How to support an employee who has come from a toxic work environment?

Anonymous

September 17,2021 at 5:24PM UTC

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How to support an employee who has come from a toxic work environment?

I work as a manager on a software team in IT, and work closely with our Project Management Office. Unfortunately, the director of this office is a bully - gaslighting and throwing her subordinates under the bus. Several have quit, and several other directors (and their employees) have slowly stopped trying to collaborate with her because of her behavior. I know from her experience that her employees spend many days crying in the bathroom.

One of her subordinates - an incredibly talented project manager and former analyst - applied for a position on my team and we have made her an offer. I am very excited about working with her, but I am already aware of the "baggage" she is bringing with her from this other team.

I have been in her situation before, but I do not want to make assumption about what she is feeling or thinking. What specific advice do you have for me as a manager to support her in her transition?

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Stephanie TrevinoSeptember 17,2021 at 5:51PM UTC
Explain what you've seen and your thoughts and give her the opportunity to share. Build trust that she can come to you with what she needs slowly.
Sarah MuddSeptember 17,2021 at 6:34PM UTC
I've been in that situation personally and even the healthiest of next jobs carries with it a bit of trepedation. I think you're wise to be sensitive to it. I would recommend letting her know that you've seen how the manager acts and ask if what specific things she needs from you to feel confident and trusted. Don't project your own feelings on to her, but do be open and transparent about communication and support.
Sarah MuddSeptember 17,2021 at 6:34PM UTC
I would also say, for me just having someone say "I see what was happening, it's not ok" is huge.
AnonymousSeptember 17,2021 at 7:16PM UTC
Speak with her to acknowledge her experience and skill and open the conversation up for her to express her feelings. End the meeting with setting expectations that this is a clean slate, that while her experience was one fraught with difficulty, you would like to treat this experience as new and full of opportunity. After you have cleared the air and set expectations, watch and listen closely to ensure no residual toxicity is spread to your team.
Communication and a certain amount of acknowledgment is usually all it takes for talented and bright people to put things behind them. These types of people are resilient and eager to get past bad experiences.
AnonymousSeptember 18,2021 at 12:30PM UTC
Personally, I would like to have someone set the stage to speak freely. Then have a chance to check in periodically so I’m not falling into old grooves. A sounding board.