Has anyone had to deal with a clique work place, drama and/or gossip?

31 Comments

1. AnonymousSeptember 2,2025 at 12:33AM UTC

   I'm glad NOT to be in the cliques. I mind my own business and do my job well. Remember you're at work to earn money, not to make friends. Just ignore the pettiness and when it starts to get you upset, just think about the money hitting your bank account and the enjoyable things you will do outside of work.

2. AnonymousSeptember 2,2025 at 4:39AM UTC

   I have seen this many times. My solution has always been to not engage. I deliver a very high level of work, i pretend to agree with everything from a distance and keep a low profile as I work to get away from it by earning a transfer or finding a new job.

   You need to participate to be involved and I always manage to find distance so i dont engage. My work is my cover. She can't pit you against anyone if you don't participate.

3. AnonymousSeptember 2,2025 at 11:52PM UTC

   I agree completely. Don't let anyone pull you into the gossip. Something that works really well for me if someone comes to me with the latest gossip is to give a caring response rather than asking for the juicy details.

   Example: Coworker says, "Did you hear that Susan might be getting a divorce? I heard that she and her husband have been sleeping in separate beds. Ever since we hired the new guy in accounting, she has been wearing a lot of plunging necklines to work too. I wonder what's up with that."

   Instead of asking for all the details and saying that Susan really has been looking too sexy for work lately, say "divorce can be tough. I hope she is OK."

   9 times out of 10 showing empathy instead of eagerness for sordid details will shut down the gossip or at least they won't continue to share it with you.

4. AnonymousSeptember 2,2025 at 12:58PM UTC

   Whoooooo-eeeeee! I see that, like me, you’re a teacher, and honestly, I don’t think there’s any worse workplace than a school in terms of gossip and cliques.

   I started a new job last year, and will retire within the next 10 years. Things here are no different than any other place I’ve taught, but I made a conscious and intentional decision to stay out of it at this school.

   It’s working out so far. I chat with others about general topics, like the weather or the news (not all of it by any means!) and I don’t share much in the way of personal information or opinions.

   It’s a little lonelier than in the past, but I have a full life outside of work, and the lack of tension and stress during my work day is more than worth it!

   Wishing you all the best!

5. Lakota SierraSeptember 2,2025 at 10:28PM UTC

   We have a lot in common on this topic. Thank you all for your advice.

6. AnonymousSeptember 2,2025 at 5:13PM UTC

   I believe you have posted about this before. Rise above it and if you are truly bothered by it pull her aside and ask her to think about how this is affecting your morale. Let her know that you respond best to positive feedback vs. what she is doing and give her an example of how to do it right.

7. Lakota SierraSeptember 2,2025 at 10:26PM UTC

   Thank you for your advice.

8. AnonymousSeptember 2,2025 at 8:32PM UTC

   Is your boss in high school?????

9. Lakota SierraSeptember 2,2025 at 10:25PM UTC

   Unfortunately she has the mentality of a 13 year old.

10. AyianSeptember 3,2025 at 12:44PM UTC

    I worked in such a place for a year. I looked for every opportunity to leave until one was available. There is nothing you can do but participate to some degree or get fired.

11. AnonymousSeptember 3,2025 at 1:18PM UTC

    Just don't participate in work place gossip, it will come back an bite you in the end.

12. AnonymousSeptember 7,2025 at 7:39PM UTC

    Truer words were never spoken. It’s so tempting! Especially if you’re kind of bored. Do pay attention to whom

    is carrying the gossip and who is being targeted.

13. GirlBossanova934974September 3,2025 at 1:18PM UTC

    In my last 2 jobs, we had the same demographic of employees. One job was run by drama, gossip, whining, and infighting. The second job had none of the above. The difference? Job one was managed by an absentee manager who loved to whine about just about everything. Job two was run by a manager who made no excuses for herself and didn't go for cliques, going behind other people's backs and gossip.

    The bottom line? These sorts of bad behaviors come from the top. I would be filing resumes on the outside or looking for an transfer to a different group within the organization.

14. AnonymousSeptember 3,2025 at 1:32PM UTC

    Document everything. This is the type that will gaslight you, lie about what she said, change her mind and pretend she didn't, etc. Outside of getting out of there ASAP, do this to protect yourself. Take notes, get things in writing if possible, etc. Good luck.

15. Colleen HansonSeptember 3,2025 at 2:06PM UTC

    Unfortunately there is not much you can do, outside of looking for a new job. This type of behavior, although extremely immature, is not illegal.

    I had a boss like that once and it was horrible. If you didn't participate in her work place antics/gossip you would become her next target. I learned that no one liked her and people just went along with her to keep from being her next victim. Just try to keep your head down, don't take it personally and seek out other employment. When it comes from the top like that it never gets any better.

    I left within six months and a year later her company went out of business! Her current employees showed up one day to locked doors and a sign saying the property had been seized/foreclosed on for non-payment. In the end, she got what was coming to her.

16. AnonymousSeptember 7,2025 at 7:35PM UTC

    I worked in a company like that and it was incredibly successful and the bully CEO got away with the most outrageous egregious evil behavior. People were abused unfairly fired and those that were not part her inner sanctum of evil were required to Keep their heads down and suck it up. Formal complaints were lodged to

    HR (whom she had highjacked) and to the board. These went nowhere and she retired and her inner circle carried on when she left. This is the reality people.

17. WendyRMSeptember 4,2025 at 1:47PM UTC

    I've worked for someone like that. So bosses like this look for fodder to use against employees. My advice is don't talk about your coworkers with your boss. Don't divulge personal info you don't want shared. If possible, try to make a good impression on your boss's boss. Be a solid worker. Stop any people pleasing. Don't be surprised if you feel like the boss wants you out. Bosses like this play favorites and will quiet fire you if the percieve their own shine to be diminished. If you don't already, CYA. Everything in writing. Then keep doing good work. Leave only on your terms when it's right for you.

18. AnonymousSeptember 5,2025 at 8:56PM UTC

    This is good advice. Keep your head down and nose out of the drama. If it is too distracting, then maybe start looking elsewhere. Good luck.

19. AnonymousSeptember 7,2025 at 7:29PM UTC

    Yeah. If you find that you’re having fun or becoming popular know it’s a huge red flag and you will be skewered soon enough! Sad but that’s how things are these days in the workplace. Protect yourself be appropriate keep your mouth shut and have a nice day!!

20. AnonymousSeptember 6,2025 at 12:02AM UTC

    Have a daily diary and be consistent about writing in it religiously. You'll need it if you end up staying for any reason. For me, the company had moved me out from another state, and if you didn't last a year you had to pay them back. So that wasn't going to happen. I didn't last the full year and ended up suing them. My documentation proved to be very helpful.

21. AnonymousSeptember 7,2025 at 7:26PM UTC

    Oh wow. Never heard of that before! That is so cruel! I imagine you prevailed in the lawsuit even tho you agreed to the terms. when did companies start doing this?

22. Rosa GoesSeptember 6,2025 at 2:24PM UTC

    I agree with most posters about documenting and looking for a new job. In the meantime, you can focus on your job, go out for your lunch break versus staying in the break room, etc. Try to stay out of their clique as much as you can. I hope you find a new opportunity soon.

23. Lakota SierraSeptember 6,2025 at 2:42PM UTC

    You're all probably right.

24. Lakota SierraSeptember 7,2025 at 8:14PM UTC

    Thank you. I appreciate the reply.

25. Lakota SierraSeptember 6,2025 at 2:40PM UTC

    Thank you all very much for your comments and responding to my post. It's been a very stressful week at the school where I work and my boss is immature and unprofessional when it pertains to stress. I'm not sure what to do at this point in time because I have accumulated over 100 hours of vacation and invested in 401K. A few people are quitting at the school where I work. I'm at a loss.

26. Brenda CrawshawSeptember 6,2025 at 4:09PM UTC

    First, get your own ducks in a row. Nail down the laws/rules about acquired PTO and how it can be used or paid out upon severance (yours or theirs).

    Learn what your rights are as far as whether this person decides to let you go when/if this comes to a head.

    Are the other people who are quitting also under this person's aegis? If so, it's probably likely that someone above this person has taken or soon will take notice.

    In the meantime, as has been shared, document EVERYTHING. It's a total pain in the ass, I know, but this is a proven strategy to both protect you and bring facts to light. As soon as you get out the door, take a moment and note everything that occurred that day. Stick to facts and note them all.

    Become a teflon human. You have a job - a very important job if you are in a school! Stay super busy with your own work, do NOT engage in any one on one conversations, even with the people with whom you commiserate. (Tell them you will catch them out of the building.) If this person approaches you and starts to rattle on just very politely say you are dashing off to X and will "catch up with her later". If anyone comments on your sudden unavailability, blame it on the loss of the people who have quit.

    Look, you are clearly head and shoulders above this person because she's carrying on and you are here looking for solutions. Wear that as your superpower. People like her do eventually step on their tongues and out themselves as problems.

    You've got this. It's not pleasant but if you can shift your focus to being the more effective person, gamifying documenting her BS and setting an example, you are going to be victorious!

27. Lakota SierraSeptember 7,2025 at 8:14PM UTC

    Thank you.

28. Lakota SierraSeptember 7,2025 at 8:16PM UTC

    What's frustrating is I have invested in 401K and over 100 hours in vacation that I'm taking in November.

29. AnonymousSeptember 8,2025 at 12:35PM UTC

    My advice is to stay out of it as much as possible. Don't talk with your boss about your coworkers and don't talk to your coworkers negatively about your boss. Expect that everything you say or write at work to be shared with someone and behave accordingly. Do your job to the best of your ability and stay focused. Depending on how attached you are to this job, either start looking for something else or keep doing your job and focus on your own career (if promotions or sideways moves are an option). People like that come and go at a lot of work places so your best bet is to focus on you.

30. AnonymousSeptember 8,2025 at 2:37PM UTC

    Girl, rise above it and throw silent shade on them for the petty behavior. Try to retain your principles and integrity even if it means pushing back on things. Show up, do your job to the best of your ability and keep telling yourself that your work is not your life and your life is not your work. Our job is a reflection of our skill set. It's a place that we can go to utilize our skills, our qualities. One thing that really helped me is reframing work as a transaction. I am selling my labor in order to permit me to do things that fulfil me in my life.

31. AnonymousSeptember 15,2025 at 2:02PM UTC

    When it’s been a problem I do a short weekly update email listing accomplishments, issues (roadblocks but in a high conflict environment you need to neutralize the verbiage) and next weeks goals to my direct supervisor. The first time open with “ since there’s been a lot going on, I thought I’d summarize my work this week for you”. To be honest, keeping that in mind as my deliverable helps ME stay centered in the fray. It also makes it easy for your supervisor to accurately report your contributions up the org chart. Doing that one-pager weekly has been extremely valuable in my career.