My last two (high-level management) jobs have been terrible let-downs.

34 Comments

1. K MadiJuly 3,2023 at 6:54PM UTC

   I’m not sure what’s going on either, but it’s the worst it has ever been in exactly the way you describe. Zero communication and gaslighting is at an all time high. It’s sad for those of us who want a decent place to work everyday without drama.

2. AnonymousJuly 3,2023 at 9:21PM UTC

   I deal with gaslighting a lot. What saved me is that when I started this job in November, I document every task, meeting and critical update. Ditto cancelled meetings, etc. It literally saved me last week because I can show what happened three weeks ago!!! I don't put the time it takes but it doesn't hurt. I do put lengths of meetings and keep EVERY email coming and going

3. AnonymousJuly 3,2023 at 8:33PM UTC

   Absolutely agree with you! My current boss is the worst. I can hardly get a one on one meeting with him, he often forgets what I said, I write emails to keep him informed. I get responses less than 50% of time and the responses are very short, rarely even do answer my question.

   Tired of this situation. Looking for another job because I am losing my confidence and don't feel supported. Unfortunately, the market is bad, so no luck so far.

4. AnonymousJuly 3,2023 at 9:16PM UTC

   I absolutely agree!!

   I did some work recently and was told! 'Thanks, looks good." (They never looked at it I found out) Two weeks later I'm told "not good". Sickening. Worst part is: it was phase 1 of three so I assumed I was good to finish 2-3 in the same manner!!!! They told me to do the next two phases and I'm new at this so wouldn't you assume they reviewed???

   I was told long ago by a different employer that this presentation I submitted was excellent. Then they said "tell the truth, who REALLY did this?". I told them the truth....I did it - I did!!!! Two days later I was let go.

   I don't understand people anymore and honestly, SICK of the games.

   I go to work, am friendly and do what I need while going above when needed. Basically drama-free. Why I
   do I feel like I don't fit in? I say hi to everyone- no cliques. HS was 32 years ago. I'm professional, decent yet CYA as needed - in a professional manner

5. AnonymousJuly 4,2023 at 7:21AM UTC

   wow, yeah, leadership has no idea what they are doing.

6. AnonymousJuly 4,2023 at 11:53AM UTC

   I agree! I feel like she also described the job way incorrectly from the start and is making the rules up as she goes.

   But I cannot quit. I can't be let go. It's a huge corporation so maybe I can transfer but don't want to lose my pay.

   This experience makes me physically sick.

7. AnonymousJuly 4,2023 at 6:06PM UTC

   Yep, they are making it up as they go and changing their minds willy nilly! I really need to find a sane, stable employer...

8. AnonymousJuly 4,2023 at 2:04PM UTC

   Been there. Just left a company due to this. Because of a merger they put me in a role with very little guidance and no metrics to measure my performance in an area where I had no experience. However, I do have very good organizational skills and management experience. When I finally got the boss to talk to me (that was like pulling teeth) I asked “what do you see as my role in this department”? The answer was “I need you to act as me for the department”. So my follow up was “what does that entail/mean”? He response was “I’m not really sure”. What??? How do you run a department, bring someone in to manage areas in the department but have no idea exactly what you want or expect??! I tried to navigate on my own but each time I did something it turned out that wasn’t what he wanted. I finally left this place and moved on to something better. Spot the red flag early. It took me 9 months because I was trying to give this a chance. But should have left earlier!!

9. AnonymousJuly 4,2023 at 2:15PM UTC

   Oh my!!
   They don't know?? Seriously???!!!

   I am in a position where I'm doing something new (not what I was hired to do) and told to review notes, etc.
   Well, I came across my boss's report that she did and was able to download as an example.

   Many things I was told to do (ok, fine), she DIDN'T do!! I'm sorry, but as a manager preaching for excellence and expectations, shouldn't you follow them?!

   I was provided three documents that say how to approach a specific process by the same manager and all three are conflicting.

   I reached out and politely said "you say A on page 1 here, but the SAME process there in page 2 is B". I was very careful on my words but wanted to scream

   I pray I'm not let go over this. It's not my laziness or "unwilling to learn", it's in consistency of requirements. Amazes me how some make it to management level

10. AnonymousJuly 4,2023 at 6:03PM UTC

    I feel the same - getting out was a blessing! It was not a good fit for me at all and I was stressing super hard about it.

11. AnonymousJuly 4,2023 at 6:41PM UTC

    I hear you! My current manager write some very very simple process documents and not one address the real-life complexities and when faced with questions on how to proceed I get her frustration and "refer to the documents " which is exactly what doesn't work. I'm so over it all.

12. AnonymousJuly 5,2023 at 12:38PM UTC

    I’ve experienced something like this. Managers set you up to fail and then fire you. It’s very hard to have confidence in yourself after that experience. I have no advice because I’m going through it myself just solidarity.

13. AnonymousJuly 5,2023 at 7:58PM UTC

    Yes, I have been set up to fail a couple of times now. It really blows!

14. GirlBossanova934974July 5,2023 at 12:41PM UTC

    You have learned 2 valuable lessons here. 1) When it looks bad and managers do not respond, it is time to GET OUT and either transfer to another group in the organization you are with or go look for another job. Don' wait. 2) Management issues which you are describing often come from the TOP! Some new person comes in at the top and all the goals get reset and everyone sits around for the NEW DIRECTION. From my perspective of 40 years in the workforce, these sorts of problems have become much more common in the last several years as we have seen a good chunk of people promoted to management positions with ZERO management training or education or experience. Lots of retirements in the last few years have accelerated this problem. I have to deal with this in my organization right now. AND I am already sending out job applications to get out! Back in the day, we demanded a quality MBA from a quality school to get to a certain management level. Nowadays, the corporations don't seem to care much about management credentials. It's purely trial and error and if some damage gets done, that is just fine.

15. AnonymousJuly 6,2023 at 12:58PM UTC

    I agree! These days these Bosses are ill-equipped to handle and run a business. They dump people in these roles that they weren’t trained in and wonder why it’s gone to c r a p. Well duh they are beating a dead horse and not giving ppl the tools to succeed

16. AnonymousJuly 5,2023 at 12:50PM UTC

    I totally agree with you, I am going through the same thing at my job. I thought I was enjoying my job until I realized, God made me realize that I was doing to much on the job. When I took the position I thought I was doing good job until I realized that I didn’t like the role I took. It’s a whole stressful job

17. AnonymousJuly 5,2023 at 1:37PM UTC

    Sad to say, that is the norm right now. I have experienced it over the years and the situation has gotten worse. I took time off from the workforce and really am contemplating on returning. The only downside is the money that I am losing but mental health right now is more important than that. I do wish all the posters who are in this same situation God speed.

18. AnonymousJuly 5,2023 at 1:51PM UTC

    Thank you for sharing this! My last boss went from highly communicative and transparent to being more distant and less involved but then still wanted to be involved. It became too difficult to navigate and my passion for the role deteriorated. My new boss is more hands off but, appropriately involved. Enables and supports without stunting growth and flexibility.

    Keep your head up, there are still some great bosses out there.

19. AnonymousJuly 5,2023 at 1:59PM UTC

    Most importantly, don't take any of it personally! Who knows what the dysfunction in that organization is! Remember the old "Peter Principle" - people rise to the level of their incompetence. People become managers for a variety of reasons that have nothing to do with actually knowing how to manage others. You've dodged a bullet. I hope you have an excellent severance package.

    If you have a friend in the organization, ask them to stay in touch and let you know what else is going on. It could be that something is in the wind, like an effort to "flatten the organizational chart" or an upcoming merger. Knowing those things would give you some cover in future interviews.

20. AnonymousJuly 5,2023 at 8:06PM UTC

    I left the hotel industry for the exact reasons. You want to contribute, provide and ask for feedback as expected and when things go array they save themselves. Clear communication is non-existent until goals have to be met and your feedback personally presented once you're dismissed. In this industry the ole-boy network is clearly at work. I'm sorry you had to go through this. Don't get sick as I did over this. This may be a blessing in disguise.

21. AnonymousJuly 5,2023 at 10:52PM UTC

    Too late - I had to take some FMLA for mental health from my previous job. I really hoped this one would be better...

22. AnonymousJuly 6,2023 at 10:45PM UTC

    I should have prefaced that all of my evaluations were excellent. I tried to fight the separation but the network was stronger. When the anxiety kicked, work was the only possible contributor. My doctor agreed and I resigned; it just wasn't worth it this close to retirement. I made the right decision.

23. AnonymousJuly 6,2023 at 12:42AM UTC

    Not knowing what you do for a living it's a bit hard to help diagnose what you could do from your side of the equation to make this better for yourself. While I realize there are a lot of crap managers out there, learning how to manage your manager for the best outcome for you even when they are inert or absentee is vital to any success you seek.

    Try to think about what you could have done to deadline them or timebox what you need from them and when you don't get it memorializing it back to them and/or Hr so that you don't get blamed when things go south. /many imposters out there especially in larger companies where they do some level of hiring for quota, degree based hiring or getting folks from the googles of the world where there is a lot of dead wood.

24. AnonymousJuly 6,2023 at 1:56AM UTC

    It seems to me if you’ve made your way up to a high level management position, you should stop expecting “mentorship” and “guiding.” Maybe that’s part of the problem.

25. AnonymousJuly 6,2023 at 3:31AM UTC

    I disagree with this - the nature of mentorship and guiding may be different, but every employee at every level should have it.

26. AnonymousJuly 6,2023 at 7:58PM UTC

    Yeah, you don't promote someone or hire them into a completely new industry and not at least introduce them to the important players. I don't expect hand holding, but I do expect some guidance and mentoring when I am new to a role.

27. AnonymousJuly 6,2023 at 8:07PM UTC

    Your response is non sequitor. There’s nothing in the post that says the poster is “new to the industry” so I don’t follow. I don’t expect mentoring in any role, and I’m not in high level management. I’d say you are very lucky if you have a boss willing to mentor you. Introducing you to people is different - it takes minute s to do that, should be expected and is different than “guidance and mentorship,” which is what the post is complaining about the job lacking.

28. Eva Condron-WellsJuly 6,2023 at 3:17PM UTC

    Oh yes...On a good day, leaders can be overwhelmed, not communicate and struggle. Add in challenging (economic) times, uncertainty exacerbates it all. Metrics disappear as they try to stay afloat and justify their own role in the org.

    If you want to stay...shift expectations to a low information flow, high delivery mode. It may be time for you to show your skills and take the lead. Create a plan to deliver and affirm it with your leader.

    1. Be flexible, 2. Deliver on top priorities, 3. Create 1 or 2 KPIs. Acknowledge their focus on other priorities. Share that you will deliver on your propsed plan unless you hear otherwise by X date. Include in the plan that you will provide monthly reports with feedback from whomever your team serves, and you will check in weekly to see if there are issues or other priorities the leader needs help with.

    This is one way to handle staying. Either way...I sure hope you get a chance to share your capabilities and shine!

29. AnonymousJuly 6,2023 at 7:57PM UTC

    Yeah, I kinda tried some of that and got canned anyway. *shrug*

30. AnonymousJuly 7,2023 at 2:26AM UTC

    I experienced the same thing! I wasn’t let go but I did leave after feeling emotionally drained from never getting a sense of accomplishment.

    For me, I realize that if I’m not working for someone to at wants to help support my career development and growth than I’m on the wrong team. I’ve seen a number of high level executives receive guidance and support so it’s possible with the right leader. I say, own your career and on your next interview, interview your potential boss to make sure it’s a good fit for your needs.

31. AnonymousJuly 7,2023 at 6:15PM UTC

    Good advice. Hope you've landed somewhere better for you.

32. AnonymousJuly 7,2023 at 4:45PM UTC

    I will share my personal insight: I had been at the Director level for about 20 years. After Covid, I moved into a position one step down, as just a Senior Manager level. I'm much happier, and communicate with my boss, a Director, that I'm so happy at the worker-bee level. Management is not what it used to be, and I'd rather be gainfully employed than deal with the politics.

33. AnonymousJuly 7,2023 at 6:14PM UTC

    Wow, I would not consider senior manager a worker bee, but yeah, I am thinking I do not want to manage people anymore. It's not in me to be the brutal whip-cracker that most places want.

34. AnonymousJuly 10,2023 at 9:40PM UTC

    I don't know the situation but is the company not doing well? In those cases, it is often last in, first out. If they looked at you against your peers and you had only be there 8 months (I'm interpreting it wasn't very long - possibly slightly longer) then you may be the selection. Other ways they look at it is if they can do without the role - did your directs get repointed to other managers or your manager? Without knowing the details or if the company was in some financial difficulties it is hard to say but they may have made a dumb decision to hire someone right at the time the company was struggling and then they go told to cut costs. It doesn't take the emphasis off of "does senior managment have a clue" (obviously not if they hired and a short time later had to cut) but it may be the "why" behind what happened.