My boss explained something today and followed it up by asking, “Does that make sense?” I’m irritated.

34 Comments

1. AnonymousApril 2,2024 at 12:09AM UTC

   He was making sure you didn't have questions.

   Maybe wording was off, but I don't think malice was involved.

2. AnonymousApril 2,2024 at 12:36AM UTC

   Did it make sense? I understand your irritation, but is he trying to push something off on someone else? Was he "mansplaining?" Is he asking you to cover for him? What went wrong, and what was he "really" asking? It's hard to answer with something this vague.

3. AnonymousApril 2,2024 at 12:46AM UTC

   Let it go.
   Not even worth thinking about.

4. AnonymousApril 2,2024 at 1:09AM UTC

   Oh I have two close colleagues that use that saying constantly. It's benign.....like saying "see what I mean?"

5. Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachApril 2,2024 at 1:48AM UTC

   I feel like people get into the habit of saying this and he's heard it from someone else. I wouldn't take it personally. It's annoying but .. more than likely nothing directed towards you

6. Barb HansenApril 2,2024 at 1:50AM UTC

   I don't see anything wrong with the simple phrase "Does that make sense?" , but you did so and you're feeling of irritation is valid. Perhaps his tone of voice was off.

   This is what I would do in this situation.

   I would give grace in this situation, as you said, perhaps your manager is stressed and that stress was leaking through.

   I would not forget about this incident. I would write myself a note (on a personal electronic device) with the date, and the details.

   If he says it again, I would do a gut check on how I feel and how he sounded.

   If a pattern appears, then I would have a conversation with my boss about how that phrase affects me (that's what I would do).

   Good luck and let's hope your boss didn't mean any offense :)

7. AnonymousApril 2,2024 at 5:44AM UTC

   I work in a volunteer organization where almost all of the instructors and coaches ask "Does that make sense?" after they explain something. I think it is just a way of making sure that they communicated their message properly. I have noticed that those whose native language is not English do use the phrase perhaps more than others, but I think overall it is just a way of indicating that they care that the audience (of one or more) has understood what they are trying to communicate.

8. AnonymousApril 2,2024 at 7:24AM UTC

   This is quite a common phrase. Was it his tone that made it irritating?

9. AnonymousApril 2,2024 at 12:24PM UTC

   It's a knowledge check. They wanted to make sure you understood, it was not a comment about your intelligence. You can choose to take it as a personal attack or not but I think you'd be wasting a lot of energy over nothing.

10. Jessica BurrellApril 2,2024 at 12:44PM UTC

    I say this phrase all the time when I'm training to give room for my trainee to ask any questions, and also to check myself and make sure I'm explaining everything clearly. Sometimes, we are so close to what we are training them on that what we are saying...doesn't make sense!

11. AnonymousApril 2,2024 at 12:49PM UTC

    Please help me understand why you are irritated by that.

12. Advocate for Fair TreatmentApril 2,2024 at 2:07PM UTC

    I had the same question. I ask that all the time to ensure that people feel they can speak up if it doesn’t make sense. I’d be keen to know if I should consider not asking - or asking in a different way.

13. CaitlinApril 2,2024 at 1:00PM UTC

    I use that all the time, especially if the person I'm talking to isn't giving confirming body language. You stated it's a critical issue that needs urgent repair... so it sounds like he's checking to make sure that you have what you need. I feel like this is a positive thing not a negative one. Two people might be stressed in this scenario.

14. Jill JohnsApril 2,2024 at 1:31PM UTC

    I personally use that phrase all the time, usually it is because I know the material or fix so well or the expected fix so well that I think I've explained it, but I may have left something out that is needed. It is another form of asking do you have questions. I know sometimes I go to in-depth with an answer so I fear maybe I've confused the situation.

    In many cases if I ask "are there any questions", I hear silence, or if face to face I don't even get a head nod or shake. If I follow up and ask "does it make sense" I get a response.

    I hate that you feel irritated but based on my experience and use of that exact wording especially in a critical/urgent situation I do not believe he meant any harm or was trying to talk down to you or anything. Give him grace, see if he constantly does it. If it still bothers you that chat with him but again, I don't think he meant any harm. I know I don't when I ask that question.

15. AnonymousApril 2,2024 at 2:19PM UTC

    It's a very very common phrase. Certainly not personal.

16. Pamela PattonApril 2,2024 at 2:46PM UTC

    I interpret that as "Did I explain that well?", not "Do you understand?".

17. AnonymousApril 2,2024 at 9:58PM UTC

    I am guilty of using that expression for this exact meaning. It really means when I say it, "This was a little complex/long-winded/I am not sure I am clear" and is always a reflection of my delivery, not the listener.

18. AnonymousApril 3,2024 at 1:43PM UTC

    Don't feel guilty, it's not a bad thing. I say this often because sometimes I feel like I've rambled too much in my explanation and I want to make sure I'm being clear. As you said, it's a reflection of our delivery.

19. AnonymousApril 2,2024 at 3:26PM UTC

    Managers often say "make's sense" at the end of explaining things, it can become a habit. I would not take offense. When I first entered into a corporate setting I heard this often and also asked, you're not alone in thinking it's odd.

20. AnonymousApril 2,2024 at 3:56PM UTC

    Not a boss, but I have a leadership position where I often have to explain how to do things properly to others. In my industry it’s can be crucial to a client’s health. Sometimes after a lengthy explanation, I’ll say “does that make sense” just in case it doesn’t. It’s more a concern that my verbiage is clear to them. I just want to make sure they are getting my point. It’s well received and I never mean it in a negative way but as an encouragement. I want to come across well purely to help rather than them not understand and have them do something wrong. I’m trying to avoid misinterpretation because it can be detrimental and I’m don’t want to be negligent.

    If you understand just respond yes and keep in consideration that not everyone receives information in the same way so even though you are capable of doing so, some coworkers have challenges.

21. AnonymousApril 2,2024 at 4:33PM UTC

    Not sure what you're upset about? If it's critical and complicated, it's probably also complicated to articulate and he wanted to make sure what he said was clear. We've all been there. Just tell him yes or no, and move on.

22. AnonymousApril 2,2024 at 6:34PM UTC

    Tell us what we're missing...your boss ask you to confirm that you understand the assignment, he wanted to make sure you were able to successfully execute and he was inviting questions...why on earth would this irritate you?
    Sounds like a productive work exchange to me.

    You had one of two answer to give: yes it makes sense and I'm clear on the assignment, or no, it doesn't make sense and I have some questions.

    How should he have handled this so it didn't irritate you? Something is missing from your narrative.

23. AnonymousApril 2,2024 at 9:09PM UTC

    I think you cut out on your posting where I didn't 'hear' parts. Snapshot, how is this a concern? Seems like a reasonable question. I have an idea of what is irritating though...

24. AnonymousApril 2,2024 at 11:28PM UTC

    In my last role, I directed a team and often ended the meeting with if there were any questions or does that make sense. It gave team members the opportunity to address anything they didn't understand or meet with me afterwards and I could go through issues in more detail. I don't think he meant anything by the question, just double checking that everyone is on the same page with his directions.

25. Gail Buckley CraneApril 3,2024 at 6:56PM UTC

    And did members of your team take the opportunity to ask questions in the general group or ask for clarification later?

26. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistApril 3,2024 at 12:07AM UTC

    I'm trying to understand here. What, specifically, about someone asking if they've communicated their thoughts clearly is irritating you?

    You yourself said it is a critical issue and urgent. Why wouldn't he want to make sure y'all were on the same page?

27. gailsnewglamlife@gmail.comApril 3,2024 at 2:11AM UTC

    You are absolutely correct.

    I would add maybe, with all due respect, you should should take a mind overview and be clear in making sure that what he expressed does make sense to you. As far as now what, give him input either way to show your support during this stressful time.

28. VictoriaPApril 3,2024 at 2:49PM UTC

    Yes! And it sounds much better than “do you understand?”

29. AnonymousApril 3,2024 at 12:59PM UTC

    i think you should only be irritated if this was said to YOU (and you only) in a condescending manner. You also stated that "he's stressed and this issue is critical". So give him the benefit of the doubt--hopefully he was just blowing steam and trying to give a crisp picture of exactly what's needed right now with this "critical issue".

30. AnonymousApril 3,2024 at 1:26PM UTC

    Sometimes when people explain things it sounds either more complicated in their own head or really simple. If someone asks if it makes sense, it is not to be offensive, it is make sure they said it correctly. After your bossed explained he could have said, if you have any questions let me know. I don't think this was meant to be critical of you, as stated he is under stress, so there could be a million things going on in his head and this is one thing he can take off of his plate.

31. AnonymousApril 3,2024 at 4:00PM UTC

    That's not a reflection on you or your intellect, they are checking that they said it right, that they communicated effectively with you.

    They are giving you an "in" to correct or give them, feedback.

32. AnonymousApril 4,2024 at 12:30PM UTC

    I completely agree and I think this response assumes positive intent. Unless there is a legitimate reason to believe the person has ill will- then it’s best to assume

    positive intent.

33. AnonymousApril 3,2024 at 10:37PM UTC

    I have had people say this to me MANY times. I think it shows little confidence on their end.

34. Cindy AllenApril 4,2024 at 1:05PM UTC

    I’ve seen this management trend. “Does this make sense?” is the new “Do you understand?”. It meant to be more open to feedback, and gentler for both participants. If whatever the conversation was about doesn’t make sense, then it’s meant to help ask questions without feeling like there is an intelligence issue. It’s also used when it’s not a straightforward fact based issue, or when you may not have all of the facts of the situation (like a decision made by an executive on information you aren’t privy to).