Hi all, I am looking for some advice on my work situation...

18 Comments

1. AnonymousFebruary 11,2023 at 4:09AM UTC

   I've been working on promotions for my staff and it is A LOT of work. If she's already overwhelmed, she may just not have the energy to do the work required to make it happen. You have three options. Wait for her to follow up with you (probably not going to see progress anytime soon), look for a new job (which you may like less since you say you really like your current job), or do some (maybe most) of the work yourself and present a draft to her of what you envision for your next step. Our HR website has job classifications posted with examples of the types of duties for each job title. Compare the next level up or another appropriate position to your current job description. Where are you working at the higher level or what duties can you add that match the job title you think you want instead?

   Write the new job description first, see if she agrees with your ideas. Once the job description is ready, write the justification for the reclass. Explain why the higher position is appropriate and how it better supports the company mission or goals, and what kind of salary increase you're requesting for it. Make sure your resume is updated. I have to send all three of those documents to HR after my director approves it all.

   Good luck, whatever route you decide to take.

2. AnonymousFebruary 11,2023 at 2:39PM UTC

   Look for a new job. Positive performance reviews and verbal "Attagirl" are all fine and good, but they are not helping you advance. I hate to say this, but your manager is stringing you along for reasons, one of which I think is that if you advance she and/or the firm you're with now has to hire and train someone all over again. In other words, they're happy with you right where you are, and think you won't find another opportunity. Don't let your manager keep "tabling" the conversation- it's NEVER going to happen. You could try to force her to have it, i.e. in your next performance review, but if you do that be very careful. Expressing any unhappiness about where your career seems to be (not) going usually puts management on high alert that you might be planning to job shop or leave, making you vulnerable to layoffs, firing if they think "your commitment to the job isn't there". It's an unfair Catch-22 but this seems to be the reality of corporate life.

3. AnonymousFebruary 11,2023 at 3:32PM UTC

   I’ve seen this in my career. It could be going a couple of ways. This is likely TL;DR, but it may have an insight for you.

   Do you have a specialization that is particularly niche or hard to replace? In those cases, with this demonstrated behavior, I can just about guarantee your direct manager is leading you on and has no intention of allowing you to grow and move into another role. Letting you move on from that role and losing your expertise would be too impactful to the organization, and your manager is acting in her own best interests and not yours. This is the hardest situation from which to extricate yourself.

   If you are not so highly niche or specialized, then it could be a few other factors. Firstly, you could just have a terrible manager who has no interest in developing her people. You mentioned you had been client facing and then went into a back office execution support function. You may be so good at the execution support, your manager has no interest in letting you move. That’s against her direct best interests. When you were client facing, how successful were you with the client management aspects of the job? If you were developed into the next role, would you be competing with your boss in any way? She may see you as a threat.

   This is truly an awful reflection on your boss since part of her job as a leader is to develop her staff to have larger more visible or more senior roles. If she’s a great execution leader and delivers in other measures, the organization will likely forgive that at the cost of your development until turnover in her teams is untenable.

   Here’s a couple of strategies you could use to deal with this. I would go to market to see what jobs would be a good fit. It’s not that you are really planning to make a change at this point, but you need to know your options. I was stuck once in the first scenario, and this was my step one. I reached out to contacts I had at consulting firms and competitors and had several options ready. I then worked with my stakeholders outside of my department to find an advocate to go around my boss. I found one with really good influence with her management and good influence further up my management chain. I worked with her closely, and I told her I was unhappy with my situation and was seriously considering a change. She would not be road blocked with the direct manager like I was. Lastly, I updated my own official HR development plan. These were reviewed by management at least annually and most years semiannually. I documented that I had been in my role for far more than the 5 years expected and had gained and learned everything that role could offer. I stated my major deliverables for multi years were fully complete and that I expected the opportunity to move on at that point. I specifically clearly communicated that I had kept my end of our agreement to my commitment not to pursue another opportunity within our company until my full delivery was complete and that my manager or management had not lived up to their part. It took about nine months start to end with me being my noisiest the last three for something to finally be done.

   Hang in there and good luck!

4. AnonymousFebruary 11,2023 at 5:47PM UTC

   Reasonably long story, but relevant:

   It was like this at my very first job. I saw the writing on the wall and decided to leave when they were reluctant to let me have a week's vacation in case an "emergency" that only I could handle came up. Begrudgingly, I gave them the phone number of where I would stay with family (this was before everyone had cell phones). Shortly after I returned from vacation, I started looking and found another job fairly quickly at a pretty good bump in salary. When I gave my boss notice, I told him I was leaving because if I had stayed another ten years, I would still be doing the same thing, and I needed to learn and grow. He said, "I hope they gave you a lot of money."

   Before my last day, one of the regular "emergencies" came up, and I went into his office, where he was working hard on the problem, and asked him if I could help (one of our application systems had frozen). I sat down, typed in a couple of commands, and everything started running again. He handed me a pad of paper and told me to write down any number that would make me stay, and he would see what he could do. I told him that money wasn't why I was leaving. I declined to put down ANY number.

   I walked down to the director's office, explained the conversation, and told him that I didn't think my boss understood why I was leaving. I told him the same thing: If I stay ten more years, I'd probably be doing the same thing I'm doing today." The director looked at me and said, "you're probably right."

   Needless to say, once I left, I never looked back. There are plenty of companies out there that would be willing to help you grow. If you look for one with a tuition reimbursement plan as part of their benefits, it says they value continuing growth of their employees. Your company (or at least your boss) does not. It's time to find one that does.

5. AnonymousFebruary 11,2023 at 7:50PM UTC

   ... and there are lots of people who are happy to do the same thing every day for 20+ years. It's not a good fit if you're not that kind of person and the position is that kind of job.

6. AnonymousFebruary 11,2023 at 7:47PM UTC

   Yes, it's futile.

   Organizations function best when 90% of the entry-level people are happy to be where they are. Only so many people can fit into the funnel. This isn't elementary school, where everyone expects to "graduate" from one level to the next to the next. 1 of 100 get to the top. 4 of 100 get to the next level. Maybe 20 of 100 get to middle management, and that's over the timespan of 20 years or more. Working 5 years at one level is not at all unusual.

   You may have to jump ship to get more money, or find a volunteer job or educational opportunity to learn new skills to be more marketable internally.

   Keep in mind that "higher" level jobs are people jobs, because most of your increase in salary is justified not by individual contributions but by managing others who make individual contributions. Sadly, many people get promoted into supervisory jobs for the wrong reasons. Look at the job you want to get more closely. If it's a supervisory job, you need to demonstrate people skills.

7. AnonymousFebruary 12,2023 at 1:01AM UTC

   I appreciate this. It sounds harsh but I can’t tell you how many people I have worked with or managed who think that they should automatically get a new title and raise just because they’ve been at a an organization for a certain number of years. You are correct higher level roles are people management roles and often given to people who are willing to stretch outside their comfort zone and to lead teams through really challenging times. Many junior staff I have worked with often scoff at the type of work that senior leaders have to do like fundraising, business development, persuasive push back on multiple stakeholders, keeping people accountable and managing conflict. They have actually expressed distaste at having to do these things. Yet they want that managerial title and salary. I’ve had conversations with junior staff who are looking to advance and get promoted I’ve asked “Are you willing to supervise and manage people”. “ Are you willing to engage with the business development side? Are u willing to have those difficult conversations and constantly “ manage up” when trying to get things done? They always look surprised when they have to view their ambitions through this lens

8. KatFebruary 12,2023 at 5:00PM UTC

   Three years of no growth and no support for your advancement should tell you everything you need to know. Stop wasting your time in this job and this manager. She's just stringing you along so she doesn't have to hire someone new when you leave. Either switch to a different role in this company with a manager that wants to see you develop your career or start looking outside the company. You might be surprised by the other options available once you start seriously looking for them.

9. GirlBossanova934974February 14,2023 at 1:32PM UTC

   Hate to sound crass here but this one is pretty darn clear! Your boss is making out very well with this arrangement and you're not! She no doubt gets a good raise every year based upon your performance. And you are getting what? Vague promises that never get kept while your manager gets another raise etc etc. I have seen this little "arrangement" go on at a few companies over the few decades I have worked. The subordinate eventually figures it out and MOVES ON to ANOTHER COMPANY! This subordinate usually does VERY WELL and the old boss is left with a replacement who is a OK performer at best. A good boss knows their value! They can train the next star employee because they have a system. They have people lined up to work for them. They are not taking advantage of people and making promises that they have ZERO intention of keeping. Good Luck!

10. AnonymousFebruary 15,2023 at 7:24PM UTC

    This is a hard lesson learned but critical in all aspects of life. Understanding when to walk away from a situation is one of the most important lessons you can learn at this time.

11. AyianFebruary 14,2023 at 2:05PM UTC

    Work culture in North America has been this way for 40 years or more. If you want a promotion or raise it is infinitely easier to do so at a new organization than to stay where you are. Therefore, spend a few years moving up in skill, experience, and salary to get where you want to be. Never expect management to want you to level up or assist you in any way. It's cheaper for them to treat the new hire like they've treated you than to keep giving performance raises and internal promotions.

12. AnonymousFebruary 14,2023 at 2:29PM UTC

    It is up to you to find those growth opportunities, not your manager! Only YOU can control your career path and only Y-O-U have the power to change your situation for the better! Stop depending on or expecting others to help you to elevate your career because, as you have already noticed, your manager is putting her own interest ahead of yours....as you should be doing! You are very capable of carving your own path and you stop sitting on the side lines waiting for the coach to put you in the game! YOU GOT THIS!

13. AnonymousFebruary 14,2023 at 3:30PM UTC

    Mentoring is highly encouraged at the company I work for. Is there anyone in the area you would like to be promoted to that you could ask to be your mentor? Gain some great insights and expand your network over coffee.

14. sjones9392February 14,2023 at 5:05PM UTC

    Time to job hunt! She's keeping you down intentionally because she needs someone in this role. You can likely get a higher title and higher pay with some calculated job hunting. Resume needs to be polished and sent out. From experience, you aren't going anywhere at this company if you've let this go on for 3 years.

15. sjones9392February 14,2023 at 5:06PM UTC

    Adding I left a role with a manager like this and doubled my salary and am now management level. People don't have your best interest at heart- only you do. Get out there!

16. Kimberly GrahamFebruary 14,2023 at 5:19PM UTC

    Are there others withing your organization that you can reach out to for a mentoring relationship?

17. AnonymousFebruary 14,2023 at 6:17PM UTC

    Have you decided what you want to be in the next rung of your career ladder? If you have speak to your internal HR resource and have them help you plan a training program to get you there internally even if it means moving under new management. Plot a timeline, take some classes and see if the company will support the costs of them as well. If not then it's time to stretch outside and see what else is out there. Take a positive attitude into conversations with other companies and people who have moved that same path. Seek out a mentor within your community who has a similar background to you - they can light the way. Don't expect your manager to do anything for you, do for yourself and take control of your own destiny.

18. Farah BajwaFebruary 14,2023 at 8:41PM UTC

    Is this a conversation then you can have with HR? Since they are part of the process to fulfill open positions, maybe they can advise you on how to strengthen your candidacy for open or upcoming positions?