Please please I need advice!

Anonymous

July 7,2022 at 1:44AM UTC

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Please please I need advice!

I work for a general manager and his assistant gm both late thirties and are the most unethical people I have ever worked for. There's blatant favoritism, age discrimination, racial discrimination, and total disregard for policy and procedures. I am the HR Manager on this island fighting with my every being and the more I point out the illegal, unethical dealings the more I am attacked. I have no support and don't trust calling corporate. Like so many of the postings, I am looking and looking and looking for a job BUT Praying that I don't endure what I am dealing with now. I need someone that will appreciate my skills and talents that I bring to the table.

There's constant talk about I never see you in the same outfit , how many blazers do you have, I see you have on a new pair of shoes never seen them before. What is that you eating, we are suppose to be about wellness and you are eating that as the HR person ( this is all from the GM). I can go on and on and this is something I endure every day. I have new managers I am training and they are noticing things already. It's hard filling positions and they don't make it easy for me to keep them. I am not sure what to do. Working trying to keep everyone happy has been draining and challenging to say the least.

Any advice you have to help me change the negative to a positive please let me know.

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AnonymousJuly 7,2022 at 3:45AM UTC
Documents everything first abd foremost. But you know that ...you're HR.
To turn this into a positive, focus on your regular paycheck, you benefits. Takes walks at lunch and invite the GM or assistant GM.
Ask them their ideas about growing the business. Play along. Because if you have to stay, make the best of it. Make suggestions like, a office bulletin that highlights the achievements of your office. If corporate has a global newsletter or board try posting items that your office has made routine...like a safety tips page or share a safety moment.
If you truly way this to turn into a positive you’ll need to get proactive, creative and engaged. You need play along with the clowns.
AnonymousJuly 7,2022 at 9:31AM UTC
Thank you for responding, I am documenting, sad to say its every day. I appreciate your advice.
Kate Bishop, Career Confidence & Wellbeing Specialist, Coach & TrainerAugust 4,2022 at 3:46PM UTC
Wow- that is a very toxic environment and I am concerned that you don't trust in escalating these issues - why is this?
From bitter experience, it is very hard to turn such a negative way of working into a positive or even bearable one - my strongest recommendation is to focus your energies on getting your resume and LinkedIn in order and looking for a more fulfilling role which is more aligned to your values and ethics.
Joanne RosenAugust 4,2022 at 4:05PM UTC
The place is toxic. You need to get out. Or, you need to get others to lodge official complaints with HR (you) so that you can address it and, if necessary, send it up the food chain.
AnonymousAugust 4,2022 at 4:15PM UTC
I hope things have gotten better in the last month...I suspect they haven't so I have an idea for you.
Have you tried fighting back with sugary sweetness? Flip it on them. They comment on your shoes? Reply back and be like "oh my gosh I'm so glad you noticed them aren't they cute? They really tie together the outfit don't they?!" and then smile and compliment something about them. They comment on your blazer "oh this old thing, you've seen it thousands of times, but I was trying something new today thanks for noticing" :) Comment on your food (you probably can see where this is going) "It's so delicious I couldn't resist, I look at it as a treat for my soul. Wellness is all about staying happy and healthy in the mind, body, and soul after all."
The key is smiling and making them believe that their dig didn't effect you at all and in fact you took it as a compliment. Do they deserve responses, absolutely not, BUT if they think it's not effecting you they might stop...or double down.
If they double down you can either stay sweet or reply with snark. A well placed "you sure spend a lot of time remembering what I'm doing and wearing, just imagine how well the business would be doing if you spent that time working" should get them to realize that you will not be messed with. It will also probably make them hate you for at least a little bit if they didn't already.
Are they just doing this to you or are they doing it to multiple people? If it's just you, they are probably trying to get rid of you and make you quit. If it's other people, and you're seeing it, you might see if those people will report and include the information about your own harassment in the report. If people are leaving because of it, definitely include that in the exit interview reports to establish a pattern (you probably already are, but it's always good to know when someone else thinks you're doing the right thing).
If they are doing illegal and unethical things, you should consider reporting them to whatever government agency or agencies would want to know about it. I would report it to corporate first though. I know you don't trust them, but you don't want them to be able to say "we didn't know it was happening" and get off with a warning or a slap on the wrist.
Anyways, if you are still there, and this is still happening, I hope this helps a bit. Good luck :)
Jenny Cox, PHRAugust 4,2022 at 5:05PM UTC
As I see it, as an HR professional you have two options -
Option 1
Call them out and in often. If they comment on your clothes or shoes, let them know you'd rather they didn't and why you think it's inappropriate. Playing along or pretending it doesn't bother you only exacerbates the problem. And as an HR Manager you need to be an example to other employees that they can and should speak up. Then...Report it to your corporate office. You have an obligation as an HR Manager to report discriminatory practices and other violations. If you don't feel like you can report it to them or "trust" calling them, that is an enormous red flag. Also, if an employee files an official legal complaint about the discriminatory practices at this company, you could be personally accountable for not escalating your own concerns. (this could mean legal problems for you personally.) That old saying goes, "If you aren't part of the solution, then you are part of the problem." or something along those lines.
OR
Option 2
Get out. Run. Spend most of your mental energy on finding a new job. Although the grass isn't always greener, you can almost guarantee it will be better than where you are. Everyone is hiring right now....if things are really as bad as they sound you may even consider accepting a lesser role or a contract job in the short term.
JC LindquistAugust 4,2022 at 6:52PM UTC
I am so sorry you dealing with this terrible work environment. If you don't feel safe going to leadership about this individuals behavior, it seems there is a massive culture issue in the company. Don't give up on the job search!
Just for fun, start rotating the same outfits every week. I agree with the tactic to try and flip the script and respond with witty remarks.
And yes, document everything!