Do you tell your boss about your unseen disability if his or her actions indicate that they have no knowledge of how to work with such a person?
Anonymous
Do you tell your boss about your unseen disability if his or her actions indicate that they have no knowledge of how to work with such a person?
I've been at my current company for 5 years. I'm a high performer. I have good relationships not just within my team but cross-functional teams, some of industry partners and some of the vendors that we rely heavily upon. I'm in the legal field but also heavily involved in training new hires, vendors and other teams as needed.
Over the last 1.5 years, it's clear that the company is in a downward spiral and struggling; to be clear, if we can't get a product to market in the next 6 months, the company will not remain viable. We've had 2 rounds of very poorly handled layoffs with really the bare minimum provided to those laid off and in the case of the recent layoff, some were given no notice and showed up to the satellite office only to find a note on the door stating that it's closed and to return home; they received their same-day layoff notice that same morning.
Corporate goals for the year were already a challenge; with the loss of 20% of staff and some business critical teams dissolved, it's going to be nearly impossible to be successful at the corporate goals which we've been told won't change.
Another round of layoffs is forthcoming; the focus has largely been remote employees (which I am) so I'm already looking.
The issue: with the chaos and the low morale, there has been a total loss of respectful discourse, professional courtesy, transparency, accountability...you get the picture. Now none of this is a surprise to me because of how people respond to stress and loss.
Because no one is trying to steady the ship (if you will), if I am trying to get my job done and I have to do other people's job to get it done (and it impacts my efficiency and getting to other work), I am going to first ask and try to understand what the problem is if someone (specifically, this is a service provider that we PAY to do a job they aren't doing) has decided not to do his or her job and send them the training we went over (also a portfolio level policy of roles and responsibilities). After that, the next time it happens, I'm going to ask if there is something about the role and responsibilities they don't understand that we need to discuss. After that, my tone is going to change and I'm to escalate to my boss.
Yesterday, I was reprimanded for the tone of my email to a vendor that hasn't done their job in literally everything they've sent me for the last 2 months. My boss knows this. I have to do their job to do mine. They won't follow direction. It isn't just me: it's affecting the whole team - my boss knows this too because one other atty has come forward stating the same. It isn't unusual for me to be that person on the team that speaks up on behalf of others - like I have about my concerns about how people are treating each other and that we should do a team building to get back on track.
So I asked my boss what tone should I use when the vendor isn't doing their job *at all* and I've asked nicely, asked if I can provide support, offered one on one retraining...at some point, when I am getting excuses or no response at all or have to literally say that I am directing them as to what to do and not asking, and it's been going on for months, if no one else is going to say something to address how it's affecting work product and efficiency, then I will because it's simply unacceptable.
The email from my boss said that I don't consider how my tone affects everyone (I'm acting on behalf of everyone, we're all sick of it - suggesting that I'm short sighted is just wrong especially since my boss has called me the most empathetic person he knows), that the vendor is doing much better (I asked him that I didn't want to sound flippant, but compared to what? I've worked with them for 5 years and that's longer than he's been there), and that I respond with too much detail and it's probably hard for them to process. Right.
I told him that I haven't changed - how I am doing things is how I've always done them and also, how I was trained (not by him but his boss). How is it that I am being the one corrected for trying to trouble shoot and/or take the reigns of a problem that is impeding us from trying to get (what's pretty much already impossible) done? I was upset because I have no support, for the last year I have been taking on supervisor responsibilities at the director level but have been told 1) any promotion won't come until end of next year (that would be 2 years of performing the role without the title - noting here that the favorite on the team and the boss's bf is being promoted in Jan outside of the promotion period); and 2) any kind of compensation for my work is off the table because I've reached the max compensation for my current role).
I am neurodivergent (I'll spare you how it shows up for me), I have complex PTSD as a result of the environment of house I grew up in, I have recurrent clinical depression - each diagnosis has been made by an MD and I've lived with myself for years.
Having a boss tell me to essentially to be good employee and be quiet, that I am over reacting, that I am being over sensitive, and gaslight me about what he has and hasn't said not to just me but others makes me furious. I've come far enough with a lot of work to not be set off by the personal attacks (over sensitive, over reacting), I was still upset because it touches upon when physically abused by one brother (13 years older than me) and sexually abused by the other (8 years older than me) and my parents choice to tell me to just be quiet and don't upset them and go to my room and keep to myself.
Do I mention to my boss that his response to me when I am trying to keep us on track is toxic and dysfunctional and, as such, affects me on a personal level because I have what classifies as unseen disabilities? I wouldn't go so far as to call it discrimination as much as it is his ignorance.
Thank you in advance for any feedback.
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