Burned out and becoming bitter

52 Comments

1. Barb HansenApril 1,2022 at 9:00PM UTC

   You are not being unreasonable for not wanting to work overtime (no lunch means you are working overtime)

   You are not being ungrateful if you say "there is too much work for one person to do".

   My advice is to separate your feelings from your position, which I know can be hard to do, and talk to your manager.

   If you were a people manager and one of your staff was overworked, you would work on fixing that situation and you might have to present your team member's work load to your manager. You would present the case to reduce her work-load without feeling bad about having to make that case.

   Talk to your manager about how your previous position's work-load can be:

   -off-boarded to other staff manager

   -just put-off until a new person is hired (if that's possible)

   Being over-worked can cause mistakes, burn-out, sub-standard work-product for clients.

   It's just business, you can and should present the facts of your work load to your manager.

2. Emily KeiperApril 1,2022 at 11:45PM UTC

   You got a promotion for a reason, you are a rockstar!
   That’s also why they entrust in you to take on the work load but you’re right, sometimes leaders don’t realize just how much they put on their employees. We have to open their eyes and advocate for ourselves.

   1- I’m hoping you got a serious pay increase for the extra work load and if not that also needs to be discussed
   2- I don’t think it’s out of line at all to ask when and how the positions will be back filled. If you need evidence or proof to make it happen map out the hours you’re taking on to do these other tasks and that will support the need even further for a full time person (or two).
   3- what a great position to say (if of course you are interested in leadership) “I have taken on all responsibility so I’m proposing that you increase my pay and allow me to backfill the roles and have them report directly to me.”

   Good luck!

3. AnonymousApril 2,2022 at 1:27AM UTC

   If you were to win a new dream job and leave tomorrow, believe me the would quickly fill 3 or 4 positions and drive change and a steep learning curve.

   Nut because your still there, still willing to take it all on, they don't have to do anymore but take their time, back those extra salaries they're saving and extend things for as long as they can get away with it. Trust me your promotion and any raise you got doesn't remotely compare to the savings of those absent salaries and having you perform those vacant jobs.

4. Maria MolinariApril 2,2022 at 1:38PM UTC

   You are absolutely not being unreasonable! I recommend having an open and honest conversation with your boss. If you never say you’re overwhelmed, no one will ever know. They either A. Don’t feel like they need someone additional since you’ve been going the work or B. Are taking their time hiring because you are doing the work. Having that conversation can only help your workload and peace

   best of luck!

5. AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 12:30PM UTC

   I agree completely. I was very overwhelmed years ago in my role and spoke up. It was very hard but they responded immediately and another position was added to help with the volume of work. Data to supported the increased volume was critical. Best of luck!

6. Jacquelynn LucasApril 3,2022 at 12:55PM UTC

   I would think starting off a conversation about an update on the hiring process would be good. You could also mention that you would like to focus more on the responsibilities related to your promotion to ensure you are learning and contributing in that role. If you are unsure of the expectations ask for clarity. That way you understand your bosses mindset before you state your case. I think you still need to state your case but you would be able to phrase it in a way that your boss will be able to hear it.

7. Crystal HowellApril 4,2022 at 2:29AM UTC

   The Great Resignation had unleashed many in the job market, and so many have regrets. Is your company actually hiring online and interviewing, or just said they were?

   Shouldering 3 jobs, is a bit much. I had a manager pat herself on the back because she hired a person that was skilled in 2 positions, she boasted in the manager meeting I got 2 for 1 salary.. Point is, find a recruiter that will find you a better position paying for all 3 jobs your shouldering. Get paid what you are worth, ask for increase in pay,since folks left. Always have a plan B &C.

8. AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 2:56AM UTC

   This happened to me, I was doing three roles and was fired. The company is drowning. If you can leave, don't look back.

9. GirlBossanova934974April 4,2022 at 12:06PM UTC

   Your employer needs to look at 'contract employees' to fill in the gap! You can't just wait around for the employee of the month to walk through the door! A one year contract employee to take over your old assignment would be a good way to solve these issues. If the contractor works out, you may wish to hire them full time. If not, management has bought itself some time. May have to pay a bit more for a while but those are the breaks.

10. Maggie StoneApril 4,2022 at 12:29PM UTC

    No, you’re not being unreasonable.

    I don’t blame you for being frustrated and resentful. I would absolutely have a conversation with your boss. I would keep it practical and calm, not focus on what you’re feeling. From their point of view, if they have someone holding down both jobs, why would they spend the time and money to hire someone else? In their mind, there’s no rush.

11. AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 12:32PM UTC

    Definitely have the conversation. Be open and honest but refrain from complaining. I think it’s a fair question. So many say to run. I really don’t think that should be your first course of action. I’m sure they respect you if they just promoted you and would understand the discussion. You’ll know your next steps once you do. Best of luck!

12. Melissa VerdoniApril 4,2022 at 2:11PM UTC

    sorry ????
    do not complain about doing 2-3 jobs at once for over 4 months ??? do you hear yourself. this is how u LOSE emplyees , by talking like you. NO one should EVER feel bad about 'complaining' doing 3 jobs for the price of ONE , its illegal by the way ......

13. KelleyApril 4,2022 at 12:49PM UTC

    Have that conversation. It sounds like you’re at a breaking point so the conversation is needed. At this point I would be more concerned with your mental health, avoiding burnout, etc. rather than the concern of how it will be taken by your boss. Do what’s right for you.

14. Malini SomApril 4,2022 at 1:02PM UTC

    Have the conversation! Ask them for a plan on what can be taken off your plate at this point and given to someone else so you can ensure you are doing a great job with the things you are responsible for, rather than mediocre because there are too many responsibilities on your plate.

15. Melissa VerdoniApril 4,2022 at 3:06PM UTC

    EXACTLY , i was reading an article today about this ,,,people who take on other work rarely get thanked for it , but get complains that their work isn't PERFECT. YOU end up looking bad., thats TOTALLY ridiculous and thats a huge issue on the bosses part ,,, that lack of basic intelligence. but try telling them that .... i lived it myself.

16. AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 1:08PM UTC

    I can hear the fatigue in your "voice"....but do not emotionalize this. Ofcourse you are exhausted--you are doing the work of 2-3 people right now, and have for a few months...!!!! And so, I don't think you should be agonizing about this conversation. In fact, your boss shouldn't be surprised that you feel exhausted and strung out...He/She knows that you are doing extra work. Take your emotions out of this and simple state that you need to have your work role defined, as doing the work of 3 people is not sustainable for you. Put it back on his/her lap. Say it with confidence. Good luck and keep us posted.

17. Ellen Smith FaganApril 4,2022 at 1:49PM UTC

    She is being abused - how is she supposed to not be emotional about a threat to her life and success and health?

    Look for new work…………………………………………… IF you respect your boss and the boss is not a newbie, then your boss is abusing you. Period. But IF you love that job to the heavens, STILL LOOK FOR A NEW JOB…. then when you have it within easy reach, gently mention to your boss that you know you are being exploited at risk to your health and finances, and have found a new job option - and tell the boss to make rainbow contract with you. Like the rainbow in the Bible, it fixes your issue and promises to never repeat the abuse. If you approach the boss showing you have options, it works every time for the power in the moment and it restores your dented self-esteem. This is your life…no one gets to hurt it.

18. AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 1:24PM UTC

    They are absolutely taking advantage and will continue to do so until you stand up for yourself.

19. ReenaroodApril 4,2022 at 4:01PM UTC

    Absolutely agree stand up for yourself they are taking advantage of you good luck

20. Samantha s.April 4,2022 at 1:31PM UTC

    Definitely have the conversation but keep it matter-of-fact and not emotionally driven. You seem genuinely concerned that you'll burn out completely so you're taking responsibility for the sake of yourself and the company. Be confident in this and when you look at and present it objectively like this, I think a good employer should be grateful and responsive. Best of luck!

21. Ellen Smith FaganApril 4,2022 at 1:41PM UTC

    NO - it’s. Your life - if you have skill, start looking for a BETTER BOSS , because YOU ARE BEING EXPLOITED.

    You can sue and win for double salary, at least, for filling two roles. Even the simple Labor Department rules cover you in this “Demi-slavery” scenario. LOOKING FOR BETTER WORK is right…If this boss abused you once, this boss will do it again. Promote YOU out of danger. MORE: if you fail to fix this issue promptly, the law calls you an accessory to your boss’s abuse.

22. RenataApril 4,2022 at 1:56PM UTC

    This is always such a tricky one because on the one hand, you want to settle into your new role and establish a rhythm for yourself without distractions and on the other hand you don't want to come across as a moaning Minni because you don't want to help out in a crisis. HOWEVER, there is a fine line between allowing yourself to be overloaded and eventually burn out and helping out. To me, when hiring managers allow a position to remain vacant for 4 mnths that tells me they are looking to see if the work can be redistributed and absorbed without the need for a new hire. They are looking to who and how the work is reallocated by staff and that "making a plan to get it done" is in fact happening without them needing to do anything. As people then slowly readapt to the additional work and things start settling down again and the new hire is still not on board there is an argument to be made for the need to bring on a new person anyway. So just be careful that this is not what is actually happening under the guise of not being able to find a "suitable replacement". What happened to the succession planning for you - surely when you applied for the position they knew they would need to replace you and so they had time. Secondly don't get subtly bullied into backing down on your boundaries. At the risk of being gender insensitive - if you were a man would the same treatment be metered out. OR would a replacement have been brought on board already? #justasking. Corporate bullying can be very subtle, so just be wary that this is not what is happening either. Stand your ground and let the work that is not squarely yours to do stand over - because if they see you are not making a plan to get it done the pressure to bring someone in will increase. While you are making a plan, you are also enabling that behaviour.

23. Zofia JaneczekApril 4,2022 at 2:16PM UTC

    No, not unreasonable at all. Whatever you were offered in the promotion may currently not be enough compensation with all the added responsibility. I'm finding that rather than hiring, companies are spreading the remaining work onto existing employees and NOT compensating them accordingly. If you remain doing ALL of this work, they need to pay you more. If they're unwilling, they can delegate different parts of the job across several employees. Either way, the company is currently using you for their benefit, and to your detriment. I would start looking for other work, perhaps a more empathetic boss. There are too many companies like this and I currently work for one. The only way out for me is another job. Only you can decide what is correct here, just be prepared to start looking either way. There is better out there, though not easily found.

24. EMILY KIKUE FRANKApril 4,2022 at 2:40PM UTC

    It's not unreasonable and you are being taken advantage of. Before you have that conversation, make a note (or chart or graph or whatever) documenting how you are spending your time each week. This will give you backup for what you're saying. Don't feel grateful for the promotion, which you earned, and do advocate for yourself. No one can sustain doing 3 people's jobs for very long.

25. AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 2:56PM UTC

    It's not a tough market for most jobs. That's just lies promoted by the media. It's just the low wage, hard to do, stand on your legs all day jobs, most people don't want, but are forced to do. Now there's Uber, Lyft, shopify, delivery etc they can do instead. That's BS put out there funded by the retail/service industries. Millions of people are seeking jobs. It's the too picky, no applicant is good enough, no manager is available to interview hiring process that's the bottleneck and of course getting the jobs of three people done by one person, YOU! They don't feel a need cos you're doing it and you will burn out and be blamed for not doing your job. Women are known for doing this, just to keep the peace, but you will regret it. Go and explain to your doctor. Get a psych referral and ask for time off work for like 2 weeks or more for mental health reasons. When the three jobs aren't getting done, they'll hire temps fast, but they won't if you stay there doing it all.

26. AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 4:00PM UTC

    Do not go the mental health way.

    They can use it against you as someone being weak and not coping with a ”normal challenge”. Write down the problem/s and your suggestion to how it could be handled and mail it to your superiors to get it off from your responsibility.

27. RobynApril 4,2022 at 2:56PM UTC

    I was recently in a similar situation.
    It was 3 months for me. I discussed with HR, explained the situation, and was given a deadline of when I would "fully transition". They still weren't ready, but I was off the hook for the additional work and they had to redistribute for two weeks until they finally got someone committed and joined. I realized that while the work is getting done and no one feels the pain points of the absence, there isn't any sense of urgency (there were plenty of applicants, BTW). However, it was no longer my problem to deal with and I was able to work on scaling in my new role. I felt a bit guilty, but I realized that it was part of my old commitment to that job leaving my psyche. I suggest reaching out to HR to ask about status and voice any concern over priorities slipping due to your focus on fully scaling into your new role. I would then send a note explaining what actions you took with HR to get this closed to your boss for transparency. I'd imagine your boss has a lot on their plate too and would appreciate taking a stab at fixing the problem.

28. Stephanie LekowskiApril 8,2022 at 12:55PM UTC

    DO NOT go to HR. They work for your firm and management, not you. They will sell you out to your manager and your manager will then have it in for you. Just keep quiet, plan your exit, and get your paycheck.

29. AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 2:59PM UTC

    You can tell your manager that you are burned out from doing 3 jobs. He/she needs to hire 2 temp helps until permanent roles are filled. In my experience with temp agencies, they can provide bodies very quickly like within a week. Whether a good fit or not, it’s a different story. But at least you get bodies to delegate to. Don’t let your manager drag this on

30. AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 3:33PM UTC

    Are there certain tasks and people in other departments that could take on some of the work? Give some thought to it (in between doing 3 jobs!) Then go to your boss & say to your boss that you don’t want anything to fall through the cracks or miss deadlines or have small errors. (Basically, sell the boss on the problems that you don’t want the company to have - or the risks the company is now taking.). Have your plan to solve this problem by delegating tasks to other departments. This casts it more in the light of you proactively solving a problem the company has (vs the problems you’re having - they’re certainly taking a major risk that you might burnout!)

31. IntentionGirl630054April 4,2022 at 5:47PM UTC

    If you consider the other options, like looking for a job (in your 'free time' ;) ) then be prepared to move on -- if you've left the company in your head by interviewing, you've usually left it in your heart, too.

    However, your most important consideration should be how you are showing up and executing in your new role -- in your promotion role -- I had an individual contributor move to a management position, while continuing to do the contributor work because the backfill didn't occur in a timely manner -- and eventually a new manager was hired and he was demoted for 'not doing the manager job' well. Of course, there is also the issue of knowing the old job and protocols so much more (and finding them quicker to accomplish in a schedule) than the new tasks -- some of which you may not even be aware! I agree heartily with the suggestion above about offloading the old job(s) in that conversation and talking about the tasks (and focus) of the new job.

32. Stephanie LekowskiApril 8,2022 at 12:52PM UTC

    I have tried this and gotten the polite brush-off, i.e. "We'll certainly take this under consideration" which is suit/business speak for "Get the ----out of my office and stop wasting my time. And P.S. GET BACK TO WORK!" At some point you have to realize when you're getting managed out.

33. AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 5:39PM UTC

    Your situation sounds exactly like mine was a few months ago. I was running an entire department alone and was not given the opportunity to hire adequate staff. I spoke up and was promised that things would change but they kept getting worse. I was taken advantage of and lied to for a few years. The best thing I ever did for myself was resign from that toxic work environment. Don't sell yourself short on the plethora of opportunities that exist now. You've got to set boundaries with your current employer and stick to them to protect yourself. No job is worth sacrificing your health and well-being. If they don't respect your boundaries you owe it to yourself to move on to where you will be appreciated for your hard work. Take care of yourself and best of luck on your journey.

34. AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 6:37PM UTC

    I'm feeling much like the original poster, thanks for sharing your story, it's helping me with a difficult decision to leave my current position due to toxic work/life balance expectations where I am now.

35. Crystal HowellApril 4,2022 at 9:24PM UTC

    Agree, and the toxic attitude follows us home.

36. Crystal HowellApril 4,2022 at 9:24PM UTC

    Exactly, signs of a company going BROKE! We all assume our paychecks are secure.

37. ClareApril 4,2022 at 5:45PM UTC

    I would say it definitely needs a conversation with your boss. If it was me I would focus on the role I wAs employed to do and not bend over backwards to get everything done by sacrificing your lunch breaks and potentially your well-being. Maybe stuff needs to not get done and the managers feel the effects of that.

38. Stephanie LekowskiApril 8,2022 at 12:48PM UTC

    Ok, but what do you do when your boss or manager constantly blows you off, ghosts any e-mails you send to work with them to find solutions to distribute work fairly, pawns those talks onto "stuporvisors" who have no authority and just ask you to "do the best you can". All these things can happen at a company or firm.

39. Tory McClymondsApril 11,2022 at 8:57PM UTC

    This is a very good question I would really like to know that answer as well.

40. AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 5:54PM UTC

    It is very telling for an employer to be ok and even expect their employees to go above and beyond. I did this for my last employer, over working myself just to be told I am not doing one part of the work well enough. It can be defeating and I would definitely take into consideration how they show their appreciation and if they do not.

41. Janet ParkhurstApril 4,2022 at 6:04PM UTC

    Your situation is ridiculous. Of COURSE you didn't mind picking up the slack while your managers sought replacement, but 4 MONTHS? Of course it has! The company feels you can do it all, so why should they hire additional help. This is no promotion, it's exploitation. Have that frank talk NOW, and do not worry about how you'll be perceived. And be ready to give notice. At this point, they need YOU more than you need them.

42. AnonymousApril 5,2022 at 12:35AM UTC

    I did that for 7 years. My line manager actually had no idea what my role was. I’m sure he thought I only did one specific thing. I had tried to have a discussion with him in 2019 about my role and how it had changed from the role I had taken on. One day, he sent me an email saying I should be working an extra hour and a half, unless there was something he didn’t know? I resigned two days later. My line manager never spoke to me.

43. Shanel HoodApril 5,2022 at 1:20PM UTC

    I never speak up but must tell you...I did that for two years...get out now or you will definitely regret it later

44. AnonymousApril 5,2022 at 4:17PM UTC

    You can talk to your boss/ HR and tell them there is a mistake in your paycheck: you aren't getting paid for doing your old position or the newly opened position - and that you expect to be paid three salaries while doing three jobs; and expect backpay from the time you started at the position to which you were promoted. give them a deadline for filling those positions and a deadline in which to complete training for those positions (because you know it will end up being your responsibility to train the new employees.

45. Jean NeuhartApril 5,2022 at 5:07PM UTC

    Definitely talk to your boss about this. Keep it positive, not accusatory. “I’m grateful and excited for my new position as xyz, and want to be able to give it 100% of my attention. But as I am only 1 person, being responsible for the duties of my prior role, as well as the duties of [the other person who left] is making that difficult and stressful. I don’t want risk burn-out so can we discuss options for someone else to share/take responsibility of those additional duties so I can attend to my new role 100%?”

46. AnonymousApril 5,2022 at 9:12PM UTC

    They've gotten nowhere in hiring because they don't see that there's an urgency. You're doing both jobs so no one is aware that it is critical.

    Basically you haven't been promoted. You've been doubled up on. Management is making out great here. 3 salaries for the price of 1.

47. Karen GongawareApril 6,2022 at 6:32PM UTC

    They have no incentive to hire anyone since you are doing all the work for one salary. Put your boundaries up and talk to your boss about how trying to do 3 jobs well is impossible. However, you have been doing this for 4 months. Why didn't you speak up in month one? Good luck and hope it all works out.

48. Stephanie LekowskiApril 8,2022 at 12:41PM UTC

    You absolutely are not, and yes, you are being taken advantage of. I'm suffering at my job now due to others being given multiple jobs and I can't take a full lunch, day off, vacation, NOTHING. I am on my way out, and don't get in this Great Resignation why employers think they can get away with this. I am a very good worker, loyal, and try to give people the benefit of the doubt but sometimes you have to know when to say when and look for a new position where "teamwork" doesn't mean you're the only one constantly expected to "take one for the team".

49. AnonymousApril 12,2022 at 6:15PM UTC

    I am in the same boat as you.
    I have been this way for several years. I have had the discussion with my boss. I have laid out what I am doing and how that lines up with my goals for the year. Nothing has worked. I took a week vacation and I even asked directly in email and call who would pick up the testing that needed to be done. NO decision was made. I came back from vacation and no testing occurred. I came back to a ton of emails and a note that I had not done any testing . So I spent 14 hour days trying to get caught up on everything.

    I can't wait for June - I have a 3 week vacation time off and will not be taking my work phone with me. They still have not made any arrangements for someone to cover for me while I am gone. I quite asking anymore for my coverage. I make it a habit of signing off each day by 6pm and no weekend work. I am not getting everything done, but I am maintaining a level of sanity. I just have to tell myself not to care too much just do what you can when you can. This so runs against my ethics and does cause me conflict in my life, but it is the only way I can survive.

    I am sure I am marked for Reduction in workforce list if and when that happens.

50. AnonymousApril 13,2022 at 12:47AM UTC

    UPDATE: I did speak to my manager, and he was SO supportive.
    I removed my emotions from the problem, and outlined for him exactly what my concerns were. I created a timeline to illustrate how my work will continue to suffer (because our busy season is coming up) and I created a document that captures all that is currently on my plate. I also began forwarding the "random" tasks/requests that I get to further show him that he is not fully aware of all that I am working on (it also shows my collaborative nature because I get a ton of these requests and am usually willing to help out).

    He hired a temp that reports to me and started today!! Immediate relief. Thanks for all of the support.

51. AnonymousApril 14,2022 at 3:07PM UTC

    This sounds exactly like I wrote this; unfortunately my current director supervisor has been unwilling or reluctant to support me.
    I am unsure if she wants to take her hands off and allow me to take the reins, but some guidance in my new role would be greatly appreciated. There are certain functions that the previous individual in this role did that I did not have access to; and right away, the director expects me to have this information. We scarcely have any staff in our department, so I am doing a bulk of the work. We are interviewing two candidates currently, so I am hoping that they come aboard and we get the assistance that we need.

52. Liz MilneApril 17,2022 at 11:06PM UTC

    Ask to meet your boss and directly tackle them about your old job: 'Have you found someone to take on my old responsibilities as I feel that they are holding me back from achieving all I could in the new position. Also, while I am coping at the moment, working well at this high rate of intensity puts me at risk of burning out within a few months and I would very much like to give this company many more years of my expertise and skills.' Something like that?