I work a county job and it’s very political.

29 Comments

1. AnonymousAugust 7,2025 at 2:38PM UTC

   If you have a county job, there is probably an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) included in your benefits package. I would suggest, if this is starting to affect your mental health, that you contact your EAP and see if they can connect you with a therapist. They will be in a better position than almost anyone else to help you dissect your current situation with your specific workplace. The problem could be anything from personality "quirks" to a toxic workplace. There may or may not be anything you can alter or do to improve it.

2. AnonymousAugust 7,2025 at 2:58PM UTC

   You're probably being treated like that because you don't fit in. the way they want you to and that would be possibly kissing the butt of the employees who have been there longer. You sound like a strong level headed individual who is great at her job and doesn't need approval. They don't like that they want you to need them to accept you. I'd say look for another job and get out and find a place you are appreciated. No one should be treated like that --it's a disgrace. Stay strong!

3. AnonymousAugust 7,2025 at 5:14PM UTC

   Also I want to add with the women being a lot older I notice that their work ethic is a lot different. They do bare minimum other than me and another employee. That’s probably why I feel so out of place as well because I feel like the only one who cares about getting things done.

4. GirlBossanova934974August 8,2025 at 1:10PM UTC

   Having been in the workforce for over 40 years, I have seen a few offices like this. There are 2 big takeaways here. 1) You have joined a "mean girl club" type of organization and all the petty politics that go with it. If you choose to leave, that is up to you. How badly do you want out? 2) More importantly, this is what happens when the clerks are running the show. There's very little management here and the clerks know that. In addition, the "mean girl" mentality usually comes from the top. This is why the older employees do the LEAST amount of work.....aka because they know they can get away it. ANYONE doing more makes them look bad and that is probably why they resent you. Just a guess there. I would take this lesson with you. When you get into a good management role, don't allow this to occur........

5. AnonymousAugust 8,2025 at 1:22PM UTC

   Bravo! Girlbossanova nailed it!! The mean girls club is alive and well. That kind of organization exists in spite of themselves. I’ve worked at more than one of these and it is literally impossible if you have a brain in your head. Your choice, but move on so that the next place can appreciate you!

6. Leader135412August 8,2025 at 1:21PM UTC

   Just keep on keepin on. Hopefully some of them will retire soon. If they aren't friendly, just be indifferent to it. Do your job, just your job. And be glad your not involved in some office drama. If they disrespect you openly document it. Every county has a county manager. Most Municipalities and County offices go by the if your kin your in. If you got the job over one of their relatives then there will be no peace. So, Bless their little hearts and kill em with silence or kindness. But if you've been there more than 2 years it can just go on your resume and you could move on. County and municipal departments are like mini mafia's. It's not a secret.

7. Evelyn LivantAugust 8,2025 at 2:53PM UTC

   Not sure if this approach would work: on the next incident ask “I feel like I may be picking up on some tension today. Are you ok? Is anything wrong?”

8. Beth Whight MoralesAugust 8,2025 at 5:07PM UTC

   There’s nothing you can do. Government jobs are different. They’re sometimes very cush and staff members don’t need to embrace change until someone forces them to. It’s all about who you know and who the community players are - and if you’re no one to the community players then you are no one at all. Once someone gets a piece of the pie, they will guard it with everything they have, and fight to keep you away from it.

   In your case, you have to play a political games. Start casually chatting with your co-workers who seem receptive, and go out of your way to make “friends”. Then wait. If you wait long enough, people will leave, there will be new faces who aren’t a part of the “old” culture, and you won’t feel like you’re the person everyone hates. But by then you may be a part of that culture. You may even get a promotion. Eventually.

   County jobs aren’t going to be great for a promotional track, but they are usually good for job security. You have to figure out which one you want.

9. AnonymousAugust 8,2025 at 5:48PM UTC

   if there is limited opportunity for growth, that's enough reason to look for higher ground. You sound defeated at this job. but, you've been there long enough now to have a good job reference and lots of experience. Start looking now!

10. Debra WilliamsAugust 9,2025 at 12:48PM UTC

    The outcomes and culture of any organization are directly related to the outcomes and behaviors modeled, expected and rewarded by leadership —period. The culture will change you before you can change it. Peace is precious and priceless …move on to an organization where the culture aligns with what matters most to you and where you can do your best work. Wishing you all the best !

11. robin aka georgiawebgurlAugust 11,2025 at 12:37PM UTC

    100% and rarely is leadership NOT part of the problem. I have NEVER worked in a toxic environment where I could go to HR (LOL, yeah right) or higher up the chain and they either cared or did anything about it. Instead, it is the institutional and organizational culture. Could this place be better if they treated employees better? Certainly, but no one is stopping them. The change will be at the employee level. If enough employees leave, the place will either become more toxic and full of rampant nepotism, OR it might become better... but only if leadership does something.

12. AnonymousAugust 9,2025 at 1:23PM UTC

    Don't talk. Ask questions of them. Dumb ones like 'how are the kids?' Not that you have to care but it shows interest. Consider it part of your daily duties to show you care to one person at least once a day. You could double down and remember one thing they told you and the next week, follow up with a question about that thing. Bam, you've not only met your daily quota, you also reaffirmed that you are 'other centered.' If you didn't talk the rest of the day to anyone, you would be fine. It takes time but that's how to survive a political situation. I got to a point where I could close the door or wear headphones and people understood I was busy. Check out online videos about how to be personable as an introvert or how to navigate a scenario such as this.

13. Marlane LordAugust 9,2025 at 1:53PM UTC

    Listen, I worked in County government myself. Politics and upward mobility are a real thing there. What helped me is winning over the trust of the department directors by being professional and hard-working. It also helped that I had higher education, as did the directors. That could be intimidating if the director doesn't have that. Truthfully, you might have better odds of moving up if you move out of there. But I can tell you that being "quiet" and possibly limiting conversation to "good morning," isn't going to work anywhere. Employers put value on good communication, which includes thoughtful interaction about not just work issues, but general chitchat. That could be a goal for you - to practice being more intentionally and thoughtfully interactive with others.

14. AnonymousAugust 9,2025 at 2:40PM UTC

    the times I’ve tried conversating more hasn’t changed anything yet but I’ll keep trying

15. Michaele JordanAugust 10,2025 at 12:33PM UTC

    Door slamming & death stares? And you think it's just because you're quiet? That's way past normal. Sounds more like a rumor (true or false) has got around, accusing you of something ugly. Talk to your supervisor, & ask if they know what's caused it.

16. robin aka georgiawebgurlAugust 11,2025 at 12:31PM UTC

    If your supervisor is part of it (and if they are not stopping it or are part of the loop, then they are), talking to them is like throwing gasoline on a fire. What it can do is be a warning shot and for some folks, they will back down in fear of getting caught... but that really only works if they are skating on violating policies and/or laws, and there is someone will hold them accountable. If they are a narcissist, talking to your supervisor just lets them know they are winning.

17. Jennifer Chickenlittle RubberchickenAugust 10,2025 at 12:36PM UTC

    This doesn't surprise me and women can be the meanest. Maybe someone's cousin or daughter in law wants your job. You have to decide whether it's all worth it. Good luck!

18. AyianAugust 10,2025 at 1:30PM UTC

    It is never worth staying at a job that makes you unhappy. The stress has real, physical ramifications in your body, not to mention the impact to the rest of your life. Find an exit strategy, it's never going to get better, as this is clearly the company culture. Look into nonprofit jobs for purpose and generally better culture. Idealist is a great place to get started.

19. AnonymousAugust 10,2025 at 1:46PM UTC

    Hi and join the club; because many government jobs are gained and maintained through the politics, nepotism or who you know (and I said many, not all); but if it is messing with your health, do as I do and look for a job or transfer elsewhere; there are some employers you could online search for whom offer similar or even better health insurance than even the government does, I.e. some electric companies or union jobs. Wishing us luck. ?

20. AnonymousAugust 10,2025 at 5:08PM UTC

    I worked at a couple ty job for 16 years and I felt the same way. When I finally changed jobs, outside of government, I couldn't and still can't believe how nice everyone is and how well I am treated. My mental health significantly improved, almost overnight.

21. AnonymousAugust 11,2025 at 12:21AM UTC

    Yep, State jobs are like that too.

22. AnonymousAugust 11,2025 at 12:30AM UTC

    It feels like ageism only in reverse. These colleagues are treating the workplace like a special clique - and any outsiders, namely young, female upstarts like you aren't getting an invite to join. It's probably not so much political than it is just plain old insecurity. Little wonder there's hardly any opportunities for advancement there. The old guard that's in place probably works overtime to block anyone that dares to move into their territory. If this is impacting your mental health, then it's time to brush up your resume and begin a search for a new position.

23. Abigail okereAugust 11,2025 at 9:26AM UTC

    Older women or ladies are supposed to love and teach younger ones but I wonder what the world is turning into. Just do what you’re supposed to do and continue to be nice. Pray to God to link you up with good supportive people.

24. robin aka georgiawebgurlAugust 11,2025 at 12:49PM UTC

    I am sad about this. As a woman who works across multiple sectors including IT, I have found that women supporting each other is almost a myth. Of all of the women I have supervised, those who have supervised me (or been part of the leadership chain), and peer colleagues, the number who have been supportive to other women in general is probably less than 10%. My friends and I call this the "Mean Girls Club Syndrome". It's gatekeeping to better careers, better experience, better work-life balance and even sometimes, better health.

    I used to think that I was treated worse by older women in the workplace than men, but I don't think that is it. I think I just expect older women in the workplace to at least be marginally supportive - don't actively work against colleagues, especially those who are newer to work.

    For men, I think I just assume that they will overtalk me or ignore my ideas, so I already have plans for how to work around that.

    Especially when I was younger (mid career now), I had more older women colleagues/leadership remark on how "young" I was or talk about my clothes. Maybe it is that the men I encountered got the memo that talk was inappropriate, but it always felt weird to me how much of the FEEDBACK I RECEIVED FROM WOMEN WAS NOT ON PERFORMANCE BUT ON APPEARANCE!!!!

25. AnonymousAugust 11,2025 at 2:35PM UTC

    I was offered a city job that I applied for and accepted it. That was the WORSE place I have ever worked for. That following Monday, I didnt go in but instead I forwarded my resignation letter to the manager of that department. I was there for only 10 days and that was enough for me. Very low energy people, I felt so out of place. But I feel so much better I made up my mind to leave,

26. AnonymousAugust 11,2025 at 5:10PM UTC

    These are turbulent times we are living in. Do you like your job? Perhaps focus on the positive aspects of it? I learned changing job does not guarantee it’s going to be better. It’s great to find contentment within oneself so we can focus on bringing good gifts to our associates. Sounds like you are doing that wonderfully. Some people can offer better gifts than others. There’s a saying, “ there is more happiness in giving than in receiving “.

27. AnonymousAugust 11,2025 at 6:12PM UTC

    Congratulations on making it two years, I don't think I would have made it two months. Slamming doors is very immature and should be unacceptable in a work environment. It sounds like a toxic, dead-end job in my opinion. Make a pros/cons list and see where you land.

28. Rosa GoesAugust 11,2025 at 8:21PM UTC

    County job or not, door slamming and death stares are unacceptable behavior. As other posters mentioned, start looking for a new job.

29. AnonymousAugust 13,2025 at 2:18PM UTC

    People tend to like people that gossip and are always messy around the office, until they get caught up in their mess. Keep being you, and continue to explore your career options. But under no circumstances should you leave a job because you are not in the "in crowd", this seems to be the theme in many offices.