Resigning sometime this month and dreading it

Anonymous

April 11,2023 at 2:57AM UTC

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Resigning sometime this month and dreading it

In general, I've been very happy in my current job for the last 2.5 years. I'm treated well by management and overall, when I've needed something anything from more office supplies to training to additional support on big projects, I've got it. That said, I started job hunting earlier this year for various reasons-- a few difficult coworkers I think I'll be stuck with for the foreseeable future, unnecessary demands on our time (too many meetings that take up a few hours that could have been handled online within 10 minutes) and an unclear picture of what's next for me there. I was also passed up for a new role that was just created in my section would have led to bigger and better things. I accepted the loss and wasn't too upset because I'm doing ok there.

I had a great interview last week and was told to expect an offer by Friday. Other than the reasons to leave listed above, this new job will present some good growth opportunities and pay more. I do feel though that my resignation will not be taken very well and I'm concerned some key people may be upset and not agree to be references because this will come as a very big surprise to them. They've been terrific to work for and as I said, very supportive. This will truly be out of left field for them especially because I'm not a complainer and have stayed positive even when I wasn't 100% happy with a situation or outcome.

Any advice on how to handle this well? They even just agreed to send me to a few great industry conferences I was thriled to be invited to (at least they haven't paid for them yet).

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Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistApril 11,2023 at 3:57AM UTC
YOU SAID: "I do feel though that my resignation will not be taken very well and I'm concerned some key people may be upset and not agree to be references because this will come as a very big surprise to them."
So? That's their problem. Don't make it yours. What are they gonna do? Fire you?
The last three companies that I have worked at didn't even check references. If they want to be jerks about it, find other folks to be a reference if you need it. If they're as "terrific" as you say, they will be happy for you, will give you a glowing reference and will wish you well. Their true colors will show through when you resign.
What exactly are you dreading? That company could lay you off tomorrow and never give it a second thought. It is your responsibility to yourself to be proactive about your career path and you deserve to be happy.
If a company is surprised by people resigning in this day and age, they really really haven't been paying attention.
I promise you, neither your boss nor your team members have ever, WILL ever say "gee, I'd love to take this great new job, but I would feel so guilty leaving anonymous."
Never. Going. To. Happen.
They'll get over it. Trust me on that.
Do NOT let any of this bother you or give it one single second more of bandwidth in your brain. Forget about it - don't look back, use your energy to look forward to the exciting new opportunity you have in front of you.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR NEW ADVENTURE!!!!!!
Barb HansenApril 11,2023 at 5:44AM UTC
Well said!
Nancy RansomApril 11,2023 at 2:46PM UTC
Agree very well stated.
Megan LeasherApril 11,2023 at 11:54AM UTC
If they don't take the news well, that is on THEM, not you. You have to do what is best for you and it sounds like that is exactly what you are doing!
Zeecil KimmelApril 11,2023 at 12:28PM UTC
Good on you that they will be surprised at your leaving. Most of the time when people leave a job they were bleeding unhappiness and no one is too surprised. Give yourself 1000 points for staying professional and taking charge of your own career without whining. Congratulations on finding a new job so quickly - it shows all of your good behavior paid off.
AnonymousApril 11,2023 at 12:48PM UTC
Kudos on the new potential job. Remember it is not your new job until you have the written offer. That said, if you have other people you can use as references, do so. You really only need one from your current job. The new employer will call HR anyhow. You've done your job well; try not to stress about people's reactions in your departure. Who knows, they may be thrilled for your new opportunity (as they should be!). Continue to be professional and know that you may cross paths with any one of them in the field in the future. There's SO many past coworkers who know my prior colleagues.... no matter what branch of industry you're in, it's really a small world! Leave with a clear conscience knowing you did your best. Best of luck to you!
AnonymousApril 11,2023 at 2:32PM UTC
Thanks for everyone's feedback on this. I've left jobs before, of course, but under negative circumstances, such as a bully manager, bad fit, or layoff. Over the past few months, I've stayed positive and upbeat about projects and not let disappointments get me down and I'll talk about my future with them.
Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachApril 12,2023 at 1:26AM UTC
After you sign the contract for your new job, I would schedule some 1:1's with them and just let them know you've accepted a job elsewhere for the growth opportunities & its the right move for you to diversify you experience.
My guess is you are thinking too deep into it, they're familiar with people leaving and even though they will hate to lose you, they should wish you well when you exit professionally.
AnonymousApril 12,2023 at 12:34PM UTC
I don't think if your current employer is as good as you say they will be bitter you are moving on. Its the nature of the beast that people are free agents and if an employer is emotional about this and blocks you, they are leaving themselves open for claims against them. I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how happy people are for you and they wouldn't dream of stopping you.
AnonymousApril 12,2023 at 4:22PM UTC
It’s sad that too many managers don’t realize how unhappy their employees are until they “suddenly “ leave. You should move on and don’t bother with references from this company. They obviously don’t really know you anyway. If they ask you to do an e it interview you can elaborate on the issues that drove you to look for a new job. Good luck.
AnonymousApril 12,2023 at 5:59PM UTC
Yes, please tell them that you were recruited away to a place where there is new ground to cover and new challenges and that you want to explore that in your career. Tell them you are not running away from anything and that you appreciate the things you have learned and experienced in their team and are only too happy to spend the remainder of your time there to write up a list of what you did and to respectfully transition your work to anyone in the team that thy deem appropriate. If they do pay for the conference be sure to have them transition that ticket to the person who will take over your work. Do not share with anyone in the team and other reasons for leaving other than what I suggested scripted above, even if they are close friends. You can do that after you are well settled into your new role because if the new job does not work out you may need to reference them again. Also definitely do not want to burn that bridge. Be sure to let your manager know as well that if they want you to speak to any prospective new hires for your role you will do that during the remainder of your time there. Congrats on moving ahead in your career and for the positivity that you carry with you.
AnonymousApril 13,2023 at 4:42PM UTC
Was in a similar position last year. I think some people were surprised and some weren't. I expected some people to take it hard/personally but that didn't happen, or at least it wasn't expressed to me and I've kept in touch with my managers and former team members. AND most importantly, I LOVE my new job and I'm so glad I did it. Be positive and explain the move in a way that highlights the benefits to you - career growth, new challenges--vs the issues with the company -- and go out of your way to make the transition easy for your team. If they hold it against you, then all the more reason to leave. Congrats!
Kathy LeskiApril 13,2023 at 6:02PM UTC
I believe in two things. You do what's right for you! and you don't burn bridges! Think of the way a company would approach an employee that their job was being eliminated. It's not personal, it's business... Your current employer, although you've enjoyed your time there, another company is offering far more opportunity for growth. I would write up a short resignation letter, have it with you, give your notice 1:1 to your manager. Don't be surprised if she/he asks what they can do to keep you. Unless you're willing to stay for say more money, I would tell them it's more than just the money and graciously decline. Then, unless your manager asks you to hold off on announcing, have a conversation with those people you're close to and an email to the rest on your 2nd last day.