You are not obligated to choose either of those.
If you had the same setup with a more proactive team then maybe it's not you but the team. It feels like you are being blamed for a team that you don't have complete control over.
AnonymousApril 16,2023 at 1:50PM UTC
Do you think that if those people reported into you that you could coach them and work with them to be more active in meetings? If the reporting structure changed and these people reported into you, they might change their approach especially if you level set expectations that they are expected to participate in meetings. Be part of that solution by suggesting people report into you. My suggestion is to stay in your current position and accept all opportunities they present to you. It will challenge you and will allow you the opportunity to grow. If a PIP happens, then do your best to deliver against it. I have seen former employees survive a PIP. Another piece of advice - never ask to be demoted. You were valued enough for them to promote you and you accepted. Don't deflate the value you bring to an organization.
Erica MitchellApril 16,2023 at 2:05PM UTC
Work on your leadership skills. There are so many books and other resources out there to help you improve. I don't believe a demotion was necessarily needed.
AnonymousApril 16,2023 at 4:56PM UTC
My suggestion would be to conduct a self assessment or an after action review to discuss what went wrong, ie the missed deadlines and how to correct them to ask pointedly of the team where improvements can be made. Place an emphasis that while there’s no direct line of authority indirectly everyone workin on the project needs to work together. All this without strong-arming the situation or micromanaging people. Look through some resources that guide you in managing through the process. You can overcome the bs and illustrate your top-notch performance and skill-set. You will not accept their poor performance to further reflect badly on yourself with either a demotion or PIP. You’ll put together your own action plan and work toward turning things around not for them but for you. Bossiness is not intended :)
Nicola BanksApril 16,2023 at 10:48PM UTC
Speak with your Senior Manager about the issues, and ask for constructive ideas for how to lead the team.
It's quite challenging to lead a team without any of the people reporting to you!
Have a squiz at some of the feedback mechanisms discussed in Radically Candor - I think these will help.
AnonymousApril 17,2023 at 12:50PM UTC
I absolutely hate to depend on other people for part of my job, I fully understand how frustrating this must be . What about talking with the team and asking for suggestion on how you can all come together ? If that doesn't work , it sounds harsh but I would start emailing for updates and include their manager and yours, that way you can show your manager you can’t get answers , you have an email trail and their boss can see they don’t respond like I said that is harsh but honestly they are responsible adults working at a job they need to get their act together and get rid of the passive aggressive crap , I dot. Know if you can tell but I am losing patience with people LOL good luck ?!
AnonymousApril 17,2023 at 1:58PM UTC
Do you want this role and job? A lot of times someone going from an IC to a lead or manager is not a good fit. If you want to go back, I would do it quickly. That way when asked about the blip in your resume and experience, you can say you were given the opportunity to try out a new role and decided that your original specialty or role was a better fit for you and your career goals.
AnonymousApril 18,2023 at 12:31PM UTC
I had the same position on my last team. The people there were more proactive to contribute to the better of the team. It’s also been hard as we are a new team on a new product. I work as a product manager with management that is very micro managing.
AnonymousApril 18,2023 at 12:47PM UTC
I'm surprised that your Senior Manager has not given you options/ guidance/ recommended resources or 1:1 coaching from them to help you further develop your Management skills but instead offer you the PIP or demotion situation!
Putting myself in your shoes, I'd ask for Management resources/ training course/ mentorship to help you improve your skills being a Manager - at least you're proactively trying to prove that you're working towards self-improvement vs 'getting defeated' by them.
AnonymousApril 18,2023 at 12:52PM UTC
Great suggestions! Is it also worth having a quick time to connect with everyone on the team? If you have a project management system, familiarize yourself with their metrics and notes, then connect with each person for 15-30 minutes and offer your assistance. Let the team know you're here for them if they need anything, and also it helps build rapport and a connection.
AnonymousApril 18,2023 at 1:05PM UTC
Detox Get Focused and Find Your Positives! With so many people being laid off, a new baby and the pressures of life you sound over whelmed and wanting a job verses career. Re-Position Positive! Ask yourself how could I strive and thrive. Also make a call NoW to your health care provider you need to assess your mental health too. You sound over whelmed and doing less is your goal; not to direct others yet guide appears to be your new role. To demote self is never the option it speaks volumes and you must address this question within. Otherwise you may be the next to be laid-off or terminated. If having a job is the goal and not performing the task required then consider finding a job that requires less work than this job. Also reflect on what truly is important to you in this season!
AnonymousApril 18,2023 at 1:44PM UTC
(a) RE: "manager gave me two options for my career"
Your job is not your career. You job is just that YOUR JOB. Your career is an accumulation of your jobs.
(b) Do you feel your manager is correct in their assessment that you are not the right person for the job?
(c) Is it true "people are silent in meetings and do not want to follow my lead."?
Leading people, even in an unoffical capcity as you are doing, is not for everyone. There's nothing wrong with taking a step back so you are in a position that is much better suited to you. (Who care if the money is less, your happiness and having less stress should be your priority, not money.)
Kelleri RiegelApril 18,2023 at 2:42PM UTC
I agree on the pause and reflect responses. There's a lot of stress in your life right now and you need to identify what you're open to experiencing at this time in your life. I would encourage you, first and foremost, to try to drop any shame you may be feeling around this situation.
If you decide to stick it out, I have some advice. This problem sure is pretty familiar to me. :)
In product, the scenario where I am accountable for everyone, but no one reports to me is a constant opportunity for growth. So if you decide to stay in that job here are a few tips:
You can't MAKE people listen to you. You have to convince them that you are a person that they SHOULD listen to.
You have to earn their trust. Ask questions. Try to understand their communication style. Ask for their input. This takes time and effort. And you also can't emote your stress and frustration on those people because then you burn their trust.
It's a very important and very difficult to cultivate skill, but it is POSSIBLE to learn it.
You have to recognize that since you can't change other people, you can only alter your own behavior.
I recommend you take some time to research communication styles and identify what yours is.
Then spend some time one on one with the people around you and ask them how they prefer to communicate or how they prefer to be approached. Or schedule some time where you can all learn about these styles together.
If your company has a 360 review opportunity this may also be a good thing to ask for. They can be hard to process, but can do wonders in how you communicate with the world around you.
When someone doesn't do what you want them to, try to objectively get to the root of why.
If 1 or 2 people aren't responding to you the way you'd hoped, it may be a personal issue. If most or none of the people around you are responding the way you'd hoped, something in the process is broken.
AnonymousApril 18,2023 at 9:45PM UTC
I cannot fully agree with the assessment that having people fail to do as requested or required for their jobs is necessarily a process failure. It can be if you have a product or project manager with deliverables not getting completed due to the personnel managers not providing support. However, there can be additional root causes. I’ve seen where someone was over promoted into this kind of role fail because leadership loved this person, but those doing the actual work didn’t think that person had a clue what they were doing.
AnonymousApril 18,2023 at 5:59PM UTC
Stay in the role, if you can learn something new do that. When you come back from maternity leave often things were not as you left them so definitely plan for the possibility of them removing your role as you are no longer protected. I am not sure why the pip but you seem senior enough by your commentary to manage people. Sit each one down independently and then decide if/why/how to get them to follow your direction. Then you might have options.
Dusti AveryApril 19,2023 at 6:03PM UTC
I've been there. It's not easy taking on a new role plus leading others. It's hard work. I have stepped down before because I under estimated my abilities. Also, you are going through changes both at home and work and that's even harder. In the end, do what's right for you and your family first but make sure it's because it's the right thing to do, not you second guessing your skills. You got this.