I've resigned and my boss won't give me an end date

Anonymous

April 23,2022 at 1:19AM UTC

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I've resigned and my boss won't give me an end date

I run a team that runs a whole function of the business at a small-ish company. I have been having issues seeing eye-to-eye with the CEO of our parent company for a few months now on the direction to take the business. On April 11th we were having a meeting in which I decided that I couldn't continue on in this role. I let him know that and told him that we should change the direction of the meeting to coming up with a transition plan to replace me. This was not a purely emotional decision. The thought has crossed my mind several times over the last few months. But he was taken by complete surprise.

He asked me to take a few days and think about it. I told him it wasn't necessary. I've already thought about this situation extensively and this was the best decision for me. He asked again if I would please take some time. I told him out of respect for him I would take a few days but it would really be some kind of hail mary for me to change my mind. Two days later (the 13th), I made it official again that it was best for me to leave. Since I run a team and a full function of the business, I told him that I would be flexible on my timeline. I could give him anywhere from 1 day to 6 weeks notice but if he thought a longer transition was best, we would need to come up with a very specific plan because I did not want to spend time sitting around essentially being a lame duck. I'm not interested in getting paid to play games on my phone. And I also did not want to spend my transition time doing much of the day-to-day "grunt" work I have been telling him for months that we needed a solution for. We would need to find a solution for who is going to do that right away and I could spend my transition time possibly hiring or onboarding another leader like myself.

That was 4/13. And since then I have not heard a word from him. He hasn't responded to my emails or picked up any of my calls. (we work remotely). I have spoken to other leaders in the company (who he hasn't told about my resignation yet) and they have said they have heard from him, he must just be busy, which is why I haven't been hearing from him.

What do I do here? If this were a normal 2-week notice situation I would have been done working today. But my resignation isn't even official with HR yet. I would love to be able to just send a resignation letter saying I am done immediately but I run a team and there is no plan for them that I am aware of and I don't want to ruin all the hard work they have been putting in. I feel my only other option might be an email to the president of our board of directors letting them know about this situation but that seems so extreme. Is it time to get that extreme if I don't hear from him by the end of day Monday?

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Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistApril 23,2022 at 6:02AM UTC
I'm not exactly sure why you need someone else to give you an end date. It seems to me that your CEO thinks that if he ignores you, you won't leave. My guess is he's going to drag this out as long as you let him.
If you really want to leave, I suggest you send the following email to HR or the President of the BOD or both first thing Monday morning:
Dear HR:
Please accept this as my written notice of resignation effective May 9, 2022.
Thank you for this opportunity.
Signed,
Happy Anonymous
Kris Mertins-ElliottApril 23,2022 at 1:05PM UTC
I 100% agree with Joan. Your end date was never up to him, really. You offered to do what you felt was right for your team and he is not accepting the fact you are leaving and behaving like a petulant child.
So, it's time to take matters into your own hands. Submit your official resignation (including an end date) to HR and the BOD and copy "him". Then, meet with your team to come up with a plan to transition your duties amongst them.
Best of luck!
AnonymousApril 23,2022 at 5:57PM UTC
You end when you want to end. You don't need permission.
CassandraApril 23,2022 at 7:02PM UTC
I think you have been beyond gracious here. I would send that formal/official email and CC anyone who needs to be notified. Set the date in that email. If you want to give 6 weeks, then give 6 weeks. If you want to give 2 weeks, then give 2 weeks. This is not extreme at all. Sounds like your boss is seeing how long he can get you to stay by avoiding you. So unprofessional and very inconsiderate.
ValleygirlApril 24,2022 at 2:17PM UTC
I understand where you are at and am very sorry. I advsied my manager over a month ago I felt like it was best for me to resign based on all the lack of teamwork, integrity and work ethics of those I work with, no development or coaching of me or any employee, etc. I proceeded finally to give my resignation on the 6th and it wasnt accepted - here I was asked since my manager was out and knew about it to wait, My Director was out that Monday working remote and asked we talk on 4/12. When we spoke she asked I wait and mull it over a bit llonger and consider staying because of her. I advised her she was one of the reasons I was looking to leave - her lack of leadership, favoritism,, advised of the teamwork, integrity and speciifc examples of all. My Manager was out on PTO and so they asked I wait and stay. I didnnt formally have a job so I decided I would try (note, i go in to work miserable and leave just as miserable sometime in tears out of frustration). On Thursday, 4/21, I finally asked my boss as he was leaving if we could talk again and I gave my notice. It was not welcomed and he of course was begging for me to stay. I was honest about how I felt there was a lack of vision of my future and no growth for me within our group as well as no development. Well sadly, I left feeling guilty and had what we will call resignation remorse as I didnt offically have a job. I let my manager know of my resigntion remorse and apologized as I didnt want to be emptionally unstable and all over the place as we are going through a reorg and a committment is needed for them to move forth. I met with my manager and his Friday and said I would stay on as I do not want to leave without a job and would rather see what they will do. I told them that it would be nice to be recognized and acknowledged for myself and other employees - coached on any opportunities, 15 minute meeting weekly to touchbase, developed and given opportunity to move forward. His manager said she is bad at this but would start to do it and meet with me weekly for 30 mins and bring me up to the SR VP. Thinking now I made a mistake as I have so many projects like you that I am involved in that they were making me feel guilty of leaving. Not sure what to do as I am still interviewing and have two this week I am very interested in and know if i get one of these jobs I will be out and this starts over with my notice they refused twice to take and acknowledge.
AnonymousApril 26,2022 at 1:17PM UTC
Valley girl, no one can make you feel anything. You feel guilty because your self worth is tied to feeling needed and they are playing that big time. You have choices here. You don't owe them employment just like they don't owe you employment. Untangle your self worth from feeling needed so that you set some boundaries, break this cycle of dependency and victimhood and find the joy that comes with a feeling of agency and empowerment.
Leslie WoodApril 26,2022 at 3:13PM UTC
No one can "refuse" your resignation - even if you have a contract with a stated resignation period, that's all that you would be required to fulfill. If you are unhappy and want to leave, then do it. You don't need to speak to anyone or have a meeting, put your resignation in writing with a timeline and stick to it. It's your life, be happy!
SamanthaApril 25,2022 at 6:39PM UTC
Honestly I would send a formal resignation letter and give them your end date. If they want you to end earlier, they can do that. But you just have to cut the cord.
Sholonda ChipepoApril 26,2022 at 12:10PM UTC
If you are not under contract you may leave “at will”. Write that resignation letter, transition your team and move on.
Megan RussellApril 26,2022 at 12:27PM UTC
I agree with Sholonda. You have more than done your due diligence on notifying them. Decide your own end date and send it formally to HR.
RondaSApril 26,2022 at 12:48PM UTC
Agree with several previous commenters.
If you don’t have a contract that requires a notice…you are free to set your own timeframe for departure. The best practice is to submit a formal letter (via email and certified mail) to your leader ( in this case CEO) and the the Chief Human Resources Officer (or designated HR leader) with your end date.
I know it may be tough…but trust and believe your team will be fine! Do what is right for you!!
Best of luck to you!!
AnonymousApril 26,2022 at 1:44PM UTC
If you don't feel comfortable with this - email your manager letting him know (as a courtesy) your intention to submit your resignation letter with your proposed timeline, and see if he responds.
That way, he at least knows you are going to do it. If he doesn't respond, then just send it to HR.
AnonymousApril 26,2022 at 12:58PM UTC
Contrary to what we all want to believe, we are all replaceable. Give your formal resignation letter to any who needs it, be sure to give them your final day in the letter. It is nice that you want to assist in the transition. But it is not necessary. By waiting for them to give you a date you have given them the power. Take the power back by giving them a date. If they don’t have a replacement for you by that time it will be their problem.
AnonymousApril 26,2022 at 1:01PM UTC
Why not make it official with HR, then formulate a plan with them. They ultimately handle the majority of the hiring in most companies so it will essentially force his hand.
This doesn't need to be a hostage situation.
AnonymousApril 26,2022 at 1:05PM UTC
It sounds like you're waiting for something more than a date. Perhaps a magic wand that makes the situation tenable so you don't have to leave?
It's your life. If you are going, go. Submit your formal notice with a date, call an all-team meeting, and then do your best to transition them. It might suck for a bit but they will be ok.
Sometimes that's hard to accept, but they will go on without you.
AnonymousApril 26,2022 at 1:11PM UTC
You are not in the driver's seat - good for you! You have many choices in this case, but here are two excellent ones:
1. Do some salary negotiating and ask for more $$$ in order to stay a while longer. This sounds tacky, but it is really business.
2. Go ahead and set up your resignation date via a letter. Give as much as 2 to 4 weeks if you want to leave things in good shape. Remember you have made a decision - it is not up to your boss to let you go.
AnonymousApril 26,2022 at 1:56PM UTC
I agree with the comments to make it official and no more than a month as you've already given him 2 weeks unofficially. He probably doesn't think you're going anywhere since you haven't given him your official resignation. Send him a resignation letter with an end date, and copy HR. If he needs/wants you to stay longer to transition the team, then you can negotiate your extension timeline, specific duties, pay, etc.
Kristin BurnsApril 26,2022 at 2:02PM UTC
I would put in writing what you have said verbally to the CEO. What you want is a plan. If you have flexibility, I have seen people use this opportunity to transition into a short-lived promotion that helped them in their next role (from lead to principal, from VP to SVP etc.) in exchange for a longer transition time. You could offer that if you want - I'm unclear if you are starting a new role but it sounds like you have the time.
I would write something like 2 weeks notice means you will be transitioning your role to an existing employee/s, 4 weeks means you will help interview replacements, 6 weeks+ means you will help find/train replacement in your new role as team lead (principal/svp) as you will be in a more senior position. Would that help you feel better about leaving your team in a good position?
Shelley Maley, Career Coach (PHR, GCDF)April 26,2022 at 2:17PM UTC
I would submit a resignation letter today offering two weeks notice. You gave him ample time to communicate regarding a transition plan, which was very professional of you. At this point, you are under no obligation to offer anything else. All the best to you!!
AngieApril 26,2022 at 2:30PM UTC
If your mind is really made up then send in your notice to HR and make it official. You gave him notice and he might think if he just ignores it then you will stay.
Leslie WoodApril 26,2022 at 3:18PM UTC
Have you been working on your transition plan since you originally resigned on the 11th? If so, you are already two weeks into transitioning out of your role.
You are in charge of your resignation timeline. Giving more than what is required in a contract or the standard two weeks is very considerate. I understand you have a team, but hopefully, they are high-performing enough to sustain themselves temporarily without you, especially with your transition plan in place.
Submit your written notice to your CEO and your HR department with your final date. Then, let your team know of your departure and your plans to transition work.
Karen GongawareApril 26,2022 at 4:14PM UTC
Umm failing to see the issue....You state you are done on this day and you are done. Whether 2 weeks from now or one month, you set the date. Why are you stressing over a team? That is your boss's issue. Pick a date and do it.
AnonymousApril 26,2022 at 4:19PM UTC
YOU tell THEM what your end date is. Period. Companies don't warn people two weeks before firing them (usually), so why should you jump through any of their hoops if you're set on leaving?
AnonymousApril 29,2022 at 6:00PM UTC
100%.
Bernadette M MartinezApril 26,2022 at 4:51PM UTC
You're in charge of when you leave. I understand not wanting to put extra burden on your team, but that is going to happen whether you leave today or in a month. If he's just trying to avoid the issue to not worry about it, that's his problem.
My guess is he is looking to replace you already and just hasn't told you in order to give himself ample time. You're going to be in a situation where you're told to grab your bag and they will mail your things to you.
My advice is the same as others: email HR, the CEO, and any other directly interested parties with a date you're leaving. I would also add in that email that you discussed this with CEO on4/13 and 4/16 and have not heard any communication regarding the transition plan for your role. As a result you are providing a leave date of May 27 (the 6-week Friday after your initial conversation with him), which is within the timeframe you gave him in that meeting (or really sooner if you are already finding other opportunities available to you).
You're trying to do what you see as the right thing, but it's up to them to fill your role and create a smooth transition, not you. You've been quite generous with your time as it is and at best, you're being taken advantage of. Make it official and get out.
Celeste Glasgow RibbinsApril 26,2022 at 5:48PM UTC
Determine the date you want to leave, then write a formal resignation letter with that date in it and send it to your CEO and HR. You can also craft a transition document with the status of your projects/your team's work and your recommendations for how to proceed in the short-term. That way, you have addressed your needs and your team's needs without belaboring this process any longer.
If you don't hear back from anyone within 3 days of sending your resignation letter, then you can start contacting HR with questions about an exit interview and how to handle terminating benefits and such. That will help you keep the conversation moving in the direction you need it to move.
Joanna PoeApril 26,2022 at 9:12PM UTC
How much time does your team need to be sufficiently prepped for your absence? Draw them up a plan and set your own end-date based on that. Stop waiting for the boss.
Liz MilneApril 27,2022 at 3:17AM UTC
Put in your official two weeks notice, send it to HR, send him a copy and in all copies say that you *were* willing to be flexible, but as he's clearly not taken you seriously, you are now offering two weeks as per your contract and then you will be done with them. If he asks you to stay on for, eg, three months, say 'sure, but I'll be an independent contractor at $[many more than you're earning now!] per day.
AnonymousApril 29,2022 at 2:27PM UTC
I'm going to respond before reading responses. Your boss isn't being responsive, they are being childish actually. What you do, you put your resignation in writing, simply stating that you are resigning your position effective X date. You dictate when you leave.