Seeking Advice: Should I accept a job offer or stay where I am?

Seeking Advice: Should I accept a job offer or stay where I am?

I'm working as an executive marketing manager for a medium-sized tech company based in San Francisco. I work remotely I've been here for four years. The president of the company is toxic (one day he praises/love bombs you the next day he challenges you and even if he is wrong, he cannot be wrong.) My immediate team is small, but easy to work with. However, we are overworked and have way too much on our plates. I've learned how to get by here and delegate things to other employees to remove a lot of my extra workload. There is a "hiring freeze" and they will not fill empty positions "due to impending recession". The company has a weird structure, so I report to two bosses. They are very financed-minded company, so all the systems are old which makes my job harder. They did not fire anyone due to budget cuts in 2020 because they are a finance-minded company. I got an unsolicited job referral from a friend/ex-coworker of my current job. (I'm guessing he knows how bad it is here.) The tech industry is small so word can get around quickly if you are looking for a new job. He referred me to a new job.

I've gone through the interview process and have an offer. The problem is I got a lot of red flags during the interview process. They said it will be "trial by fire" and seemed really eager/anxious/disorganized. They said I'd be working 99% for one company and then I find out they want 20% consulting. My interviews got moved around, no one was on time. They also said it was a new position and I found out there was someone in this position before. I went on five interviews and I asked if I could do the position fully remote. They want me to work hybrid 3 days a week 25 miles away even though the rest of the marketing team is fully remote. It could be good to get out of the house, but I have small anxiety around people sometimes (I'm an introvert). Also, I'm anxious about COVID exposure since I had autoimmune issues. They are offering $15K more, but that barely pays for the gas and the 2 hours of my time with traffic. They also want me to travel 3 times a year, and I hate to travel. For me, I want to put my family first. I'm a mom and we are trying to have another baby or adopt. I usually drop off the kids and S.O. picks them up. With hybrid that would have to change. I have three dogs. Two under a year old. I feel guilty leaving them three days a week in a crate. I'm tired and truly conflicted. Please help!