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Anonymous

October 4,2021 at 3:02AM UTC

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Hi! I am trying to help out a former colleague find a job even though I would not hire this person again. I hired them for a specific role and although they were very diligent and produced good work, they were very difficult to work with and not enjoyable to spend time with, especially when traveling. We work in a small industry and since we have both left our former company, this person hits me up regularly to ask for advice and ask me to introduce them to contacts at companies I worked for in the past. In a tough job market, I want to help, but the idea of introducing this person to my contacts makes me genuinely uncomfortable.

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AnonymousOctober 4,2021 at 3:48AM UTC
Why would you risk your professional reputation by vouching for this person and using your network?
Lily MundayOctober 4,2021 at 3:53AM UTC
This really is a tough decision but I can see that you will blow your good contacts with you get pushed into helping her again. I would suggest being vague about connections and every time she asks for advice say "I don't know, what do you think?" or something on those lines. She'll get the point soon. She is using you, even if it's not deliberately, the more she gets away with this the more she will do it.
AnonymousOctober 4,2021 at 10:14AM UTC
I agree with the other comments: she needs to do this herself and not be reliable on everyone else
AnonymousOctober 4,2021 at 12:48PM UTC
I agree with the others, don't risk your professional reputation for this person. I understand that you want to help, but don't help others at the risk of loosing credibility. If you must help - I would suggest organizations for her to join specific to your industry to help with networking. That way it is a bit broad and you are not directly linked to this person.
Alexis GladstoneOctober 4,2021 at 1:02PM UTC
I completely agree with the advice to not risk your professional reputation in helping them. I've had to make that decision several times over the years. I think it's fine to give some general advice if you feel compelled to do so.
AnonymousOctober 4,2021 at 11:58PM UTC
Yes, don't help someone at the risk of damaging yourself. AND perhaps a bit of feedback from you, someone who has worked with this person, could do more good to them than being vague. Next time it comes up, I would sit the person down and say: I understand that you have a lot of good qualities and do good work. But it's also true that ...XYZ (negative things). It might be that XYZ that's keeping you from finding your next job. I know this must be hard to hear and I debated telling you but ultimately I think it's important to help you get a job as opposed to helping you meet new contacts w/o knowing why you're not getting jobs. If you want more feedback, (examples) i can share those with you, but if you're not up for that, that's ok too. Just let me know.