Well, I don’t happen to agree with those who are chastising you about your decision.
After many decades of working, here’s my take. First, there are people in administration and supervising roles who are absolutely unfit for their role. So for those who presume that what happened to you is your fault, I can say that in MANY instances the work conflict you described may rest entirely with the nut that is not fit to evaluate and supervise staff. Next, it doesn’t sound like you were given any positive feedback so that you would feel you had a chance at survival in this position. It appears from what you said that you were criticized pretty harshly for your performance and not a lot of time if any was spent on giving you the feedback to actually help you improve your performance. If you felt you would be getting thet support you wouldn’t have reacted this way.
Lastly - you don’t need the approval of work critics to find your success in life. Please don’t let those who say you have burned a bridge or that you should have stayed and endured this situation ruin your future employment opportunities.
I am certain you already realize this was not a good fit for you.
There is always this idea that women are supposed to endure harsh circumstances and rise above it every day while you are being crushed emotionally and spiritually. Somehow this is supposed to make you the better person. I disagree with that. It doesn’t make you better to get up every day and go to a place where you are not welcome or appreciated or coached to do better. If the goal is to tell you how poor you are at your job DONT STAY. And if it means you walk out then that’s ok. Just don’t make this the go to for every conflict.
It doesn’t matter what your supervisors reaction was now does it? It is your reaction that matters more.
I urge you to evaluate what happened through a different lens.
what part of this whole job experience was in your control? What part was out of your control?
Let’s look at why we work anyway- we of course try to find something that captures our interest. But-
The main reason we work is for financial benefit. Don’t be fooled that we get up every day and go out there in the world because we just love what we do. That may be true that we love our choice of work. The first reason for employment is for monetary strength. Otherwise we would volunteer or do other things. So let’s be straight - we work for earnings. If you only need to take care of you, what job you apply for and accept looks different then if you have dependent children.
if you are financially responsible for children, you would stay and endure a higher level of daily humiliation because you have to have time to look for and successfully be hired in a place where you will be more valued.
So let’s look at what went wrong and how to move forward to get you back in the workforce quickly.
file for unemployment immediately. The company will fight it saying you left without notice. It doesn’t matter. In your EDD interview be honest about what happened. You were subjected to unduly harsh criticism without any positive support and had no choice but to leave. Your supervisor was not willing to help you succeed and gave you no other option. You left unwillingly. This could be considered a hostile work environment.
Next take a look back at this job and career path. If this is an area you have experience in and have invested in through education and training and a high interest in continuing - then concentrate on what you enjoy about this line of work. If you are looking for something else to do this will take time and training. If you can or wish to do that get busy. If this is your field look at the positives of this industry. Then look at the skills you do have and can bring to the next job. And more importantly think about what went sideways at this job you just left and ask yourself if there was any merit to the criticism - what was the substance of this? You did not specify so I can only surmise that the criticism felt personal to you. There are common issues with work that can be fixed with supportive people around you. If you struggle to be on time, to be present, to be engaged in the tasks, to complete projects, or whatever challenges you had - maybe there is some merit to the discussion. I don’t know if this is what happened. I’m talking about things I know are common in our work life. Do you have issues with the way things are managed? With promotions or assignments? These are legitimate concerns as well but can be handled perhaps better in future? Take time to figure out what was true and what wasn’t and be fair about it. If the issues of your work performance were about job knowledge, did you have the proper training and preparation needed? Were you given enough training and coaching? If you were given that and still were lacking in performance retraining voluntarily would be helpful. Refreshing skills is important. Rethinking how you deal with your workplace itself is important. Find a trusted friend to help you work through work issues for a more positive outcome.
Take a minute to get your head straight before you start a job search but absolutely do get one going.
find your great personal references. Get your letters of recommendation from positive managers. Gather your personal references who will say what is great about you. Start reading about potential employers. Apply carefully. But apply. Do your application and state if asked that you left your last position because you are seeking an opportunity to grow. Do not ever give in to the fact that you had a major disagreement with your supervisor and you walked out. As far as references go, you are legally entitled to protection from past supervisors saying negative things about you. I don’t know your company’s structure so I can’t tell you what they will do if they get a call verifying your employment. People say stupid mean things which can cost you a job. If you can get ahead of this one by ensuring the only contact is with the company HR department that would be best - they are supposed to verify dates of employment.
Now - I’m going to ask you to think about what just happened in a way that you can move forward. Please don’t walk out of another job like this - for your own sake. If you do this again you will not feel good about yourself which means you will suffer in the workplace for a very long time. Review what led up to this circumstance and what you could have done to avoid it. Maybe you should have started looking for a different job sooner and been able to transition out more gracefully. Was this the first time you had a difficult discussion with your supervisor? Are there personal issues going on that you can avoid in the future? I always advise not being too chummy with coworkers and supervisors. Find the right balance. What was said that you could work on? What was outlandish to you? Could you have transferred to a different division if you had realized what was coming sooner? For future employment possibilities - look at what you can do to move on with dignity and grace. Many times we clash with other people and their methods. Can you work on your reactions to that and learn how to navigate that better? Sometimes work is just what it is and we need to find better ways to survive.
if you see a pattern in your reactions to jobs - that you struggle with criticism and can’t tolerate it - sometimes it isn’t the delivery of the critique but the way we feel about ourselves that generates our response to it. If you want to validate that your supervisor just didn’t want you there anyway you are free to think that. It could very well be true. But if that is the case, you don’t need to carry that around.
My advice is to not let that person make you feel “less” than who you are . what just happened to you is unfortunate for sure. but it doesn’t have to define anything - except a mismatched supervisor relationship.
I have seen several instances where women have felt the supervisor was so abusive they had to quit - only to see that within a very short period of time the supervisor moved on to other jobs in other organizations. They allowed that person to push them out of a great job when had they been able to ignore the personality differences land be more patient they would have maintained their great career job that they had worked so hard for.
in other instances I have seen great supervisors leave to be replaced by sociopathic fools who were intent on making changes in the staffing by giving terrible evaluations to multiple employees with prior evaluations that were fantastic to compel them to resign. For absolutely no logical reason.
some things are out of our control. But if you can find the balance and move forward with dignity and learn something good from this, you can get past it and be successful .
just don’t get bogged down in the other person. Please stay positive and determined to find the job that matches your financial and career goals as well as your training and growth goals. No one goes to work knowing how to do everything perfectly. The key is finding a place that allows you to improve with dignity.
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